


Heart Outside My Chest

by AstroLatte



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Disorder, BOM Leader Keith, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), But also Keith is a hot gay dad, Cute Kids, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Garrison Instructor Lance, Gay Disaster Keith (Voltron), Guilt, I promise the ending will be happy, Implied Mpreg, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Keith and Lance are dads, Like he can get it, Lonely Gay Dad Keith, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mpreg for plot, Mutual Pining, Now With Pictures!, Parenthood, Pining Lance (Voltron), Post-Break Up, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, References to Addiction, References to Depression, Shiro needs a nap, Single Parents, Slow Burn, Smoking, Temper Tantrums, Toddlers, everything is going to be okay, like so much guilt, references to alcoholism, uncle shiro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:15:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 118,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23816008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AstroLatte/pseuds/AstroLatte
Summary: The night the lions left, Keith knocks on Lance's door at the New Altean Castle.Three years later, Lance finds him again, only now Keith is the captain of the Blade of Marmora and father of a little girl with Lance's bright blue eyes.
Relationships: Acxa/Veronica (Voltron), Curtis/Shiro (Voltron), Hunk/Shay (Voltron), Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Comments: 835
Kudos: 1598
Collections: Just some pretty nice fics





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I usually don't need to put warnings on my fics since I typically play it safe within the confines of canon, but this fic is a little different. 
> 
> Gonna just put it out there - There's mpreg. 
> 
> I've sat on this fic idea for a while because I was trying to figure if there's any way for the story to work without it. It doesn't. Azure needs to be their biological daughter and Keith is part alien - so here we are. 
> 
> There are no ABO dynamics, graphic images of pregnancy, or sex scenes. It's purely a plot point. Is mpreg for plot a tag? Either way, if that's totally not your jam, I feel ya. Catch ya on the next fic, no hard feelings. If mpreg just icks you out, it's mostly in the prologue and you can skip it entirely, jumping to the first chapter. It's only mentioned in passing in the following chapters and you can pretend Azure came to them from a magical stork or something. Whatever floats your boat. 
> 
> My second flag is that this is going to be one of my more emotional fics. Meaning, there's going to be sad stuff before we get to the happy stuff. You'll probably have very strong feelings for Keith, Lance, or both - at least, I hope you do. It'll be a happy ending and nobody is going to die, but that doesn't mean they won't suffer emotionally.
> 
> If you still wanna read this after all that well, congrats. You're a true Astrolatte stan. We're in this together.

The night the lions left, Keith knocks on Lance's door at the New Altean Castle. 

He had broken into the palace kitchen to get his hands on as much Altean liquor as he could carry. When Lance answers, eyes red-rimmed with tears that contrasted with the blue marks under his eyes, Keith forces his way in like Lance had done so many times to his old room at the Castle of Lions.

They sit together on the floor, cracking open the weird space alcohol and somewhere between recounting old war stories (incorrectly because Lance always exaggerated) they land on a drinking game. 

Lance learns that Keith has never been French kissed, and Keith learns that Lance had a crush on him at the Garrison.

When Lance's mouth lands on Keith's, his first thought is that Lance's tongue tastes like strawberry candies. 

When Keith drunkenly runs his hands under Lance's nightshirt, he moans at the satisfaction of finally getting to touch the warm, dark skin that's tantalized him for years.

They have sex that night in Lance's room. 

Twice. 

And then again in the morning.

Keith asks Lance if they can go back to Earth together. 

He kisses his knuckles tenderly and whispers, "Maybe."

Keith's mind is too fuzzy with love and affection to realize what a cop-out it is until he's out of the ensuite shower and finds the room empty.

When Keith makes it to the common area, Hunk tells him that Lance already left to go back to Earth.

They don't speak for nearly two months.

Until Keith gets the news.

It takes three missions before Keith is nearly dragged to the Blade of Marmora infirmary by Acxa. He's been feeling dizzy and nauseous for weeks, and while he keeps telling her he's just getting used to the new planet's atmosphere, she doesn't listen. 

He figures she rather have him alive than dead to avoid getting stuck with all his paperwork. 

When a Galra doctor asks about his symptoms, he's pretty vague. Headaches, nausea, faintness, and dizziness. Standard atmosphere sickness. 

She asks about moodiness, and Acxa chirps in, "More than usual."

Keith glares, but she's used to it by now. He sighs. "Doc, can you tell my subordinate here that I'm fine like I've been telling her?"

When the doctor looks at him over the rim of her glasses, he feels a pit drop in his stomach.

"I have a hunch on what this could be," she admits, scribbling something quickly on her tablet. "But I want to do bloodwork first. Should only take a few doboshes."

It actually takes a little more than a varga for the results to come back.

And he can't comprehend what he's hearing until the doctor repeats it for him. 

"You're pregnant."

Acxa snaps her fingers. "I knew it!"

The words still don't land in his brain. "I...can't... _how?"_

He must sound absurd, but the whole situation feels like a joke. Like someone is going to pop out of the wall and scream, " _JUST KIDDING! YOU ATE BAD SPACE YOGURT!"_ and blow confetti in his face.

It doesn't happen. 

"Female and male presenting Galra can both be impregnated and vice-versa given their secondary sexes," the doctor explains, slowly bringing down her clipboard to her lap. "These secondary sexes allow for the Galra to procreate with other races. It's an evolutionary adaptation after centuries of being a —for lack of a better term — _invasive_ species."

"I'm male!" Keith screeches, motioning to his body. "And half-Earthling!"

The doctor shakes her head. "It doesn't matter what your _presenting_ sex is, Mr. Kogane. You still inherited a secondary sex that can reproduce."

"But I'm gay!"

The doctor pauses, taking a glance at Acxa and Keith with a start. "Hmmm, my apologies. I thought you two were—"

They both catch her drift and scoff, "No!"

"I shouldn't have assumed," the doctor relents, looking over Keith's paperwork again. "Regardless, it appears that you and your partner were compatible. What was their ethnicity?"

Keith hesitates, and Acxa turns to him. "Would you prefer I go outside for this?"

He nods his head slowly, and she takes his hand, squeezing tightly before leaving the room. When she's gone, the doctor waits patiently for his answer.

"He's an Earthling," he sighs.

The doctor gives him a knowing, but not unkind, look. "Starting to click, hm?"

Keith and Acxa leave the clinic with a handful of pamphlets on Galra secondary sexes (as if that would do shit for him now), family planning options, and Galra pregnancies.

He stops and stares at the one pamphlet he's been given about an option to terminate. Keith drops it back into the pile left on the secretary's desk. 

Acxa takes him home, an apartment on Daibazaal the size of a shoebox that he hardly uses. He calls his mom and then Shiro. They're the only two Keith trusts with the news. He also yells at his mother for the severe lack of Galra Birds and the Bees talk.

"Galra have secondary sexes?!"

"I didn't think you would be affected. You're the first half-Galra Earthling and never shown any signs of having a secondary sex. How could we have known?"

"Well," Keith sighs into the receiver, hand resting on his stomach, which is still taut with muscle. "I guess we know now."

A week later, he steps out of his ship on the McClain Ranch wearing an oversized Galaxy Garrison hoodie he stole from Shiro the last time he went to visit. As said in the pamphlet, Galra pregnancies had shorter gestation periods, so his body was already beginning to soften.

When he knocks on Lance's family's front door, it's his brother Marco who answers. His sandy hair is somehow even saggier around his blue eyes. The same eyes Lance has.

He wonders what the likelihood is of those eyes being passed down to their child.

"Hey, Keith!" he smiles kindly. "What brings you here?"

"Is Lance home?" 

Marco's face falls with a sigh. "Yeah, I was afraid you'd ask that."

He brings him back to the juniberry garden. Keith has never been before, but he knew that after the war, Colleen Holt had given the McClain Ranch sample seeds to test how compatible it could be with Earth's ecosystem.

It looks like Lance was naturally gifted in making Alien and Earth biology work. 

"Listen, he hasn't really been the same since that dinner," Marco admits, rubbing the back of his neck. "We thought he was getting better, you know? Moving on and all that. But then the lions left, and his marks started acting up again..."

Keith swallows hard, shoving his hands in his pockets. The other man shrugs. "He really can't seem to let go of the past."

"Must be hard when you surround yourself with it," Keith replies, and Marco groans.

"On the one hand, those flowers are trendy. We always sell out during the farmer's market and don't even get me started on Valentine's Day or Mother's Day. On the other hand," he motions to his brother before turning around on his heel. "Anyway, just figured I'd give you the skinny. Try not to be too tough on him if he doesn't seem like himself."

Keith nods, and Marco pats him on the shoulder, good-naturedly before heading back into the house. Lance doesn't spot Keith first, and he's thankful for that since it gives him time to look at him — really look at him.

Somehow he's even thinner than Keith remembers. On Altea, he was able to feel more bone than muscle beneath his skin, and it frightened him. Arms deep in dirt, Lance's blue eyes are dark and sunken as they stare at pink petals. His cheeks so gaunt his marks are barely visible, his hair frizzed, and he's clad in an old t-shirt that rides up to show his midriff and too-loose sleeves.

"Working hard or hardly working?"

At Keith's call, Lance falls forward, catching himself against the dirt before he looks up and spots him. He seems dazed and strung out. 

"Keith?" Lance's voice sounds like a breath, as he stands on shaky legs from this work and rests his rake against the tree. 

A sense of déjà vu sweeps over him, as the ghosts of their past parades around and within him. The marks, the flowers, the grief — Allura still haunts his bones like a sneaky reminder of all the nights he spent with her and not with him. Even years later, this plot of dirt he's claimed on Earth is more a prison than a paradise.

Lance climbs to where Keith is standing, struggling to keep breathing when his entire body sags with exhaustion and numbed agony. It's somehow worse up close. His once radiant skin is sandpaper dry, and hiding beneath his rolled-up sleeves Keith spots hints of bruises and cuts. When Lance extends his arm, on the soft skin inside his elbow peeks the hint of a different mark. Keith looks away instantly, already trying to forget what he just saw.

He gives Keith an awkward hug before looking at his top. "Huh, don't think I've ever seen you in a hoodie before."

"I'm not used to Earth's cooler temperatures."

"Okay."

Is he even going to acknowledge what they did? Or is he going to pretend that they're just friends? Keith feels the uneasy queasiness of anger rise within him. Frustration stemming from having to bear witness to Lance's backsliding. Once again, Lance surrounded himself with relics from his past when the future was right in front of him.

A future they both created.

All it takes is that short conversation and to hear how many times Lance mentions Allura and the way his eyes cloud at her memory for Keith to know this isn't something Lance is remotely ready for — or even wants at all.

Perhaps there is a way Keith can help Lance rediscover who he is, the person that is purely himself and not the grieving widow of a princess who he dated for a little over a month. But that's not Keith's concern anymore, even if he loves him and wants so badly for him to realize his self-worth. 

Lance asks Keith to stay for dinner, and it takes every ounce of willpower he has to say no because he knows if he stays for one night, he'll stay forever. He'll stay on this farm full of bad memories, and he'll bleed himself dry trying to fix Lance while also having their child.

He can't do both. 

Because Keith has someone else to worry about now.

Someone who can be the best parts of both of them.

He holds Lance close to him when he says goodbye and presses a soft kiss against his temple. In his hold, he feels Lance's teeth clench at the contact as if he's fighting to hold his tongue. Keith gives him only a moment to reconsider, but when Lance remains silent that's all the answer he needs.

"Bye, Lance."

Keith turns to walk around the house to where he parked his cruiser, moving onwards.


	2. Heart of Glass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith's hands shake as a sweat breaks on the back of his neck, and his mind is nearly unable to comprehend the figure of the man who was standing before him, dressed in a full Garrison uniform, and sparkling blue eyes that matched the ones of his daughter.
> 
> Their daughter.
> 
> “Hey, Keith,” Lance McClain greets with a familiar crooked smile. “It’s been a minute.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like Dad Keith because he's here, queer and needing some cheer.

**Three Years Later**

“ _We don't need a new world order. We don't need one inter-galactic government. We shouldn't be ’shooting for the stars’ until our home-world is healed.”_

The comms around Keith's ship ring with the tinny noise of the conference call he's on. The planet of Luxuria suffered significant flooding and environmental damage from the latest season of solar winds that struck the magnetosphere directly outside the small planet's orbit. Thus, putting their entire agriculture system in jeopardy.

Luxuria, however, isn't a planet that is part of the Galaxy Alliance, which means for them to receive support from anyone (like, say, a humanitarian relief organization that was once an underground resistance group of space ninjas) requires hours of diplomatic negotiations with their king and his senior advisor.

In this case, both of the Senate representatives from Daibazaal, while Keith's cruiser waits for approval to dock with his team to assist. One of whom is his mother.

 _“That’s all well and good, King Kuunia,”_ Krolia’s voice fills the comms. _“But your people are still without food or water.”_

" _As my advisor has mentioned, it's still unclear to me how joining your so-called Alliance does anything other than add the complexity of competing priorities across_ _several other planets."_

Luckily, he's audio-only and on mute, so none of the attendees can see or hear that he's stacking pencils to see how high he can make the tower. Ezor and Acxa are sitting on either side of him, handing him pencils as gently as possible while Zethrid sits behind Ezor.

“That’s definitely too many,” Zethrid says, leaning over to where Keith is slowly hovering the pencil to the top of the makeshift tower. This one goes halfway up his chest, the tallest yet, and he’s sort of proud of it.

“Shut up and trust me,” he says as Krolia and the Luxuria's king continue to argue over semantics. “I got this.”

He places the pencil with a steady hand, and Keith is slowly moving back his hand as Acxa, Ezor, and Zethrid all hold their breath. 

“Daddy?”

Keith jumps at the sound, sending the tower of pencils crashing to the floor. Acxa and Ezor groan in disappointment as Zethrid bursts into laughter. With a sigh, Keith looks over to the owner of the tiny voice, his three-year-old daughter Azure.

She’s small, as every Galra and human in his life will remind him as if he hasn’t been fretting over her health her entire life. However, the full-time physician for the Blade of Marmora, Dr. Kor, assures him that Azure is perfectly healthy even if she’s petite. Space doesn’t have pediatricians like Earth, but Keith has trusted Dr. Kor since she first informed him of his condition. Besides, Keith has always been the smallest of his crew, so it’s no surprise his daughter is as well.

Aside from her size, she’s inherited Keith’s mop of dark hair and large eyes. Her pupils, though, are as blue as Earth’s sky. Lance’s eyes. When she was first born, Keith worried that her eyes would darken over time, but they remained as bright as the ones he remembered. Her skin’s complexion is darker than Keith’s, definitely taken one of many of the traits from Lance’s side. Including her fingers, which Shiro has mentioned on more than one occasion, would make her an excellent piano player. Keith has stubby hands, only suitable for fighting. He remembers Lance’s hands and how they could make music out of anything.

Keith sees so much of himself in his daughter, most of which is that she’s absolutely fearless, and that scares the shit out of him. She’ll try any game, any food, and ask any question. Living on the ship, she’s seen creatures of all different sizes, shapes, and breeds. Some of which even give Keith the creeps, but Azure doesn’t care. She’ll lean over from his arms, and introduce herself. She likes making friends. It forces Keith to make more friends too.

Azure never cries. Even when she was a baby, she would only cry if she was desperately hurting or lonely. Once, when she was a little older, she fell down a flight of stairs and cut her forehead. It wasn’t bad, but it was her first time needing stitches. Keith sat with her and held her tiny hand in his, as Dr. Kor fixed her up.

“It’s okay, baby,” Keith had soothed, trying to hide his worry from his voice. “You can cry and still be brave.”

Azure kept her eyes shut, her mouth in a thin line. “I won’t cry for Daddy.”

“Would you cry for Papa?” he asked, and Azure didn’t reply. 

She’s stubborn as hell, but she gets from both of them. 

Azure _hates_ not knowing things and will badger anyone around the ship with questions until someone breaks. Kolivan jokes she would make an excellent interrogator, but Keith would rather cut off his own arm than have his daughter ever need to fight a war. It’s why he still leads the Blade’s humanitarian efforts, even if he fears he's doing Azure a disservice by not having her grow up with other kids.

He thinks about his dad a lot. Being a single parent to a weird alien kid who you love more than yourself isn’t easy. Keith, at least, has his mother, Shiro, and his crew. Still, part of him wishes he could ask his dad if he ever felt as clueless as Keith does some nights. Deep down, he thinks he knows the answer.

“Way to go, Azure!” Zethrid cheers, giving the girl a high five that she hits with a tiny brown hand. It looks comically small compared to the Galra General. “You won the game!”

She gasps, eyes wide, as she turns to Keith. “I did?”

Keith huffs, gathering the girl in his arms tightly, as she settled into his lap on the pilot seat.

“You did, sweetheart. Now Auntie Zethrid and Auntie Ezor need to clean up _all_ the pencils.”

Ezor and Zethrid send him a glare that could freeze vodka, but he knows they’d never say anything cruel while his daughter is around. He gives them a big, mean toothy grin. They pick up the mess as Keith leans back so Azure can tilt her head back into his chest. 

“Clean up time,” Azure sings, swinging her tiny feet in the seat.

Her hair has fallen out of the pink elastic he tied for her that morning, sending dark curls over her forehead and framing her bright blue eyes. Keith takes the locks into his hands, threading fingers through to redo her hair in a simple braid as they wait for their clearance. That and ponytails are the extent of his hairstyling techniques, but Azure never seems to mind.

In his lap, chubby brown arms hold the stuffed yalmor doll Coran had gifted her months ago. Its name is Captain Taki, after her uncle. It’s a constant with her around their ship, becoming the most germ-infested creature he’s ever seen. He had to sneak into her bedroom while she was sleeping to clean the nasty thing and replace it before she woke up the next morning. She noticed immediately and refused to talk to him for an entire morning.

Ezor playfully pokes Azure’s leg with the eraser of one of the fallen pencils, and her slightly upturned nose scrunches. It’s the same face Lance used to make whenever Keith would pick a fight with him. It still floors him that Azure has picked up traits from a parent she’s never met. 

It was no secret that Lance had pulled away from everyone since the night the lions left, and Keith hasn’t spoken to him since he went to the McClain ranch. Even Allura Day, one of the few days a year when everyone makes the time to get together and have dinner, Lance has been absent. 

This year's celebration is right around the corner, but Keith won't waste his time asking if Lance would be there. 

Azure’s quick as a whip and every day asks Keith questions that he knows are leading up to the inevitable ones about why she hasn't met her Papa.

It’s been three years of avoiding the topic, but even Keith doesn’t have the heart not to tell his daughter where she comes from. He knows what it’s like to grow up with a parent missing, having questions about where you’re from, and wondering if they ever loved you.

Although Lance has taken a different path than the rest of the paladins, Keith tells their daughter everything about him. How they saved her uncle Shiro from the Garrison hospital, unlocked the mysteries of the Blue Lion, went to space, and traveled the galaxy together. Azure knows he lives on Earth and that he loves her very much.

And the thing is, Keith knows Lance would love Azure. He’d love her so fiercely and wholly, like a supernova, because that’s how Lance has always loved.

It’s why his relationship with Allura, although short, impacted him so much. He loves with his entire being. 

Keith told Azure about Allura too — her magic, her compassion, her power, and how she saved the universe. It’s become her favorite bedtime story, and every so often, they’ll pass a cluster of stars, and Keith will feel Azure pull on his sleeve in his arms, pointing out the window and whisper, “It’s Auntie Allura!”

It’s easy now, but he knows that soon it won’t be. 

“Blade of Marmora,” comes Krolia’s voice again through the comms, pulling Keith back to work at hand. “You are cleared to enter.”

Keith turns on his monitor and unmutes the call. “Roger. Cruiser BOM 2690 coming in for a landing.”

“Lala!” Azure waves from her seat and Keith winces. _Lala_ was what Azure called Krolia because there’s no Galra word for Grandmother (Galra hadn’t lived long enough to see their grandchildren since before the war.) _Krolia_ is too much of a mouthful for a toddler, so Lala it is. 

“Hello cub,” she says, eyes and voice both soft before hardening as she turns to her son. “Keith, report back once you land.”

“Got it.”

“And next time, let me know if you need a sitter,” she adds, and Keith hears Zethrid and Ezor snickering. Keith grunts, finger hovering on the button to end her feed. It was a simple rations mission on a peaceful planet, and it wasn’t as if given the opportunity when he was a child, Krolia wouldn’t have strapped Keith to her chest and brought him to space if she could.

“Bye-bye, Lala," Keith groans, hanging up the call. In a few ticks, his mother will hail him on a private video to chew him out, but nothing would come from it. She won't issue any real punishment on his fleet, knowing full well it meant she wouldn't see her granddaughter. 

As skilled as Krolia is in intergalactic negotiations, in the end, Keith has the ultimate bargaining chip sitting happily in his lap.

* * *

They’ve just wrapped up the mission and returned to the cruiser when Shiro called.

“Hey, Old Timer,” Keith greets, accepting the holo-video from the Garrison's central command. “Have you started getting AARP benefits yet?”

“Depends, are you working out your Dad Bod yet?” Shiro flings back, and Keith snorts. 

One of the things he’s learned since having Azure is that Galra metabolisms are designed to shed weight and build muscle. However, he’s since cut the number of hours spent on the training deck to instead play with Azure. He can live with having a six-pack versus an eight-pack if it means spending more time with his daughter.

There are only two people in the entire galaxy who know that Lance McClain is Azure’s father, and that’s Krolia and Shiro.

Keith needed people to know in case something ever happened to him during a mission. The last thing he'd ever want would be to send Azure on the same spiraling journey of self-discovery he had to endure.

Shiro is Azure’s godfather, and on the ship, Acxa's been her defacto godmother from the second she was born. Keith has a hunch that Acxa has an inkling about Lance, most likely because Azure has the same blue eyes that Veronica shares with her brother. Nevertheless, she’ll never pry. Acxa is a steel trap. It's one of the many reasons why Keith trusts her as his number two with the Blade of Marmora.

“How’s Azure?” Shiro asks as Keith takes a seat at the console, pulling up paperwork to half-read while on the call.

“Good, she just went to bed for the night,” he hums, scrolling through the pages. “She was very excited about meeting the Luxurians."

“Why?”

“They’re sort of a mix between colorful birds and centaurs,” Keith shrugs, leaning back. “She’s in a weird animal phase.”

“Well, Allura Day is in a few months. Maybe Coran can bring her to the Altean Zoo?” Shiro offers with an optimistic smile. “Is she excited about her first visit?”

Keith brings his thumb to his mouth, chewing nervously on a hangnail. “Sure.”

Shiro picks up on it instantly, mood darkening. “Do you want to know if he’s coming?”

“If it’s like any other year, he probably won't,” Keith says, pretending to read the rest of the document. He’s read the same line three times now. “It’s fine. He’s busy doing his own thing.”

His brother grows quiet, and Keith knows what he’s going to say before he says it.

“Shiro, don’t,” he warns, and Shiro raises his mechanical hand, swatting in in the air like a makeshift white flag of surrender.

“I wasn’t going to, _but_...”

“But?”

“He can't know what he doesn’t know, Keith," Shiro says, voice soft over the comms, so it doesn’t carry across the ship. “If you reached out and maybe made time he could—”

“Is this why you called?” Keith interrupts. They’ve been having some version of this same argument for three years now, and frankly, Keith is sick of it. Communication goes both ways. If Lance wanted to talk to Keith so badly, he can pick up the phone and call anytime. He could ask how he’s doing. 

He could get off that goddamn farm.

“No,” Shiro huffs, giving up. “I’m heading over to Daibazaal for a work trip. I wanted to know if I could stop by the cruiser for dinner afterward? I'd love to see you both.”

Keith feels his entire body soften as if he could ever say no to Shiro. “Of course. Azure will be bouncing off the walls when I tell her.”

“Great! I’ll be meeting up with colleagues while I'm out there. You remember Curtis, right?”

Keith raises an eyebrow. “Uh-huh. Isn’t he the one who you drunkenly said was cute the last time we spoke?”

Shiro blushes. “Me? I d-don’t know, doesn’t sound familiar...”

“Sure it doesn't,” he chuckles, leaning back in his seat.

“I'll send you the details shortly,” Shiro changes the subject quickly, probably for self-preservation. He prepares to sign off. “Send Azure my love!”

“Send Curtis mine!”

“HEY!”

Keith ends the call and laughs to himself at the console.

Shiro means well, his heart is always in the right place, and Keith is lucky to have him. 

* * *

Shiro is the fucking worst person in the universe, and Keith should’ve killed him when he had the chance.

His first hint that this was not going to be a typical visit was when Keith noticed there were two people in Shiro's craft requesting access. When Shiro had landed, he only claimed himself. Keith assumed maybe that Curtis guy was busy or something.

In his arms, Azure whispers too loudly to be a whisper and points to the screen. “Who’s that?”

“Unsure,” he says, tapping on the screen to note if there’s any suspicious activity from the hanger. It’s not like Shiro to bring unannounced guests, but the reading from downstairs doesn't seem to indicate that the passenger is anyone dangerous. 

“Daddy?”

Keith turns to look at Azure. Her nose scrunches, and her blue eyes are fierce. She’s always attuned to Keith’s emotions, even though he tries to downplay them. 

She places a small hand on the scar on his cheek in an attempt to comfort him. “Don’t be scared of strangers, Daddy. I’m here.”

He can’t hide the smile that spreads across his face, and he takes her hand and kisses her tiny fingers, still sticky from the fruit salad they had for breakfast. “Thank you, baby.”

“Brave together?” she asks and holds out her tiny pinky towards him. Keith hooks around it with his own.

“Brave together,” he repeats and places a kiss against her temple. “It’s probably a friend of Uncle Taki’s, anyway.”

Even when he was leading Voltron, he’s never been so concerned about keeping the people around him calm. The last thing he wants is Azure to ever feel unsafe around the ship. It’s the only home she's ever known.

When he gets to the hangar to greet Shiro, Azure bounces excitedly on his hip when she spots Shiro coming up the hangar with two junior Blade members by his side. She squirms like a worm with outstretched grabby hands.

“Uncle Taki!” 

“Azzy!” Shiro calls, jogging up the hallway and grabbing her from Keith’s arms. 

His second hint is how smoothly Shiro takes Azure from Keith’s arms, knowing full-well the hell he’s about to unleash. Azure laughs as Shiro spins her around before hugging her tightly. He presses a loud smooch to her cheek, blowing a raspberry against her face. 

“Ahhh!” she squeals, trying to pull away. “Nooo, Uncle Taki!”

Shiro feigns innocence. “What? That’s how they say hello in Garfle Warfle.”

“No, they don’t,” Azure laughs, shaking her head.

“Yes, they do!” Shiro argues with an exaggerated stubbornness. He plants another raspberry on her cheek, and she squeals in laughter.

“Daddy, save me!”

Keith is about to intervene when the second visitor walks through the doorway. Instantly, his heart drops to his feet and then bounces straight up into his throat. His hands shake as a sweat breaks on the back of his neck, and his mind is nearly unable to comprehend the figure of the man who was standing before him, dressed in a full Garrison uniform, and sparkling blue eyes that matched the ones of his daughter.

Their daughter.

“Hey, Keith,” Lance McClain greets with a familiar crooked smile. “It’s been a minute.”

Rational thought flees Keith's mind as if someone took a blaster to his temple and blew his brains out his ears. Lance is _here_ , and he looks so familiar but so different. It's been years since he was the lanky teen who wore his uniforms like a beanpole wears a tablecloth. Lance has since filled out with lean muscle while broad shoulders and long legs hold him straight with easy, quiet confidence. The marks beneath his eyes remain, but his cheeks are no longer too gaunt, or his jaw too sharp for his face. Even though Keith still thinks skincare products are a scam, he can't deny Lance's lustrous glow under the typically unflattering lighting of his ship. It's only been three years since he saw Lance last, but time's still aged him like fine wine or a good pair of jeans. His heart thumps in his ears.

And Keith fights every instinct that’s screaming at him to get the _hell_ out of there. He gawks at Lance, not knowing if he wants to kill him where he stands or grab him by those short-brown locks and kiss him senseless. However, Keithwould _definitely_ throw a punch at Shiro if he weren’t currently holding his daughter like a human shield. 

Instead, all Keith can do is swallow back a lump in his throat. “Lance…”

That’s the only thing he manages before Azure hears the name and turns herself in Shiro’s arms. “Papa?”

It breaks Keith from his trance. “Azure, no!”

Shiro freezes and Azure escapes his hold and sprints across the hangar. Keith’s dad-brain kicks in as he chases after her. But she’s so tiny and fast; she’s like a cheetah. “ _Stop, Azure!_ ”

She ignores him, her tiny feet pounding against the floor, taking her as fast as they can go. “Papa! Papa!”

There’s no way Lance could know, but he assumes that he’s been around enough children in his life to go on autopilot when one is hurling herself at him. She throws herself into his embrace, and he holds onto her tightly. Her tiny arms wrap around his neck, and she’s _so happy_ that Keith feels a part of himself die.

Lance is gobsmacked, pulling back slightly to look the toddler in his arms and sees her smiling up at him like he'd hung the moon. His eyes scan her like a sentry. As if his mind is a computer, and he’s trying to collect data on this child he's never met. Then his eyes meet hers and find their match. 

A sob escapes his throat, and Keith watches in horror as so many emotions flash across Lance’s face. Tears swell in Lance’s eyes, and he takes Azure back into his arms, hugging her tightly against him, cradling his hand against the back of her tiny head. Over her shoulder, he meets Keith’s gaze.

It’s the ultimate look of betrayal.

  
  


* * *

“I can’t believe you.”

Keith sits across from him in a chair, elbows resting on the table, his head in his hands.

They've have been locked inside a meeting room in the belly of his ship for the last varga. Azure is upstairs with Shiro, most likely throwing an absolute fit at being separated from her parents. Keith refuses to feel even remotely bad for Shiro, but his heart breaks for his daughter.

She didn’t deserve to find out like this. Neither did Lance. Keith thought he could have a plan or at least the time to come up with one. He was always going to reunite them, but not when she was fucking three-years-old. She’s too young to understand why Lance wasn’t here with them.

Keith’s nearly thirty-years-old, and he still can’t understand it.

“I don’t know what else you need me to say, Lance,” Keith says, finally. “I did what I thought was best for my daughter.”

“ _Our_ daughter,” Lance cries, his face blotchy but still stupidly handsome. He hasn’t stopped crying since the hangar and Keith wonders if he should offer the man some water to rehydrate. “I deserved to know I had a child, Keith. She’s just as mine as she is yours.”

“You weren’t ready.”

“That wasn’t your choice to make!”

“It is when I was the one who had to carry her,” Keith hisses, glaring across the table at Lance. He will not cry. He will not let Lance ever know that he’s made him cry more than any other person in Keith's life. “You left me alone on Altea. What would make me think you wouldn’t leave us the moment things got hard?”

“That isn't remotely the same. I left because I was scared I messed things up with us. I told you that I’m sorry, Keith. How many times do I need to say that?"

“Until you mean it,” he grits, banging his fists on the table. Before he can stop himself, he swings the lowest blow he has. “I loved you so much for so long, and to you, I was a rebound. A replacement."

"That's not true!"

"You never wanted this with me, Lance," Keith continues, motioning around them but clear that he means Azure. A family. "You wanted it with her.”

“Stop assuming how I feel! You're wrong!” Lance fights, leaning over the table. "We were different, Keith. You gotta see that. I never did those things with Allura."

Keith takes a deep breath. The only reason Lance didn't was because they never had the time. If Allura had survived, there's no doubt in Keith's mind Lance would've been on the next ship to Altea with her. Not getting the opportunity is not the same as not wanting it.

"I couldn't be vulnerable with her and I never slept with her. I did those things with you because I love _you_ , Keith," Lance insists, voice cracking as he chokes around the words. "I’ve never stopped loving you, and I don't think it's possible to stop loving you.”

The confession takes the air right out of Keith's lungs, leaving him stunned and breathless. It’s infuriating how much impact Lance still has on him after all these years. Keith can vividly remember wanting so badly to hear these sweet words from Lance. During their long journey back to Earth, or risking their lives to defeat Honerva’s Robeasts, or even sitting beside him on the ATLAS helplessly watching as he fretted over his relationship with Allura. Why is he saying this now? They aren't here because of love.

They're here because of a one-night stand and Lance’s sharpshooter reputation extending outside of just his marksmanship. It was lust and Keith settling for a taste of what could’ve been. If it were love, Lance wouldn't have left him the next morning. Lance wouldn't have fallen off the face of the galaxy for three years. Instead, Lance would be here with him right now raising their daughter together. 

If this is what being loved by Lance McClain feels like, why does it hurt so much? What atrocities has Keith committed to deserve such cruel and unusual punishment?

“That's why I joined Shiro on this mission, on the off chance that you still loved me too. Or at the very least attempt to apologize,” Lance urges, his voice growing more hoarse. “I knew you wouldn't speak to me unless I cornered you because you're still the most stubborn guy I've ever met in my goddamn life."

"Not as stubborn as the guy who can't pick up a phone once in three years."

Lance's eyes filled with fresh tears. “I wanted us to have a shot. You didn’t believe in me enough to give me a chance.” 

“I’ve always believed in you, Lance,” Keith says, his shoulders slumping as he lets his final secret out. “I went to Earth to tell you. Remember my last visit?”

“When you wore that hoodie?”

Keith has to fight the urge to laugh. That’s so Lance to remember him wearing a hoodie instead of wondering why he was wearing it in the first place. “You looked right through me like I wasn’t in front of you. I don’t know where you went, but it was somewhere I couldn’t follow. It was clear to me that you couldn’t take care of yourself, and I couldn’t risk overloading you with a baby.”

Lance runs his hands over his face again. It’s that part of an argument where they’re just circling the same points over and _over_ again. They’re both so exhausted. 

“You’re right. I was messed up back then,” Lance concedes. “I needed to do a lot of work to get back to a place where I recognized myself. Therapy, meds, a steady support system.”

“It’s a relief to hear you say that,” Keith says, and he means it. “All any of us ever wanted was for you to be okay.”

“At the time, I did it for me. Or the notion that one day we could...anyway. But I know I would’ve done better for her, too.” Lance sighs, looking back up at Keith with red-rimmed eyes that make his burn. “That’s what kids do, right? They make us want to be better for them.”

Keith swallows hard and nods. “They do.”

“She knows who I am?”

The question is borderline insulting, but Keith knows it’s coming from a place of hurt. “Of course she does. Your name isn’t some kind of four-letter word.”

Lance smirks. “Actually, my name is five letters.”

“You’re still so annoying,” Keith chuckles, shaking his head. “I know what it’s like to grow up missing a parent. I never wanted Azure to feel that way.”

“Thank you.”

Keith leans over the table and extends his hand out for Lance. The other man hesitates for a moment, but eventually takes hold of Keith’s hand. It’s rough with callus, most likely from years of farm work. Their fingers try to slot together, but they don't quite fit. “I’m sorry you had to find out like this, I wish it could’ve been easier.”

“I wish I wasn’t such a fuck up.”

Keith shakes his head, but he’s too tired to have this conversation again. There’s only so many times in his life he can tell Lance he’s worthy of happiness. It’s not his job to take care of him anymore. 

“Look, maybe it’s too late for us, but it’s not too late for Azure,” Keith assures, pulling his hand away and leaning back in his chair. “You should take her to Earth.”

Lance’s face twists as if Keith just asked him an impossible task, like breathing underwater. “Are you serious? I’ve only known of her existence for two hours.”

“Which means you have a lot of catching up to do,” Keith stands from the table, signaling the end of the conversation. “Krolia and Kolivan have a diplomacy meeting with the leaders of Luxuria this week. They still need my team to provide support after the planet’s latest floods, but also for talks about recruiting them into the Alliance. Usually, I'd ask Shiro to stay on the ship and watch Azure, but it’s going to be all hands on deck, and she’s a nightmare when left with a sitter.”

“Keith, I live in a one-bedroom apartment on the grounds of the Garrison,” Lance argues, scrambling to follow him out the room and down the hall towards the bridge.

“And I live on a Galra cruiser that travels through space and wormholes between planets,” he counters, glancing over his shoulder. “She’s a toddler, Lance. It’s not like she’s expecting the Ritz. Her favorite food is chicken nuggets with ketchup.”

The nervousness that flashes across his face makes Keith more irritated than anything else. Part of him wants to pull the offer entirely, but deep down, he knows it’s the right thing. Azure deserves to know who both her fathers are, and even if the last few years have been rocky, Keith still trusts Lance implicitly. 

“God, I don’t even know her favorite food,” Lance groans. Keith can tell he’s about to spiral again and stops walking. The sudden stop almost makes Lance trip, but Keith’s patience is running too thin to care.

“Can you do this or not?” Keith demands, and he isn’t just talking about Azure spending a week with him. He’s talking about Lance showing up. Lance being present. Lance being a parent.

This moment is the fork in the road for them. Either Lance steps up, or he steps down. A dark, naggy voice in the back of Keith mind hisses that Lance is going to leave him behind again. Keith wills it off. Lance may have left Keith, but he can do better with Azure. He has to.

“Yeah,” Lance finally says, nodding his head so fast it gives Keith whiplash. “Yes, I’ll take her. Of course, she’s my kid."

"Then it's settled."

"Has she...um...ever been to Earth before?”

“No, it’ll be her first trip,” Keith replies, and then it starts to sink in that it’ll also be Azure’s first time staying somewhere for multiple days that isn’t the ship. Even when staying with Krolia, it’s never been for more than a night. Keith forces down the queasy sense of parental nervousness. “I'll let her know and pack a bag for her.”

“Uh, okay. Cool.” 

“You can leave tonight with Shiro.”

“Sounds good.”

“Great,” Keith says, and it becomes painfully clear there’s nothing else left for either of them to say. The awkwardness is overwhelming. “I gotta get to the bridge.”

“Right, yeah,” Lance gives him a have-hearted salute, remaining still in the hallway as the blue crescent marks under his eyes reflect against the lights of the ship. Keith hates how cute they make him look, but is thankful Azure didn’t inherit them. Are they even inheritable? How much did Allura change him? “I’ll see you later?"

Keith nods and turns on his heel, power walking down the hall. When he turns into the bridge, he’s the only one there because there’s no reason for anyone to be at their stations. They’re floating above Daibazaal’s central command, and most of the crew has gone on-planet to visit friends and family.

Leaning against the cold metal of the door, Keith presses his hand on the security lock. It recognizes him as its captain and locks the door with an audible click. 

His back slides down the door, and he collapses on the floor. A familiar heat burns behind his eyes as the tears he refused to shed in front of Lance finally break through. He can’t tell if these are tears of anger or sadness, and frankly, it doesn’t matter. 

After so many years, the pain bleeds together in his broken heart. It seeps through every crack like hot lava, burning him with each memory. Every time he’s opened himself to Lance, only to have the other man shut him out or reject him. Now he’s trusting him with their daughter's heart, and Keith can’t protect her anymore. 

He can’t protect himself anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plot! She's thickening!
> 
> Remember to leave me kudos and comments. Positive re-enforcement works wonders for me.
> 
> Next chapter - Lance has thoughts and feelings!
> 
> Follow me on Twitter: @Astro_Latte and Tumblr: astrolatte.tumblr.com


	3. Where Do Broken Hearts Go?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What’re these?” Azure asks, and he's torn from his thoughts when he feels two tiny hands cup the sides of his face, followed by the small tickle of thumbs sliding across his marks. Lance swallows nervously. Somehow Azure managed to strike critical hits on two of his most sensitive topics. Not even his therapist was this blunt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, the biggest kudos to my beta VioletFoxTales. Couldn't do this without ya, buddy!
> 
> There's a wink/nod to the fic "you're always welcome here" by Silverine. She's one of my FAVS and you should read all her stuff.
> 
> Enjoy!

Lance wants a drink.

He knows he doesn’t — not really — but for so long it had felt like an easier answer than facing things head-on. It was another mask to hide behind or a wall of protection. In the end, it wasn’t an answer so much as it was an excuse. It doesn’t matter what his brain tells him he wants, he’s stubborn enough to know why he doesn’t need it.

He reaches into his uniform pocket, pulling out a piece of sweet strawberry chewing gum. Its tartness is enough to satisfy the inch under his skin. The challenges he faces don't change, but he's going to meet them head-on and completely sober no matter what.

Lance stands next to Shiro in the loading bay, nervously fidgeting with the gum wrapper as they wait for Keith to come down with Azure. 

Dinner was unpleasant. After telling Lance everything about their daughter — _his daughter_ — Keith informed Azure she’d be staying with him for the next week. Lance assumed the girl would freak out, obviously not wanting to spend a whole week with a man who’s practically a stranger. She didn’t know Lance from a hole in the wall. 

He greatly underestimated her reaction.

Instead, Azure’s face lit up like a Christmas tree and she attached herself to Lance’s leg for the rest of the night. No matter what Keith or Shiro would ask her, she ignored them entirely to sit with Lance and asked no less than a hundred questions per minute. Seeing his own eyes stare up at him twisted something deep inside Lance’s heart. It didn’t feel real.

“What’s Earth like?” Azure asked, sitting on Lance’s lap as Acxa set the table for dinner. 

In his peripheral, he watched Acxa place a bottle of unknown liquid on the table before turning back to the kitchen to help Ezor. There was a universal translator in Lance’s ear, but it didn’t help in reading alien languages on labels. When offered a glass of it by Zethrid, Lance declined and stuck with water. He overheard Shiro politely doing the same.

“Well, it’s summertime now so it’s a little hot,” he answered after taking the longest drink of water in his life. When she tilted her head to the side he clarified. “That’s a season. Earth has four seasons with different weather.”

Her eyes went as wide as saucers, her mind was thoroughly blown by the revelation. When Keith had come back and ordered Azure to sit in the seat next to him, the toddler refused.

“I wanna sit with Papa,” she demanded, her tiny brows furrowing with a slight pout. It strikes him like a whip how well he knew that face. She was a mini-Keith.

The real Keith shook his head, pointing to the seat next to him across the table. “Sweetheart, this is your seat. Come here.”

“No!” 

“ _Azure_.”

Keith looked ready to argue, obviously already stressed from the day’s events. Still, Lance couldn’t help but interrupt because he knows what it’s like to be on the receiving end of Keith’s frayed patience. Also, he’s wise enough to recognize he’s responsible for his sour mood.

Lance gave him a shaky smile. “She can sit with me, Keith. It’s alright.”

When Lance placed her in the seat beside him, Azure beamed up at him as if he had done something far more heroic than just giving her the chair next to him. The labeled bottle passed between Acxa, Ezor, and Zethrid ended up being wine. The vinegar smell soured Lance’s stomach. The rest of the dinner, Keith remained uncomfortably silent while Shiro attempted to hold a polite conversation with Ezor and Zethrid. 

“What are you feeling, Lance?” Shiro asks, ripping him from his thoughts and bringing him back to the present. “I mean, aside from the obvious.”

Lance shrugs in response. He still doesn’t know how to put into words how he’s feeling. 

On one hand, he’s the most furious he’s ever been in his life. He had a child out in the universe that Keith kept from him for _years_.

Family is a cornerstone of Lance’s existence, and he always knew he wanted a future with children. Lots of children. He’s pretty sure Keith knew too, but it didn’t matter. Not to mention Shiro, who’s known about Azure and only now decided it was fair for Lance to meet his own daughter. Keith assured Lance only Shiro and Krolia knew he was the father, but that just makes him feel worse. How many people had gotten to meet Azure before him? 

But on the other hand, he can’t stay mad at Keith. It’s not as if he had known it was even possible for the two of them to conceive, and it was Lance who left him behind on Altea. If the roles were reversed, knowing just how bad things had gotten for him, Lance probably would’ve done the same thing. Hell, he wouldn’t have even gone to Earth that final time. He would have just kept living life and never told Azure about her no-good deadbeat dad who was so broken after the war he couldn’t be bothered to know she existed. 

Above all, Lance has absolutely no clue what to do with this kid for a week on the Garrison grounds. Maybe he could show her some of Pidge’s robots, but would that be too intense for her? Did they watch movies on the ship? Knowing Keith’s complete lack of pop culture knowledge, probably not. That could be something Lance can share with Azure.

Lance doesn’t have a lot of time to overthink it as the doors to the hangar slide open and Azure zooms out like lightning toward him. Her little pink jacket flutters with the momentum. Already adapting, Lance kneels down and lets her fly into his arms. Luckily, she’s light and Lance lifts her easily and balances her on his hip. He notices her backpack in the shape of some cutesy alien jingles with whatever possessions seem most important to a three-year-old girl.

“Anything for me in the bag?" Lance smiles, hoping he doesn't seem nervous, and tilting his head at her backpack. Azure shakes her head.

“Secret,” she says in a whisper. 

Behind her, Keith and Acxa make their way toward them. He’s holding a duffle bag of what’s probably Azure’s more important things, like clothes and toiletries. In his other hand, he carries a stuffed yalmor that looks like it’s seen better days.

“Azure, you left Captain Taki behind,” Keith says softly, holding up the toy. “Do you want to put him in your backpack?”

She eyes the toy for a long moment before shaking her head and digging her face into Lance’s shoulder. Lance doesn’t know what to do, feeling caught between the two of them. 

Azure pushes backward and Lance takes it as a sign she wants to be put down. Obeying, he watches as she runs to Shiro the second her feet hit the floor. Next to him, Keith sighs loudly.

“I’ll put it in the bag. She’s going to want it tonight, I know her,” he says, zipping up the duffle bag and handing it to Lance. “I’ve sent every possible emergency number to your holopad, as well as my schedule, Acxa’s schedule, and my mom’s schedule for the rest of the week.”

“Your sister has my work and personal number,” Acxa adds.

“Thanks,” Lance says, taking the bag before looking over his shoulder to where Shiro is crouched down and speaking with Azure. “Are you sure you still want her to come with me? She seems to be acting out.”

“She’s excited to spend time with her Papa.” Keith shrugs, playing it cool. “Daddy’s old news, she sees me every day.”

“Still…” he begins, and Keith pats his shoulder good-naturedly.

“Just try to live up to her expectations, okay?” He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

Lance’s heart sinks to his feet at the encouragement. How much does Keith know about his sobriety? Since rehab, Lance's family has kept the news close to the chest — Veronica never spoke a word about it to Acxa — but space is a surprisingly small universe. Gossip gets around. 

The sound of tiny feet patter back over and Lance looks down to see Azure, holding onto Keith’s pant leg. She stares up at the two of them with the same pout as earlier. Lance wishes he knew what that expression meant. When he would see it on Keith’s face, he knew he was in for a lecture or about to be provoked in a challenge. 

“Yes, your highness?” Keith says, crossing his arms over his chest and raising an eyebrow expectantly. It seems like he can translate all their daughter's faces. 

“Uncle Taki and I had a meeting,” she says with adorable seriousness. “We decided that Captain Taki should come with us to Earth.”

He gives Lance a look of _I told you so,_ before unzipping the bag to retrieve the stuffed animal. Keith crouches down so he’s eye-level with Azure, holding it out to her. She takes it slowly, looking down at the toy and then back up at Keith. Her face twitches, and for a second Lance thinks she’s going to cry, but instead, she lunges forward and wraps her arms around Keith’s neck tightly. 

“Sorry for being bad, Daddy,” she says, mostly into Keith’s shirt. 

Keith’s eyes soften as he picks her up and embraces her tightly. Behind them, Lance spots Shiro’s relieved expression. Nice to see their meeting also included a stern talking to from her uncle about her behavior. Still, Keith’s been icing Shiro out since the second Lance showed up, and it doesn't seem to be thawing any time soon. 

When Keith kisses the crown of Azure’s head, Lance’s heart does somersaults. This could’ve been his life if Lance hadn’t run away all those years ago. He could've been here with Keith and Azure, all three of them together as a little space family. The regret gnaws on his heart like a vengeful monster and he shoves another stick of gum in his mouth. 

“Thank you for saying sorry,” Keith says and it occurs to Lance that even though Azure is only a toddler, he speaks to her in the same tone he does to everyone else. No baby-voice. “Are you ready to go to Earth with Papa?”

Azure nods, but her hold on Keith’s neck tightens. He manages to pry her arms off and gently push her back to run a hand through her curls, pushing her bangs away from her eyes. “Hey.”

She looks up at him, her pout now more sad than stern.

“Brave together?” he asks and holds out his pinky towards her. Azure nods, hooking his finger with her tiny one.

“Brave together,” she echoes her face breaking into a bright smile. “I love you, Daddy.”

“I love you more, sweetheart,” Keith says, kissing her one more time before placing her back on the ground. When he stands up to face him again, Lance doesn’t know exactly how to say goodbye. Do they shake hands? Hug?

“Hug,” Azure demands, as if reading his mind. Lance blinks, glancing down at the girl before back at Keith. The other man doesn’t hesitate and pulls Lance in for a hug, holding him tight.

“Take care of her,” he says in Lance’s ear. “She’s my whole heart.”

“Always,” he promises, pulling back to smile at Keith. 

Because now she’s his heart, too. 

* * *

The shuttle back to Earth is cozy as Shiro sits in the cockpit and pilots. Off to the side, Lance sits with Azure and watches how she presses her tiny hands against the window. 

When they arrive at the first teleduv, she attaches herself tightly to Lance's side. He holds her close, attempting to whisper soothing words to keep her from being overwhelmed by the sensation of the ship lurching forward. Quickly, he learns the best way to calm her down is to explain what’s happening around them.

“The teleduv is a wormhole created by a lens made from scaultrite,” he explains, running a hand through her hair as they travel through another wormhole. “Scaultrite is a material that comes from this big animal called a Weblum.”

Azure’s nose scrunches. “What’s a Weblum?”

“Kei — I mean, _Daddy_ didn’t tell you about Weblums?” Lance can’t hold back his laugh when Azure shakes her head. Figures, Keith hated those things. “He had to go inside a Weblum once to get scaultrite for Coran.”

“Ew,” she says, clearly unimpressed by the whole ordeal.

When they enter Earth’s solar system, Azure is nodding off against Lance’s chest. He could barely get her to sit still, but if she’s on his lap, she seems pretty complacent. Shiro points out a cluster of stars that are visible from their window and Azure’s eyes fly open. Spinning around, she climbs up Lance like he’s a tree, leaning over his shoulder to see the stars.

“It’s Auntie Allura!” she calls, waving to the stars outside the window. Hearing the name sends a shock through Lance’s system like he’s been struck by a lightning bolt. Unconsciously, he holds Azure a little tighter. 

It’s been so long since he’s heard her name outside his head.

“Auntie Allura?” Lance asks, hoping the question is clear enough for her to understand. She nods her head, pointing out the window.

“Daddy says Auntie Allura was the most powerful princess ever,” she explains, eyes shining with admiration. “She saved the whole wide universe and became stars to keep us safe.”

“Stars, huh.” He smiles, lowering his shoulders from around his ears. It’s surprising how much Keith has told Azure about their former lives and adventures. Lance figures it could be a side effect of trying to entertain a rambunctious toddler growing up on a spaceship. Still, his stories must’ve been full of affection for Azure to love them as much as she does. 

He’s torn from his thoughts when he feels two tiny hands cup the sides of his face, followed by the small tickle of thumbs sliding across his marks. 

“What’re these?” she asks, and Lance swallows nervously. Somehow Azure managed to strike critical hits on two of his most sensitive topics. Not even his therapist was this blunt.

Lance still hasn’t figured out a good answer for his marks. At the Garrison, most former ATLAS crewmembers know better than to ask Lance. Whenever it does come up, he typically pretends he hasn’t heard the question or answers bluntly enough to give a hint to screw off. Neither are great, he admits. 

It’s been three years and he’s done everything from covering them up with band-aids to violently clawing at them in a manic rage as if he was exorcising a ghost from his bones. He’s only recently stopped wearing concealer, one of the small steps he’s taken to one day to fully accept them. Right now, it still seems impossible — he has the brand of his dead ex-girlfriend on his face. It’s the first thing Lance sees in the morning, and last he sees before going to bed. It’s a bit of blind faith, as is so much with recovery.

He’s not like Keith who can spin some of their most traumatizing moments into a beautiful bedtime story. However, Lance knows avoiding direct questions from toddlers will only lead to her asking them again nine different ways until he breaks. He closes his eyes and sighs. 

“Those are Altean marks,” he explains, figuring the truth is probably the best of all his bad options. Azure’s eyes squint as she considers his answer. 

Lance doesn’t think he’ll ever stop seeing Keith’s expressions on their daughter's face. He wonders if Keith ever thought the same—if Azure reminded him of Lance. Was it even possible for her to pick up ticks from a parent she’d never met?

“Are you Altean, Papa?” Azure asks. Over her shoulder, Lance can see Shiro very much not participating in _this_ conversation. Not that he can blame him.

“No, I’m not,” he replies, reaching up to place his hands over hers against his cheeks. “Auntie Allura gave me these when she became stars.”

Azure’s eyes widen as once again the knowledge Lance is dropping blows her mind. “Will I get Altean marks too?”

The thought alone makes his blood run cold.

“Let’s hope not,” Lance says as kindly as he can before pulling her hands away from his face. 

She sits back down in his lap, getting comfortable again. From the corner of his eye, he can see her touching her face — as if she could summon her own matching marks on her cheekbones.

* * *

When they land at the Garrison, Azure is out like a light. 

Lance slings her backpack over his shoulder and Shiro carries the duffle Keith packed. He holds her tight as he carries her through the Garrison hangar, toward where the staff apartments reside. 

The Garrison has expanded a lot since the war ended, being the central hub for the Galaxy Alliance as an interplanetary organization aiming to maintain peace. The academy still remained, and Shiro led the piloting program. One of the first changes he enacted was to consolidate the fighter and cargo pilot tracks — “a pilot is a pilot” he reasoned — still, Lance couldn’t help but be a little proud whenever a cargo-class outperformed a cocky fighter-pilot.

Shiro lives in the same apartment complex as Lance does, at the end of the row of their single-unit shoeboxes. It’s a bit unconventional for someone of his rank — even Veronica has her own townhouse in the nicer complex ten minutes outside the campus. Shiro says he doesn’t need the space, he lives alone and is usually traveling. That may be true, but Lance knows there’s an underlying reason. 

Shiro may not have seemed the most obvious choice to be one of his first calls when he was scheduled to be released from rehab, it wasn’t like they were super close. But he’s a survivor, and Lance needed a strong arm to keep him steady, especially those first few weeks. When he left the rehab clinic, Shiro was the one waiting for him outside with Veronica. 

As much as it pained him, most of his family were unintentional enablers. Their farm was one giant red flag — or more accurately, _pink_. Regardless, Veronica advised if he was going to stay clean, Lance needed distance and but also accountability. Isolation is the biggest risk of his backsliding. Somehow, he ended up rooming with Shiro in his two-bedroom Garrison apartment. 

In those early days, Lance was surprised to learn Shiro wasn’t badgering or naggy at all, but something even sneakier: he was fun. Lance found himself getting up at the crack of dawn to join Shiro on jogs or go to the campus gym together. They’d watch a ton of movies, something Lance never knew the other man was into. He even brought Lance to a support group in a church basement outside of the Garrison, led by one of the ATLAS former communications officers named Curtis. Apparently, he’d been leading the support group since the Galra invasion and gathered up an impressive number of members. Lance knew all these details about Curtis because Shiro wouldn’t shut the hell up about the guy.

Six months into sobriety, Lance got an admin position in the piloting program. It was his first full-time job outside of being a defender of the universe or working on the farm. In the office, Lance was a favorite for the students, as he took the time to help them navigate their courses, programs and even tutoring on the side. Last semester, Shiro had formerly recommended Lance as a full-time professor in the piloting track. He’s only recently moved out of Shiro’s apartment, but only a few units down in the same complex. 

When they were still paladins, Lance struggled to understand Keith’s relationship with Shiro. He had chalked up Keith’s obsessive search and emotional agony due to Shiro being the closest thing he had to family. Now, he understands exactly — Takashi Shirogane is the man who kept Lance alive. 

That’s the only reason he didn’t completely lose his shit when he learned Shiro knew about Azure. It was an unspoken agreement when Shiro would visit Keith, he wouldn’t mention the other man by name and just say “Daibazaal.” Usually, Lance would crash at Veronica’s those weekends or help Hunk with his catering start-up.

Now, seeing Shiro with Azure, Lance knows he wouldn’t have allowed him within a galaxy of Keith if he didn’t think Lance was serious about his sobriety. 

They walk in comfortable silence until Shiro can’t help but make it uncomfortable.

“If you’re feeling bad about any of this,” he says, adjusting the bag on his non-mechanical shoulder. “That’s probably a good sign.”

“How?” Lance asks, raising a skeptical brow as they turn a corner. “I feel like sh—”

He stops and looks down at the still sleeping Azure in his arms. 

“Poop,” he corrects. 

“It means that you care, Lance.”

“Stop telling me how I feel, you know I hate that.”

If Lance’s tone bothers Shiro, he doesn’t show it.

“There are plenty of fathers in your position who'd run the other way. You can’t blame yourself for what you didn’t know, but you’re stepping up now and that’s what matters most,” Shiro explains as they turn off the walkway and up the small pathway to Lance’s apartment. “You’re doing the right thing.”

“Just wish I didn’t do the wrong thing first,” he admits, looking down at Azure and moving a lock of hair from her face. “I missed out.”

“Maybe, but if I’ve learned anything, it’s that things happen for a reason. Somehow life finds a way of working itself out. Even if it's not in the way we expect,” Shiro says before walking up to Lance’s front door. He takes hold of Azure as Lance digs in his pockets for his keys and unlocks the door.

Lance nudges the door ajar with his shoulder, turning on the lights with his free hand. Beside him, Shiro drops Azure’s bag by the entryway.

Still holding her, Shiro does a quick sweep of Lance’s place. When Lance first moved in, Shiro would try to covertly check to see if he had anything in his apartment. Of course Lance noticed immediately and told him to just be upfront about the check. Now it’s become almost a habit, even though Lance never has anything, anyway. The strongest thing he has in his apartment is Advil.

Once he’s passed the Captain’s inspection, Shiro hands Azure back to Lance. 

“You good?” he asks, glancing at Azure and then back at Lance. “If you want me to stay over the first night, I can.”

Lance shakes his head. “Thanks, but I think I can take it from here.”

“Alright,” he replies, turning toward the door to head to his own apartment. “I’m here until Monday if you need anything.”

“Is Keith even going to talk to you by Monday?

“Eh, probably not. Not like I don’t deserve it.” Shiro shrugs before kissing the top of Azure’s head and giving Lance an affectionate shoulder squeeze. When the door closes behind him, the true gravity of the situation hits like a tsunami.

Lance and Keith have a daughter together. 

In his arms is _his_ child. A whole person he helped make that went through three years of life without ever meeting him, but still manages to love him unconditionally. 

A sob almost escapes his throat, the sheer emotion of it all nearly enough to buckle him at the knees. He holds back, not wanting to wake Azure and freak her out.

He’s still trying to make a good first impression.

“Alright, Lance, time to get it together,” he whispers to himself, picking up Azure's bags and making his way to the bedroom. “You got a life depending on you now.”

Lance wasn’t kidding when he was worried about space when it came to watching Azure. The main area of the apartment is probably just a little wider than their old rooms on the Castleship, a kitchenette along one wall, divided from the rest of the room by a counter and two high-top chairs. An L-shape couch sits at the opposite end of the room, guarded by a cheap coffee table he stole from one of the neighbors when they moved out. The only thing of much value is the television Lance mounted on the wall. Other than that, there’s no other furniture. Nothing else on the walls save for the hooks by the door that had come with the place. 

There’s still an unopened box sitting in the corner, full of framed pictures and other keepsakes from their Voltron days that his mother had mailed to him. The sentiment was well-meaning, but he would’ve rather it stayed in the attic. Lance has lived here for only a few months, and he still isn’t ready to go through it. He also doesn’t want to put it in storage. He doesn’t really know what to do with it, so it sits there. Maybe he’ll unpack it one day.

He makes his way down a short hallway leading to the bedroom. He’s got a full-size bed, with only two pillows. A light gray blanket on smooth linen sheets. It’s summer, so his heavy blankets have been stored away. He drops Azure’s bags on the mattress before slowly placing her down on top of the blanket. 

Lance sits at the end of the bed and takes a deep breath. His bedroom is the only room in the apartment with a window, and the glow of the moon outside washes over the bed and bathes Azure in the soft moonlight. He can’t help himself when he runs his hands through her hair, untangling curls and removing the barrettes so it doesn’t make her scalp itchy in the morning. Lance wonders if Keith had learned to braid hair for their daughter’s sake and how many times the poor girl had to wander the ship with uneven twists and floppy pigtails. 

Another lurch in his chest has him fighting back a sob, still so racked by guilt. Silently he vows to tie Azure’s hair every morning she’s with him. He'll show her how to tie her hair back in fishtail braids and criss-cross pigtails. She’ll love them so much, Keith will have to learn how to do the hairstyles himself once she’s back home.

Lance tries not to think about Azure being away from him. He knows the custody conversation with Keith will be one of their first talks after this week. Taking a deep breath, he urges himself to let go of the unhelpful thought. It’ll still be there at the end of the week.

Gently, Lance unbuckles Azure’s shoes and takes off her tiny jacket. She’s down for the count, but there’s no way she’s going to bed without brushing her teeth. If he brings her back to Keith with even the _suggestion_ of a cavity, he’ll skin Lance alive. 

“Azure,” he says softly, doing his best to wake her without startling her. “C’mon, time to get ready for bed.”

She groans, turning away from him and shoving her face into the pillow. “No, Daddy…”

Lance sucks air between his teeth and swallows down his shame. He can't take it personally that she’s used to Keith. She’s only known him for less than a day. Somehow he manages to nudge Azure enough to get her to sit up, albeit zombie-like, so he can change her into the pajamas Keith packed.

Once dressed in the nightgown, she tries to flop back onto the comforter, and Lance has to hold back a snort when he catches her. “Nuh-uh, you’re brushing your teeth first.”

Taking the bag of toiletries, Lance lifts her up from the bed as she mumbles something inaudible into his shirt. Across the hall, he brings her into the cramped bathroom just large enough for a toilet, sink, and a tub-shower. She’s too small to see herself over the sink, so Lance perches her on the edge of the counter. 

The journey is enough to wake her up a bit, but her tiny face scrunches up in an almost irritated-look Lance is now calling her Keith face. Lance bops her on the nose in hopes of making her smile.

“Papa…” she whispers, and Lance feels a small wave of relief that she remembers him. The last thing he needs is for her to have second thoughts about staying with him when they’re already on Earth. “I’m tired.”

“I know, but we need to get ready for bed.”

She sighs in defeat and he helps her brush her teeth, rinsing with a cup of water he’s poured for her. When she spits, she misses the sink entirely, landing on Lance’s feet and soaking his socks. He groans but doesn’t have the strength to make a big deal about it. Bringing her back to the bedroom in soggy socks, he hears Azure whine something else.

He stops in his tracks. “What’s up?”

“Taki…” she whimpers and it takes Lance a second to comprehend what she’s said. Taki is what she calls Shiro.

“Uncle Taki went home, Azure,” he replies. She shakes her head, hair flopping in her face.

“ _Captain_ Taki,” she urges again, and it takes Lance another moment before he realizes she’s talking about the grimey stuffed animal.

Shit. Where did he put it?

Placing her on the bed, Lance tells Azure to get under the covers while he gets Captain Taki. She nods, squirming under the blankets while Lance sprints out the room, frantically searching his tiny apartment for the toy.

He hunts through the living room, flinging pillows around and checking under sofa cushions. Mentally, he tries to retrace their steps from the shuttle to the apartment. Azure had the doll when they boarded the ship; Keith had given it to her. She sat with Lance the entire ride, and she had it then, too.

“Shit, fuck, shit,” he hisses, looking around the apartment and trying to fight the bubbling sense of dread boiling in his gut. Did they leave it behind on the shuttle? Lance tugs at his hair, wondering how fast he could run back to the garage. But he can’t leave Azure all by herself. Maybe if he called Shiro—

“Papa!” Azure calls and Lance scrambles to his feet, nearly slipping in his wet socks as he skids into the bedroom. 

“Yeah?” he pants. Azure stares up at him from where she’s tucked herself in bed and points to her backpack on the floor beside the bed. Blinking dumbly, he crouches down and unzips it, revealing the missing stuffed yalmor.

Oh, right. He put it in there when she fell asleep on him so she wouldn’t lose it. Leave it to him and his crappy memory to send them both into a frantic frenzy before bed.

Lance pulls the doll out and hands it to Azure, who takes it happily. “Thank you, Papa.”

“Sure,” he nods dumbly, watching as she then turns on her side and cuddles into the blankets. It’s almost impressive how unfazed she is about being on a brand new planet, in a brand new home with her brand new dad. 

Peeling off his wet socks, Lance rolls them up into a ball before tossing them into the laundry hamper. He’s about to turn to leave the room when he sees Azure sit up. 

“Stay?” she asks in the tiniest voice he’s ever heard.

“Uh, I mean…” Lance stammers, but he takes one look at that face and those eyes and the fight leaves him. “Yeah, okay.”

He climbs into bed next to her, laying on top of the blankets. Azure pouts again, tugging on them as a signal for him to get under them or else. She _definitely_ got that bossy gene from Keith.

Lance ducks under the covers with her, promising himself that once she’s asleep he’ll leave. Maybe take a shower. Maybe take a moment to reflect on how royally different his life is now than it was this morning. Instead, Azure cuddles up against his chest, and he runs a soothing hand across her forehead. Her breath evens quickly, falling back asleep easily. 

He takes a moment to take in her features, searching for anything familiar. She has his slightly upturned nose and long fingers. He wonders if anyone’s advised Keith to sign her up for piano lessons, similar to how his parents forced Lance to when he was a kid. He wonders if Azure likes music and hopes she’s picked up his sense of rhythm. Lance doesn’t know if Keith’s a good dancer, but if he’s as deft on his feet as he is when fighting, there could be hope for Azure.

With that thought, Lance falls asleep without wanting a hit of anything for the first time in over a year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The number of people who have commented or DMed me over Keith v. Lance after the last chapter has been wild. To be honest, when writing this I never figured any side was "right' or "wrong' - they're just two people who made a decision that they thought was the best thing to do at the time. 
> 
> Meanwhile, we should really be annoyed with Shiro. Ask Curtis out already, you big dumb baby!
> 
> As always, please leave kudos/comments. It is the only thing keeping me going with this fic. Tell me nice things!
> 
> Next chapter - Azure fights a door!


	4. Stuck In My Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge doesn’t appear nearly as nervous, in fact, her face is splitting into the largest grin he’s ever seen. 
> 
> “Lance,” she honest-to-God squeals, gripping the front of her jacket like she may pass out from the sheer force of emotion. “How the heck did you and Keith make such a cute kid? Oh my god!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *throws this chapter at you all* Ah! Weekend update! Bye!
> 
> Biggest thanks to VioletFoxTales for editing, as per usual. Especially for telling me to rewrite the first half of this chapter and being totally right about it. You're the best!

The next morning, Lance wakes up before Azure and for one fuzzy moment, he thinks perhaps the day before was some sort of dream. That he still hasn’t joined Shiro's mission to Daibazaal. Then he feels the tiny heartbeat pressed against his chest, and his new reality becomes crystal clear. 

Several minutes pass and Lance is tempted to lay there all day marveling at her. Tiny chubby fingers clutch onto the front of his uniform that he’s still wearing from the night before. Lance reaches between them, holding her hand gently. Almost instinctively, Azure’s grip tightens. 

Her skin is dark, though not as dark as his, and far softer than his rough palms. All Lance has done with these hands is hurt people, from pulling a trigger to injecting a needle under his own skin. He wonders what remarkable things his daughter will do with her hands in her lifetime. Hopefully, she takes after Keith and uses them to help people.

The past three years have been the longest of Lance’s life. After the war, he found himself in a deep hole of darkness. Nightmares, fear, anxiety, grief. It sat in his bones like marrow, filling him with a miasma so potent he didn't know how to escape it. The pain held him down, choking him until he found himself grasping at self-destructive ways of coping with drugs and alcohol. It numbed him, let him stumble through life forgetting everything and everyone.

Until one morning, he looked up and couldn’t see the sun. He couldn’t feel the warmth on his skin, the wind in his hair. The world he fought so hard to protect, the one Allura left for them, was moving forward, but Lance was stuck in the mud and it was slowly dragging him down, threatening to overtake him entirely.

What the hell had been the point of fighting for his life if all he was going to do was let it go to waste?

After a year of being sober, Lance is able to look up and see the beauty of the world around him again. In the mirror, he sees himself not as the teenager who ran off to space or the young man who returned from the war shaken and heartbroken, but the man who encompasses all of those things and is better because of them. He’s on the other side but still recognizes himself. He’s been through the darkness, but his core remains the same. 

That doesn’t mean every aspect of his life followed suit. The destructive energy of his addiction cut through each of his relationships like a bush fire in a drought, leaving more wreckage behind than Lance ever thought possible.

The hardest part of recovery wasn’t rehab or changing his lifestyle. It was seeking forgiveness from all the people he had hurt, and also those who have hurt him.

As he went through the list of people who he needed to forgive, the most tender name on the list was Allura. The realization that he held so much pent up resentment towards her was such an overwhelming breakthrough, he collapsed in an emotional mess during one of his support groups. Curtis had held him steady as Lance had let the ugliness of his feelings free, his anger at her for leaving him, his hurt over her not loving him as much as he loved her, and for simply breaking his heart. 

Forgiving her was cathartic, and set him on a path of being able to enjoy the beauty of the universe she had saved. Every rainfall, shooting star, or bloom of fresh flowers, Lance feels her influence. There are still things he’s working on becoming more comfortable with, but being able to think of Allura without the sting of his heart, but rather affection has been one of the most rewarding outcomes of his recovery.

This step also included making a list of all the people he had hurt. The list consisted of Lance’s family, Veronica especially, Hunk, Pidge, and Shiro. He’s slowly been able to weave his social life back in, spending time with Pidge and Veronica at the Garrison while video chatting with Hunk as often as their schedules allow, and of course, he wouldn't be anywhere without Shiro’s steady guidance. 

With all his progress, there is still one name sitting at the very top of his list — Keith.

At first, Lance felt eager to reach out to him and mend their broken relationship. On more than one occasion, making the motion to open his contacts to jump on a call. But in the end, he just didn’t feel ready.

Lance had hurt Pidge, Hunk, and Veronica in such direct ways with his anger and selfishness. He was able to pinpoint exact instances when he had crossed the line, it was clear. But Keith was anything but clear.

From the start, their relationship had been intense and volatile. Every emotion he’s ever felt towards Keith has always been extreme — jealousy, irritation, trust, abandonment, anger, admiration, attraction. It was a pendulum swinging back and forth, until Lance self-destructed like a supernova, catching Keith in his blast. He couldn’t take back what had happened between them during that first Allura Day, but he was hopeful they could start over without so many walls between them.

Lance had meticulously planned for weeks, almost down to the tick, what he’d do to ask for Keith’s forgiveness. He badgered Shiro for days to let him join the crew heading to Daibazaal, even though he hadn't been a diplomat since being a paladin. Lance knew it needed to be in person and on Keith’s home turf to keep him from running away. He would’ve settled for simple acceptance of his apology and a casual friendship if only to have Keith in his life again. 

What he got instead is so much more. It’s almost beautiful that from the embers of their destruction, they managed to create this small light. A tiny person who encapsulates what once felt all-consuming. The equilibrium of their pendulum. 

Reclining in the quiet stillness of the early morning, Lance brushes back a loose strand of Azure’s pitch-black hair. His heart is full with so much love for her that it’s terrifying. From the moment he saw Azure it was as if he instinctively knew she was a part of him. A piece of his heart living outside his chest.

Quietly, Lance creeps out of the bed to avoid waking Azure. He grabs a pair of sweats and a long-sleeved shirt, heads to the shower, and finally peels off his uniform. It's probably not great that he slept in it, but he throws it in the laundry chute. A bot will bring it to his door, clean and freshly pressed, by dinner. 

He lets the warm water wash away some of the dirt and grime sticking to his skin from traveling. The loofah sponge exfoliates him, and he's gentle with the raised scarred-skin on his forearms. The marks left behind from a different war than the one that's left a starburst on his back. 

Once done, he shaves quickly in the mirror, before changing and taking his morning medication. A dollop of facial moisturizer, a quick blow of the hairdryer, and boom! Lance checks his phone and grins when he sees the routine is still under fifteen minutes.

Making his way out to the kitchenette, he opens a few cupboards before realizing he has next to no food in his apartment. Lance turns around and swings open the door of the refrigerator. The fridge, tiny and ill-lit, looks like nobody’s opened the door since before World War III. Aside from a few soda cans, a half-eaten sandwich, and a container of something that’s turned entirely to mold, it’s barren. He runs his hand over his face with a groan.

Sure, Lance can cook, but he doesn’t have a roommate so there’s not much point. Every morning he’ll make a cup of coffee and maybe a slice of toast before teaching. Lunch is standard Garrison grub, and dinner is typically takeout or mooching at Shiro’s, Veronica’s, or the Holts. With Azure here, he definitely needs to stock the fridge. 

Pulling his phone from his pocket, he checks the time. It’s not even 7:00am yet, too early to wake Azure and go on a grocery run. Not to mention he has no freaking clue what she eats, and he’s not trusting a three-year-old with their shopping list. As guilty as Lance feels, he’s not about to become the careless dad who feeds their kid chicken nuggets and ketchup for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Groaning again, he thumbs open his phone screen and scrolls through his contacts. When Keith had asked Lance if he had his cell number, Lance had lied and said he didn’t. The second Keith had given him his number, Lance had seen it was the same one he’s had since they came back to Earth. Lance's has been the same too. 

Another reminder of how easy it would’ve been for either of them to contact the other.

When he opens their text history, the last message is from three years ago when Keith had told Lance he was stopping by the farm and wanted to talk with him. Lance had ignored it.

He pushes past the sinking feeling and types his message.

**Lance** : Hey

 **Lance** : Buying groceries for Azure. What does she like?

He has no idea what time it is on Luxuria, even though he’s sure one of the ten schedules Keith sent to his holopad listed the time difference. Staring at the phone, he raps his fingers against the counter, waiting for the reply.

His phone bursts to life, embarrassing ringtone blaring, as Keith’s contact info flashes across the screen. Surprised, Lance answers it quickly, not wanting to wake up Azure down the hall. 

“Uh, hello?” Lance greets as if he’s never answered the phone before. On the other end, he hears the gruffness of Keith’s voice.

“You got a pen and paper?”

Typical Keith, jumping right in and barking orders without a single hello.

“Gimme a second,” Lance says, grabbing his holopad and stylus. “Are you seriously that guy who answers a text with a phone call?”

“It’s faster. Are you ready or what?”

“Yeah, I’m ready. Hit me.”

Keith lists items, rattling them off the top of his head like it’s second nature. Some of the food he mentions is definitely not stuff found on Earth, and they squabble a bit on what the Earth alternative would be. Lance is relieved when it’s clear he can make most, if not all of these meals. One of which is blueberry pancakes, perfect for their first breakfast together.

“How is she doing?” Keith asks, his voice gentler given the topic change. 

“Pretty good. She passed out on the shuttle home, so the bedtime routine was a little touch and go there, but otherwise not bad,” Lance replies, leaning against the counter. “She’s still sleeping.”

“Wake her up before ten. She was used to Daibazaal’s time and is probably jetlagged.”

“Right,” Lance nods, a little annoyed Keith would think he would forget. He lets it slide, not really in the mood to get into it with him first thing in the morning. “How’s your da—”

“I’m not a big texter, so next time you need something just call me,” Keith interrupts him.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“It’s fine. Bye, Lance.”

“Uh, okay. Bye, Kei—”

Lance doubts whether Keith hears him before he hangs up. 

Annoyance flares hot under his skin. What the hell was that about? He barely said five words to the guy before he hung up on him. He pulls the phone from his ear, staring at the contact information left on his screen. 

The photo he has of Keith is from when they were on the ATLAS. One of the few times Lance had caught up with him and Hunk, the three of them hanging out in Keith’s room to pass the time between missions. Hunk had done a killer impersonation of Iverson on the bridge that made Keith laugh so hard, he snorted. Lance’s trigger finger was quick enough to capture the moment. He never showed it to Keith, knowing damn well if he knew there was a picture of him smiling in the world, he’d have a conniption.

Keith doesn’t look very different now; he still has those piercing indigo eyes and his dark hair is more moppy than mullet these days. But Keith seemed softer during their reunion. Not in body, although with Lance’s latest gains he may be able to finally hold his own in a sparring match. More around the eyes. His jagged edges have eroded over time. Raising Azure must’ve shifted his priorities. At least, it would have for Lance. 

He taps out of his contact list, dialing a number he knows by heart. Pressing the phone back to his ear, he’s surprised to hear it pick up after the second ring.

“Lance, you better be dying or close to it,” Pidge's voice grumbles through the receiver. Unlike Keith, her words hold no venom. 

“Morning, Pidge,” Lance preens, inspecting his cuticles as he speaks. “Rough night building robots?”

“I’m going to assume by your tone that you aren’t dying, so I’m going to hang up because it’s 7:00am on a Saturday and I hate you.”

“Pidge,” Lance repeats in a sing-song voice. “Remember when you needed someone to honeypot the marketing representative from Rigel Corp so you could get first dibs on the emergency photon submasks the Crauri were selling on that swap moon?”

Pidge sighs. “Yes, Lance.” 

“And what did you say afterward?”

“That I owed you a favor, no matter the time, place, or location. No questions asked.”

“Consider this me calling in that favor,” Lance grins against the phone. “Now, I’m going to send you a shopping list...”

* * *

Pidge appears in front of his apartment two hours later with every single item on the list. Even the weird alien stuff. She brings it inside with the help of two toaster-sized drones that flutter through the kitchen, dropping the bags of groceries on his counter like some sort of magical mechanical birds in a princess movie. Part of him wishes Azure was awake to see it.

Pidge presses a red button on her watch and the drones collapse into two silver-dollar sized discs that slot themselves securely around the case of the timepiece.

“Woah,” Lance blinks, genuinely impressed with the tech. “Can I tr-"

“No,” she answers, crossing her arms over the front of her jacket. If the dark circles under her eyes are any indicator, she’s most likely running on less than two hours of sleep. “You better have brewed some decent coffee for making me get up before the sun.” 

He hands her a cup of coffee, black with two sugars. “Pidge, it’s like 9:00am.”

“Do you know the types of people who go grocery shopping this early on a weekend, Lance?” Pidge hisses, taking the mug and downing half of it down in a single gulp. It makes Lance’s esophagus burn just witnessing it. “Old people and extremely competitive coupon clippers. I was trapped behind this Polxian guy trying to save two credits on pickles!”

Lance hushes her, pressing a finger to his lip signaling her to lower her voice. “Stop yelling.”

Taking the hint, Pidge’s eyebrows shoot up over the rims of her non-prescription lenses. “Oh, do _not_ tell me I had to do your shopping because you have someone over and you want to impress them with breakfast.”

“Cool, then I won’t,” Lance shrugs, moving to put away the groceries while keeping an eye on the time. He can probably get the batter for the first batch ready before needing to wake up Azure…

“Lance, are you kidding me?” Pidge squeaks, pointing down the hallway in the general location of his bedroom. “Are you so shameless as to invite friends over when you have a one-night stand still here? In your bed?” 

_“What?!”_ He chokes on his spit, nearly dropping a gallon of milk on the floor. “I didn’t have a one-night stand!” 

“Liar!” Pidge retorts, climbing onto the high-top chair to lean over the counter, swiping her hand in the air to point an accusatory finger in his face. “You _never_ have a stocked fridge unless Hunk gets you stuff, and he’s on Kuiper’s Belt with Shay for vacation. That means _somebody_ is here who you need to feed. Who are they, Lance? Is it Trey from admin? Daisy from the gift shop?”

“No!”

“If it’s another Jenny, I swear I will end you,” she threatens, before some kind of lightbulb flashes in her head. “Holy crap...is it _Keith_? Did you guys reunite and finally bang out that decade of sexual tension?”

“Pidge stop it,” he demands, fighting through the blush creeping along his cheekbones. “Yes, there’s someone here but it’s _not_ a one-night stand and it’s _not_ Keith.”

“Elaborate.” Pidge falls backward to sit on the high-top chair, not even trying to hide her disappointment. 

Lance worries his bottom lip between his teeth, staring toward the bedroom door. Figuring it’ll be better to come clean, Lance brings her up to speed on the current situation with Keith, him, and, of course, Azure. 

The emotions that flicker across Pidge’s face are those of sympathetic pain and obvious disbelief. “Are you alright with all of this?”

Lance shrugs his shoulders, feeling suddenly much smaller than he is. This is so strange to talk about out loud. “Keith did what he thought was best for Azure. It wasn’t personal.”

“She’s _your_ _kid,_ Lance. It doesn’t get any more personal than that,” Pidge argues, looking down at the counter. During his account of events, they’ve put everything away and have begun prepping the pancake batter. “Look, I didn’t want to tell you this when you were planning to go see him, but Hunk and I knew Keith had a daughter. He mentioned her during the Allura Day dinners.”

Lance’s heart drops to his knees. “You guys _knew?_ ”

“We thought she was adopted!” she urges, eyes full of genuine honesty. “Like they found her during one of their BOM missions or something? You know how those Broganes bring home orphans like most people bring home stray cats.”

“How could neither of you tell me?” Lance croaks, choking up as he asks. Even with everything that’s happened between him and Keith, there was no excuse for Hunk and Pidge to keep this a secret. Keith having a child is big fucking news, and not one of them could be bothered to send him a text about it?

“Lance, you _know_ why,” Pidge says as firmly as she can, locking eyes with him over the bowl of batter. Lance doesn’t have the courage to say anything else on the matter, silently stirring the mix rougher than necessary.

During his darkest days, Lance had isolated himself from his friends, but that doesn’t mean there weren’t incidents where he would go too far when he was stoned or drunk. Lance became a different person.

The last time he had seen Hunk and Pidge before rehab had ended with an awful fight in a shitty dive bar by his family’s farm. One of them had mentioned Allura, most likely Hunk. Even though Lance can’t remember why he had brought her up, all it took was that and one of Pidge’s too-mean-to-be-funny ‘jokes’ about Keith to set him off. There were two things able to trigger him faster than anything, and his friends hadn’t just stepped in them both, they had stomped. 

The fight had been nasty. Hunk and Pidge left him spiraling alone at the bar. Lance had woken up the next morning bruised and dopesick in the bed of a woman he couldn’t pick out of a lineup.

They didn’t speak again for two years. Not until Lance was clean. After his first six months sober, and when he began to tick through the list of people he’d hurt, Pidge and Hunk were one of the first ones he had approached with hopes of salvaging their friendship. 

He was fearful that after everything, they’d never want to speak to him again, but they proved him wrong. They answered his calls, met him at his parent’s place, and over the longest cup of coffee of Lance’s life, the three of them unpacked years of emotional baggage and apologized. 

Their friendship had survived, but it had changed. In their own ways after the war, they had to re-learn how to be friends and not just paladins. Hunk is less nosey, Lance is more vulnerable, and Pidge is kinder. In fact, aside from Shiro, Pidge has been Lance’s strongest champion at the Garrison. 

Pidge breaks the silence. “You’ve only been sober for a year, I didn’t want to overwhelm you.”

"It overwhelms me more when you hold back or hide things to spare my feelings,” Lance admits. 

“Eventually, it was just an awkward thing to bring up out of the blue,” Pidge offers. She mimics a conversation. “Oh hi, Lance, lovely weather we’re having today. Did you catch the game last night and oh yeah, _Keith has a kid now._ ”

The joke is meant to diffuse the tension, but it only manages to rile Lance up more. He turns his back to her to grab an apron from the hook, tying it loosely behind him. It’s not like he cares if this shirt gets batter on it, he just wants an excuse not to look at Pidge. 

Shiro not telling him, Lance could understand. He’s Keith’s brother and the keeper of all his secrets. But Hunk and Pidge? 

No matter how much progress he makes, the people around him still can’t trust him. He doesn’t need his friends to protect him like he’s made of glass. Lance wants the agency to decide for himself how he’s allowed to feel—how he would have handled the information.

He grabs a pan from the shelf, placing it on the stovetop and melting a thin slice of butter to coat the pan. It’s barely been a day and he still isn’t sure who exactly to be angry at, or if it’s even worth being angry at all. Lance feels like he’s mourning a life he should’ve been living. 

He catches the _should_ in his thoughts and stops to take a deep breath. 

As someone who struggles with self-worth, he’s learned that _should_ or _shouldn’t_ are words drenched in judgment. Sobriety has shown him how destructive it is to be mad at the past. He’s tried bargaining with it as if bleeding himself dry over all the ways things should’ve been would make a difference. But he can't change the past, and stressing over it is a waste of time and energy.

Just like it's a waste to think of all the possible ways he could’ve been there for Azure without going through everything he did.

Pidge jumps from the chair and scurries around the kitchenette, wrapping her tiny arms around Lance’s midsection. He doesn’t realize he’s crying until one of his tears falls and sizzles on the edge of the frying pan. She presses her face against his back.

“Lance, I’m _so_ sorry,” she cries, squeezing him tight. “It doesn’t matter why I did it, not telling you was wrong. I was wrong.”

He can’t help but smile, covering her hand with his own. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say that before, Pidge.”

“What?” she asks, pulling away to rub her eyes. She ends up pushing her glasses up against her forehead. “That I’m sorry?”

Lance’s smile morphs into a smirk thrown over his shoulder, feeling giggly all of the sudden. “That you were wrong.”

Realization slowly flashes across her face, and she attempts to push down the emotion.

“Yeah? Well, that’s how you know I mean it,” she huffs, obviously at the max of her human interaction for the day. Squeezing past him, she gets a refill of coffee while he pours more batter for a fresh pancake batch. 

“Is it messed up that I’m kind of pissed at Keith, though?” she asks, sitting back down at the counter, fresh coffee acquired. “Actually, scratch that. Not kind of, I’m pissed. Really pissed. Like I-want-to-punch-him-once-for-every-year-he-kept-that-child-a-secret-from-you pissed."

“Watch your language around my kid,” Lance scolds pointing his spatula at her before using it to flip another pancake. Their usual dynamic is back as Pidge rolls her eyes.

“Sorry, Dad. I mean _PO-ed_.”

He’s about to push back against the sass when his attention is ripped towards the hallway, as the creaking of a door opening echoes through the apartment. There’s a slow pattering of tiny bare feet against the hardwood floor preceding Azure making her way across the living area towards the kitchenette. Her nightgown is wrinkled, and her ebony locks are twisted in bedhead. Her steps are so heavy, she almost stumbles when she goes right for Lance’s pant leg and clings tight.

“Daddy?” Azure’s tiny voice is groggy with sleep. Lance glances at the clock on the oven and sees it's already a quarter-past ten. He mentally kicks himself for losing track of time and not waking her up earlier. No wonder she’s disoriented.

“You’re at Papa’s house, Azure,” Lance says, as gently as he can and trying his best to tame her curls while flipping a pancake. Her hair is damp with sweat because, like Keith, she has the body temperature of a small furnace. “Did you have nice dreams?”

Azure doesn’t reply. Instead, she pulls her face back from his leg, squinting up at Lance before inspecting the whole kitchenette. It’s a new location for her, and he can tell she’s trying to figure it all out. When her eyes land on Pidge, Lance feels her freeze up.

“Pidge is here, too,” he says, cutting off the burner and placing the final pancake on the serving plate. “We’re having blueberry pancakes for breakfast.”

He turns and sees Pidge smile and give the girl a tiny wave. For reasons unknown to Lance, this is enough to set Azure off, and before he knows it she’s bolted right out of the kitchen, down the hallway, and back into the bedroom. The second he hears the door slam panic peaks in his gut.

“Shit,” Lance hisses, dropping the platter in front of Pidge. He unties his apron and tosses it on the counter before clambering off. “That door gets stuck when it’s slammed.”

Pidge doesn’t appear nearly as nervous, in fact, her face is splitting into the largest grin he’s ever seen. 

“ _Lance_ ,” she honest-to-God squeals, gripping the front of her jacket like she may pass out from the sheer force of emotion. “How the heck did you and Keith make such a cute kid? Oh my god!”

He doesn’t reply, too busy jiggling the doorknob and — yup. Jammed. He can already feel his blood pressure rising, but he doesn’t want to freak out because if he freaks out Azure will freak out, and who knows what she’ll do if she’s freaking out in a room alone. If he can get her to try to open the door, he may be able to pry it free.

He knocks on the door gently with his knuckles. “Azure, it’s Papa. Can you let me in?”

There’s a rustling noise on the other side of the door. Then a _thud_. Lance’s mind jumps to every possible worst-case scenario. Did something drop? Did she fall down? He twists the knob again to no avail. 

He hears the pattering of feet coming closer to the door.

“Papa, I’m getting ready!” Azure huffs through the wood as if Lance is the one out of line for even suggesting she meet guests before she is decent. At least that means she isn’t freaking out, but rather more bashful about meeting strangers in only her pajamas. Then something occurs to him.

“Does Daddy let you get ready on your own?”

The hesitation answers him before she does. “I don’t know?”

Azure can’t lie, but she’s sure good at not telling the truth. He smacks his forehead, his hand running down his face slowly. The floorboards creak behind him as Pidge makes her way over, crouching down next to him so they’re both facing the door.

“Is she okay?” she whispers. Of all of them, Pidge is probably the most inept when it comes to dealing with children. If it’s not made of metal with a trillium-alpha processor, she isn’t interested in it. 

Lance sighs, jiggling the knob again before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a stick of strawberry gum. Pidge's face twists, the sweetness, and mintiness wafting between them. He chews it anyway.

“She doesn’t know that the door is," he pauses, snapping the gum. "S-T-U-C-K.”

It’s a ploy he’s picked up from dealing with his nieces and nephews: spell out the scary words so the adults can talk around the kids in the room. Unfortunately, Pidge is unfamiliar with this tactic, probably because she learned how to spell when she was still in the womb.

“It’s _stuck_?” her voice cracks and Lance nearly slaps her in rage. 

“Pidge!” he hisses and she covers her mouth with her hands.

“Stuck?!” Azure’s voice echoes, and it’s full of panic. The sound of her grabbing the doorknob and twisting fruitlessly wrenches Lance's heart. “Papa!”

“It’s okay, Azure! I’m right here,” Lance tries to soothe her through the barrier, knowing his voice is probably shaking with worry. “We’ll get you out, I promise!”

Apparently patience is not something she’s inherited from him or Keith. Not that either of them has that quality, anyway. 

There’s a heavy _thump_ against the wood as Azure tries to break herself free. Instead of throwing a tantrum or crying, she’s trying to _fight_ the goddamn door. As if the sheer will and momentum of her tiny body could break the wood. Lance has never felt such a mix of terror and pride in his entire life.

“Stop! You’ll hurt yourself!” Lance urges and is relieved when she obeys and the thumping stops. 

There are more rustling sounds, but Lance hears a tiny sigh. Even through the door, he recognizes it. Azure is a quiet panicker just like him. 

Keith worries out loud, and everyone can tell when he's upset because he becomes the _biggest nag_. Lance had to learn not to bottle his fear or cover it up with jokes. Azure is the same. She probably won’t cry because she’s a tough cookie, but that doesn’t mean she’s not scared. 

He's still learning how to be open with his fears, but maybe he can help Azure now. Even if it's a small step, he can help her learn sooner than he did that it's okay to be scared and still be brave.

“Azure?” he says, voice loud enough for her to hear him but no longer frantically yelling. “Can you take a deep breath with Papa?”

She doesn’t answer, and he can hear her holding back hiccups. Lance swallows nervously; he needs to calm himself down. 

She's his kid, which means she's probably also a helper. Someone who wants others to feel safe—a protector, a defender.

“Papa’s a little scared, but if you can breathe with me, I’ll feel strong again,” he continues, closing his eyes. 

God, he would break the fucking door down with a chair if he could without hurting her. Then he hears her press a hand against the wood, and he mirrors her from the other side. 

“Don’t be scared, Papa. I’m here,” comes Azure’s shaky voice and Lance smiles tenderly. 

His little hero.

Lance walks her through some deep breathing. One big inhale, one big exhale. She follows his instructions and the panic eases in her voice. Lance feels a heavy hand on his shoulder, and he turns around in surprise to see Shiro with a screwdriver. Pidge must’ve gotten him while Lance was calming Azure.

It takes less than a minute for them to unscrew the doorknob and open the door. Azure throws herself into Lance’s embrace, tiny arms wrapping firmly around his neck. He holds her tight, burying his face in her hair. “I got you, jailbird.”

“I can’t believe neither of you had a screwdriver.” Shiro shakes his head with an exasperated tone. Azure recognizes his voice and jumps from Lance to Shiro's arms. Instantly, Shiro notices what she’s wearing and turns to Lance in genuine confusion. “Why is she wearing two pairs of shorts and a backward sweater?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Azure getting stuck behind a broken door is actually based on something that happened to my niece when she was little. Luckily, we actually had a screwdriver to get the doorknob off.
> 
> Please leave kudos and comments! I've loved talking to folks about this fic every week, it makes this story even more special.
> 
> Next chapter - Keith gets bullied by space lesbians!


	5. Hungry Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It felt weird because Lance and Allura were great separately, so I figured it’d be a classic peanut butter cup situation, y’know?” Hunk must notice the confusion that washes over Keith’s face. “Like how peanut butter and chocolate are good apart, but together they’re a delicious snack that balances the other out? Anyway, they weren’t a peanut butter cup at all — they were like toothpaste and orange juice!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone say thanks to VioletFoxTales for making me include more Kosmo and giving me permission for Hunk to smoke.

Keith misses Azure. 

He couldn’t sleep the night before. Instead, he threw himself into the reading provided on Luxuria hoping the reports on their planet’s waning agricultural systems would put him to sleep. They didn’t, so now Keith is tired and knows way too much about Luxuria’s flood patterns. 

It's only been a day, but the ship feels cold and empty without the pattering of Azure's shoes as she runs through the hallways. It's quiet without her questions and friendly greetings. If Keith was in his right mind, he would text Lance for pictures of their day. But Keith isn’t in his right mind — he never is with Lance.

Keith takes a deep breath and presses the button for the elevator leading to the surface of Luxuria. Typically, he hates leaving the ship to go down to the surface of planets during a job, but he knows if he stays around the ship alone any longer, he'll do something he'll regret, like text Lance.

He had fought the urge to check in on Azure all night, letting it boil under his skin. The worry wrapped itself around Keith’s lungs like a thorned vine, threatening to suffocate him at any moment.

Seeing Lance's name on the notification panel of his phone sent the vine recoiling, replaced with the fluttering of his heart. Butterflies he had long thought dead, broke from new cocoons, and were back with a vengeance. Keith knows, logically, he could've texted Lance back a list of Azure's favorite meals, but his thumb had hit the call button faster than his brain could tell him it was a bad idea.

A terrible idea.

Hearing Lance's voice in his ear again brought back so many memories. It used to be a common occurrence as a laugh, or order called through the comms of Voltron. As a taunt thrown over his shoulder as they entered their adjoining rooms in the Castleship. A promise whispered in his ear as Keith allowed himself to be consumed by him from the inside out.

Lance's voice sounds different now. 

Then like an idiot, he told Lance to call him instead of text, promising more phone calls. More opportunities to hear his voice. This new voice. He's purposely slashing open an old wound, cutting right through the scar tissue. Usually, for something like this, Keith would call Shiro for an emergency crisis-level 'Keith-is-catching-feelings' talk-down. 

Only Shiro's on the top of his shit list. Higher than King Kuunia, the stupid leader of the Luxurians who would rather be a difficult blowhard plutocrat than admit his planet's ecosystem is about to collapse. Hell, Zarkon himself could come back, and if it were between him and Shiro, Keith would gladly blast Shiro right back to the Astral Plane.

Okay, that's not true. Keith would never do something that extreme, and Zarkon was a massive pain in the ass and the reason why King Kuunia is his current pain in the ass. 

Keith groans, the beginning of a headache brewing behind his eyes. A side effect from the lack of sleep, he tells himself. He presses the heels of his hands into his eyes in hopes of alleviating the pressure.

Shiro knew everything and still tipped the scales to force Keith’s hand when it came to how and when he’d introduce Lance and Azure. There’s a difference between meddling and betrayal. And bringing Lance to his ship was the ultimate betrayal of his trust. He was protecting Azure from getting hurt and Shiro knew this, too. Shiro knew how deeply Keith was in love with Lance when they were paladins. 

On Earth, before they were deployed to destroy Sendak's Zaiforge Cannon, Keith had spent the entire night in Shiro's room. He had spilled his heart to him, admitting the feelings his brother had probably long suspected. Not that Keith did a great job of hiding it.

"If you feel this way, you should tell him," Shiro had advised, his eyes still misty as he stared blankly at the ceiling. Keith wasn't sure if it was encouragement for him or if Shiro was thoughtlessly speaking as he quietly mourned Adam. Either way, it was the boost he needed.

The next morning, Keith was on his way to the tarmac, where Lance was packing his rover with Veronica. He couldn't go through with this mission without telling him. Regardless of what happened on the battlefield, Lance deserved to know he was loved.

Keith had been pulled aside by Sam Holt to reconfirm a detail of the plan. The conversation must've taken only a minute, but when Keith had looked up, he saw Allura walking toward Lance's rover. She had blushed at Lance, and he had blushed back. Keith's heart had shattered in his chest, sharp edges impaling his ribs and lungs. 

He had walked back to the jeep he'd be traveling in, pretending nothing was amiss. Keith doesn't have any proof, but he has a theory Red had sensed his anguish, and that's why he almost left Lance to rot in the desert.

Shiro is the only one who knows how many times Lance has broken Keith’s heart. He’s who Keith called from his ship after visiting Lance that final time. He's Azure's godfather. Shiro knows how much guilt Keith still drowns in knowing his own jealousy will always cloud his memory of Allura.

Shiro knew this because Keith trusted him. Now he’s left floating without a tether, kicked out a plane without a parachute. Keith doesn’t know how this will end, and he’s terrified for Azure. He’s always seen the best parts of Lance, believed in him instinctively, only to be burnt. He doesn’t know what he’ll do if Azure gets burnt the same way. 

"Keith?"

He's pulled from his thoughts and turns to see Acxa, Ezor, and Zethrid standing around him, looking concerned. Pushing his worry away, he furrows his brow and flips the switch on "Leader Mode."

"What are you three still doing here? The rain hasn’t stopped, and you're supposed to be surface-side providing emergency aid!"

"We were going to, but you've been standing in front of the elevator for, like, ten dobashes," Ezor explains, motioning ahead of them. "It’s opened three times, and you didn't even flinch."

"Oh," he says dumbly as Acxa presses the button and waits for the elevator to arrive again.

“You shouldn't go to Luxuria without us," she advises.

That makes him pause. “Why not?”

“You're still a high-profile target. Sendak-sympathizers want you dead.” As if that was news. “The empire may have fallen but that doesn't mean there aren't former Fire of Purification supporters planning attempts on your life. King Kuunia is suspiciously isolated for a neutral planet. Going surface-side alone is…”

“Reckless?” he offers.

Acxa lets out a long breath. “I was going to say stupid.”

“Wow, never thought you cared that much.”

She gives him a withering stare.

“Look, I'm fine being on my own. I killed Sendak alone,” Keith reminds her. “We have plenty of troops on the ground supporting the relief efforts after the flooding. Daibazaal’s guards have accompanied my mom and Kolivan, not to mention Kuunia’s palace won’t just have me there, but also members of the Alliance. All things considered, I doubt I'll be the most high-profile person hanging around the planet.”

Acxa’s expression shifts, the concerned furrow in her brow giving way to something more intrigued. “You hate diplomacy. Why are you pushing to be part of these meetings?”

“I’m not pushing, I don’t have a choice. Would you rather go?”

“Nope,” she snorts, not an ounce of sympathy in her voice. “Just seems that you’re throwing yourself into work to _avoid_ something.”

Keith’s eyes narrow, obviously caught, but he won’t give her the satisfaction. “This isn’t about Azure if that’s what you’re implying.”

Ezor leans over between Keith and Acxa. “Does this mean we’re going to talk about how your old flame is the mystery father?”

“Worst way to lose 500 GAC,” Zethrid grumbles, annoyance laced in her tone.

Keith studies them for a moment, feeling his headache intensify. “Just what kind of bet did you three have about this?”

“Bold of you to assume it’s only the three of us,” Ezor replies, an easy smirk slipping onto her face.

Without missing a beat, Acxa huffs. “Zethrid had 500 GAC on Allura through some Altean magic. Ezor bet 300 GAC it was Shiro, even though it’s very clear you two aren’t romantic.” She pinches the bridge of her nose between her fingers, like his headache is suddenly contagious. “Most popular bet amongst the crew was it was some backwater rando you hooked up with after the war.”

“Or James Griffin,” Ezor adds, her tail curling across her forehead to mimic the man’s hairstyle. “He was also a popular bet.”

In a strange way, it bothers Keith more than anything that James and Shiro of all people seem to be the top contenders and not Lance. Somehow the idea of them being together is really _that_ inconceivable. Why does it always feel like nobody sees how special Lance is, including the man himself?

The elevator dings, the doors opening like two arms outstretched, before sealing around them in an embrace. Keith attempts to preoccupy himself with staring through the glass as they descend through the levels of the ship. However, Ezor and Zethrid are still bickering about the bet and it’s getting on his nerves.

“Do you ever bet on topics outside of my personal life?” Keith demands.

“Not really,” Zethrid replies, honestly. “Although, there was one bet on what Azure’s first words would be.”

“I won that one,” Ezor preens, wrapping her arms around Keith’s neck from behind and pinching his cheek. “I knew she’d be a daddy’s girl.”

The teasing goes too far, quickly pushing Keith past his breaking point. There’s a lot he’ll let roll off his back, but anything regarding Azure is off-limits.

“Get the _fuck_ off me, Ezor,” Keith hisses, turning to make a swipe at the woman. She leans back against Zethrid, amusement clear across her face. Before she can throw any more insults, a bright blue light appears between them all and with a crackle Kosmo appears in the middle of the car. He’s big enough to push them all against the glass.

“Damnit,” Zethrid grunts, adjusting herself so she’s next to Ezor. “I thought you taught him to stop doing this!”

“It's not my fault he felt I was being threatened,” Keith defends. Once he’s squirmed to a more comfortable position, he runs his hands through the wolf’s mane affectionately. “You’re lucky he’s only here playing mediator.”

Acxa groans, shaking her head. “At least with the wolf around, no one will bother you.”

Keith couldn’t fight with her there. If there was one good thing about having a giant cosmic wolf as an emotional support dog, it’s that it makes people keep their distance.

There's a lurch and soon the lift grinds to a halt as it reaches the surface. The elevator signals they've reached their destination with a delightful ding. The doors swing open, and the five of them pour out in an anxious mob into a hallway.

The hall leads them to an atrium, the glass awning a gateway between their ship and Luxuria's surface. Its rain is not like the familiar tapping of rainfall on Earth, but a violent crashing storm. It doesn’t look like rain so much as it appears the entire planet is being drenched in neverending buckets of water. 

He hasn’t experienced rain since those last few months he was on Earth after defeating Honerva. The invasion and reality shift had reset the planet’s ecosystem in strange ways, including a never-ending drought across the planet. Keith still remembers how the air was dry and full of static that made the elevators of the Garrison zap his fingers when he wasn’t wearing gloves. 

The night before he was scheduled to head out to Daibazaal to join his mother full-time, the sky had parted and released the first rain in months. He had opened all the windows in his small Garrison dorm, leaning outside to take a picture. Keith sent it to Lance intuitively and was surprised to see that Lance had sent Keith a nearly identical picture of the rainstorm from his family’s ranch. A second later, Lance had replied back with, “Jinx!”

Azure isn’t scared of many things, but the thunder that sometimes rolls through storms on Daibazaal makes her nervous. Keith always wonders if it’s just the loudness that bothers her, or if it’s because she’s never been around someone like Lance who could show her the beauty he saw in those powerful summer storms.

Keith lifts his hood up over his head and the women do the same. Their suits are still the same design from when the Blade of Marmora was an underground insurgency group, but instead of being solely for stealth, they’ve been upgraded to withstand near-infinite types of weather patterns. 

After they pass the checkpoint, Keith calls over his shoulder, “I’m heading to the palace. You three lead the evacuation for any stray villagers and bring them to the Alliance’s ships.”

Acxa nods. “Watch your back.”

He waves her off. The irony of three women who’ve all tried to kill him at some point in his life now fretting over his well being is not lost on him. Acxa is nearly out of earshot when Keith speaks up again, “Acxa.” She turns. “Did anyone have any money riding on Lance?”

Her smile is a small and wily thing. “I’ve seen the way you look at him. I had 200 GAC on it.”

“Only 200?”

“It was the only bet on him. Figured there was a reason for the lack of faith."

The pain from her words must show plainly on his face because Acxa looks slightly apologetic, her eyes softening into a sad gaze. Whatever she sees isn't enough for her to extend any sort of verbal sympathy that might help lift the weight Keith is suffocating under. Instead, she quickly turns to join Ezor and Zethrid up to the pathway. Keith sighs, making his leave in the opposite direction.

Kosmo trots next to Keith as they ascend the stairs leading to King Kuunia’s palace. The guards attempt to stop Keith when they see Kosmo, but one toothy growl from the wolf is enough to make them reconsider. 

Once they’re in the lobby, Keith presses a button on the wrist of his suit that dispels the rainwater while Kosmo shakes, drenching a whole row of Kuunia’s guards. Usually, Keith would apologize for it, but he’s in a bad mood and these guys have given him nothing but grief since his team has arrived.

The palace is practically a maze, and Keith has no idea what room his mother and Kolivan are holed up in. Every time he asks for directions, he somehow ends up even more turned around. 

He's frustrated, his anger spiking each time the castle's staff shrugs him off. The lingering hurt of learning no one bet on Lance and him doesn't help either.

It’s a ridiculous thing to be angry about, but it’s the principal of the matter. The two of them were best friends, the co-leaders of Voltron, attached at the hip — why would it be so weird that they fucked?

Turning a corner, Kosmo smells something in the air before zipping away down the hall. Groaning, Keith jogs behind, not in the mood to lose his wolf in this labyrinth. At the end of the corridor, there’s a door with a handle. Kosmo pushes his nose against the door, pawing at it in an effort to get inside. He looks hopefully back to Keith, tail wagging excitedly. He even lets out a couple of yips, hopping around in place. 

“You don't need me to open this when can teleport, you big baby,” Keith complains but opens the door anyway. He struts through the door into an enclosed garden, the same clear glass as the checkpoint arches above. The path continues around a line of trees and leafy floral plants. Iron enforced wooden benches line the walkway, facing the glass wall as rain pounds hard against the window panes.

He’s about to storm back inside when he hears a familiar voice. “Holy cow, _Keith?_ ”

Keith spins around to see Hunk dressed in a chef’s jacket with the first few buttons popped. His hair is shaggier since the last time they’ve seen each other, and he keeps it pushed back with a yellow headband. He charges at Keith and grabs him in a bear hug, lifting him off the ground. There’s nobody else in the universe he’d let hug him like this. Even Kosmo barks with excitement.

“Hunk!” Keith laughs, his frustration seeping away as Hunk brings him back to the ground. “What are you doing here?”

Hunk gives Kosmo a few scratches in greeting before shrugging. “Getting some fresh air or the closest thing to it considering the monsoon outside.”

Keith eyes Hunk as he pulls out a pack of cigarettes, slamming the end of the box on the heel of his hand. He pulls one out with his lips and tilts the carton toward Keith, wordlessly offering him a smoke. Keith recognizes the script on the front of the package as Altean. 

He shakes his head. “I don’t smoke.”

“If Shay asks, me neither.” Hunk chuckles good-naturedly, lighting the tip of the cigarette and taking a drag. The smoke doesn’t have the same musty smell as Earth cigarettes. These have a charred, fruity smell. Like burnt apple pie. 

They walk a few steps to take a seat on a nearby bench. Hunk leans back, exhaling the sweet-smelling smoke. Kosmo is all energy, so Keith picks up something off the ground that looks close enough to a stick and chucks it across the garden. The wolf is gone in a blip.

“I meant what brought you all the way out here?” Keith asks, motioning around them with his hand. “It’s not exactly tourist season on Luxuria.”

“Shay and I just got back from Kuiper’s Belt. We were gonna head back to Earth, but apparently King Kuunia is holding a banquet tomorrow night for the second round of talks with the Alliance,” Hunk explains between drags. “Shiro called me up. Figured it’d be a good gig for the business as we’re still getting our legs under us.”

“Anything I'd like on the menu?”

Hunk winks. “A good chef never reveals his secrets, Keith.”

Keith’s response is interrupted by Kosmo appearing again in a crackle and dropping the stick on Hunk’s lap. It’s covered in drool, but he doesn’t seem to mind and tosses the stick goodnaturedly. This time, Kosmo sprints off to find it.

“It’s funny our paths crossed here, actually,” Hunk says, flicking his ashes over the side of the bench. “I was thinking about you.”

“Why?” Keith asks, suspicious. His friends are all obviously very busy with their lives and hopefully have better things to do than think about him.

“Pidge texted me earlier, and spilled some hot tea,” he explains, and his expression darkens a bit like a rain cloud over the sun. He turns to Keith with a tight frown. “How long?”

“How long what?” Keith can feel the panic rising in the back of his throat, knowing there aren’t many things that would cause Hunk to look at him like that. Did he miss someone’s birthday?

“How long were you planning on not telling us that you and Lance had a _baby_?” Hunk hisses before he dives forward, throwing his arms around Keith and hugging him uncomfortably tight. Keith gasps for breath, trying to squirm free and avoid getting accidentally burnt by the lit cigarette. It's a useless effort.

“Hunk, I can’t breathe!” Keith complains loudly. When Hunk makes no move to let him go, Keith hurriedly answers the question he’s been hoping to avoid. “I was going to tell everyone eventually. Was even planning on bringing Azure to Allura Day this year to meet everyone.”

“But Lance didn’t know?”

Keith goes limp in the embrace. “He didn’t.”

“Oh, Keith,” Hunk groans, pushing Keith back onto the bench so they can make eye contact. Keith exhales, struggling to catch his breath while he sits there, Hunk’s eyes raking over him in disbelief. “How did this all happen?

Hunk looks at him with a patient, uncertain but unwavering stare. He’s leaving the ball in Keith’s court, to share as little or as much as he’s comfortable disclosing. Maybe it’s still a trick question and if Keith reveals just how badly Lance had hurt him, it’ll backfire on him. Still, it’s not enough to dissuade him. He’s tired of carrying this burden alone all this time.

“Things between Lance and me were always so complicated,” Keith admits, crossing his arms over his uniform. “We hooked up during the first Allura Day. The same night the lions left.”

This is the first time he’s told anyone outside of Shiro about what had happened. For years, his feelings for Lance have felt like a pressure cooker inside his chest. He was fearful it would be obvious how much Lance mattered to him, especially to their teammates. Given the wagers he’s heard, it may only have been obvious to him. 

“I remember you asking about Lance the next day.” Hunk flicks more ash over the edge of the bench. “Did he really give you the fuck-n-chuck?”

Keith nods. “I didn’t find out until a couple of months later. Didn’t even know it was possible, really.”

“Can’t blame you there.

“I couldn’t deal with heartbreak and a baby,” Keith admits, staring at his hands. “It was too much.”

A silence stretches between them, Keith stumbling through long-forgotten thoughts of the night he expected to be the start of something wonderful. He's played out the _what if's_ a million times in his head over the year, but in every one, Lance always leaves Keith behind. Forgotten. 

Hunk grabs Keith's hand pulling him from his thoughts like he's a man drowning at sea.

“Look, I love you and Lance across the universe and back a thousand times over — enough to pretend I didn’t notice _all_ the pining during our Voltron days,” Hunk argues. “I know you think it was unrequited, but you weren’t there when Lance was a wet blanket after you left to help Kolivan. He was crushing on you _hard_ , dude. I just don’t think he was ready to accept that part of himself yet.”

“You say that like he wasn’t following Allura around like a lost puppy and —”

“Keith,” Hunk interrupts, quiet and disappointed. Keith actually lets him, not even fighting to try and get his point across. Hunk drops his hand and continues, sounding sympathetic. “I never told you this, but I was the one who pushed Lance to ask Allura out. It was more me trying to support my best bud, and I thought maybe Allura could use some moral support given the whole Honerva drama. It wasn’t until they were actually together that I realized just how awful they were as a couple.”

“Oh, I didn’t know things weren’t good,” says Keith in a bold-face lie. Lance had looked miserable with Allura, and vise-versa. During that stretch of their mission, Keith’s time as their leader was split between being Lance’s emotional boyfriend and their couple’s therapist. It was a role he hated, but eventually, he came to accept it. The reality was, he was never going to be what Lance wanted, and Keith would have always loved him more.

“It felt weird because Lance and Allura were great separately, so I figured it’d be a classic peanut butter cup situation, y’know?” He must notice the confusion that washes over Keith’s face. “Like how peanut butter and chocolate are good apart, but together they’re a delicious snack that balances the other out.”

“Sure?”

“Anyway, they weren’t a peanut butter cup at all — they were like toothpaste and orange juice,” Hunk groans, grimacing at the mental image as he takes another drag. “I was actually gonna ask you about it during Clear Day, but then we got stuck on that ride and you went psycho chainsaw massacre on it.”

“You mean I got us out of that death trap,” Keith corrects. He has a lot to apologize for in his life, but breaking the Clear Day ride is not one of them.

Kosmo trots back over to them without the stick. Instead, he rests his head on Keith’s lap and stretches out along the garden path.

“You should’ve told us about Azure,” Hunk chastises, his tone strict for once. 

“I _did_ tell you guys,” Keith insists, though the stubbornness in his tone makes it clear he’s just saying whatever he wants to believe. He reaches down, distractedly patting Kosmo on the head to try and calm himself down. “At Allura Day, I always talked about —”

“Everything _but_ Lance being her father,” Hunk finishes, leveling a stare at him that could topple mountains. This was the passionate part of Hunk, the one who would do anything for his friends and never let Keith fall for his own bullshit. His gaze is like a truth beam, and Keith can’t lie to him even if he wants to.

“Hunk, it wasn’t just you,” Keith relents, looking away too guilty to meet his gaze any longer. “Only my mom and Shiro knew about Lance.”

“Did Azure know about Lance?”

“Of course she did. I wasn’t trying to hide him from her!” Keith argues because it’s the truth. 

He _was_ going to introduce them one day. This was never meant to be a forever thing, why was it so hard for everyone to see that? Keith cares about Lance — was in love with him once. Even with all the heartbreak he’s suffered, Keith would never take their daughter away from him like some sick game of keepaway. He just needed time. 

“But you did hide her from him,” Hunk concludes, taking another slow drag. “Pidge is planning to kick your ass on Allura Day, so heads up. Knowing her, it could be anything from a slap across the face to an actual death ray.”

Keith groans, leaning forward to rub his hands across his face. “And will you be helping her build the death ray?”

Hunk shakes his head, leaning back on the bench. His eyes land on something in front of them, but Keith can tell his friend is mulling over the next thing to say. 

Of all them, Hunk has always been the most honest about his feelings, but unlike Keith, he doesn’t always share them if he thinks they’ll be too hurtful. Eventually, he closes his eyes and snuffs his cigarette against the arm of the bench.

“This war took a lot from all of us, including Allura. She was one of my best friends and I loved her like a sister,” he says, still not looking at Keith. “It was her choice, but that choice destroyed Lance. I never really understood it — like I said, they were no peanut butter cup. The only time she told him she loved him was before she sacrificed herself, and I think that hurt him more than if she had never said it at all.” 

“Why?”

“Because it means she either said it because she thought he needed to hear it, or she actually meant it but it wasn’t enough of a reason for her to stay.” Hunk shrugs. “I almost lost my family during the Earth occupation, but I got them back. Same with Pidge, and you found your mom. Shiro lost Adam, but he’s gained a second chance at life and a new family with the ATLAS crew. When Lance lost Allura, he lost a lot more than just someone he loved — I think he lost grip on who he was.”

Keith leans forward, hands still buried in Kosmo’s fur. The memories dredge up phantom pain from years ago in a surprising mixture of guilt and sheepishness

“After I found out, I went to Earth to tell Lance, but when I saw him I didn’t even recognize him. I remember thinking just how thin he looked. It wasn’t even hot out, but he was sweating and trembling. He couldn’t look me in the eye and he was rambling on about those fucking flowers and Allura’s message.” He swallows hard, finally admitting something he’s never allowed himself to think about. “There were marks on his arms...”

“Lance is a recovering addict and alcoholic, Keith,” Hunk says clear as day, the truth shaking out like a musty sheet. “He’s been sober for a little over a year and Shiro’s been his quasi-sponsor.”

“Shiro?” Keith echoes, his brain trying to keep up with the new information. Hunk nods.

“Lance lived with him once he was out of rehab. He’s only just gotten his own place a few doors down at the Garrison.”

A cacophony of worries blares in Keith’s mind. How bad was Lance’s addiction? How did Keith not notice that Lance was literally living with Shiro when he spoke to the guy nearly every day? If Lance’s a recovering alcoholic, why did Shiro bamboozle him with the revelation of Azure?

The only worry he doesn’t have is whether or not Azure is safe with Lance. Regardless of how pissed Keith is at Shiro, he knows his brother wouldn’t have done any of this if he felt Azure would be at risk. He loves his goddaughter more than anything and is deeply protective over her wellbeing.

“Pidge and I actually didn’t speak to Lance for a while,” Hunk admits, guilt evident in his tone. “We had this fight while we were visiting him in Cuba, and it was obvious Lance wasn’t in his right mind. Saying this now sounds super messed up, but I just couldn't do it anymore. He's my best friend and watching him spiral knowing it was probably gonna end one of two ways, I just..." he pauses as emotion overtakes him. Tears threaten to spill, and Hunk closes his eyes to stop them from falling. "Lance is such a good guy — the best of us, really. But when he was like that he wasn't the same person. He was mean, petty, and _so_ angry. It was terrifying. I was scared all the time that one of us would get _the call_ from Veronica. I started having Shay look at the texts first 'cause I would get so nervous, I'd puke."

Keith swallows hard, unable to picture it. The last time he had drank with Lance they had gotten tipsy and had sex. He doesn't remember that kind of darkness revealing itself, but maybe it was always there beneath the surface and Keith hadn’t wanted to see it. He tries not to overthink how thoughtless it was for them to serve wine during dinner the other night. Shiro should have spoken up or at least made an excuse to remove the wine from Lance’s presence. 

"After he was clean for a few months, Lance called Pidge and me to meet him while he was visiting his family for the day. I don't know why cause he hasn't lived there in over a year. Maybe he wanted to apologize at the scene of the crime," Hunk chuckles at his own joke. "Ah man, there was so much hurt on all sides. The three of us even talked through the crap that had happened back at the Garrison. Still, we did it and I'm so thankful. We're better friends for it, and I know I'm a better person for having Lance back in my life. He's my best friend."

“What was the fight about?” Keith doesn’t even know why he’s asking since it’s none of his business. The corner of Hunk's eyes crinkle when he smiles knowingly.

“You, of course.” Hunk snorts, shaking his head and Keith couldn’t stop his blush if he tried. “I don’t think I’ve ever met two people who make each other so miserable and so happy at the same time. It’s exhausting being your friend sometimes, dude. It’s like watching a soap opera and we’re hundreds of episodes in and the main romantic duo still won’t admit how they feel about each other.”

Lance’s words from before ring in his mind. _“You didn’t believe in me enough to give me a chance.”_

Keith grips the front of his uniform, his heart beating in his ears. “I never thought it was like that for him, too. It felt one-sided for so long that I stopped hoping and let him go. When I saw him again he said he loved me. Even though he said it, I still can’t let myself believe he cares that much for me.”

“I’m not gonna ride you for how you handled this, 'cause I know you'd never intentionally hurt each other. And to be honest, this situation is such a mess, not even a Weblum would eat it,” Hunk jokes, raising his hands up in mock surrender when Keith glares at him for the Weblum reference. “I just wanted to give you some context as to where Lance has been these last few years and why he's been fighting so hard. Lance told me that getting clean was the hardest thing he's ever done, and it’s still day-by-day. But I don’t think he did it only for himself, not with his self-worth issues. I think he did it to be the guy worthy of your time — and I know he’ll stay clean for Azure. You don't need me to tell you how much he's gonna adore that kid."

Keith opens his mouth to defend himself and then finds himself hesitating, stopping to really think about Lance’s words to him from the night before. 

_“I know I would’ve done better for her, too.”_

It’s clear Lance really meant them, that he’s done the work to reach this point in his sobriety and he considers it something monumental he’s even around to meet Azure. Keith’s proud of this mindset, that Lance is finally seeing the value in himself Keith so desperately tried to reveal to him. Sure, there’s a bittersweet brand of sadness there, a melancholic yearning for what could’ve been if things had been easier, but that’s it. No anger. No fury. No desire for vengeance. 

Hunk checks his watch and raises to his feet with a groan. “And with that, I’m officially off my break. I gotta check to see if Shay managed to tenderize the Bharud steaks for tomorrow.”

Keith follows him down the path toward the palace kitchens. “What’s Bharud steak?”

“It’s like a filet mignon, but with a citrusy aftertaste,” Hunk explains, laughing when Keith’s brows furrow. “Don’t worry, man. I won’t poison you.”

Keith smiles. At least that’s one attempt on his life he won’t have to worry about during his stay. The two of them walk in comfortable silence until they reach the two-way swing doors leading to the main kitchen.

“This is my stop,” Hunk announces, turning around to give Keith a tight but far less bone-crushing hug. “It’s always good to see you, man. We're gone after tomorrow, but let's try to hang before Allura Day. I'd love to meet my niece."

Keith can't help but laugh. By the end of this week, Azure will have more family than she'll know what to do with. "I'd like that, Hunk. Let's make it happen."

Hunk slaps him on the back good-naturedly. “And give Lance a call when you can, yeah? It won’t hurt.” Hunk gives Kosmo one more goodbye pet before he heads through the double-doors. 

It only takes a moment for Keith to pull his communicator from his uniform pocket. 

A lot has happened in the last three years, and Keith still isn’t sure he can wrap his head around Lance’s sobriety or the amount of pain he must have felt to have gone to such destructive means just to cope with it. Hunk is wrong about it hurting, but that doesn’t mean he’s wrong about calling.

And so, Keith makes his way to a quiet corner in the palace corridor and dials a once familiar number.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pining, grumpy Keith is my favorite type of Keith! As always, thanks VioletFoxTales for making everything better.
> 
> Please leave comments and thoughts below - you know how much I love them!
> 
> Next chapter - Lance, Shiro, and Azure go to the zoo!


	6. Game of Hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance catches the boy's mother huffing at Shiro, “You should worry about that girl of yours — she’s small but her temper’s savage like a Galra!”
> 
> Azure hears this and stops squirming in Lance’s hold, her face falling in confusion. He can tell by the look in her eyes that she knows it’s an insult.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again, everyone! There's another wink to one of my favorite fics in this chapter - this time it's "Save a Lion, Ride a Cowboy" by BBBK. Think of these as klance fic writer easter eggs. 
> 
> THANK YOU to VioletFoxTales - not only did she have to beta this super long chapter, but she also had to explain genetics to me and correct that lions have "muzzles" and not snouts. She contains multitudes. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Lance imagined the Garrison’s Wildlife Conservation would be something like the zoos he visited as a kid. There'd be large chimpanzees, elephants, and snakes large enough to swallow a poodle — but in the warming sunshine, the reality feels more like a farm with all the wrong animals. 

Out in the grassy field, a giraffe looks just wrong. Lance wonders how she feels when the cold desert air hits at night. Do they keep her in a barn? Put a coat on her? Does she _mind_?

Shiro explains that after Sendak's forces devastated Earth, the planet's ecosystem was on the verge of collapse. Conservations like this allowed for endangered species to live in protected, artificial habitats. Now, other organizations strive to undo the environmental damage of the invasion. It's been years since Earth was occupied, and sometimes Lance forgets the planet is still healing.

Regardless of Lance's complicated feelings about the situation, Azure is all wide eyes and smiles. It's her first day on Earth, and it's almost as if the planet is trying to make a good first impression. They lucked out weatherwise—clear skies with not a rain cloud in sight. 

After freeing Azure from the bedroom, changing her into suitable clothing, and tying her hair in a half-up braid, Shiro suggested they visit the Wildlife Conservation. Pidge declined the invitation, citing allergies to all animals ever, so it’s just the three of them. Apparently, it’s Shiro’s day off, and a tiny part of Lance is thankful to have him around. He’s still shaken from this morning’s incident. 

How can he trust himself with Azure for the whole week if he’s already traumatized her on day one?

In the car ride from the Garrison grounds, Shiro lowered the roof of his jeep, so Azure could enjoy the wind in her hair, and a better view of Earth's blue skies.

Lance sat in the back with her, trying to hear her questions over the roar of the wind. Most were some version of, "What's that?" as they passed things along the highway. She asked about a field of wildflowers, a stable of horses, and a hitchhiker on the side of the road.

"Can we be his friend, Papa?" Azure asked, pointing out the window. Lance lowered his aviators, peering over them to see the vagabond, their thumb out nonchalantly. 

"Absolutely not," he replied, gently pushing her hand out of view as Shiro tried to hide his snickering from the driver’s seat. 

Azure holds onto Shiro’s non-mechanical hand, practically tugging him along as they walk the predetermined path designed to allow visitors to see every animal. Lance keeps his sunglasses on, not really in the mood to be recognized and explain his marks to strangers. 

Being one of the former-paladins of Voltron doesn’t mean much in these times of peace. Between the five of them, Shiro and Keith are probably the most well-known, but if Hunk keeps playing his cards right, Lance can see him catapulting to the top of the celebrity chef world. These days, if Lance is ever stopped on the street by someone, it’s usually to take a photo which inevitably turns into questions about his Altean marks. 

“Lions!” Azure announces as if saying the animal’s name will somehow lure them out of their field of green tufts.

“Azzy, slow down we’ll get there,” Shiro smiles good-naturedly, but allows himself to be led by Azure. She throws her Keith Face over her shoulder as if every second they aren’t at the lion exhibit is unacceptable. Looking ahead, her tiny brows are furrowed. She’s a girl on a mission.

“Has she ever seen a real lion before?” Lance asks, trailing behind and carrying Azure’s tiny backpack on his shoulder. He still isn’t sure what kind of personal belongings a three-year-old is compelled to take with her everywhere. Nevertheless, she informed Lance he was in charge of carrying her bag today as if she was bestowing upon him the grand duty of guarding the Hope Diamond.

Shiro shakes his head. “Keith said she’s into animals now, so I figured it’s a good day trip before I leave for Luxuria tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow? I thought you said Monday?”

“Diplomatic talks broke down again, and Kolivan thinks if I’m there from the Garrison we can encourage the Luxurians to return to the negotiating table,” Shiro explains, exhaustion edging his voice. “I booked a room on one of the Alliance’s cruisers.”

“If you're heading back so soon, why didn’t you just stay with Keith?”

“Usually I would, but considering he currently isn’t speaking with me, I’m pretty sure if I came within shooting distance of his ship, Acxa wouldn’t hesitate to fire.”

“C'mon, man. That seems a little dramatic, even for him,” Lance presses, and Shiro pulls out his phone from his pocket. He opens his text conversation with Keith. His last text to Shiro was just a wall of knife emojis. “Huh, I stand corrected. Keith's still a secret drama gay.”

So much for him not being a big texter.

"How long you think he's gonna hold this grudge for?" Lance asks when Shiro puts his phone away.

“As long as it takes,” Shiro shrugs. “I get where he’s coming from, though. Keith hates surprises, and bringing you along was the ultimate blindside.”

“God, I’m sorry, Shiro. You only took me along because I wouldn’t stop asking. This is all my fault.”

Shiro glances at Lance from under his silver bangs. “What makes you think this is all your fault?”

“Taki! Taki! Uncle Taki!” Azure interrupts and Shiro turns his attention downward.

“Azzy, I’m talking,” he scolds, sternly but fairly. “Say excuse me if you want my attention.”

Shiro waits until Azure takes his directive. She sighs with enough melodrama to deflate her entire body. “ _‘Cuse me_ , Uncle Taki?”

“Yes, Azzy?” Shiro smiles as if this is the true beginning of their conversation.

“What’s that?” she asks, pointing to a small hut off the path. The sign lists the names of several different snakes and cobras. Lance shivers. He isn’t a fan of things that can crawl without legs.

“That’s where the snakes live,” Shiro replies, making a slithering motion with his robotic hand. “They’re animals that live in the desert and wiggle because they don't have feet. Do you want to go see them?”

The description makes Azure's slightly upturned nose scrunch in disgust. Lance can't blame her, that was the creepiest way to describe snakes he’s ever heard. 

“No,” Azure answers quickly, turning her head away to Lance’s relief. His kid has taste. It doesn’t take long until she's back on the move. “Lions!”

“She’s very goal-focused for a toddler,” Lance notes to Shiro as they pass the snake den. He spots at least three other children clambering to get inside. “Most kids get distracted by every shiny thing that catches their attention.”

“More like she’s stubborn. Once she gets her mind on something, there’s no stopping her." Shiro groans, a bit overexaggerated while ensuring Azure didn't lead them too far off the pre-made paths in the conservation. “Like father, like daughter."

"Which one?"

"Honestly? Both of you."

Lance finds himself laughing, but then he feels his mood darken as it often does when he’s just started to enjoy himself. Pidge’s words from this morning still sit heavy in his heart. He believes that if Pidge had known the truth about Azure, she would've told him. But if he had gone to Allura Day would Keith have told him?

Glancing at Shiro through his sunglasses, he hasn't noticed Lance spacing out, too preoccupied with directing Azure away from marching into people’s shins. The vise that's wrapped itself around his heart since yesterday tightens its grip. Shiro and Azure are so comfortable together Lance can’t shake the feeling that he’s somehow third-wheeling. 

They stop at a map of the conservation, and Shiro picks up Azure as they try to locate where the lions are stationed. Closing his eyes, Lance takes a deep breath through his nose and out his mouth. Logically, he recognizes he's setting himself on a shame cycle and needs to stop himself from spiraling.

His therapist has called these shame cycles Lance's Sneaky Critic. The only way to shut them up is to not delve too deep into the should've, would've, could've’s. He can't worry about the past. It'll drive him Slav-level crazy.

"Papa!"

Lance's ears ring when Azure calls him. He turns and she extends her hands toward him, making grabby motions. Despite himself, a soft smile tugs at the corner of his lips. Carefully, Lance takes her from Shiro's hold, propping her up on his hip.

"Where are the lions…" she frets, pouting at the map as if it should answer her request. Beside them, Shiro skims down the directory. 

Within a tick of scanning the map Lance is able to find what they're looking for — they don't call him a sharpshooter for nothing.

"Got 'em," Lance says, tapping the spot on the map. "Lions are in the clearing on the opposite side of the butterfly sanctuary."

Shiro's head pops up to confirm then gives Lance a fist-bump with his non-robotic hand. "Nice to see you still got that good eye."

"Lions?" Azure asks with a hopeful tone. Shiro pinches the baby fat of her cheeks, teasingly. Lance assumes Azure will want to go back to Shiro, but instead she wraps her arms tighter around his neck. His heart stutters, equal parts relieved and surprised by her embrace.

Lance doesn't mind carrying her the rest of the way, and the three of them fall into a comfortable silence. It lasts for all of five minutes before Azure spots the artwork signaling the lion's den.

“Lions! Lions!” she yells, having no sense of volume. She pushes away from Lance in an attempt to free herself from his grasp, lest it keeps her away from the lions a second longer. Azure grunts, pushing her feet against Lance’s chest trying to escape. “Lions!”

“Azure, stop it, you’re going to hurt yourself!” Shiro scolds and the girl goes limp in Lance’s arms. She hangs backward like a ragdoll. Drama runs in the McClain blood, and Lance recognizes the move.

It doesn’t phase Shiro a bit. “Don’t give me that, you know better.”

She pouts, crossing her arms as she hangs like a very put-out fruit bat. Lance sighs and forces her to sit up straight, not needing all the blood to go to her head. He crouches down until her feet touch the ground. Shiro sighs, extending his hand out for her to take.

“Now if you’ll just wait — _AZURE_!” 

Like a flash, she’s off like a starting gun went off. She bolts down the path toward the lions, her sundress blowing. Somehow, her tiny body is very aerodynamic as Lance needs to sprint to even come within grasp of her. Lance's heart jumps in his throat as Azure’s shoe gets caught on an uneven piece of concrete, tripping her. Shiro grunts, extending his mechanical arm and shooting it off like an air rocket. It’s not fast enough, and she wipes out on the concrete. It’s a nasty enough fall that people around them gasp.

“Azure!” Lance calls, skidding to a stop next to her. 

She sits up slowly, whimpering, and looking at her tiny hands and knees. Her dress did little to shield her, and she’s scraped, bloody and raw, from her fall. While her chin isn’t cut, she does have indents from the gravel. Lance freezes, waiting for the outburst of tears he's sure is coming. 

They don't come.

"Ow…" Azure whispers and Lance isn't sure if it's to him or to herself. She seems shocked the gravel could hurt so much. Lance is still frozen, scared to touch her in case she breaks and finally starts wailing. 

“Oh no, did you fall down, princess?”

Lance turns when he sees one of the conservationists, a middle-aged woman with a round face, short haircut, and lanyard keychain with cartoon lions around her neck. She’s holding a First Aid kit, crouching down so she’s eye-level to where Azure is sitting on the ground, her little hands held up in the air.

“Yeah,” Azure sniffs, still holding back her tears. Lance doesn’t know why, but it bothers him that she’s not allowing herself to cry. He’s unsure if it’s because she’s with him and Shiro or if she’s just stubborn. 

“Well, we can’t have that now can we!” The woman shakes her head, still smiling as she opens the kit. “Your, uh— ” She glances between Lance and Shiro, obviously unsure of the relationship.

“Uncle,” Shiro offers, pointing to himself and then to Lance. “Dad.”

“ _Papa_ ,” Azure corrects—and yup, definitely stubborn. Either way it makes the woman chuckle.

“Your _Papa_ and uncle don’t want you to get hurt, yeah? Gotta be careful around the lion’s den.”

It’s the first time he’s heard someone else acknowledge him as Azure’s _Papa_ and it throws him for a loop. He’s trying not to get so hung up on the title, but it still makes this all the more real. 

The woman takes out an antiseptic wipe while Lance rubs tiny circles on Azure’s back.

“Now this may hurt, hon,” she warns, and Azure presses her mouth into a tiny line and nods. Lance feels her tense when the woman cleans the wounds on her hands and knees and clears the gravel from her chin. “Atta girl, you’re so brave!”

“Thank you,” Azure replies softly and Lance bites his cheek. She's well-mannered even when she's hurt. The woman takes out a few bandages, each decorated with different animal designs.

“Which one’s your favorite, dollface?” It’s no surprise when she picks the ones with colorful lions. The woman nods. “A solid choice.”

Azure is patient when the woman covers up her hands and knees with the bandages. She’s relaxed a bit now, and the tension leaves her once the bandages are firmly in place. Holding her palms up, Azure is fascinated by the lion bandages on her hands. Once she’s all cleaned and bandaged, Lance takes her back into his arms and stands.

“What do you say to the nice woman?” he asks, balancing her on his hip so she can face the worker. Azure looks up from her hands.

“Thank you!” she cheers, her mood bouncing back in a way only small children can after a nasty fall. The woman smiles, gives them a small wave goodbye before heading down the path. Lance feels Azure lean over his shoulder to shout, “I like your necklace!”

The woman stops, looks down at her lanyard, and notices the lions. When she looks back up she shouts back, “You’re a lady of taste.”

Azure waves goodbye excitedly as Lance carries her toward the lion exhibit. “You’re a charmer, aren’t you?”

She leans back to face him, nose scrunched up because she doesn’t understand what he's talking about. Lance doesn’t have a chance to explain it before Shiro takes her attention.

“See Azure, this is why we don’t run,” he says sternly, picking up her chubby leg to show her the bandaged scrape. “Will you listen to me and Papa from now on?”

Azure pouts and nods, leaning forward to hide her face in Lance’s shoulder. When she wraps her arms tightly around his neck, the urge to scold her disappears. Shiro sighs, walking ahead to get tickets for the lion exhibit. 

“Looks like she’s already got you wrapped around her finger.”

Lance can’t even be annoyed because it's true.

* * *

In the summer daylight, even within the confines of the conservation and behind plexiglass, the lion’s simply golden with sleek fur laid over his elegant frame and lean muscle. His nose is broad and his eyes are a soft yellow-brown, large and dark-rimmed. 

With golden paws crossed in front of his muzzle and a shaggy brown mane, the lion's rib cage expands and falls with the rhythm of one in deep sleep, yet he’s conscious and alert. 

The lion yawns like it’s been a tiring day waiting for dinner to be caught. There’s a flash of pink and the sight of a long tongue. Then in one fluid movement, he’s up from his rock and stretching just the same as a house-cat.

Lance and Shiro relax on bleachers, watching as Azure sits on a mat a few feet away with other small children. Turns out, there’s a children’s tour for this exhibit that offers information about the lions. It definitely seems like that kind of thing that should be booked in advance, but once the ticket booth attendee recognized Shiro, they had been provided an extra spot for Azure free of charge. It’s a nice gesture, all things considered.

While the kids learn all about the lions and their habitats, Lance leans back on the warm metal of the bleachers. The den has open, airy ceilings, allowing enough sun in for him to warm his skin. It doesn’t do much to raise his sour mood. 

“Are you upset that Azure fell?” Shiro asks from his seat a row above him, but it’s more of a demand given his tone. “She’s a kid, Lance. They’re going to fall down sometimes. Especially when they run ahead and don’t listen.”

Lance stretches out his long legs, jeans rolled up at the ankles, and his sneakers tapping against the ground in an anxious dance. Looking up at Shiro through his sunglasses he asks, “Why doesn’t she cry?” 

Shiro seems taken back by the question as if he’s never noticed before. It’s only been a day Lance has noticed, but then again it’s been a very eventful day. In typical McClain fashion, Azure has managed to get herself into a whole lot of trouble in a mere few hours.

“She holds back her tears. I saw it when saying goodbye to Keith, then again today when she got stuck in the bedroom and just now after she fell," Lance clarifies, turning back to where Azure is sitting on the mat. “It's not that she isn’t capable of crying, but it's like she’s stopping herself. Is it a Galra thing? Did being raised by a bunch of emotionally stunted aliens teach her that crying isn’t okay?”

Shiro chuckles. “I wish it was that simple, but she’s always been like that. Even when she was tiny, she only cried when she was left in her crib for too long and got lonely. Keith had to carry her around the ship in a sling.”

The image of Keith carrying Azure around flashes through his mind, as if his feeble heart needs any more confirmation on how much Lance had missed while on Earth.

“What does he think about it?” 

“He doesn’t say it, but I can tell it bothers him too,” Shiro explains, turning to watch the lion pacing around. “When she gets hurt, he’d ask if she won’t cry for him, would she cry for — ”

Shiro stops suddenly as if realizing something about what he’s going to say. It piques his interest, but Lance knows better than to pry—it’s a waste of time. Shiro’s a steel trap when he wants to be.

“Anyway, it’s nothing out of the ordinary,” Shiro says, and Lance can tell the topic is not worth breaching further. “I’m more interested in how quickly she’s adapting to Earth. I was worried the change in the atmosphere may be an issue for her.”

“She did get jet-lagged on the way here, and I forgot to wake her up earlier so she could readjust her clock,” Lance groans, guilt evident in his voice. “Can’t even wake her up on time.”

Shiro’s eyes narrow. “That’s the second time you’ve done that.”

“Done what?”

“Blamed yourself for something that isn’t your fault.”

Lance grimaces, the call out so direct and blatant. He buries his face in his hands. 

Stinking thinking, as his counselor called it, is one of Lance's red flags. His negative thought process that places everything on his shoulders, and makes it difficult for him to ask for help. In the past, this cycle of shame reduced Lance’s self-esteem to the point that he didn't feel worthy of a better life. It's still a sneaky trap, and Lance needs to make conscious efforts to reframe his thinking.

"Hey," Shiro says, placing his mechanical hand on Lance's shoulder, making him to look at him. "What are you feeling?"

This is how Shiro checks in on him now, knowing well enough that asking Lance if he's 'okay' will prompt him to respond with the automatic response and not the truth. Instead, Shiro leaves the question open for Lance to fill in for himself with an honest answer.

That’s the thing about mental health, it’s unlearning harmful coping mechanisms and relearning better ways of thinking. Creating new habits and thinking patterns in your brain that are healthier. It's medical but also psychological. 

Lance pulls his package of strawberry gum from his jacket pocket, offering a piece to Shiro who politely shakes his head. He pops a piece into his mouth.

“Overwhelmed, nervous, scared,” he answers, and pauses between chews before adding, “Guilty.” 

“Those are appropriate feelings,” Shiro assures him, and Lance runs his hands through his hair with a groan. “Is it all bad though?”

Lance tilts his face up toward the clear blue sky peeking in through the open roof of the exhibit. 

“No, it’s not. I’m also excited and strangely a little bit happy because...well, I’ve always wanted to be a dad, y’know? That part doesn’t scare me, it’s more about being a dad _now_ with Keith,” Lance explains, turning back to look at Shiro. “I’m pretty sure he hates my guts, and I don’t blame him. But now, because I made you let me join that mission, Keith is pissed at you, too.”

“Look, how you and Keith want to handle your relationship is between the two of you, and you didn’t make me do anything,” Shiro assures him, voice stern. “I knew you needed to seek his forgiveness and that there was a little girl out there who needed you, too. I can handle Keith being mad at me because I stand by my decision. I do wish I hadn’t had to hurt him to do it, but Keith always needs to do things the hard way.”

“I missed three years of her life, though.” Lance groans, rubbing his face again. “If I had reached out to Keith earlier —”

“You would’ve rushed to impulsively make amends without taking the time you needed to heal,” Shiro finishes.

“You don’t know that.”

“And neither do you. Your decisions were based on where you were at the time. I promise that you taking the time you needed makes you a better parent now than if you had rushed through it half-heartedly.”

Lance takes a deep breath. “That sounds so sane I can’t even argue with you.”

“Good, now stop beating yourself up. I wouldn’t have brought you with me to Daibazaal if I didn’t think you were deserving of it, Lance. You’re her father and Azure adores you. You and Keith are both allowed a second chance at this, and trust me those don’t come easy.”

In Lance’s peripheral vision, he catches activity on the mat where the children are listening to the conservationist. One of the conservationists points to the lion behind the glass, and each of the kids stands to take their turns to see the animal. Azure waits with another girl in the middle, showing her the lion bandages on her hands. Then an older boy shoves through the line, elbowing through to cut in front of the younger kids. He knocks over the girl next to Azure, sending her falling backward to the ground hard.

“ _Cuse me_!” Azure calls to get the boy’s attention as she helps the girl up. “You should say sorry.”

The boy turns around and snaps, "What?

“You hit her,” Azure says, pointing at the girl who’s tearfully gotten back to her feet. “Say sorry for hitting her.”

The boy sneers at her, before shoving through more kids with his shoulder. The worker turns to lightly tell the children to behave, but it does nothing to de-escalate the situation. 

Azure grabs the back of the boy’s shirt with both hands in an iron grip, stopping him in his tracks. Lance leaps to his feet to scurry over to the mat in hopes of getting to Azure before something more serious happens. Shiro is right behind him.

“Say sorry!” she repeats, refusing to let go of the boy’s shirt, and it's obviously bothering him.

“Azure, let him go!” Shiro scolds, but she is adamant. Even bracing her feet to keep from losing balance as he twists his body in an attempt to shake her off.

“Get off me, you stupid baby!” the boys grunts and elbows Azure in the side of the face, breaking her grip on him. She stumbles backward, falling on her bottom. Shocked at being struck, she holds her face in her hands.

“Azure!” Lance calls, rushing to his daughter’s side while Shiro demands to see the boy’s parents. “Are you okay?”

She frowns, looking past Lance and glaring at the boy over his shoulder. It’s a mix of hurt, anger, and a dash of fear. He _knows_ that look. It’s the same one Keith used to get before he did something stupid, like charge head-first into a fight he couldn’t win.

Like a sixth sense, Lance intercepts Azure’s lunge toward the boy right as it happens, his hands quick enough to grab hold of her before she can lay a hand on him. “Woah! No, no, _no_ — that is so not happening!”

“He hurt her, Papa!” Azure insists loudly, pointing to the girl who is now crying to her mother. “He didn’t say sorry! You should say sorry if you hurt someone!”

“That doesn’t mean you have to fight with him,” Lance replies in as calm of a voice as he can manage, but it does little to comfort Azure. She’s hurt, but also full of righteous fury. Pulling herself over his shoulder, she spots the boy. Unsurprisingly, he’s crying crocodile tears to his mother as she smothers him with affection while scolding Shiro.

“Say sorry!” Azure screams, ignoring Lance entirely. It gains the attention of the boy’s mother. She seems scandalized by the outburst as the boy pretends to cry louder. “Uncle Taki, tell him to say sorry!”

“Azure, stop it or we’re going to leave the lions!” Lance declares, but she’s so far into her tantrum nothing will appease her until the boy apologizes. She kicks in his hold, thrashing to free herself. Lance has no choice but to lift her up from the ground and stand, but it does little to restrain her. 

Between her yells, Lance catches the boy's mother huffing at Shiro, “You should worry about that _girl_ of yours — she’s small but her temper’s savage like a Galra!”

Azure hears this and stops squirming in Lance’s hold, her face falling in confusion. He can tell by the look in her eyes that she knows it’s an insult. A spark flares within him, anger boiling his blood. 

If this was a year ago, he’d have no problem getting in this woman’s face on an impulsive high fueled by rage. But he won’t do that now, especially with Azure. He needs to be better than that for her, so he clenches his teeth to keep from losing his temper and storms out of the lion’s den before he does something he’ll regret.

He doesn’t stop until he finds a bench, taking a seat with Azure on his lap. Looking down, Lance sees that her face is still scrunched up and pouty. It’s unclear if she’s still mad about leaving the lions, the bully or his awful mother. Lance takes a deep breath to calm himself, snapping his gum mindlessly. 

“Papa?” Azure asks, peering up at his face until he cracks the gum again. It startles her a bit, but she asks, “Do it again?”

It takes him a second to realize what she means, but then he stretches the gum across his teeth. He snaps it loud enough to make Azure jump and then slowly giggle. Then he blows a dark pink bubble. She’s mesmerized until he stops blowing it. Squinting her eyes, she pokes the bubble with her index finger and squeals in delight when it pops, sticking to Lance’s nose.

“How’d you do that?” she asks, raising her hands to Lance’s jaw after he’s peeled the gum from his face. “It’s funny.”

Lance figures Keith never introduced their daughter to the stickiness of bubble gum. It’s most likely for the best, he remembers how often his sisters would get it stuck in their hair.

“Magic,” he says instead, giving her a wink. This seems to appease her for now, and he lightly runs a hand along her cheek where she was struck by the boy's elbow. “Does it hurt?”

Azure catches on to what he means and shakes her head, inky waves bouncing. Then her eyes glanced down at her lap, her palms face up. She doesn’t look at him when she asks, “What does _savage_ mean?”

She’s smart enough to know that the context of the word isn’t a good one. This is something Lance wasn’t expecting to deal with today, but the lingering prejudice some Earthlings have against Galra isn’t uncommon. The losses from Sendak’s invasion are still fresh in people’s minds.

Azure’s genealogy is mostly human, but being the offspring of the first half-Galra Earthling makes her about a quarter-Galra. Though she’s petite and human-passing that doesn’t mean some Galra traits couldn’t emerge as she gets older, like how Keith’s scleras sometimes glow yellow and his pupils constrict to slits when he’s up against a dangerous enemy.

Lance hasn’t been off-planet nearly enough to gauge if the attitude towards those of mixed race has improved since the war, but he’s certain there’s no way Keith would let anyone with that kind of mindset anywhere near his ship. Being around so many Blade members, Azure has probably interacted with more people of Galra descent than humans.

Sighing, he runs his hand soothingly along her cheek. “It means cruel or violent. Like a bully. It’s not a nice thing to call someone.”

“Why would that lady say Galra are bullies?” Azure asks, trying to piece together information Lance knows makes no logical sense. Xenophobia never does. “Lala and Daddy aren’t bullies, they help people. Auntie Acxa, Auntie Ezor, and Auntie Zethrid help people, too.”

“And _you_ aren’t a bully, either,” Lance assures her. He pushes his sunglasses up on top of his head, and tilts her chin up so their eyes lock. “People who say things like that are the real bullies. That’s why you can’t stoop to their level and provoke them, you’ll prove them right.”

“But he was a bad boy,” Azure insists, pointing back toward the lion's den with a stubborn pout. “He should’ve said sorry!”

“He should’ve, but you don’t get someone to apologize by fighting with them. Once you hurt someone too, you’re not right anymore. It hurts more people.”

She kicks her legs, swinging them as she thinks. “Even bad boys?”

“Even bad boys.”

“What happens if I hurt the bad boys?” Azure asks, face scrunching up. “Will I get in trouble?”

It’s clear she’s trying to figure out the line here, most likely trying to see if the punishment is worth it. Lance knows he needs to tell her something mildly threatening to deter her, but not scare her too much. The last thing he needs is for Keith to call him up and rip him a new one for traumatizing their daughter. As if getting trapped in a bedroom and experiencing bigotry isn’t enough.

“You’ll get into _so much_ trouble, you’ll get locked up in _jail_ ,” Lance settles on, poking her in the tummy to make her giggle. “Gone forever! You won’t see me, or Daddy or Uncle Taki ever again.”

“No, I won’t,” she argues, shaking her head stubbornly. “You’re being silly, Papa.”

“Nope, I’m very serious. You’ll be a real jailbird!” He grins, tickling her again and making her squeal with laughter. “Little jailbirdie, cause you’ll be a bad girl!”

“I’m not a bad girl! I’m a good girl!”

“Hmm, is that so?” Lance pretends to think about it, tapping his chin. “Guess you’re not a jailbirdie yet then, huh? You’re just a regular birdie.”

It makes her giggle and he can’t help but smile too, taking hold of her tiny bandaged hands, he kisses the backs of each one. 

He’s probably biased, but he knows Azure truly is a good kid. Keith’s parenting shines through her actions—she’s smart, brave, and kind. He can also tell she feels things deeply like Lance does, and he knows that can be a double-edged sword. She’s a bit impulsive and hot-headed, too. She could have easily ended up being a spoiled, military brat. Instead, she’s well-behaved, sensitive and empathic.

Outside the exit of the lion’s den, Lance spots the silver gunmetal of Shiro’s arm as he approaches the bench. Besides him is the boy from before and his mother. He isn’t sure what Shiro has managed, but he can tell by the guilty look in their eyes they aren’t here to cause any more trouble.

Shiro stops in front of them, staring down at the young boy expectantly. The boy’s mother nudges him in the back with a shrill hiss. “Now, Norman!”

The boy, clearly Norman, shuffles his feet and Azure turns in Lance’s lap to face him. He looks pained, his face blotchy and nose still snotty from crying earlier. 

Norman stares at his shoes when he mumbles something under his breath. Azure’s nose scrunches as she tries to hear what he’s saying. His mother pinches the baby fat on the back of his neck, and the boy wails.

“I said, I’m sorry for hurting you and your friend!” he relents, looking at Azure with a furrowed brow. “Okay?”

Azure blinks, obviously not expecting this outcome. In Lance’s defense, he wasn’t either. Before he even needs to prod her, Azure smiles brightly

“Okay. I’m sorry, too.” She extends her hand out for Norman to take. He stares at her hand suspiciously before slowly taking it, and Azure shakes it with comic exaggeration. Norman’s mother turns to Lance, her entire dementor shifting from earlier.

“I am so sorry for my son’s actions, sir,” she says, holding her hand to her heart. “I had no idea her father was one of the former paladins of Voltron! My son looks up to each of you like heroes. To think, I compared your family to the filthy Galra — how rude of me!”

Shiro gives her a sharp look and is ready to call her out, but Lance beats him to it.

“My family _is_ Galra, ma’am,” he replies simply, hitting the bullseye with his words as well as he ever did with a rifle. “I’m not going to demand an apology, but you should consider how your actions reflect on you and influence your son.” 

The kid could probably get a better role model than a bunch of teenagers who piloted a war machine, but Lance keeps _that_ to himself.

The woman gasps, a mix of embarrassment and outrage. Not having anything else to say, she takes her son by the arm and tugs him away from the bench, dragging him down the path towards one of the other exhibits. Shiro lets out a long exhale and flops on the bench next to Lance.

“Proud of you for not losing your cool back there,” he says, extending his non-robotic hand for a fist bump. Lance taps it lightly. “I know I nearly did.”

“Papa almost went to jail!” Azure says, turning around to point at Lance with a tiny finger. “Jailbird!”

It’s enough to pull a laugh from his chest and he taps her nose. “No, you’re the jailbirdie.”

“ _No_ , I’m a regular birdie,” she announces, repeating his words from earlier with a puffed-out chest.

“Alright then, birdie.” Lance tickles her until she flops forward into his chest in a mess of giggles. Then he turns to Shiro. “Ready to head out? I think I’ve had my fill of animals for the day.”

Shiro smirks, knowingly. “Are you talking about that woman or the lions?”

“Both.” 

* * *

When they exit the gates of the Wildlife Conservation, the parking lot has transformed into a small Summer Fair. Joyous music fills the air and booths line the edge of the parking lot showcasing carnival games, popcorn machines, fried pastries, and even a few small rides. 

Azure is transfixed by the lights and sweet smells in the air. Holding tight to Lance’s hand she points across the lot. “Can we go, Papa? Please?”

Lance glances up at Shiro as if he’s the designated adult. The man shrugs. “We can probably do a few games before heading back.”

Azure cheers and proceeds to drag Lance toward the fair. Children weave between the booths eating their sweets and snacks. They clutch cones of ice cream that wobble perilously, dripping down their small fingers as it melts; some munch on brightly colored balls of soft sugar strands that dissolve on the tongue and stick to their teeth better than glue. 

Shiro manages to find a token machine, exchanging a few credits for enough to play a few games. He drops them gingerly in Azure’s outstretched palm. “These are all you get, alright? Then we’re heading home.”

The fair is getting more crowded. Lance picks up Azure and balances her on his hip. “Where to?”

Shielding her eyes from the carnival lights with her tiny hands, she peers across the booths and points to the row of carnival games. Lance is silently relieved since it means she’ll burn through her tokens quickly and they can return home. The booths are standard cookie-cutter carnival games manned by various Unilu merchants. 

There’s a water gun race that Azure beats them both in easily because Lance is convinced Shiro and his pistols were broken, a basketball shootout where Shiro missed every shot, a ring toss game eerily similar to the one Lance played on Clear Day years ago, and a dart balloon booth where Lance manages to easily win.

“If you play another round, you can win one of our _special_ prizes,” the Unilu merchant drawls, leaning his four elbows on the counter. “Limited edition, too.”

Lance cocks a brow suspiciously. He’s dealt with enough of these guys to be wary of what they mean by special. “What kind of prizes?”

The merchant’s grin widens, looking between Lance and Shiro with obvious recognition. He ducks behind the booth, shuffling around before he reappears holding a familiar blue lion plushie. Lance can’t hide his groan, remembering how many of those things he had to sign.

Azure’s eyes are as wide as saucers as she turns to Lance, hanging on his arm excitedly. “A blue lion!”

“I see that, Azure.”

“Do you think you can win it, Papa?” she asks hopefully. Shiro snickers behind him because he knows better than to question Lance’s ability.

While having an eagle eye doesn’t count for much in his civilian life, Lance is killer at darts. There's a board in the Garrison teacher’s lounge and beside it sits a chalkboard that's become a running tally of Lance’s bullseyes. Instructors have even tried taking the board off the wall and running around the room like a moving target, but Lance literally can’t miss. The sharpshooter nails that bullseye every time.

Maybe Lance preens a little under Azure’s attention, wanting to impress his daughter even if it’s through one of his parlor tricks. 

“Sure, let’s see,” Lance agrees and Shiro gives the Unilu merchant their last three tokens. 

He accepts them gleefully and presses a button under the booth causing the board with the balloons to spin. When it stops, it’s a grid of 12 balloons in a 4x3 layout. The merchant drops the darts in front of Lance on the counter. 

“Each round, three of the balloons are going to light up. You have to hit them on the first strike,” he explains, thumbing the board. “Miss any, and you’re out. Got it?”

Lance nods, taking hold of the darts. The Unilu man presses the button under the booth again. Three balloons light up in the shape of a triangle.

“Round —” Before he can even finish his announcement, there are three THUNKS and POPS as Lance sinks his darts directly into the balloons. “One?”

The merchant blinks, looking at the board and then back at Lance, who’s trying to seem less cocky than he’s feeling. With a grunt, the Unilu man reaches under the counter with one of his arms. Three more lights glow beneath the balloons, each along one of the edges of the layout. 

“Round two!” he calls quickly enough, but then like clockwork — _THUNK!_ — a balloon pops — _THUNK!_ — a second balloon pops, and then THUNK! — the third balloon pops.

Shiro whistles. “Sharpshooter’s back.”

“Go Papa!” Azure shouts as the third round starts and Lance hits the balloons with ease. 

Finally, it’s the last round and the final three balloons are scattered around the board. Lance can tell there’s a reason these are last. The balloons aren’t inflated all the way, meaning he’ll need more pressure for them to burst. Lance expected this, throwing his duller darts earlier so he’s left with the sharper ones for this round.

“Final round,” the merchant groans, all four arms crossed over his body. “Winner takes all.”

He has the range and accuracy, so Lance focuses on the speed and _THUNK – THUNK – THUNK_ – three darts sink into the balloons. The board is cleared, colorful lights and sirens blare from the top of the booth. The Unilu merchant is flabbergasted.

“Nice cleanup!” Shiro cheers, fist-bumping Lance with his mechanical hand.

“Papa, you did it!” Azure shouts, climbing to stand on her seat to throw her arms around Lance’s neck tightly. He laughs, holding her against his chest, enjoying the warmth of pride as it sinks into his bones. Disgruntled, the Unilu merchant hands Lance the blue lion plushie, and he gives it to Azure. She takes it excitedly.

“Yeah, yeah, congratulations,” he grumbles, shooing them away with all four of his hands. “Now get lost so I can turn over the table!”

Shiro stands up and Lance takes Azure back into his arms as she hugs the blue lion toy tightly.

“I’m gonna name you Blue!” she announces to the stuffed animal before looking up at Lance. “Just like your lion, Papa. Do you like it?”

The lights of the fair sparkle in her eyes like stars. It takes a second or two for her words to sink in. Even though Azure is tiny in his arms, she seems larger than life. 

Somehow, Lance’s lips stretch wider into a grin. “I love it, birdie.”

* * *

The ride home is quiet. Azure spends most of it pressed up against Lance's side while holding up her new blue lion plushie and explaining to it what they're passing like Earth's tour guide. She tilts her head back to look up through the open roof.

"Earth has stars too, Papa?"

Lance hums tilting his head back as twilight begins to overcome the sunshine. "Yeah, you can see a lot of stars from Earth."

"I see stars with Daddy, too," Azure replies, gently petting the soft fabric on Blue’s head. "Are these the same stars?"

“Same stars.” Lance smiles, running a hand across her forehead. "We just see them from different places."

This answer seems to appease her, and she goes back to stargazing.

When they return to Lance's apartment, Shiro wastes no time hauling Azure over his shoulder and forcing her to take a bath.

"Azzy smells like stinky animals," he announces in a sing-song tone, grabbing her nightgown and toiletries from her overnight bag. Azure kicks and grunts in a last-ditch effort to escape.

"I don't smell, you smell Uncle Taki!" Azure huffs, going limp in his hold once she resigns herself to her fate and they enter the bathroom.

Lance busies himself by whipping up food for them. It's Azure's first dinner on Earth, so he doesn't mind making chicken nuggets to celebrate. Considering they started the morning having to free her from a locked bedroom, it's been a relatively successful first day.

He's just about to get condiments from the fridge when his cell phone rings from his pocket. When he pulls it out, Lance is shocked by the name that flashes across the screen.

Lance answers it, clearing his throat. "Hi, Keith. What's up?"

"Hey, Lance," Keith replies, and already Lance can tell he's in a much better mood than this morning. He doesn’t know how he can tell, maybe it’s some lingering Voltron mind-meld thing, but he’s always been keen at picking up on Keith’s moods more than the others. Maybe he’s less cranky because of the time dilation. Lance should really read those schedules. "How's everything going on Earth?"

"Uh, yeah. Things are good," he hums, placing the pieces of chicken onto clean plates

“And Azure is behaving herself?”

Lance hesitates, remembering the blowout at the lion’s den. In her defense, Azure was just trying to stick up for the other girl. 

“There were a few moments where she got a little overexcited, but otherwise nothing major,” he settles on, taking three plates and placing them on the counter. Two in front of the high-top chairs and one on the other side where Lance is standing. 

He swallows dryly, trying not to sound as awkward on the phone as he feels. There's a long silence and Keith coughs, clearing his throat.

"So, what did you guys do today?"

Lance feels his heart thump in his chest. This is probably the longest conversation he’s had with Keith in over three years that wasn't an argument. "Uh, well, we just got back from this wildlife conservation the Garrison runs a few hours outside of campus. Did you know the Garrison ran something like that?" 

"Um not really — "

"Yeah right, 'cause you're in space. How would you know that? I didn’t even know that and I live here," Lance finds himself already rambling, talking faster the longer he speaks. "Anyway, Azure wanted to see lions so Shiro brought us over. She had a good time. I think?"

"You think?" Keith asks, and Lance can't tell if he's being sarcastic or trying to keep the conversation light. It's hard to tell over the phone.

Lance grabs a stick of gum from his pocket — his last piece. Gotta grab a new pack later from one of the drawers. "I mean, you can ask her. Shiro has her in the bath now— "

Just as the words leave his mouth, the bathroom door flies open and Azure runs out in her pajamas, hair still wet. "Papa! Tell Uncle Taki I’m not a stinky animal!"

"Azzy the stinky animal," Shiro continues to tease and Azure pouts, stomping her bare foot on the floor. He pitches her cheek affectionately and she blows a raspberry at him.

"Oh, they just finished. Hold on one sec, Keith." Lance presses his phone to his chest and calls out. "Daddy's on the phone. You wanna say hi, birdie?"

"Yeah!"

Azure runs to the kitchenette and Lance hears Keith snicker through the phone. "Birdie, huh?"

"Ah, it's kinda a long story." He stumbles as Azure crashes into his legs and makes grabby hands for his phone. "Anyway, here's Azure. I'm gonna finish dinner. Bye, Keith!"

"Later, Lance."

He hands Azure the phone and she takes it happily. "Hi Daddy! I met lions and Papa won me a lion to take home!"

Lance can hear the confusion in Keith’s voice from the receiver. Shiro lifts Azure up and places her on the high-top beside him. Her tiny legs swing back and forth as she gives Keith updates from their day. Luckily, it's mostly about the car ride, lions, and the fair. Nothing about being trapped in a bedroom or the overt racism. 

Still, Lance can't help but feel a little hopeful. Maybe this whole situation can work out between them. Especially if Shiro still has his back, Keith will eventually have to come around, too. Who knows, maybe they could still be a little space family after all. 

"Daddy, do you wanna talk to Uncle Taki?" Azure asks between bites of her chicken nuggets. "Okay."

She looks up at Shiro not even moving the phone from her ear. "Daddy says he doesn't wanna talk to you, stinky animal."

Or maybe not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you at home wondering, yes the zoo worker who patched up Azure is absolutely a lesbian with a keychain neck lanyard that jangles when she walks on the job. I know it was bothering you, but I'm here to confirm these details. Not all heroes wear capes.
> 
> Thank you all for being along for the ride! This fic is all I want to talk about, so you're fueling my obsession. 
> 
> Please leave comments, even if it's just saying KUDOS. I'm a fic writer in quarantine - if I don't get constant validiation I die like Tinkerbell. Clap for me! 
> 
> Next chapter - Broganes showdown and cookies!


	7. Heart-Shaped Box

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It only takes three rings, but when the call finally connects, it becomes clear to him that he not only called Lance but requested a video call by mistake. The embarrassment is so swift, his mind screams at him to hang up or throw the phone against the wall, but Lance's face lights up the whole screen before he can do either.
> 
> Lance's eyes widen almost comically the second he registers who he's looking at. "Oh, hey, Keith! Didn't take you to be a video chat kind of guy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A new week, a new chapter. This week has a lot of ~ klance ~
> 
> Extra thanks to VioletFoxTales for beta-ing and adding many comments with the phrase, "This is not a word." 
> 
> Also now these chapters are titled because the numbers were getting funky and bugging me. We love a consistent theme!

The sound of steel scraping metal echoes off the walls of the training deck. Keith grunts, slashing through bots with a sword in both hands. His shirt clings against his torso as sweat drips down his back and keeps his long hair plastered to his skin. He feels the shift of his eyes glowing yellow, pupils constricting into slits as they focus on all the bots surrounding him. His upper lip is pulled back in a sneer, showing off sharp fangs with each vicious swing of his weapons.

_“Level five complete,”_ a robotic voice calls as the final bot drops in defeat. The training deck loads the next stage of training with a whirl of gears. _“Level six activated.”_

To anyone watching, it’d be clear that Keith isn’t just training or practicing, he's attacking this as if it were a life or death battle. That’s probably why he’s the only person on the training deck aside from Kosmo. The power rolling off him is enough to intimate most of the crew. The space wolf, however, is less intimidated and spends the session curled in the corner napping.

After speaking with Hunk yesterday, the image of Lance he had built up in his mind over the past three years has completely warped. Instead of the emotionally immature, insensitive skirt-chaser, Lance is so much more complicated. He is suffering, hurting, but also healing. 

Keith had found his own ways of dealing with the fall out of the war. Although, it was mostly a mix of throwing himself into raising Azure and his work reestablishing the Blade of Marmora as a humanitarian effort. Still, he hasn’t been able to shake the knowledge that Lance had resorted to substance abuse to numb his pain.

Lance’s recovery has been the only thing on his mind for the better half of the day. It is driving him mad at this point. It was obvious during their meeting with King Kuunia when Keith was spaced out for most of the conversation. As usual, Kolivan and Krolia led the diplomatics, but they still needed Keith’s input on the resources needed during the flooding. He probably has bruises on his shins from how many times his mother kicked him under the table to get his attention. Not that it mattered, King Kuunia still refused to negotiate or accept their full-aid until Shiro and the Alliance arrived. 

Afterward, Krolia had followed Keith to his ship, demanding an explanation for his uncharacteristic lack of attention. In the end, he managed to deter her with an excuse he was worrying about Azure, but it was a lie. He knew Azure was fine on Earth, she had said as much when he had crumbled and called Lance again. 

The original point of the call had been for Keith to apologize to Lance for being so abrupt earlier. His aim was to keep the conversation simple, but the second he heard Lance’s voice, he caved immediately. Hearing how excited Azure was about spending time with him on Earth was the icing on the cake.

He wants nothing more than to scream, but he just can’t say it. He can’t come out and admit how much Lance still matters to him. Listening to Azure recount her day at the zoo had brought up long-forgotten fantasies of being a family with Lance. It’s a selfish fleeting thought. Their lives are too complicated now, and he has to put Azure first. He's already uprooted her life by having Lance back in the picture, he can't put her through anything else by pursuing him romantically so they could be together. What if that’s not what Lance wants? 

Lance may have thought he was ready to give his heart to Keith, but that was before he knew about Azure. He may only have space for one, and Azure needs her father more than Keith needs a boyfriend. The last thing he wants is for Lance to settle by being with him out of obligation. 

Keith is on high alert and quickly notices that he is no longer alone in the room. Glancing over his shoulder, he spots Shiro walking through the double doors. He's dressed in his black Garrison uniform, the one he wears especially for Alliance negotiations. The banquet isn't for another few hours, but leave it to Shiro to be overly prepared. That or he assumes speaking with Keith will be as difficult as interplanetary negotiation.

"Hey Keith," Shiro greets, and has the nerve to look the perfect mix of composed but slightly guilty. It makes Keith even angrier, but even if he's angry with his brother he doesn't want him to get hurt by the training bots.

"End training sequence," Keith yells and the lights dim as the bots retract into the floor, ending the simulation. The swords drop from his hands with a clang, and he wipes his face with the end of his shirt. It's more to make sure his eyes adjust back, pupils properly dilated, before meeting anyone.

It doesn't stop Keith from shooting the closest thing he can muster to stink eye at Shiro before heading toward the bench. Shiro follows wordlessly, crossing the training deck and stepping over a few broken bots.

Keith doesn’t say a word, instead, he tips his water bottle back and chugs it down. He ends up soaking his chin and the front of his shirt alike. He’s too exhausted to care, and maybe it’ll be gross enough to send Shiro away.

“You look pissed,” Shiro observes, not stopping until he is standing directly in front of Keith. He holds a tin container in his hands. 

“I am.” Keith grunts, turning away to grab a towel and wipe his face. He turns back, almost shocked to see Shiro is still standing there after his attempts to drive him away. Keith sizes him up, eyes raking over Shiro’s calm demeanor. “What do you want?”

“You’re still pissed at me?”

“I’m pissed in general,” Keith clarifies in a deadpan, narrowing his eyes at Shiro. One dark eyebrow climbs toward his hairline, slow and unimpressed. “But it’s not as if your presence is helping.”

“Noted,” Shiro says, but doesn’t make any indication of leaving. “It was surprising when Acxa let me board with minimal threats on my life. Figured something must’ve happened during one of the Luxuria meetings to spook her.” 

Keith groans into the towel. “Can I help you with something or not, Shiro? Don’t waste my time.”

Shiro offers a shaky smile as if trying to figure out the answer to his question. Keith grows increasingly more impatient each time Shiro avoids answering. 

“I brought a peace offering,” he finally says, holding out the tin towards Keith’s face. “Colleen Holt’s famous oatmeal raisin cookies.”

“You know I don’t like cookies.”

“Well, Azure helped her bake them before I left,” Shiro adds, shaking the tin and rattling the treats inside like he is trying to tempt Kosmo with a treat. “If you don’t want them from me, consider it a gift from her.”

“I’m not hungry,” Keith says, but at that same moment his body betrays him and his stomach rumbles loudly enough for both of them to hear it. He snatches the tin with an aggressive swipe. Shiro’s grin is down-right shit eating. “Shut up.”

“I didn’t say anything,” he says, holding up his hands but his smile doesn’t waver. He takes a seat beside Keith on the bench and watches as he peels open the tin. 

Inside are at least a dozen cookies of various sizes and shapes. Keith’s had these cookies enough times to know that Colleen is a perfectionist when it comes to their presentation. However, knowing Azure was her sous-chef, her attention to detail was most likely eased. There’s a piece of folded paper resting on top of the cookies. He takes it gently, instantly recognizing Azure’s colorful scribbles. 

The picture is of three tall stick figures with one smaller one and a mess of blue scribbles he’s come to learn represents Kosmo. The smaller figure looks to be holding hands with two of the larger figures, one red and the other blue, while the black figure with a mop of gray hair smiles off to the side. Azure’s signed her name in the corner in pink crayon, and Keith can tell she’s still struggling with the shape of her E’s. Still, for a three-year-old, it’s not half bad. 

“Did you put her up to this?” Keith asks, holding up the picture and trying to hide how choked up the drawing is making him. Shiro shakes his head.

“Nope, that was all her,” he replies, leaning back against the wall. “She was upset that we didn’t talk last night and wouldn’t let me leave for the teleduv until I pinky-promised to give this to you.”

“Lance is in here, too,” Keith says, examining the picture between his hands with a heavy sigh. 

“She’s not subtle, that’s for sure,” Shiro relents. "Azure’s sensitive, and you know how well she reads you. You can't really blame her for wanting her family to get along."

Keith groans, setting the picture aside so he can hang it in his office as he does for all of Azure's artwork. "Don't do that, Shiro."

"Do what?"

"Use my kid against me."

"Seems you're doing a good enough job of that on your own," Shiro counters in that same patient voice Keith remembers from when he was a preteen. "You can't use her as an excuse to avoid Lance forever, Keith. I know you're mad about me bringing him, but you know  _ why _ I couldn't give you a heads up."

"Because you've always secretly been the petty gay who loves drama?" Keith sneers, biting into a cookie. Shiro lifts his foot to kick him, but Keith blocks it easily.

"You would've been through the next teleduv to the other end of the galaxy within the varga to avoid talking to Lance, and you know I'm right."

Keith continues to eat the cookie, pretending Shiro didn’t just call him out like he’s the same stubborn kid he brought to the Garrison. There aren’t many people in the universe who can do that without getting a knife thrown at them, and as mad as he currently is at Shiro, it’s more hurt than anything else. Shiro seems to pick up on this, and he puts his hand on Keith’s shoulder affectionately.

“I didn’t mean to betray you, Keith. I’d never do this if I didn’t think it was worth it,” he promises, squeezing softly. “To be honest, I was ready to let the whole thing go until Lance barged into my office requesting to join the Daibazaal mission and wouldn’t stop badgering me until I gave in.”

“Wait,  _ Lance _ asked to go?” he repeats, brows furrowing as he tries to process the fact that Lance of all people had made the first move to contact him after years of radio silence. 

Keith thinks back to Hunk’s words and how Lance had reached out to him and Pidge to apologize. Maybe he was trying to extend an olive branch to Keith now that he’d found sobriety. Shiro had the most insight into Lance’s condition.

“I saw Hunk when I was planet-side yesterday,” Keith says, meeting Shiro’s eyes in a steady gaze. “He told me Lance is recovering from substance abuse and you’ve been acting as his sponsor. Is that true?”

“Yes,” Shiro replies, voice full of confidence. “If you’re worried about Azure— ”

“I know Azure is safe. You’d never put her in harm's way, and I’ll always instinctively trust Lance.” Keith shakes his head. “But why didn’t you tell me about this?”

Shiro sighs, shoulders slumping as he grabs a cookie from the tin. 

“It wasn’t my place, just like it wasn’t my place to tell Lance about Azure,” he explains, taking a bite and chewing the cookie thoughtfully. “Seeing both of your sides, I didn’t think either of you were ready. And I don’t think I was wrong.”

“No, you weren’t,” Keith agrees quietly, refusing to meet his brother’s exasperated stare. He sounds so disappointed and it makes Keith feel the slightest bit guilty. Shiro has always been there for him, always supported him even when he really didn’t think he deserved it. He feels bad disappointing him, letting him down, worrying him. He always has.

“But I also got to see how great of a leader you are with your crew, and how resilient Lance has been through his recovery. Azure deserves to have both her fathers in her life, they’re pretty great guys.” Shiro smiles sheepishly with a shrug. “At least, I think they are.”

“God, you’re such a sap,” Keith gripes, trying to hide the tears welling up in his eyes. Shiro shifts on the bench and wraps him up in a hug. “Ugh, Shiro! Don't hug me, I’m sweaty. It’s gonna get all over your uniform!”

“Don’t care, mandatory family bonding comes first.”

A laugh breaks through Keith’s lips as he returns the hug, feeling significantly lighter. “I’m not sorry for the knife emojis, though.”

“I’m more impressed you knew that many emojis. Lance had to spend an entire morning showing me that option on my keyboard.”

“You disaster,” Keith snorts, pulling away from the hug and letting his shoulders relax. “I’m guessing Azure is doing well on Earth?”

Shiro nods, sticking out his pinky. “She already has Lance wrapped around her finger. You should’ve seen how he played some carnival game just to win her that lion toy. He’s head over heels for her, and I think she’s enjoying learning about life outside the ship.”

Keith feels the familiar twinge of guilt in his heart. He's always been cognizant of Azure being the only kid on such a big ship. Even when they would visit Krolia on Daibazaal, there weren't many kids her age around for her to play with. He often worried the other Galra kids excluded her because she looked so human. While she never complained, he worried she was lonely and didn't have the words to express her feelings yet.

"I'm sure you two can figure it out," Shiro finishes, standing up. "You both love Azure and she loves you. That's what matters most."

Keith nods, taking the tin of cookies and following Shiro out the door. He can probably swing by his office to drop these off before hitting the showers…

"And you should call Lance more often," Shiro adds, pulling him from his thoughts. At the mention of Lance, Keith feels his cheeks warm.

"I called him last night!"

"You know what I mean. If you're going to co-parent Azure, it'll be easier if you at least have a friendly relationship." Shiro stops at the end of the hall before turning off to head back to whatever Alliance work he's been booked to do before the banquet. "He misses you."

Keith misses Lance too, but that doesn't mean he's ready to indulge in speaking with the man about topics outside of their daughter. He's awkward in even the best of social situations, and every time he's spoken to Lance on the phone, it's made his skin crawl with anxiety. Still, he knows Shiro won't drop it until he gives him some semblance of agreement.

"Fine, I'll call him more," he relents, rolling his eyes. "I can't promise it won't be mostly Azure-related, though."

“Just consider it, that’s all I’m asking.”

“I’ll  _ consider _ it.” Keith sighs through his teeth in that uninspired way that tells Shiro to back off and leave the subject alone. It’s enough to appease him for now.

“You're going to the banquet tonight, right?” Shiro asks, but it’s more of a confirmation than a question. 

“Couldn’t ditch if I tried. Does the Garrison have you booked solid?"

"Not  _ technically _ . I have plans to catch up with a friend over video chat beforehand."

"Is the friend Curtis?" Keith teases, smirk curling on his lips and curiosity sparking in his tone.

“Maybe,” Shiro trails off, looking bashful and nervous, like he isn’t sure if he wants to admit to it. Before Keith can push more, he turns and nearly sprints down the hallway. “Anyway, don’t be late for dinner and call Lance!”

“Yeah, yeah, get out of here already before you miss your virtual date.” 

After Shiro leaves, Keith makes his way to his office. He’s intercepted halfway there by Ezor and Zethrid bombarding him with questions about the banquet and dress codes. They’re all questions he doesn’t care to know the answers to, so he orders them to go in their Blade uniforms and gives them the tin of Colleen’s cookies to pacify them after they start complaining about it. 

He’s just gotten out of the showers and returned to his office when he thinks about Shiro’s advice. The picture Azure drew sits neatly on his desk. 

Keith and Lance, side-by-side, a happy family. Is that what Azure really wants?

Glancing at the time on his phone, he still has a few vargas until the banquet, and he hasn't checked in on how Azure’s been doing on Earth. It’s not weird to call Lance to check in on her, right? That is a totally normal thing for co-parents to do. Sheepishly, he pushes away his own awkwardness and hits the dial button.

It only takes three rings, but when the call finally connects, it becomes clear to him that he not only called Lance but requested a video call by mistake. The embarrassment is so swift, his mind screams at him to hang up or throw the phone against the wall, but Lance's face lights up the whole screen before he can do either.

Lance's eyes widen almost comically the second he registers who he's looking at. "Oh, hey, Keith! Didn't take you to be a video chat kind of guy."

Keith tenses like his entire body experiences rigor mortis. He can hear his heartbeat in his ears as adrenaline pumps through his veins and displaces his blood. It's like his mind is buffering, caught in a lag between his brain and his mouth. Lance must take it as a side-effect of their long-distance connection as he doesn't seem bothered by the wait.

"Uh, hi," Keith finally says when he regains the ability to speak, ignoring the second part of Lance’s sentence. "I wanted to check in and see how everything was going.” He stutters when he realizes he’s used that excuse before. “And...um...Shiro gave me the cookies."

"Oh yeah?" Lance grins, holding the camera at an awkward, half-hearted angle. Keith watches as he adjusts himself on what looks to be a sofa. Unconsciously, he wonders what Lance’s living room looks like. "I'll let Azure know. She was super proud of them. I guess you guys don't do a lot of baking out in space, huh?"

"The kitchens on the ship are more about feeding quantity over quality, and Galra aren't exactly known for their baking skills," Keith explains and adjusts his own phone. It's distracting how he can see himself talking to Lance. He bites at his lip nervously as he spots every one of his tells on his face. Maybe he can end this torture by putting Azure on the call. "I can tell her myself. Can I talk with her?"

Lance looks taken aback by the question, quickly leaning backward to rub at the back of his neck with his free hand. Keith catches a glimpse of an undershirt strap and the blue tufts of Lance's fuzzy robe that's currently falling off one of his shoulders.

"Azure's asleep, man. It's close to midnight here," Lance says with a thoughtful expression. Instantly, Keith’s humiliation shifts into parental guilt. He should've remembered the time dilation. "I mean, I can wake her up if it's important. Is everything okay?"

"No, no, it's fine. Everything's fine," Keith assures him, shaking his head. "We're out of Daibazaal's orbit and back on Luxuria now so I got the time differences messed up."

"That makes sense," Lance hums in understanding. Keith watches in a trance as Lance's hand trails down the back of his neck to fidget with the hem of his robe. Even in the low-res quality of his phone’s camera, he can pick up the details of his long fingers, cleanly cut nails, and a few scars from his days of wielding his bayard. "I can call you back tomorrow during some of the overlapping hours. You sent Luxura's time difference to my holopad."

"Sure, that works."

"Cool," Lance says, face pulling into a smile that doesn't reach his eyes. "I'll talk to you later."

" _ Wait— _ ” Keith begs, and the words are out of his mouth before he even has a chance to overthink it. Lance stops, staring blankly at the screen. It's such a genuine look of surprise that Keith has to swallow back his own discomfort to squeak out. "We can still talk...if you're not busy."

If possible, Lance looks even more bewildered. Keith hates this moment with his entire existence. He wishes he could take the words back or just hang up. Unconsciously, he glances at the small square of his face in the corner of the screen and is relieved that his eyes aren't yellow from the stress.

Then Lance’s face breaks into a grin, so different than the smile he had given Keith moments prior. As if he truly wants to talk to him, and Keith isn’t some annoying inconvenience. “Sure, we can talk. Not like I got anywhere else to go.”

“That explains the robe,” Keith volleys, unsure if the harmless teasing will still work between them. The rhythm of their banter was once so familiar and easy. Like muscle memory, Lance spikes back.

“Why does it not surprise me after all these years you still scoff at comfort?” he says with an exaggerated eye roll. “You probably sleep in your Blade uniform, boots and all!”

“Of course not, it’ll get dirty.”

“That better not be your only reason.” Lance snorts, adjusting his robe around himself. It looks like he’s also trying to balance his phone on what’s probably the arm of his sofa. Once he’s deemed it adequately secure, he leans back against the cushion. “So, how’s Luxuria? Shiro made it sound like a huge headache.”

It shouldn’t impress Keith as much as it does, but he’s always admired Lance’s natural ability to strike up a conversation with anyone. Back on the Castleship, Keith remembers feeling better just being in the same room as Lance. He’s always been a warm ball of light, pulling everyone into his orbit. To think there was a time when that light was at risk of going out is inconceivable.

“We’re here for disaster relief since the planet is suffering from the fall out of massive electromagnetic storms last month. It’s thrown their entire ecosystem off-kilter, and they’re seeing record flooding in the capital and droughts in the outskirts. To make matters worse, their leader is some rich blowhard who doesn’t want to hear about it,” Keith explains, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “He’s only accepted aid for the flooding in the capital, most likely because that’s where his palace is located. My mom and Kolivan are trying to get him to join the Galaxy Alliance because then they would have better oversight of the planet to extend support.”

Lance leans out of frame, quickly returning with a bowl in his hands. “Lemme guess, King Pain-In-The-Ass doesn’t want oversight because he doesn’t want to give up control?”

“Yup,” Keith huffs, leaning back in his chair. “Pretty much.”

“The more things change the more they stay the same, huh?” Lance shakes his head as he dips his spoon into his bowl. It’s clear by the milk and mini-marshmallows it's some kind of sugary cereal. “You’d think after Voltron rolled into, like, nine planets with that same set-up these dudes would get a better game plan.”

“He’s holding a banquet tonight as a  _ testament of goodwill _ towards the Galaxy Alliance. Hunk’s catering it, actually.”

“No kidding? Wow, that’s a big gig.” Lance whistles, obviously impressed. He shovels another spoonful of cereal into his mouth. “Did you guys get a chance to catch up?”

Keith raps his fingers against his desk, taking a moment to think before answering. It’s not as if he  _ has _ to bring up the conversation he had with Hunk, but it may also be the most direct segue he’ll get for the topic of Lance’s recovery without prying.

“We did, and he gave me some insight into your...situation,” Keith says, attempting to be gentle as he toes into the topic. Lance lowers the spoon from his mouth, slowly. “I didn’t realize before when you said you had to work on yourself that you meant…”

“That I’m a recovering addict?” Lance finishes, offering up his best charming, apologetic grin. It’s so transparent and honest that Keith needs to take a deep breath to steady himself. 

“Shit. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up like that,” Keith apologizes hurriedly, under his breath. Warning alarms are going off in his head — he’s messed up. He can see how nervous he’s made Lance, and he curses himself for it. He’s about to backtrack and try to bury the situation when Lance suddenly holds up his hand in a truce.

“Keith, it’s okay, we can talk about it,” Lance assures him. He leans out of frame again to place his bowl of cereal back on the coffee table. When he returns, he twists his body so he can rest his chin on top of his knee, his arms wrapped around himself. “So, yeah, I’ve been sober for a little over a year now. I have a therapist, go to meetings, and keep up with my medication. It’s day by day, and the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life, but I didn’t do it alone.”

“Hunk told me that Shiro is acting as your sponsor,” Keith says and Lance perks up immediately, looking infinitely less anxious and a lot more at ease. “I didn’t know that.”

“Shiro’s been my rock through it all, and I’m not kidding when I say I probably wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for him.” Lance shrugs his shoulders, looking close to tears. Keith knows exactly how he’s feeling, too. He’s probably the only other person in the universe who can relate to how Shiro changed the trajectory of his life by simply supporting him and believing he was capable of more. “I didn’t mean to not be more direct about this before, but I understand if it makes you uncomfortable to have Azure stay with me. I can rent the next shuttle out to Luxuria and—”

“Woah woah woah, no Lance! That isn’t what I meant at all!” Keith insists, leaning his whole body towards the camera. If there is one thing he wants to get right, it’s letting Lance know that his past struggles don’t mean he’ll lose Azure or even him. Keith needs him to know how much he cares, even if it dances on the edge of outing himself and his feelings.  “I only asked because...well, I want to make sure you’re okay.”

“Oh,” Lance replies, the quality of their feed too low to tell if he’s blushing. Keith watches as Lance tenses, eyes darting back to the camera. 

Keith has the unique pleasure of watching a flush spread across his own face, deep and dark, spreading to the tips of his ears and down the length of his neck. He clears his throat.

“I trust you, and I know Shiro would never have agreed to this if he didn’t trust you too,” he finishes, hoping the color has faded from his cheeks. “Azure deserves to have you in her life.”

A hint of a smile quirks at the corners of Lance’s lips. “Thanks, Keith. It means a lot to hear you say that.”

Keith nods, reaching up to brush his hair back behind his ear, fidgeting nervously. “You just better be feeding her a more balanced breakfast than cereal.”

Lance looks down at the bowl he’s just picked up again, realization dawning across his features.

“Oh, this?” Lance laughs, shaking his head. “Don’t worry, Azure eats like a queen. This is just a midnight snack.”

“Didn’t know you were the midnight snack kind of guy.”

Lance grins back at him. There’s no heat behind their teasing. It’s almost flirting in a weird way that is uniquely Keith and Lance. Keith bites back a smile of his own, determined to keep his face neutral.

“When I stopped drinking, I suddenly developed a craving for sugar,” Lance explains with another shrug. “It was super weird because I’d never really been into sweets. I brought it up to my group, and it turns out it’s super common for people to find themselves reaching for the sweets when they get sober. Explains all the donuts at meetings now that I’m thinking about it. I always assumed it was to make the rooms feel less depressing.”

“Do you get those a lot?” Keith asks, before clarifying. “Sugar cravings, I mean.”

“Not as bad as other folks I’ve met. Some people will come in with huge chocolate bars in their pockets, or get ten sugars in their iced coffee.” Lance stirs his cereal mindlessly as he explains it. “As long as it helps keep them straight, more power to them. I’ll only get a craving every so often, and a bowl of cereal will do it for me. Even my gum is sugarless, it’s just flavored.”

“What flavor?”

“Strawberry,” he replies with a mouthful of colorful cereal. 

Keith lets in a quick intake of air, and he’s worried Lance will hear it over his slurping. One of the lingering memories from their night together is how Lance’s lips tasted like strawberry candies. The thorned vine clenches around his heart again as a tempting thought crosses his mind. Would Lance still taste like strawberries all these years later?

“It’s a cheap gum brand too, so I can’t even defend it,” Lance continues with a breathy laugh. “I got a whole Costo crate of it in my apartment and stuff packs all over the place. Shiro once found an unopened pack of gum in his medicine cabinet, but I told him it’s fine as long as the cellophane is still sealed.”

“Shiro never liked gum, the stickiness grosses him out,” Keith shares. “His ex-boyfriend, Adam, used to show him how the cadets would stick gum under their seats to tease him.”

"I always forget Shiro dated Professor Adam."

Keith hums in response. After he left the group home to dorm at the Garrison, Shiro and Adam were the closest things he had to a family. They were definitely not old enough to be his dads, not by any stretch. They were like two older brothers trying their best to take care of him. Keith will always carry around some guilt for how he treated Adam after their breakup. 

“Do you miss him?” Lance asks softly. “Adam, I mean.”

Keith nods. “He was really good to me. Probably thought Shiro was crazy for taking me under his wing, but he was always nice about it.”

“He wasn’t crazy,” Lance murmurs.

“What?”

“Shiro wasn’t crazy. He was lucky to find you. You’re his family.”

Keith swallows dryly. At the time, he couldn't understand how someone could walk away from the person they loved. Now, he understands. Adam didn't leave because he didn't love Shiro, he left because every time Shiro didn't take his health seriously it must've felt like he didn't take Adam's feelings seriously either. Since then, Shiro hasn't shown any interest in anyone until Curtis. Keith teases Shiro about it not just to get a rise out of him, but because deep down it's still hard to replace that image of Adam with somebody else.

Lance is quick to fill the silence and lighten the mood. It seems neither of them wanted the conversation to end so soon. "So, what’s the plan for this banquet? Gonna need to be home by midnight before your carriage turns into a pumpkin?" 

The question has Keith’s entire face scrunching up in confusion, the reference completely lost on him. 

"There's the face!" Lance points and Keith is somehow even more baffled. "Azure makes that same face and I knew it looked like you, but I couldn't figure out what it meant. I've been calling it her Keith Face, but it must mean she's confused and slightly annoyed."

"If she's giving it to you then that's a match."

"Rude!" Lance pouts, but it's more adorable than anything else. The corners of his eyes crinkle against his marks and Keith's chest warms in affection. “I think  _ someone _ is getting jealous that I’m quickly becoming her favorite dad.”

“That’s only because you’re not the strict one between us,” Keith points out with a teasing smirk. “When she visits you she gets to eat pancakes, see the zoo and go to carnivals. You get to be the fun one. I actually need to make sure she eats her vegetables and picks up her toys.”

“It doesn’t need to be either-or if we’re together,” Lance says. It’s barely a whisper and Keith isn’t sure he’s heard him right.

“What?”

“Uh, I said I can make her clean when we’re together,” Lance backtracks quickly. It’s clear he’s embarrassed about being called out. 

Keith can’t make sense of why he’d even say that in the first place if he didn’t secretly want him to hear it. 

"Anyway, given your complete inability to catch my Cinderella reference, you've answered my question on whether Azure has watched any Disney movies,” Lance continues, moving on from the topic easily. “I’ll make sure one of us ensures our daughter has  _ some _ semblance of pop culture knowledge. What if one day she's trapped on an interstellar game show and needs to name all seven dwarfs from Snow White, huh? You’re about to get our kid fed to the Snick, Keith!"

Then Lance laughs, and it's the light and airy, weightless jingle that would bounce off the walls of the Castleship. The same laugh he would snort when Keith did something unknowingly funny. Keith’s heart drops, his chest aching as the vine tightens its hold. He’s so close to pouring his heart out with Lance in front of him, finally admitting to the all-consuming love that’s been gnawing away in his soul. 

In the years that have passed, time and time again Keith should’ve fallen out of love with Lance — from him dating Allura, to leaving him after their night together, to falling into substance abuse. Instead, Keith finds himself once again admiring Lance’s perseverance and optimism. He never stays down, and he faces every challenge head-on. He owns up to his mistakes and tries to do the right thing, even if it’s at the cost of his own happiness. How did Keith ever think he could get over this man? He’s held his heart since they were teenagers racing their lions into the dirt of Arus.

Keith’s eyes glance at Azure’s picture again, gaze resting on the red and blue figures holding hands together. Maybe this could be a possibility eventually with small steps. Slowly opening the door of possibility a crack and seeing what comes through. It’s so terrifying, Keith’s hands tremble.

He would’ve stayed caught in his thoughts if it wasn’t for the yawn bellowing past Lance’s lips. Keith can tell by the wide-eyed look that Lance is trying to hide his exhaustion, but it’s a useless endeavor. Lance’s eyelids droop and he’s resting his head against the back of his sofa. He looks so soft and warm that Keith feels a tug in his chest, wanting to caress the smooth skin of his cheek, run his hands through those short, brown locks. To kiss those pulp pink lips and never let Lance go again.

“If you’re tired, you can head to bed,” Keith says softly. “I didn’t mean to keep you up.”

Lance quickly shakes his head. “You’re not keeping me up, I like talking with you. I...I missed it.”

Their connection must have strengthened during the call because the resolution on Keith’s screen looks clearer. Lance's gaze is soft, filled with a level of admiration Keith hardly feels like he deserves. And that blinding smile, accompanied by the brush of freckles speckled along the bridge of his nose, is so very fond. Keith’s heart is racing, heavy with emotions. He can’t get used to having a look like that directed at him.

“I missed you,” Keith whispers, and he knows that's not what Lance said, but he can’t hold it in anymore. It’s been years, and he’s tired of keeping it hidden. 

Lance looks taken aback, blue eyes as wide as saucers. He opens his mouth to respond, but a loud yawn escapes his lips. Keith groans, the sound spiking the mic on his phone and Lance smiles sheepishly, leaning back so he can look at Keith through the phone. Keith can only hope the blush on his face isn’t as blatantly obvious as the one brushing across Lance’s nose.

“It’s getting late over here, so maybe I should call it a night. Plus, I’m sure you have to get ready for your  _ gala _ , Mr. Blade Leader,” he teases lightly, his smile never slipping from his face. 

“Banquet,” Keith correctly stubbornly. He has no desire to prepare for it at all, and he much rather talk to Lance than smooze with diplomats. The only thing keeping him from skipping is the promise of Hunk’s food and the fear of what his mother would do if he bailed. “Goodnight.”

He moves to end the call this time and Lance quickly interrupts him. “Wait, wait, wait!” 

Keith freezes, thumb hovering over the end call button. “Yeah?”

Lance’s face lights up when he realizes Keith isn’t actually going to hang up on him. “Um, I was just gonna say I’ll let Azure know you called. And I’m typically more of a texter, but if you want someone to just shoot the breeze with, I can be more of a phone guy.”

“Okay,” is all Keith manages to say because he’s so incredibly weak for this man, it’s actually embarrassing. If Acxa, Ezor or Zethrid saw him right now, they’d never let him live it down. “I’d like that.”

“Great! Looking forward to it.” Lance grins, waving into the camera. “Goodnight, Keith.”

“Night, Lance.”

The call ends and the newly established quietness is nearly overwhelming. He can hear his own heart beating in his ears like a drum, and he takes a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself down. It was the first step, but it felt like the biggest leap of faith.

Keith’s never wanted something like this before, both because he’s never loved anyone quite like he loves Lance, and because he’s never been good at expressing himself. 

He never used to wish for anything. Keith’s always been the type to expect the worst, finding it easier to cope with a negative outcome than the crushing disappointment of losing something he wanted. It wasn’t until he had Azure that he found himself starting to hope for things, not for his sake but for her’s. He’ll continue to advocate for a peaceful universe so she can safely travel and live a long life among the stars. 

Now, he’s letting himself desire the heart of the man he loves. 

Keith finds himself feeling overwhelmed and leans over his desk to rest his elbows on the surface. He sighs and runs his hands through his hair, further mussing it.

Is he really going to do this again?

“Damn it,” he groans out, his hands dragging over his eyes. 

He’s really in it now, and this time he may never get out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who've read my other fic "In This Reality," you will recongize Colleen Holt’s famous oatmeal raisin cookies. Those cookies are like the Agent Coulson of my post canon klance nonsense, a link between the Astrolatte Extended Klance Multiverse.
> 
> Please leave comments if you can, I know this week has been a particularly rough one. I typically try to reply to as many as I can during the week, but I read every single one multiple times. Thank you, everyone!
> 
> Next chapter - Azure throws up and Lance gets hit on by a hot doctor!


	8. Paper Hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laying here next to their daughter, the fantasy changes shape. Instead of walking along the Cuban coastline alone with Keith, he now pictures Azure between them holding both of their hands like a bridge. Lance teaches her to swim in the ocean, and Keith builds castles with her in the white sand. At the end of the day, the three of them huddle together under a blanket to watch the stars. The three of them together, a family connected together by cosmic dust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, remember when I warned you all about there being sad stuff before we get to the happy stuff? 
> 
> Sorry, not sorry!

Lance wakes up before his alarm, his body tingling with the giddy excitement from his call with Keith. 

He missed him. Keith had _missed_ Lance.

Sitting up in bed, careful not to wake Azure, he adjusts where Captain Taki and Blue have squirmed their way behind his back during the night. Lance leans against the headboard, placing the stuffed animals by Azure. She snuggles into the toy’s soft fabric in her sleep. Lance’s gaze falls back on Azure, her tiny chest rising and falling as she snores lightly. He runs a hand gently pushing her bangs off her face and she cuddles closer to him, the two stuffed animals squished between them. 

Tenderly, he strokes her forehead as he tries to hide his smile, still reflecting on his call with Keith. It’s silly to be this gushy over a video call, of all things. Video calls weren't anything _that_ exciting — he has a weekly one with his parents. But there’s something about how Keith called _Lance_ and asked _Lance_ to stay on the call that makes his heart flutter. It's a hopeful, little spark against the dangerous tinderbox in Lance's heart where he's held all his residual feelings for Keith captive for years.

Keith hasn’t mentioned it yet, but Lance knows there’s a conversation looming at the end of this week. Negotiating custody and visitation schedules, compromising their lives to allow Azure to grow up with both her parents. Knowing Keith still trusts Lance even though he’s a recovering addict sparks a sense of hope. 

Selfishly, Lance allows himself to fantasize about a life where his choices were different. An alternate reality, where he was a little braver when sitting alongside Keith on his lion. One where he invited Keith to his family’s goodbye dinner instead of Allura. Where he found the courage to believe in what his heart was trying to tell him, and not get himself confused in what he was _supposed_ to feel. Laying here next to their daughter, the fantasy changes shape. 

Instead of walking along the Cuban coastline alone with Keith, he now pictures Azure between them holding both of their hands like a bridge. Lance teaches her to swim in the ocean, and Keith builds castles with her in the white sand. At the end of the day, the three of them huddle together under a blanket to watch the stars. 

The three of them together, a family connected together by cosmic dust. 

Pulling his phone from his pocket, Lance adjusts himself to snap a quick picture of Azure’s sleeping face as she pulls Captain Taki and Blue closer, stretching her tiny legs to kick off the blanket. Opening his contacts, he attaches the photo to a text message to Keith.

**Lance** : [1 image] 

**Lance** : i’m outnumbered.

He sends it with a tap of his thumb. Keith said he wasn’t much of a texter, so Lance is surprised when he sees the three dots signaling Keith typing a reply. His phone vibrates in his hand as the message comes through.

**Keith** : That’s nothing. Wait til you see her bedroom.

It’s enough for his hope to burn brighter. Lance texts back a joke about their daughter’s growing stuffed animal collection, and Keith replies with a simple, “lol”, and it’s almost too much. He’s grinning at his phone like an absolute fool. 

It brings him back to the first few months after the war when Keith and him would text each other throughout the day. Mundane updates like chores and training were common, but so were messages of “Goodnight” when one of them fell asleep and a “Good morning” when they woke up, regardless of the time difference. Back then, Lance knew how to press all of Keith’s buttons because he spent years learning all of them by heart.

Every day he’s spent with Azure, Lance finds himself missing Keith a little more. He sees shadows of Keith in Azure’s personality and habits. It's like watching a phantom drift through his life. It makes his heart ache, wishing things could’ve been different. A thought creeps through his mind, wondering if they can still have a chance. 

Lance places a quick kiss on Azure’s forehead before getting out of bed. He figures he’ll let her sleep in a little bit longer. Still in his sweats and threadbare Garrison shirt, Lance pads out of the bedroom into the living room. He curls up into the corner of his sofa to send another text.

**Lance** : how's ur dinner party? anything interesting happen? 

**Keith** : No. People suck. Music sucks. 

**Keith** : I can already tell their King won't budge on accepting relief aid

 **Lance** : what kind of asshole doesn’t want to help his own people?

 **Keith** : The royal kind.

A spike of familiar adrenaline spears itself through Lance’s gut—the sixth sense he developed while being a paladin. It’s a near-constant paranoia that whatever can go wrong, will go wrong. Before Lance can think better than to give in to it, he sends a reply. 

**Lance** : or he might be an asshole with something to hide. be careful

Once the text is delivered, he winces. Who is he to assume anything about Keith’s current situation? He didn’t know this King from a hole in the wall, and Keith would think he was overstepping his bounds. He’s going to lose his temper at him. Lance may have just destroyed the tenuous connection they've established in a single text.

Lance freezes when the three dots float on his screen as Keith types his reply. It feels like ages until it comes through.

**Keith** : Good point. I’ll keep an eye out

 **Keith** : And I’m always careful. You’re the one who’s accident-prone.

Even though they’re only texts, Lance hears the praise and friendly jab in Keith’s voice. Lance laughs, running his hand through his hair as he replies with a string of annoying emojis. 

For so long, he’s assumed his relationship with Keith was an irreparable mess and their push-and-pull dynamic wouldn't survive his sobriety. It was one of the central reasons why Lance waited so long to reach out.

The night the lions disappeared, an integral part of himself had been ripped out and taken with them. He had placed so much importance on being a paladin of Voltron, that Lance didn’t recognize himself without the title Defender of the Universe. What value did he have if he wasn’t protecting anyone?

His value was measured by the shots he took and the people he protected. Without a lion, he wasn’t a paladin of anything. His journey through space had changed him so much, he no longer fit anywhere else. The quiet life of his family’s farm was so small by comparison. Even piloting wasn’t enough.

These were the kinds of self-destructive thoughts Lance had been in the midst of when Keith had knocked on his door that night with a bottle of Altean alcohol he’d stolen from the palace’s kitchen. Lance still remembers the look of fond exasperation Keith had given him, still in his red t-shirt and black sweats from when they had run out into the garden. He had climbed up next to Lance on the bed, drying his tears with the pads of his thumbs, softly calling him an idiot for crying alone. 

The drinking game had been Keith’s idea, but booze had been a way for Lance to obscure the truth and avoid his problems. It was easy to blame his forgetfulness or avoidance on a crazy drunken night. But those problems don’t disappear the next day. If anything, they’re amplified.

After their night together, Lance had woken with Keith still in his bed, warm and cozy. He could’ve made a big deal and left, but he didn’t. He’d marveled at how perfectly Keith fit in his arms, the morning light of Altea shining against his eyes like amethysts. Burning into memory the way Keith smiled softly at him, hints of his dimples visible. Instead of leaving, Lance had captured Keith's lips, lifted the covers, and ducked under them to make a home for himself between Keith’s thighs.

The night before could’ve been written off as a drunken accident, but the morning after had been pure desire. Lance had wanted Keith and it had scared him. The last time he’d wanted someone like that, he’d lost them forever. So, like a coward, he’d fled to selfishly protect his heart and had broken Keith’s in the process. He’d feared his feelings for Keith were temporary, a means to fill the hole Allura had left behind like spackle on drywall. 

But that was never the case. Lance’s affection for Keith had always been there, no matter how high or drunk he’d gotten. During his first counseling session in rehab, when he was still dopesick and afraid, Lance would picture his ideal life. It was never as a paladin with his lion or a place he's physically been, but the pull in his soul when his mind would sync with the team to form Voltron. 

Specifically, the interweaving of his soul with another to form Voltron’s wings. 

Over the last year of introspection during therapy, Lance had reached a conclusion during one of his sessions that no matter how long he tried to stay in denial-land, it didn’t change the truth of how he felt about Keith. He’d convinced himself it was always just an intense friendship because of the nature of being a paladin. It wasn’t anything similar to what he had felt for Allura, which was another fact Lance had duly chosen to ignore.

His relationship with Keith was never just a friendship or a one-night stand—Lance has been utterly, irreversibly, and immensely captivated by Keith since the start. For all intents and purposes, Lance has been nurturing a _crush_ for nearly the entirety of their friendship. A crush that’s aged like an old book he’s finally ready to blow the dust off of and crack open. These emotions, wrapped in years of yearning, have been waiting behind the walls he’s erected around his heart. All he had to do was knock them down.

The night he met Azure, seeing Keith again brought the same frenetic beat of his heart like it did when he first saw him at the Garrison, or again when saving Shiro, or even when he came back with Krolia somehow looking even hotter.

**Keith** : Break time is over. Time to show my face

 **Keith** : At least the food is good

 **Lance** : wow keith

 **Lance** : kind of vain way to talk about your face dontcha think?

It’s the closest Lance has come to flirting since they reunited. He feels giddy with it, his heart speeding as the three dots appear. Keith’s text is a simple, but familiar response.

**Keith** : You're still an idiot

 **Keith** : Tell Azure i love her — talk soon

 **Lance** : looking forward to it 💙

Sending that blue heart feels like pushing a red button on the nuclear codes. It’s definitely toeing the line and testing their boundaries. Sure, it’s a blue heart which can be platonic, but Lance _knows_ it means more than that to him. It’s enough to make him laugh with nervous energy like he can’t sit still and wouldn’t want to even if he could. He feels the strangest urge to get up and dance around the room.

Instead, he pockets his phone and makes his way to the bathroom to brush his teeth, shave, and take his medication. He's just gulped down the last of his meds when he hears a tiny knock on the door.

"Papa?"

Lance spins on his heel, quickly opening the door to see Azure. Her hair is sticking up in every direction, and she has her blue lion plushie in her arms. Precious.

“Well, good morning, birdie,” he says happily, crouching so he can meet her eyes. He brushes back her fringe, so he can kiss her forehead. The skin feels warmer than usual against his lips. “I’m about to make us some breakfast. I’ll grill up some bacon and eggs, and maybe some toast with jelly. Then we can head over to the botanical gardens and see the butterflies —”

“I want Daddy.”

His good mood disintegrates like tissue paper in water when he sees her face. Azure’s eyes are glassy, her cheeks flushed and she’s wobbling on her feet. She’s gripping the stuffed animal in her arms for dear life.

“W-why do you want Daddy?” he asks, trying to hide the hurt in his voice. 

"I feel bad," she finally says, voice tiny.

"How bad?"

Her face pales and before Lance can do anything to stop it, she's vomiting in the doorway with a wet _splat_.

* * *

Lance checks the clock on his phone for what may be the thirtieth time in the last five minutes. He’s leaning against the wall in an examination room of Garrison’s medical ward, waiting for the doctor to see him. He folds his arms over his chest, tapping his foot angrily against the floor, a nervous tick when he doesn’t know what else to do with all the adrenaline rushing through his body.

It's summer vacation, so there isn't a line of students pretending to be injured to get out of class and Azure is admitted relatively quickly. But that doesn’t mean the doctor is going to see them any faster.

Although his apartment quickly became a biohazard given the amount of puke trailing between his bathroom and the hallway, Lance managed to dress Azure in a clean pair of clothes before carrying her to the medical wing. He ordered a cleaning droid to wash up his apartment while they're here, which is one worry off his mind. He should send Pidge a thank you note for implementing service robots. 

Azure sits on the exam table, legs kicking through the air, clearing the floor by at least three feet as they swing back and forth. Her face still has an unhealthy greenish hue to it as she hugs her stuffed animal tightly to her chest. In their rush to leave, only Blue made the cut and Captain Taki was left to guard the bedroom back at the apartment. Between the lion bandaids on her hands and knees and now her fever, the guilt eats Lance alive. Of course, he’s messed up this whole parenting thing over the course of a day without Shiro. Maybe he isn’t cut out for fatherhood after all.

There's a quick knock, and the door to the exam room opens. The doctor walks inside, holding a tablet. He's tall and fit, with blonde hair brushed back from his face. Lance catches the way he glances up from the tablet, green eyes meeting his own before peeking at Lance's left hand in an obvious ring check. Usually, he'd take it as a compliment and playfully flirt back, but now the thought is enough to tie Lance's stomach into knots.

Fortunately, the doctor is more interested in the job at hand. He crouches down in front of Azure, letting the girl see his white coat, blue scrubs and stethoscope around his neck.

"Hello there, I'm Dr. Jamie," he greets in a chipper voice. "What's your name?" 

Azure stills and is quiet for a moment, sitting further back on the exam table. She’s uncharacteristically shy and stares at the doctor with an unfamiliar firmness. It’s completely different from how she behaved with the woman at the wildlife conservation. Dr. Jamie turns to Lance, raising an eyebrow in a wordless request for an explanation.

"Her name is Azure," Lance offers with a tired exhale, foot still tapping with nervous energy. “She woke up this morning with a fever and vomited.”

“How many times did she vomit?”

“Uh.” He tries to think back; it’s all sort of a blur in his rush to get her here. “At least twice.”

The answer seems to be good enough for Dr. Jamie as he taps his tablet. Lance's jaw clicks with every grind of gum between his teeth. He's forgotten how many pieces he's anxiously shoved in his mouth, but his best guess is maybe three.

Dr. Jamie’s brows furrow. "Your daughter doesn’t seem to be in the Garrison's medical system. What’s the name of her primary care doctor?"

Lance isn’t sure if Azure has ever seen a doctor before. Does the Blade of Marmora offer healthcare? Is her pediatrician on Daibazaal? 

"Ah, nevermind! I got her right here," the doctor says in a sing-songy voice, saving Lance the embarrassment. He taps the screen a few times, flicks his wrist, and soon Azure's file is projected on a large screen at the opposite side of the room. "Everything here up to date?"

Lance's eyes scan the first lines of Azure's file. His daughter's full name is _Azure Allura Kogane._

It strikes a tender chord in his heart. This explains why Azure holds Allura in such high regard—she's carrying the name of the princess who saved the universe. It is a little surprising, though. Lance always had a tough time tracking Allura and Keith's friendship. As often as they butted heads, they were also remarkably similar in their determination, quick-wits, kindness, and stubbornness. Mayhaps Lance has a type. 

"I was able to find her in the Alliance database. It's not every day we get to treat someone under the care of the Blade of Marmora," Jamie explains, eying Lance again. It's clear what he's implying, and Lance shakes his head.

"I'm not Galra, but my —” 

He stops himself, unsure of what to call Keith. He's not _just_ a friend, but he's definitely not his boyfriend. Partner? Co-parent? Former-teammate-he-knocked-up? 

"Azure's father is part-Galra," Lance settles on, stumbling over the words in his absolute scramble to get them out. "Her...um... _other_ father."

"I see." Dr. Jamie nods in understanding. Unphased, he scrolls down Azure's file before landing on a section labeled paternity. 

The initial wave of emotion nearly has Lance falling flat on his ass in shock. In plain text, he sees cleanly: 

**_Parents:_ ** _Keith Kogane (father, carrier), Lance McClain (father)._ ****

The truth has been neatly listed in a medical file all this time. It wasn’t masked or censored with a thick, black sharpie. It was never classified or top secret as Keith had insisted—it was always there right under his nose. 

“Huh, I didn't realize you were a former paladin of Voltron,” Dr. Jamie says and it’s clear by the way his voice is drenched in intent and flirtatiousness that it's a lie. “Almost didn't recognize you."

"Yeah...I get that a lot," Lance replies. Once again, the prestige of his former life is far more interesting to everyone else but him. "Do you need anything else for her file?"

"Nope." Dr. Jamie grins, looking back at Azure. The girl is currently curling around the lion doll. Lance wonders if he should move the wastebasket over incase she vomits again. "Okay, Azure. How are you feeling?"

"Bad," she replies softly, almost like an accident spilling out of her inward drawn lips. Her blue eyes don’t lose their harshness. That’s all she is willing to tell him.

"Oh no, that's yucky! Let me see if we can figure out what's up," Dr. Jamie announces in that overly animated way some adults have when talking to kids. Azure stares at him like he’s grown another head, and it’s obvious his attempts at friendliness aren’t winning her over. 

Dr. Jamie proceeds to check her vitals. A quick look at her eyes, ears, and throat. When her temperature confirms her fever, he glances at Lance over his shoulder.

"Is this her first time on Earth?" he asks, tone somewhat dismissive. Lance nods and the doctor hums, turning back to Azure. "Do you feel dizzy? Like you spun around really, really fast?"

Azure nods slowly, holding Blue tighter. This seems to be enough for his diagnosis.

"She's most likely suffering from atmosphere sickness,” he explains, flipping his stethoscope back around his neck. "As great as the teleduvs are, they don't account for the factor that every body adjusts to planets differently."

"Is it serious?" Lance asks, feeling like a useless parent for not knowing anything about atmosphere sickness. On the table, Azure extends her arms toward him and Lance quickly scoops her up. She rests her head against his clavicle, cuddling closer. It's like holding a radiator.

"Not particularly. It's common in children when they move between planets. Some patients recover after a day or so. If it lasts longer than a week, you should come back," he says, and Lance doesn’t tell him that he only has Azure until the end of the week. Dr. Jamie pulls a tablet pen from the breast pocket of his white coat. "I'll prescribe some anti-nausea medication, but really she just needs rest. For food, stick with clear liquids and bland carbohydrates like rice, oatmeal, crackers, and toast. A simple soup broth is alright, too."

Lance nods as the information is shared with his phone and holopad. Dr. Jamie also reaches into his back pocket, pulling out an old school business card with his personal cell phone number on it. When he hands it to Lance, he takes it dumbly.

"And if you have questions, feel free to call me. _Anytime_ ," he says with a cocky, flirty smile. 

Lance gapes at the boldness like a fish out of water. It’s not the first time someone has flirted with him relentlessly, but this time it makes his stomach sour. The brazenness is so straightforward, it’s downright overbearing. 

He doesn’t even have a chance to refute the offer, because at that very moment Azure leans forward and throws up all over the front of Dr. Jamie's white coat.

* * *

When they return to Lance’s apartment, he’s relieved to see the vomit from earlier is gone. The last thing he needs is more to clean up. He carries Azure to the bedroom, placing her gingerly on the mattress. 

“How are you feeling?” he asks, and Azure shrugs snuggling into Blue. “Don’t like being sick, huh?”

Azure shakes her head, her mop of black hair bouncing. Lance sighs, running his hand across her cheek. Her nightgown is still getting washed, and he doesn’t need more of her clothes getting dirty if she throws up again. Climbing to his feet, he makes his way to his closet and digs through the drawers he keeps at the bottom. 

She’s too petite to fit into much, but he manages to find one of Nadia’s t-shirts that accidentally made its way into Lance’s suitcases during his move. It’s a simple gray shirt with a NASA logo on it. He’s been meaning to bring it back to Luis, but now it seems his procrastination has paid off. 

Even though Nadia is older than Azure, it’s small enough to work. Lance changes her quickly and finds the shirt manages to cover her like a make-shift nightgown. It’s the best he can do until the laundry is done. 

“Comfy?” he asks and Azure looks down at the shirt and nods. “Okay, where do you want to set up? Bedroom or living room?”

Azure’s brow furrows and her nose scrunches in thought. “Where will Papa be?”

“Probably out in the living room.”

“Then I wanna go there.” She nods, pointing outside the doorway. Lance doesn’t know why he even bothered asking.

He quickly makes his way to the linen closet in the hallway, grabbing the only extra sheet he has and drapes it across the sofa. Azure follows him around the apartment like a second shadow as he sets her up in the living room. 

“What’s that?” she asks and Lance sees she’s pointing to his unopened box of Voltron memorabilia in the corner. Anxiety curls back up his throat.

“Nothing,” he says sternly. “Do _not_ touch that box.”

“Why not?”

Lance can think of at least twenty reasons why, but none of them are appropriate for a toddler. Instead, he lands on the classic, “Because I said so.”

“Because _why?_ ”

He ignores her, not falling for the obvious trap. 

From under the kitchen sink, Lance grabs a round, blue, plastic wash basin and sets it next to the couch. Azure looks at it suspiciously as he points to it. “When you need to throw up, do it there. Aim for the bucket. Got it?”

Azure nods in understanding, following him back inside the bedroom. She watches as Lance strips the light gray blanket from the mattress and takes one of the two pillows under his arm. He carries them back to the living room and places them at the end of the sofa to create a makeshift bed. Azure tilts her head seeming confused by the setup. 

“You’re gonna rest here,” Lance explains, patting the couch as if he’s trying to get a dog to hop on the seat. Azure slowly makes her way over and climbs up onto the cushions, snuggling with Blue as Lance covers her with the gray blanket. “Do you want Captain Taki too?”

“Yes, please.”

He returns a tick later and hands her the stuffed yalmor. Fully armed with her stuffed animals and puke bucket, Lance lets out a long exhale, heading to the kitchenette. “Now we just gotta give you some medicine.”

Hearing the word medicine triggers a yell from Azure like he’s just given her a death sentence.

“No!” she whines, squirming under the covers. “I don’t like medicine!”

“Well, tough cookies. It’s going to help you feel better,” Lance says, pulling out the bottle of syrup from the pharmacy bag on the counter. “Look, it’s even cherry-flavored!”

Azure’s tiny head pops up from under the covers, glaring at him from across the room. “What’s cherry?”

“It’s a fruit so it’ll be sweet, just like candy.”

Lance can already tell from her face that Azure is not buying this sales pitch. She's too smart for her own good, and would rather keep throwing up than take medicine. He’d say it’s typical toddler logic, but he remembers first hand what a terrible patient Keith was on the Castleship. 

Once on a mission together, Keith had been bitten by an alien snake (because all snakes are terrible) and had been too stubborn to use a medical patch and had ended up getting himself poisoned. Lance had to carry him back to their lions and he’d spent a week in the medbay. That wasn't even the worst part. All Keith had done was complain the whole time and refused to take medication until Coran stuck him with an IV. Lance had been the only one who would put up with him, hanging out to play cards to keep him busy. 

It's some kind of cosmic irony that now he needs to figure this out with their daughter.

“Icky,” she announces, going back to hiding under the covers. “I don’t want it!”

He makes his way to the sofa, sitting on the floor with the medicine bottle and a spoon. “Azure, c’mon you need to take this to feel better.”

“No!”

“ _Azure_ , please?” Lance begs, climbing up onto the couch. The blankets are a tangled mess as he attempts to extricate her from her hiding place. She’s wily and manages to squirms out of his reach, crawling to the other side of the sofa and crossing her arms over her chest in a pout.

“No! No! _No!_ ” Azure fights, puffing her chest, and thrashing her feet. “No medicine!”

They stare at each other for a long moment as if Azure is trying to get him to put away the medicine bottle by sheer willpower. Lance runs his hands over his face, sighing loudly. He doesn’t want to be the parent who raises his voice or threatens with scare tactics.

Thinking back, he remembers Lisa sneaking Sylvio and Nadia medicine through applesauce when they were disagreeable toddlers. She was so sly that once he had taken a spoonful by mistake and had gotten a mouth full of Robitussin. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have any applesauce and worries giving Azure food may trigger another round of vomiting. 

Standing quickly, he makes his way to the kitchenette and begins searching on his phone for any insights on how to get toddlers to take medicine. He lands on a parenting blog that lists out multiple ways to bamboozle children into taking liquid medicine. One that stands out to him is offering a reward for obeying. He knows from experience that a little bribery can go a long way. If he’s going to pull this off, he can’t be too pushy but also needs to offer Azure something of value.

“Let’s make a deal,” Lance says, coming to lean against the arm of the sofa so he’s facing Azure. She makes eye contact with him but still glances away at times to look warily at the bottle on the coffee table. Like it’ll try something funny if she doesn’t keep watch over it. “If you take your medicine today, then you’ll get a special wish.”

“A wish?” Azure repeats, nose scrunching. “What kinda wish?”

“Up to you. I’ll do whatever you wish, but you only get one,” Lance explains, holding up his index finger. “And it has to be, y’know, _reasonable_. Like, if you wish for a pony I don’t think Daddy will be cool with you bringing that on the ship. Kosmo’s already as big as a pony.”

Her slightly upturned nose scrunches in confusion. “What’s a pony?”

“Something you’re not getting.”

Azure squints at him suspiciously, and Lance holds his hands up in a truce. 

“You’re going to have to take this stuff one way or the other. So you might as well get something out of it.”

“And Papa _has_ to do the wish, right?” Azure clarifies in a softer voice. He nods. “Promise?”

“I promise.”

“Cross your heart?”

“Cross my heart,” Lance repeats, making a criss-cross gesture cross his chest. “Your wish is my command. Do we have a deal?” 

Lance reaches his hand out to shake hers, eyebrows wiggling. Her eyes crinkle at the corners as she tries to keep from smiling.

“Okay,” Azure agrees, shaking his hand. She slowly scoots forward on the cushion, resigned to accept her fate. It's overdramatic like she’s on death row and Lance is her executioner.

He takes a spoonful of medicine and she opens her mouth wide, eyes closing tight. “I’ll make it quick.”

Taste buds are concentrated on the front and center of the tongue, so Lance aims to bypass those finicky taste zones by dropping the medicine between the rear gums and the inside of her cheek, where it easily glides down her throat with minimal contact with her taste buds. Still, when she swallows her dosage, Azure looks miserable.

“Good job, birdie,” he says once it’s clear she won’t spit up the medicine. He kisses her forehead, noticing her fever still hasn’t broken. “Pleasure doing business with you.”

Azure doesn’t reply, already giving him the cold shoulder as she takes Blue into her hands and crawls back under the blanket. The only time she reaches out is to grab Captain Taki’s leg to pull the stuffed animal under as well. A mop of black hair appears at the other end of the blanket as she adjusts to the other side of the sofa. She pouts, not sparing him even a glance.

Still on the floor, Lance leans his chin on his hand, his elbow balanced against the sofa. He pokes at one of her feet, and she curls it away. “So, what’s your wish?”

He looks hopefully over at her and finds her staring blankly forward with tired glassy eyes. For a brief moment, Lance considers repeating himself to make sure Azure actually heard him.

“Can I make it later?” she asks and Lance is a little bit surprised, but not concerned. Maybe she wants to save it for when she’s feeling better. He nods and she sinks down on the couch, eyes closing. Lance has just picked up the television remote when Azure blurts out with zero build-up. “I don’t like Dr. Jamie.”

Lance looks up from the remote control in his hands, blinking curiously back at Azure. “Why? Because he made you take medicine?”

Azure doesn’t say anything else from where she’s hidden under the covers. She really must hate getting sick, he feels sorry for her. 

“You know, if you get better we don’t have to see him again,” Lance says, trying to offer her a bright side. This seems to get her attention, her mop of hair popping up from the blankets like a hopeful gopher. 

Lance opens up one of his video streaming services to set Azure up with a movie to watch as she rests. Scrolling through multiple animated princess movies, nothing seems to really catch her attention until he accidentally skips to the educational section and there's a show about anthropomorphic lions running some kind of library.

“Lions!” Azure gasps and Lance raises an eyebrow. Looking at synopsis, it seems to be one of those educational shows that try to sneak a lesson into its plots.

“Are you sure you want to watch this?” he asks and Azure nods her head in determination. Lance shrugs, hitting play and settling back against the sofa as the show starts. 

Surprisingly, he’s just as captivated as Azure by the puppet lions on screen and before he knows it there’s a buzz of his bell signaling the laundry has been delivered. He checks the clock on his phone and sees that it’s already dinner time

His phone vibrates. On the top of his screen, a notification comes through.

**Keith** : Got away for a sec— 

Lance swipes the notification away before he can read the entire message, trying to push aside how nervous and guilty it makes him. He’ll get back to Keith later, but right now he needs to figure out a way for Azure to eat something. While pulling the ingredients out, he feels his phone vibrate in his pocket and isn't surprised to see it's Keith calling. Lance taps the button to ignore it, pocketing the phone again. He'll call him back after dinner.

Azure takes her second dose of medicine and is able to keep down a small bowl of chicken noodle soup Lance makes using the instant mix he picked up from the canteen. Once done, she’s quickly sucked back into the show, and Lance puts away her dirty dishes before making his way into the bedroom to put away the laundry. 

He sits down at the edge of the bed and opens his phone. His intention is to reply to Keith, but he ends up in the comment section of the parenting blog from earlier.

_**FantasticMama76:** Seriously? Anyone who has to resort to bribing their kid to take medicine is embarrassing. What kind of parent would stoop to that level of desperation? _

It’s one comment, and Lance knows better than to let it strike him. It’s just some stranger on the internet, who cares what they think? Then, he scrolls to the next one.

_**BumblingBrie** : @FantasticMama76 I was just about to comment on this! Honestly, if I heard of anyone doing this I would seriously consider calling CPS _

This sends Lance into a panic for a multitude of reasons, and soon he’s scrolling through every comment, every criticism, every judgment of bad parenting under the post. When he's run out, he taps on a related story that's titled: “Inattentive Mom Misses Son’s Atmosphere Sickness Symptoms.” It’s an entire article shaming a woman who didn’t do her due diligence in ensuring her child didn’t get atmosphere sickness. 

Apparently, you’re supposed to give your child anti-nausea medication one to two hours before traveling through teleduvs and slowly adjust them to a new planet’s environment over the course of a few days. Unlike Lance, who did none of those things, because he didn’t know. Dr. Jamie told him it was common, but was he just saying that to be nice? Did he just want to sleep with a former paladin of Voltron?

The comment section sucks him back in.

_**HopeElephantx3:** Not to be rude but if you don’t know this you shouldn’t be traveling. Period. _

_**FatherSmile** _ _: Just say you’re a bad parent and move on_.

He hears each of the comments through the voice of his _Sneaky Critic_.

_You’re a bad parent._

The external validation of all his fears is manifesting themselves in this comment board. It’s a constant hit of doubt pouring into his veins, his phone screen like a syringe driving the needle under his skin. 

_It’s all your fault,_ the Sneaky Critic hisses, rising up in his chest like smoke from a fire long thought extinguished. 

He tips backward, falling into the rabbit hole as he reads nothing but the confirmation of his own fears. Blogs on the impact of absentee fathers on their children, infinite comment threads about parents who suffer from addiction passing on the same traits to their children in a never-ending cycle. What if he’s already passed that on to Azure?

_You can’t raise a child. You can’t even take care of yourself._

His heart pounds in his ears, vision hazing. He tries to take a deep breath and almost chokes, gasping for air. He smacks a hand over his mouth not wanting Azure to hear him from the living room. 

He feels the sensation of his phone vibrating in his hand again, and when his gaze drops he sees it’s Keith calling. He remembers Keith’s parting words before Lance left with Azure: “Try to live up to her expectations.” 

_She’ll find out the truth about you._

_Just like Keith did._

_Everyone knows._

It's obvious he isn't cut out for this.

Lance’s thumb swipes against the ignore call button, sending Keith straight to voicemail. He doesn’t want Keith to hear him like this, he’s a shell of the man he used to be. Who was Lance kidding thinking that Keith would ever fall for someone as broken as him? You can’t love a broken thing. 

Droplets of water land on his screen, and it takes Lance a solid second to realize it’s from tears dripping off his chin. He folds into himself, tears falling in self-loathing silence.

He wants to call Shiro but doesn't want to admit to him just how badly he's messed up. That Azure got sick because of his ineptitude. Shiro and Keith are already fighting, and it’ll just wedge the gap between them even further apart. Shiro’s put so much on the line for Lance, and all he’ll do once again is pile another burden on Shiro's already full plate. All because, even after a year sober, he still can’t get his shit together.

Lance scrubs his face with his hands, willing himself to stop. Reaching into his pocket, with a shaky hand he pulls out a piece of strawberry gum and begins chewing. He rolls the wrapper between his thumb and forefinger, mindlessly.

Lance jolts when he hears a crash from the living room. He leaps to his feet, clamoring through the hallway and instantly seeing that Azure is no longer on the couch. A sweep of the perimeter ends in the corner of the room where the once closed box of his long-forgotten Voltron paraphernalia sits. Azure has opened it in her curiosity, digging through its contents, and it’s like she’s ripping layers off his skin, picking at every scar. 

His helmet is what made the noise, as it’s been discarded off to the side and has rolled up against the wall. On the floor, lay a few signed autographs from their coalition shows.

At her feet are photos he used to have pinned up in his lion or his room on the Castleship. Selfies he had taken with the others after they had liberated planets from Zarkon, candid pictures he’d shot of Allura or Shiro as they worked around the ship, team photos Coran had demanded they take once he’d learned the wonders of Lance’s camera phone. Lance had no pictures of him and Keith together, never finding the time to take any after Keith had returned to the team from the Blade of Marmora.

The picture Azure’s gazing at is one Lance hasn’t been able to stomach in years. It’s the photo of Lance and Allura together from their first date. Azure’s brows are furrowed as if she’s unable to understand what she’s seeing. 

Lance marches over, his footsteps loud enough to startle Azure. She regards him from her seat on the floor, obviously caught red-handed doing the one thing he told her not to do. She doesn’t even try to hide it, though.

“Why are you and Auntie Allura together?” she demands, holding up the picture like it is some damning evidence. 

It throws Lance for a loop because she appears to be upset by the photograph. He doesn’t want to look at the photo, not directly, but turning his head he’s able to catch the way neither of them are truly smiling. How forced it looks now, years later.

Then he shakes his head, remembering that he’s the parent and he doesn’t need to explain anything. 

“Azure, I told you not to go in there!” he reprimands, pulling the photo from her grip and throwing it into the box with everything else. This is not the shit he wants to be dealing with right now. In her hands, she clutches other photos. “Let go of those pictures right now!”

His words don’t reach her. Azure’s eyes are narrowed, and it’s the same look she had at the lion’s den. Lance pries the photographs from her hands and pulls her off the box. She pushes herself forward, trying to get her hands back on the photos, screaming. 

“No!”

“Azure!”

She’s fighting him, squirming and kicking to try and grab the pictures. He doesn’t have any choice but to yank the cardboard box away from her and stand with it so the box is out of her reach. Azure climbs to her feet and tries to jump to reach the box, but she’s so small it’s fruitless.

“You have until the count of three to get back on the couch,” Lance threatens, holding the box with one arm and pointing to the sofa across the room. His patience is waning like a rubber band being pulled taut. “One.”

Azure doesn’t move, her tiny fists at her side as she glares up at him through her bangs. Her body is shaking and he can’t tell if it’s from the fever or her tantrum. His patience is at its limits, stretching as far as it can go.

“Two.”

“Where are your pictures with Daddy?” she demands, her gaze never wavering. Her question hits him like a shot through the heart, and it’s enough for the rubber band to snap and break. His temper finally boils over, and he doesn’t wait for the count of three.

“ _That’s it!_ ” Lance yells, marching off to put the box on the top shelf of the closet in his hallway. Azure runs beside him, screaming for him to stop.

“Papa, no!” she yells, clawing at his pants as she tries to reach for the box. “I want to see! Please, Papa! _Please!_ ”

She’s desperate for the box as if inside there’s some secret to her fathers’ relationship. Physical proof that they were anything other than what they were — a drunken mistake.

He disentangles himself from her, hauling the box up and shoving it against his suitcase and a deflated air mattress. When he slams the door closed, she screams again, pounding against his leg with a tiny balled-up fist.

“Why don’t you have pictures with Daddy?” she cries, holding back her tears. The muscles in her face are tense, her jaw tight. “You should have pictures with the person you love!”

The words cut him at the knees. Lance’s so shocked he can practically taste it.

“I want Daddy,” Azure hiccups softly.

Lance takes a shuddering breath, everything is shutting down, breaking, falling apart inside and around him. All he can hear is the rush of blood in his ears, and he’s drowning in the sound. Under his skin, he feels the molten heat of every hit of dope he’s ever taken trying to forget everything he's lost. On his tongue, he tastes every drop of vodka he’s poured down his throat with the hope that the next bottle would kill him so he’d never again have to think about how much he misses Allura but has never stopped loving Keith.

For the first time during his sobriety, Lance _knows_ that he won’t do either of those things to ease his pain. Even if he’s reached the limit of what his heart can handle, he won’t do a damn thing with Azure here.

He loves her more than he hates himself.

Lance’s shoulders slump, and he lets out a defeated sigh. He takes Azure in his arms, still not answering her questions or giving her access to the box. 

“Then I’ll call Daddy to take you home.”

“I don’t wanna go home! _Papa!_ ” She grabs at his shirt, tugging as if it’ll get his attention. It doesn’t. “Don’t tell Daddy! I wanna stay!”

Gingerly, Lance places her back on the couch and then turns around to make his way to the bathroom. She’s up instantly, bare feet padding against the floor as she chases after him. He slams the door in her face before she can follow him inside. Pressing the button on the doorknob, Lance locks it with a click. Azure still tries to jiggle the handle.

“Please, Papa!” she screams, giving up on the knob and slamming her hands against the wood of the door. “Sorry! I’m sorry! Please open!”

Lance doesn’t know if she means the box in the closet or the door to the bathroom. Either way, both are staying closed.

“Go to sleep, Azure,” he orders, and it comes out choked. Leaning against the door, he slides his body down until he lands in a boneless heap on the floor.

“ _No!_ ”

“GO TO SLEEP!” Lance screams through the door, his voice raw. The echoes that bounce off the tiles in the bathroom don’t sound like his voice. 

It does nothing to dissuade her. Azure bangs her fists harder against the door, just as she did when she was stuck in the bedroom. Only this time, she’s on the outside and Lance is on the inside. He’s hiding his face in the cover of his arms, fingers cutting into his skin as he trembles.

Hiding is the only thing he knows he’s good at doing.

Snapping his gum, Lance takes out his phone and calls Keith back. He’s going to tell him to take Azure home. To her real home. Away from him before he does anything else to hurt her. He’ll understand, because Lance has hurt him too. Then they can both go back to never having to deal with Lance in their lives again. It’ll relieve the burden. 

The call rings three times before going to voicemail. Keith’s voice from the recording is clear through the receiver. It still makes Lance’s heart flutter.

“ _It’s Keith. Leave a message._ ”

The harsh beep signaling the start of the recording blares in Lance’s ear. 

“Keith, it’s me. Azure got atmosphere sickness and she's asking for you." Lance's voice cracks but he continues, "Maybe you should come get her." 

On the other side of the door, Azure pleads for him to stop.

Lance squeezes his eyes shut blocking out her cries. "Keith, I’m not any good at this..."

He doesn’t know what else to say. He tries not to breathe too deeply, out of fear he will hiccup on a sob. There’s another beep. 

_“We’re sorry. This call has been disconnected.”_

The call ends before capturing the voicemail. Lance stares blankly at his phone, tapping Keith’s number to call again. It rings once.

_“We’re sorry. This call cannot be completed as dialed.”_

He ends the call. Keith must be avoiding him since Lance ignored his text and call. Maybe he got wind that not only did Azure cut up her hands and knees, but she also got atmosphere sickness. Maybe he’s figured out just how badly Lance is messing everything up and doesn’t even want to talk to him about it. Keith’s finally realized he’s a failure.

“I’m sorry, Keith...I fucked this up again,” Lance whimpers quietly, as he finally allows himself to fully break down. He curls around himself, forehead against his knees, snotty sobs echoing around the bathroom tiles. He cries so hard, he needs to crawl over to the toilet and puke until there is nothing left but dry heaves and wracking sobs.

Leaning against the rim of the toilet bowl, Lance buries his face into his arms and tries to focus on evening out his breathing. Breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth, counting between his breaths. He needs to pull himself together.

Keith obviously can’t take his call for whatever reason, so Lance has no choice but to deal with it and call him in the morning. Even if it seems impossible with all the anxiety-ridden thoughts plaguing him. In the morning they can figure out what to do with Azure.

In his attempts to call Keith, Azure's gone quiet. Lance makes his way to his feet on shaky legs, washes his face and stares at his reflection. His face is red and blotchy, eyes still burning. He can only look for a second before turning away to unlock the door. Instantly, he sees Azure curled up outside of it. She’s fallen asleep on the floor, cuddling her blue lion doll in her arms. 

He crouches down to take her into his arms and notices the stains of tear tracks on her cheeks. According to Shiro, Azure only cries when she is lonely.

Guilt weighs even heavier on his heart, as he embraces her tightly. He thinks of the familiar loneliness in the darkest days of his addiction—the type most people never feel in their entire lifetime. How could he have done this to her? What kind of father is he if he can’t even protect her from himself?

With a heavy heart, he carries her back to the living room where all the bedding still sits and lays her across the sofa. Covering her with the gray blanket, he watches her curl against the pillow and mumbles something incoherent. 

Stumbling to his linen closet, Lance is midway through grabbing a pillow and his only other blanket when a bright blue light flashes behind him, and with a crackle, Kosmo appears in the middle of his hallway. The wolf sits on the floor as if he belongs there, tail wagging fast enough to cause a small breeze.

Lance is so emotionally drained, he can’t even find the will power to care or wonder why the wolf is there. 

“You’re either a figment of my imagination or have terrible timing,” Lance says, petting the wolf and Kosmo nudges his head against Lance’s hand as if trying to get his attention. “I’m not playing. Go somewhere else.”

Kosmo stops with a small whine, yellow eyes following down the hallway as Lance makes his way back to the living room. He stands across from where Azure is sleeping on the couch.

Dropping his pillow on the floor, Lance makes himself as comfortable as he can across from her. In the back of his mind, he’s still vaguely aware that Kosmo is somewhere in the apartment too. Maybe tearing through the laundry or sleeping on the bed, who knows. Lance is just about to drift off when he hears a tiny whisper.

“Can I please stay with you, Papa?”

Cracking one eye open, he sees Azure’s half-lidded eyes staring down at him, still swollen from crying. Even in the dark, the blue of her irises glitters.

Lance reaches up to where her tiny hand is dangling from the edge of the couch and squeezes it tightly. “Okay.”

She squeezes back, her bandage rough against his palm. “I’m sorry for being bad.”

“Me too, birdie.”

With their hands clasped together, Lance’s thoughts fade into darkness as he finally falls into a dreamless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to [BKBS](https://twitter.com/imonstandbi) for the illustration of Azure with Captain Taki and Blue! It really pulls the scene together.
> 
> VioletFoxTales get even more thanks than usual this week because she read this super long chapter and somehow made ME get more emotional over Azure. Poor baby...
> 
> You can leave comments yelling at me for hurting your feelings. It's cool. 
> 
> Next chapter - Keith goes to a party!
> 
> Thank you, everyone!


	9. Sheer Heart Attack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “If we’re not going to talk about whatever this is,” Acxa finally says, motioning to Keith with a swipe of her hand. “Then can we discuss how we’re supposed to handle this banquet?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! A lot of interest has perked up for this fic since the last update. Hello new readers, apologies in advance for the hurt I'm about to bestow upon you in the name of klance.
> 
> Big kudos to my beta VioletFoxTales who messaged me last night telling me Keith needs to be in more danger, and who am to deny that? Happy Father's Day to Keith - sorry to you too, buddy.
> 
> Slight warning - there's blood/violence in this chapter. Things start to get a little grizzly after the point "Cracks appear in the ground beneath their boots" and the fighting ends at "Shiro’s arm zooms back to his place at his side."
> 
> Good luck!

"What the hell is wrong with your face?"

Keith groans. He’s stuck waiting for the lift down to Luxuria’s surface with Ezor, Zethrid, and Acxa again. It’s been hours since his call with Lance, but the excitement still has him walking around in a giddy daze. On one hand, he knows it’s a recipe for disaster to allow himself to get wrapped up in his feelings all over again, but on the other hand: Lance.

He knows he’s playing with fire by letting himself get his hopes up again. Still, he can’t seem to care this time. Keith got to talk to him, see his face, and it felt like they were easily falling back into the friendly dynamic he’s missed so much. It’s not as if he’s scribbling hearts in the margins of his notebooks around the different ways to hyphenate their last names (Kogane-McClain is his favorite, not that he’s thought about it _at all_ ), but he’s slowly opening himself up to the _possibility_. 

Now that he has context for Lance’s life in those missing years, it feels less like Lance abandoned him and more like he needed time to catch up. Overcoming addiction is no easy task. In the years since he’s taken over the Blade of Marmora from Kolivan, he’s crossed paths with many former Blades who have fallen into the same spiral of substance abuse to cope with the loss and trauma of war. Not all of them, if any, had the strength to pull themselves out of the cycle.

It’s not as if Lance was the only one who could’ve handled their hook up on Altea better. Keith should have known Lance was not in the emotional state to think clearly about their relationship. He was still mending a broken heart after losing both Allura and the lions. But Keith had loved him for so long that he had rushed in blindly at the first opportunity to be with Lance. It’s not exactly surprising it ended up being overwhelming for the both of them, falling apart before it could even begin. Good things take time.

But it feels different this time. As if the paths they’ve both been on for the last three years have diverted and are finally coming back together. Keith hates being vulnerable, but he’ll do it for Azure to have the chance to have both of her fathers in her life.

“Maybe he ate something weird?”

“I didn’t eat anything weird,” Keith grunts, glancing over his shoulder to where Ezor and Zethrid are still staring. They're both in their blade uniforms, and Keith and Acxa are in their senior officer uniforms. On his left, Ezor pokes his cheek, the fabric of her glove dulling the impact of her claws.

"Touch me again and you'll need a new glass eye," he snaps, turning away from her. Kosmo pants next to him, drooling. Obviously not concerned about his master's safety in the slightest. 

"Aw, do our benefits cover the replacement if it’s damaged by my commanding officer?” she preens before leaning back next to Zethrid to balance a hand on her hip. “But seriously, what’s up? You look conflicted.”

“He could also be constipated,” Zethrid offers with a nod towards Keith. “Humans have so many emotions sometimes they blend together.”

“Good point, baby!” Ezor snaps her finger. “Boss, are you getting enough fiber?”

Acxa interrupts before Keith can reply. “He’s not constipated, he just spoke to _Lance_. There was so much latent longing I was able to hear it through the door of his office.” Her voice falls in a deadpan. “Most disgustingly sappy garbage I’ve ever heard in my life.”

“There wasn’t anything sappy,” Keith hisses. “We were just catching up on Azure.”

The elevator appears with a ding, and Acxa arches a thin eyebrow in suspicion. “Sounded to me there were other things you were catching up on.”

Keith gives her a look of warning before shoving past her to enter the elevator. There's a pause before the others board behind him. It’s still a tight squeeze, and Kosmo makes no effort to adjust to make it any more comfortable. No one talks and the silence stretches long enough to feel awkward.

“If we’re not going to talk about whatever _this_ is,” Acxa finally says, motioning to Keith with a swipe of her hand. “Then can we discuss how we’re supposed to handle this banquet?”

“You still don’t trust Kuunia?” Keith asks and Acxa’s eyes narrow.

“Of course not, anyone who had sympathy for former members of the Fire of Purification is not to be trusted,” she insists, referencing their latest round of failed Alliance talks. “You must’ve recognized that one adviser from Sendak's fleet — Dromaku. He was one of Honerva's dark magicians and brought up how Sendak’s forces operated more times than the flooding.”

Truth be told, Keith hadn’t because he wouldn’t have been able to identify any one of Sendak’s squad out of a line up. He was also too busy thinking about Lance and Azure to pay attention to anyone else at those meetings. 

“That’s because Sendak’s forces had him on the take,” Ezor explains, adding herself into the conversation. “Zethy and I got drinks with some of Kuunia’s guards last night.” 

“Why?” Acxa asks, her brows furrowing and lips curling. The Luxurians are a mix between birds and centaurs, and Axca’s complained to Keith on multiple occasions that she’s never been a fan of any type of quadruped people. Something about hooves freaks her out. As if he has any control over the species of the planets they help. 

“They were buyin’ and we were bored,” Ezor replies, leaning her elbow on Acxa’s shoulder. “Anywhos, it turns out Kuunia wasn’t always their leader. Luxuria had something along the lines of a democracy before Sendak’s boys rolled in and fucked shit up.”

“ _Language._ ” Acxa hisses and the other woman rolls her good eye dramatically.

“Azzy ain’t here, you nag.”

Keith ignores the squabbling. “Who made him king then?”

Ezor shrugs. “They wouldn’t say, but it didn’t sound like it was done by any election or divine intervention.” 

“Most likely Sendak named him king and was paying him off to keep eyes out for Lotor’s sympathizers,” Zethrid offers. “It was a common way for poor planets to make a quick GAC after Voltron disappeared. The Fire of Purification had a bunch of snitches leading these far-flung, isolated planets. Some from sectors that hadn’t even had involvement in Zarkon’s Empire.”

“They were the backwater of the backwater.” Ezor thumbs out the windows of the elevators. “This dump certainly fits the bill.”

“It’s not a dump. Luxuria is a planet full of people who need our help,” Keith corrects and Ezor waves her hand in a gesture that says _same difference_. Zethrid and Ezor may be senior officers in his crew, but empathy is still something they’re working on. “We’re not here for the politics, that’s the Alliance’s problem. I don’t care who their king is as long as he gives us clearance to expand the aid outside the capital. The villages on the outskirts are the ones most affected by these electromagnetic storms.”

“We won’t get clearance if there are rats in Kuunia’s ranks trying to kill us,” Acxa says, voice stern. “You know, because we’ll be dead.” 

“Look, this won’t be the first time we help a planet dissatisfied with how the Alliance has been organizing itself and it won’t be the last,” Keith says sternly as the elevator stops. He runs his hands through Kosmo’s fur thoughtfully. “There’s a reason we are the only four attending from BOM. I trust you three can handle yourselves.”

“Could be a nice excuse to punch some bird brains.” Zethrid shrugs and Ezor giggles.

“You always look on the bright side, baby!”

Acxa’s attention shifts to the window as the elevator’s doors open. “I still reported our intel to Senators Krolia and Kolivan, and how I believe this banquet is a massive trap.” 

“And?”

“Obviously, it’s still on, even though it’s ill-advised.”

Keith hums as they walk through the hall leading them to the now-familiar atrium of the checkpoint. Kosmo trots at his side. It’s not raining tonight, the first time since they arrived. The dark sky sprinkled with stars but there are clouds rolling in for another bout of storms. In the back of his head, he wonders if Azure enjoys the stars from her new viewpoint on Earth. 

As if on cue, the phone in his pocket vibrates. Pulling it out, he sees it’s a message from Lance with a picture attached. Swiping open the screen, it’s clearly a photo of a still sleeping Azure curled around Captain Taki and her newest stuffed animal, a blue lion plushie named Blue. 

Underneath is a follow-up text from Lance.

**Lance** : [1 image] 

**Lance** : i’m outnumbered.

Keith can’t help but smile at his phone. Behind him, Ezor and Zethrid make gagging noises. He ignores it, not even they can ruin his good mood. The text he replies with is short and sweet.

**Keith** : That’s nothing. Wait til you see her bedroom.

It’s meant to be light, while also hinting at the possibility of Lance coming back to Keith’s ship to see Azure’s room. Maybe staying for dinner after he drops off their daughter. Again, nothing official, just the possibility being put out there to exist in the cosmos. For the universe to do with it what it may.

**Lance** : it soooo does not surprise me that you’ve been spoiling her with stuffed animals 

**Lance** : im sure she has an army by now

Keith is able to reply back with a simple “lol” before he hears his name being called. Looking up, he spots Shiro and his mother waiting for them outside the checkpoint.

“You certainly took your time. Kolivan is already inside,” Krolia says as a means of greetings. 

“Boss lost track of time because he was busy talking to his crushy-wushy,” Ezor teases before getting a swift kick in the shin from Acxa. “ _Ow!_ ”

While Keith is thankful to Acxa for the attempted cover, Ezor’s teasing is still enough for Shiro to send a smug look in his direction. Kosmo circles around his brother, begging for pets as if the wolf hasn’t seen the man in years.

“We’re here now,” Keith replies gruffly, and with a snap of his fingers, Kosmo is back at his side. “Let’s get moving.”

The castle stands on a rugged slope. The golden walls are half-ruined from a millennia of war, the windows dark and gaping. Moonlit rainwater gathers in puddles as large as ponds at its base. 

Once again, the castle's guards stand at attention as they enter, none of them giving Keith a problem with Kosmo this time around. The palace is still a maze, but the music wafting through the halls is a good indicator of where they need to go to reach the ballroom.

They approach a set of doors at the end of a long hall. A quick woosh of the doors opening and closing leads them to a large room, and given its outdated decor, it’s a bit on the gaudy side. The furniture reminds Keith of an antique store, but despite that, even he has to admit the mural painted across the ballroom’s ceiling is a thing of beauty. A relic from another lifetime showing the rich history of the Luxurian people. The walls are golden, arching up toward a giant chandelier hanging in the middle of the room.

“Ah, if it isn’t our guests of honor!”

Wobbling on four legs is King Kuunia, making his way towards them through the modest crowd of attendees. Kosmo growls deeply, and Keith shushes him to keep the wolf at heel. 

Kuunia is shorter than the other Luxurians Keith has seen, with a potbelly hanging low in front of his forelegs and barely covered by his royal robes. The colors of the feathers around his eyes are dull compared to those dancing around them, and judging by the saturation of the feathers resting on his head, he poorly dyes them to appear more youthful. 

Everything about this guy makes Keith’s skin crawl as it’s clear the only thing he loves more than his own greed is attention. Otherwise, he wouldn’t keep demanding an audience with them only to keep stringing them along.

“Thank you for the invitation, your majesty.” Shiro nods with a respectful bow. “Allow me to introduce myself, I’m—”

“Takashi Shirogane, the captain of the IGF-ATLAS and senior representative for the Galactic Alliance,” King Kuunia interrupts his voice a shrill squawk. “I know exactly who you are. It’s why I’ve set up this banquet in honor of the Alliance.” 

“And it’s most appreciated,” Shiro says, unfailingly politely. “If we may request, the Senators and I would love to hold a private audience with you to discuss a possible partnership with the Alliance. The Blade of Marmora can also be very helpful in supporting an integrated approach towards sustainability across Luxuria's agriculture, forestry, and fisheries.”

“We will certainly catch up after tonight's banquet,” Kuunia waves him off dismissively with a large feathered arm. Behind him, a tall, thin cloaked man emerges from the crowd holding a staff. He isn’t Luxurian, but definitely holds high status given his proximity to Kuunia. Under the hood, purple skin with a sharp chin and thin mouth flashes from under the hood. Keith can’t recognize the man for the life of him, but luckily his mother has a better memory.

“Dromaku,” she greets, pleasantly with a nod. The man does not give her the same courtesy,

“It seems the Alliance is still desperate to meddle in every affair it can in order to help the Alteans claw their way back to power,” Dromaku sneers, voice dripping with condescension. Keith quickly recognizes him as the one who gave them so much grief over landing on Luxuria from the start. He turns to look down at the king, disregarding their presence entirely. “I don’t see how any alliance would benefit the Luxurian people, your majesty. All we would be is another planet to add to _their_ arsenal.”

“The idea of an alliance is all of us working together, supporting each other,” Shiro assures, though there's an edge of authority in his voice that Keith recognizes from their Voltron days. It’s the tone he would use right before telling him and Lance to stop arguing and focus on the mission. “Given your planet's waning agricultural systems, there is much we can help support.”

Dromaku is silent and King Kuunia doesn’t seem to want to speak about the topic any longer. “Yes, yes, there is so much to discuss but please enjoy the banquet. There will be plenty of time for diplomatics after we’ve enjoyed ourselves.”

With that, King Kuunia and Dromaku leave to greet other guests entering the ballroom. In his pocket, Keith’s phone buzzes and he swipes it open to see it’s another message from Lance.

**Lance** : how's ur dinner party? anything interesting happen? 

Glancing around, Kolivan, Krolia, and Shiro are busy discussing the interaction with King Kuunia and Dromaku. Once it’s clear that nobody is looking at him for input, he rapidly sends his reply to Lance.

**Keith** : No. People suck. Music sucks. 

**Keith** : I can already tell their King won't budge on accepting relief aid

 **Lance** : what kind of asshole doesn’t want to help his own people?

 **Keith** : The royal kind.

The lack of support is what’s really upsetting him, especially after witnessing the amount of frivolous wealth being thrown around. There’s no need for this much grandiose when there are people right outside the castle desperate for food and clean water. Not to mention, if the flood patterns are any indication, banquets like these are putting a strain on Luxuria’s already fragile agricultural system. Didn’t King Kuunia give a crap about his own planet?

His phone vibrates in his palm when Lance replies.

**Lance** : or he might be an asshole with something to hide. be careful

The message spreads heat in his chest—the nostalgia for Lance’s stable guidance keeping Keith grounded when they used to co-lead Voltron. If there’s one thing he’s learned to trust over the years, it’s Lance’s instincts. 

**Keith** : Good point. I’ll keep an eye out

 **Keith** : And I’m always careful. You’re the one who’s accident-prone.

Keith spots the trail of emojis that come through before he pockets his phone again. The second his hands are back at his side, there’s a familiar cold snout shoving into his palm. Glancing down, he spots Kosmo who’s already seemingly bored by the whole display. Keith sighs, reaching out to comfort him with a scratch between the ears. Considering he’s a wolf, Kosmo is pretty independent for the most part. Keith doesn’t mind if he wanders around the grounds, he’s able to defend himself if met with an enemy.

“Fine you can ditch, but stay out of trouble,” he urges and the wolf wags his tag eagerly, giving Keith a slobbery lick before teleporting out of the ballroom. 

Their group spreads out, and Keith tries his best to mingle with other guests. He is pulled into a conversation with a Luxurian diplomat named Cursey with dark purple plumes and wide hooves that remind Keith of hockey pucks. His break is curled inward and every time he says Keith’s name it sounds like, “ _Feets._ ” 

“These days it’s easy to be cynical, y’know with the famine and the flooding. But I remind myself, we aren’t doing this great work for ourselves, but for our future fledglings,” Cursey squawks, motioning around the banquet with his wide indigo wings. Somehow, he’s also holding a glass, which is confusing. “Do you have any fledglings, _Feets_?”

“Uh, you mean children?”

Cursey nods his head, feathers puffing enthusiastically. “Whatever it is your people call them.”

“Then yes, I do. I have a daughter,” Keith replies, trying to maintain an air of uptight professionalism. “She’s three.”

“Ah, so young! A true nestling,” Cursey preens, taking a generous sip from his glass. It nearly gets stuck on the curve of his beak. “Is she with your mate tonight?”

Keith stiffens. It’s the first time he’s been asked about Lance in this capacity and he’s not entirely sure the best way to describe their relationship. They _certainly_ aren’t mates, that’s for sure, and friend sounds way too casual.

“She’s with family,” Keith lands on, finding it to be the least complicated way to describe his very complicated situation. However, it piques Cursey’s interest.

“Pardon my bluntness, Captain, but I was under the impression that humans typically have children once mated.” He motions to Keith’s gloveless, bare hand. “I don’t see any betrothal jewelry on your person — does that mean you are unmated?”

“Uh, I mean...yes technically. Not that I—” Keith stammers but he is already being swooped up by Cursey, and pushed through the crowd, weaving through a kaleidoscope of colorful feathers until they land in front of another Luxurian. They’re clearly female given her size and coloring, this one is petite and frail with fuchsia feathers and the grace of a dressage horse. Her body is wrapped in expensive-looking fabrics, flowing elegantly between her thin legs and tiny hooves. 

“Captain Kogane, let me introduce you to my daughter, Dorthenia,” Cursey introduces and Keith nods in greeting. She eyes Keith up-and-down before taking a sip of her drink, a happy hum coming from deep within her throat.

“The pleasure is mine, _Captain_ . I’ve heard nothing but thrilling tales about the former Black Paladin. Luxuria is lucky to have your services,” Dorthenia says with one bat of her long eyelashes around her beady eyes. All sorts of warning bells start going off in Keith’s head. Even if the whole bird-horse thing was completely _not_ doing it for him, he is _far_ too old and gay to put up with this nonsense.

“N-No problem,” Keith stutters out, turning to stare straight ahead at the display of food on the other side of the ballroom as if it is the most interesting thing he’s ever seen. “Sorry I can’t stay and talk, but I need to go over there. Immediately. Nice meeting you both.”

He manages to avoid suffering through any more small-talk with senior Luxurian officials and instead sets his attention on the food presented at the banquet. At least the catering won't remind him of Lance and the enigma of their relationship. 

The table is laden with delicacies from end to end. Everything Keith can think of, and things he has never dreamed of, are laid out in front of him in wait. Whole roasted meats still turning on spits. Huge platters of vegetables stuffed with savory fruit and nuts. Ocean creatures drizzled in sauces, begging to be dipped in spicy concoctions. Countless cheeses, bread, vegetables, sweets, waterfalls of liquor, and streams of spirits glimmering in the flames of candles lining the tables.

Hunk and Shay have truly outdone themselves. However, the meat sizzling on the spits makes Keith worry if it’s poultry. Considering these people are part-bird, it may be a bit insensitive. But if it bothers the Luxurians, no one shows it.

Keith fills his plate with food, especially the Bharud steak Hunk had mentioned the other day. Glancing around the room, he tries to find Hunk amongst any of the wait staff. It’s fruitless, so he goes to find a quieter part of the party, sliding into a secluded booth to enjoy his food in peace. Across from him is an empty seat, and despite everything, Keith can’t hide the longing pulling at his heart to have that seat be filled by Lance. 

If they were together, Lance could’ve been on this mission with them, not just for being a well-known and respected former paladin of Voltron, but for his diplomatic experience and skill. At least, that’d be the excuse Keith would have given to Kolivan and Shiro. 

In reality, he’d want to use a banquet like this to admire Lance in his natural element—the center of attention—even though Keith would be out of his usual comfort zone. Still, he has no doubt Lance would dress for the occasion, too. Probably taking the time to get an outfit personally tailored and styled meticulously with bright shimmering blues that would bring out his eyes, and even compliment his marks. He’d probably force Keith to get a suit as well, making a big stink about Keith wearing his Blade leader uniform. Azure would get a kick out of them, demanding her own matching outfit even though she’d have nowhere to go. 

It’s becoming easier to fall into this fantasy—his own personal alternate reality. It reminds Keith of the last mission Voltron ever went on, the one to finally defeat Honerva once and for all. At that time, Allura was so drained from fighting the entity within her as they chased Honerva around the galaxy. While they waited for Lance to join them at the hangar, Allura had confided in Keith that even though the universe was at the brink of folding in on itself, she understood why Honerva would go to such desperate lengths to create a perfect reality.

“Because she’s an evil psychopath hellbent on power and revenge?” Keith had offered flippantly, but Allura shook her head as she leaned against the Blue lion’s giant metal paw.

“Because she didn't only lose her family when they were overtaken by the rift, but again when she descended into her own self-destruction. Now there is no one left to blame but herself,” Allura had explained, her voice soft and melancholy. “Even as I fight against her dark entity that drains me through our connection, I cannot help but empathize with her pain. She doesn’t just want her family back, she wants another chance.”

At the time, Keith couldn’t comprehend how Allura understood such a selfish desire, especially when she had the undivided attention of Lance by being the person he loved most. Though now, he may finally understand what she meant.

There’s another buzz of his communicator reminding him of the latest text message waiting for him. He opens their chat to see that Lance has sent him texts full of more emojis. Keith smiles sadly at the screen, knowing he isn’t doing either of them any favors by allowing himself to be distracted during the mission. Once this is over, he’ll tell Lance how he feels. Honestly this time.

**Keith** : Break time is over. Time to show my face

 **Keith** : At least the food is good

 **Lance** : wow keith

 **Lance** : kind of vain way to talk about your face dontcha think?

He blinks at his phone screen, cheeks aflame with a blush. Was Lance flirting with him?

**Keith** : You're still an idiot

 **Keith** : Tell Azure i love her — talk soon

 **Lance** : looking forward to it 💙

Keith’s heart skips a beat as the image of Lance whispering the text in his ear sends a delightful chill down his spine. The blue heart is like the same flirty grin Keith remembers seeing so many times before. Somehow, all these years later, Lance still has the uncanny ability to send butterflies spiraling in his stomach. Keith shoves his phone in his pocket before he can do any further damage, making his way back to the middle of the ballroom.

In the corner, an orchestra plays shrill music as Luxurians with brilliant, multi-colored feathers dance in the middle of the floor. Standing on a podium, a jeweled Luxurian woman sings in a language Keith’s universal translator can’t decipher. The closest thing he can compare it to is the chirp of the desert songbirds on Earth. It brings him back to the songbirds he heard along the hiking trails Lance had dragged him along during the months after Sendak’s invasion. 

He still remembers sitting on the cliff's edge side-by-side listening to the bird’s sweet melodious chorus of never-repeated notes tumbling into the crisp dessert air, flowing into the surrounding canyons like a great river of music. He vividly remembers the way Lance’s long legs would swing off the ledge, the setting sun kissing his skin. Keith was always mesmerized by how beautiful he looked in those small moments.

“Keith,” Shiro says next to him.

“Hmm?”

“Your fly is open.”

“ _What?_ ” Keith screeches, looking down at his belt only to be quickly reminded that his Blade Leader uniform doesn’t have a fly, but a zip in the back. 

Growling he turns to Shiro, punching him in the non-robotic arm as hard as he can. It doesn’t do much, and Shiro sighs in exasperation over his plate of hors d'oeuvres, gingerly picking one up with a fork before sticking it in his mouth.

“You’ve been distracted since the moment we got here. We can’t afford for you to be preoccupied,” Shiro reprimands after swallowing a mouthful of pink puff pastry. “I’m glad you were able to speak with Lance, but I need you to focus on the mission.” 

“I’m not _distracted,_ I’m just —”

“Nose deep in your phone the second you think we’re not looking,” Shiro finishes for him flatly.

“I—I know I’ve been texting but that’s ‘cause Azure and—”

“Keith,” Shiro interrupts him, dropping his empty plate on a tray as one of the Luxurian servers pass. Food has been placed on their plates all night by servers, all young Luxurians dressed in white tunics who move wordlessly between the guests, keeping their platters and glasses full. “Listen. Believe it or not, right now I’m not interested in talking about your parental guilt or your unresolved feelings for Lance or your track record of isolating yourself when you feel cornered. We have a job to do, remember?”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Keith relents, exhaling a heavy sigh. “I’m on it, no more distractions.”

Shiro nods and the rest of the time at the banquet is as miserable as he expects. Having so many people in one place has Keith feeling uneasy, especially when the host of the party is suddenly missing. They haven’t seen King Kuunia at all since they arrived, his presence obviously missing from the gaudy ballroom. Keith feels on edge, even after the first few hours pass, and everyone starts to settle down.

He fights the urge to text Lance again, not wanting to come off as clingy or lose focus on the mission. The last thing he wants is to push him away by smothering him with too many messages. If he’s going to get back into Lance’s good graces, he needs to play it cool. Keith can usually do that, he didn’t acquire his lone wolf reputation by being a social butterfly. Lance has always been different, though. Lance still has this pull over him that itches under his skin. Every second he fights the urge to text him, it becomes harder.

“Keith?” 

He breaks from his preoccupied trance and turns to see Kolivan. Judging by the way his eyes are narrowed, he’s most likely called his name more than once. Ezor and Zethrid have also wandered back to the group after spending most of the night dancing.

“Nice of you to join us,” Kolivan states, and Keith doesn't even have it in him to throw out a lame defense. He doesn’t want to bring any more attention to his lack of focus, not needing another lecture. 

Kolivan doesn’t seem to care and continues to speak in a low voice to the group. “King Kuunia has requested an audience with myself, Krolia and Shiro in his study. It appears he is hosting a private cocktail to discuss the Alliance.”

“Only us?” Shiro asks, eyebrows arched in suspicion. Kolivan nods. “This feels off.”

“I agree with Shiro, he’s separating us,” Acxa says, eyes narrowed. “He’s planning something. I can feel it.”

“Doesn’t take a genius to figure that out,” Zethrid says, taking stock of the room. “It’s pretty clear this party is just a distraction for something bigger.”

“Then we’re coming, too,” Keith says, and given his tone, it’s clear that he won’t take no for an answer. Acxa nods at his side, and Krolia sighs.

“In that case, we should make our way over before King Kuunia grows impatient. Hopefully, our drink conversation can be more productive than what we’ve been dealing with all week.”

Two of Kuunia’s guards appear to escort them to a back room, weaving through the rest of the party-goers. At the door, the guards don’t check any of them for weapons and simply motion for them to enter the private study. Once inside, they let the door close behind them, and for a moment Keith feels as if he’s stepped into a parlor room from a whodunit paperback — deep burgundy carpets are underfoot and dark wooden rafters cross overhead with trails of moonlight spilling in through the wide arching windows. And books. They were everywhere, and clearly all unread given their stiff spines. Stacked on dusty shelves that reached almost all the way up to the ceiling, circling the entire room and drawing Keith’s eyes until they were inevitably pulled to— 

“King Kuunia,” Kolvian greets, bending at the waist, his palm pressed over his chest. Across from him, Kuunia sits alone in an overstuffed armchair. “Thank you for this meeting. I hope you do not find the addition of the Blade of Marmora to be disruptive."

“Take a seat, all of you,” he orders, beady eyes steady. Apparently he's fine with the extra guests.

They fully enter the study, taking seats in the plush armchairs and sofas around the room. Kuunia rings a tiny bell and from the heavy door behind them, one of the guards emerges pushing a bar cart with a glass bottle and several golden glasses.

“Would you like a drink?” Kuunia asks as Keith eyes the glasses and marvels at how the low candlelight of the room catches their perfectly polished edges. The bottle is vaguely familiar but he can't place it.

The guard begins to pour wine into their glasses before they can decline. No one talks and the silence stretches for long enough to feel awkward until Keith recognizes the taste.

“Is this Altean wine?” Keith asks as the guard pours him a generous amount and offers it to him. Kuunia seems impressed by the acknowledgment.

“Are you a connoisseur of Altean fine wine and spirits, Captain Kogane?”

“N-no, just...very familiar with Altean alcohol,” he replies, and luckily it’s enough to appease the king.

“This is all quite generous, King Kuunia. However, it’s far more extravagant than what’s necessary for our discussions,” Kolivan assures, but Kuunia ignores him.

Keith notices Acxa rolling up her fists in the sleeves of her uniform, eyes anxious as they dart from the bar cart to the main door. He follows her gaze and sees that both guards have entered the study, and are leaning against the walls, blocking the door. His hand hovers where his blade rests on his hip.

Still in his chair, King Kuunia drains his golden goblet of wine — no toast, no cheers. He slams it back on the table, hard enough for the other glasses to shake.

“I suppose you’re wondering why you’re here,” he acknowledges, beady eyes sweeping across the room. “Well, I’ll make this quick: Dromaku plans to kill you all tonight.”

King Kuunia reaches inside his cloak. Keith tenses, but Krolia pats his wrist to calm him down and refrains from taking out her own weapon. Still, from the corner of his eye, he sees Acxa reach for her knife, the curved blade of her weapon flashing in the weak light. Krolia sends her a glare too, and she freezes. From his cloak, Kuunia pulls out a handkerchief to wipe his beak.

No one has any weapons pointed at Kuunia, but that’s barely a relief because Keith still doesn’t know what the hell is going on.

Shiro leans forward with piercing focus. “Given we’re still alive, I’m guessing that is no longer the case?”

King Kuunia shakes his head slowly. “This room is soundproof and unable to receive any communication signal. You can check your communicators if you don’t believe me. I couldn’t risk what I’m about to request being picked up by lingering members of the Fire of Purification.”

Keith checks his phone, and there’s no service.

“My request is short. I need you to take out Dromaku and his rebel spies. I need you to remove him from my court,” King Kuunia requests in a tone far too casual for such a request. “He is in the ballroom now, waiting for the perfect time to strike.”

It’s not the first time Keith’s heard of such terms being a part of the Alliance negotiations. A typical quid pro quo for doing business in a still violent universe. 

“I’m sure you’ve noticed there’s a significant threat with rebels and other Galra—mercenaries, pirates, you know—rallying around this quadrant. Luxuria joining the Alliance would give you a foothold here and the ability to clean up the mess, as it were,” King Kuunia continues, eyes landing on Keith. “Before his assassination, Sendak conquered this planet in the name of his Empire. It is no secret that I came to rule my people by non-traditional means—I was meant to be his eyes-and-ears. However, in my decaphobes in this position, I’ve found my alliances shifting away from Dromaku. I now wish to do what’s best for the Luxurian people, and given the current state of our fragile agricultural system that cannot happen fast enough.”

“How do we know you’re telling us the truth?” Shiro demands.

“Because my most senior adviser is looking to assassinate me tonight as well, and take every last one of you with me,” Kuunia admits, glancing at the door. “He saw me dismiss the former yellow paladin and his crew earlier so they'd be safe and miss the massive electromagnetic storm that's about to strike. He saw me take pity on him and perhaps has realized my allegiance no longer lies with the Fire of Purification. Luckily, one of my own spies alerted me of his plan.”

Krolia’s eyes narrow. “So he planned to trap us here?”

“His aim was to use the banquet for cover so your guards would be down,” Kuunia clarifies. “They are extremists, delusional that Sendak and Zarkon aren’t truly defeated. He rots my court from the inside out and is why I could not accept any aid or support before luring you in here first. Dromaku wields the powerful dark magic of the Druids — he’s the last of his kind. You must kill him.”

“There’s nothing stopping us from killing _you_ either,” Zethrid snarls, tilting her head toward the guards lined up against the walls. “Your guards are plenty, but most are in the ballroom and you underestimated us. They didn’t even check if we were armed before entering.” 

“And who do you think gave them that order?” King Kuunia levels his gaze at them. “If you wish to strike me down, then so be it. However, all it will do is trigger Dromaku to unleash a fury of bullets against you and any guest that stands with the Alliance in false retaliation for my death, and the blood will bleed from the palace into the evacuation shelters around the city. If he is successful in his coup, there’ll be no chance at peace.”

“Why would you go along with this if you knew it was a trap?” Ezor demands, pointing to the door outside. “Not only have you been failing your subjects but there are innocent people out there whose lives are now at risk because you couldn’t stand up to some crusty old wizard. You’re no king, you’re nothing but a scared little bird!”

Acxa looks at Ezor almost in awe. “That may be the most selfless thing I’ve ever heard you say.”

“Don’t get it twisted, I’m mostly pissed he pulled us out of the party to deal with this,” Ezor huffs, crossing her arms over her chest. “Do you know how amazing those Sral-cheese balls were? I only got to eat, like, seven of them!”

“We don’t have time for this!” Kuunia urges, shaking his head from side to side, every turn was rapid, almost too fast to see as his poorly dyed feathers flew from his head. “I assure you it was the only way for me to lure out Dromaku’s true motives. He’s the one who Sendak used to keep me in check once I was appointed, but now he blocks any aid for the Luxurians. I gain nothing from your deaths other than a war dropped on my doorstep while my planet still suffers. Luxuria can never join the Galaxy Alliance and receive the support we need from the Blade of Marmora while Dromaku remains alive. If there was an easier path to peace, I’d surely take it.”

Keith locks eyes with Kuunia, and for the first time in days, he feels a sense of hope. Wordlessly the seven of them meet each other’s gazes and come to the same conclusion. It’s Kolvian who extends his hand to the king.

“In exchange for your long term partnership, we will help liberate your court, King Kuunia,” he vows, while Shiro looks away as if to have no recollection of this ever happening. Keith knows if Iverson ever got wind that any member associated with the Alliance was taking up an old school hit mission, it’d be an intergalactic scandal.

Kuunia takes it heartily. “Thank you.”

The two guards move aside so they can exit the study, awkwardly they stand together in the hallway. Down the corridor, he can still hear the music floating from the ballroom. Its guests are none the wiser.

“We need to lure Dromaku out before the storm strikes,” Kolivan says, eyeing the window at the other end of the hallway. “How much time do we have until we can expect the electromagnetic storm?” 

“A few vargas,” King Kuunia replies, as lightning from the roiling storm clouds lights up the hallway. “Once it hits, the entire planet will be offline for quintants including the teleduvs. Nothing will be able to come in or out of our star system. The rain will continue to fall in the capital, leaving the belly of the palace the only location where you can safely stay until the storm ends and you can contact your crew. There’s an entrance via the southern tower.”

“Then that’s where you’re going,” Keith decides, turning to Shiro, his mother, and Kolivan. “You three bring Kuunia to the palace’s shelter, and we’ll smoke out Dromaku and evacuate the guests.”

“If he’s embedded himself with his rebels, it'll be impossible to identify who’s one of his men and who’s a civilian,” Krolia warns.

Keith doesn’t get a chance to reply as there’s suddenly a terrible rumble from deep within the palace. The ground beneath their feet begins to move as if it were a wave on the sea.

“It’s the electromagnetic storm!” Kuunia squawks, as his feathers puff. “It’s begun!”

“You said we had vargas!” Keith yells, already hearing the anger in his voice. This is why he hates diplomacy.

“Until the _rain_ , but the tremors always start sooner. The quakes have been what knocks out the power and our communications.”

“That’s why Dromaku pushed for the banquet to be held tonight,” Shiro realizes, turning to Keith. “If there’s no signal then we can’t call for backup.”

The lights swing violently from the ceiling. The shaking intensifies as if the entire palace suddenly fell from the sky and struck the planet’s surface with a mighty impact. Keith is flung forward, smashing face-first into a marble column, while Shiro, Krolia, and Kolvian struggle to guard Kuunia from falling debris. Down the hall, Acxa, Ezor, and Zethrid struggle to stay on their feet. 

“We have an evil wizard to kill _and_ an earthquake to deal with?” Ezor shouts, narrowly avoiding a falling portrait. Turning to look over her shoulder, she shoots a deadly glare at Kuunia. “Is this shithole planet even worth saving?”

“ _Please,_ ” Kuunia begs, his four legs trying to find stability as the ground shakes. “I may be a coward, but you cannot let the Luxurians suffer for my sins. They didn’t ask for this.”

Cracks appear in the ground beneath their boots. Fear and panic boil up like bile in Keith’s gut. They don’t have much time before the whole palace goes down. He turns around to his crew and orders, “Ezor and Zethrid, work on evacuation! We need to get everybody out!”

Zethrid gunts, another wave shaking the castle. “This place is a maze, we’ll never find a way out in time!” 

“Use the back exit from the ballroom, it’s the most direct route,” Kuunia orders, pointing. “Find the guards, they'll help you direct the guest out into the city centre. They can bring you to where the shelters are located in the town square.”

“And if we run into Dromaku?” Zethrid asks.

“Don’t worry about him, Acxa and I will take care of it,” Keith assures, even though Shiro sends him a look of reproach from where he’s braced against the wall. 

Keith understands where Shiro’s discomfort comes from, while Alliance negotiations can turn violent that is not what Keith wants the newly reformed Blade of Marmora to be utilized for — they aren’t mercenaries, they’re a humanitarian group. Right now, they aren’t faced with many other options, but Keith will do everything in his power to handle Dromaku peacefully.

Understanding their directions, Zethrid and Ezor sprint down the hallway toward the guards. Keith has just activated his mask when a burst of gunfire blasts them from the opposite direction. Kolivan shields Kuunia from the spray of bullets as they all flatten themselves against the walls of the coordinator.

“These must be Dromaku’s friends,” Acxa says through the comms in their masks. In the comms, Shiro shouts something but Keith is already on his feet, charging toward the gunfire. 

He dodges the blasts with practiced ease, kicking the guns from the rebels’ hands before slashing them both with his knife. Shiro shouts something again, and it’s enough for him to avoid a shot that would have hit him directly in the sternum.

“Go!” Keith shouts back at Shiro, and he manages to pick up the blaster to give them cover. It’s enough of a head-start for them to follow the guards through to another hallway. Kuunia directs them out of the corridor and down a set of stone stairs. With shaky hands, Keith twists and aims the blast like an amateur. He’s never been good with a gun.

But pointing and shooting are a good enough strategy to clear the way for Acxa and him to break off from the group and emerge through the twisting halls to what appears to be a drawing-room. The music from the ballroom has long gone silent, the only sounds are the rumbles of the storm and the tremor still shaking the castle. There’s not even the sound of gunshots and the relative silence deafening.

From the corner of his eye, Keith spots movement along the wall, and Acxa’s knife whizzes over his head to strike the rebel, disabling whatever cloaking his suit had equipped. He’s not alone, either. Two more soldiers still dressed in formal wear rush around the corner, guns raised before Keith rolls out of the way of their barrage of bullets, hiding behind a gaudy golden statue for cover. Across the room, he finds Acxa, still masked as she fires her blaster while trying to find cover.

Acxa skids across the smooth, marble flooring to pull her blade from her target’s throat, then charges at one rebel with a scream while Keith tries to cover her from a distance behind a sofa. He manages to get a good few shots in, giving Acxa enough time to attack before the trigger of his blaster clicks and sticks, jamming. With a groan, he tosses the busted blaster aside and barely avoids being tackled by the second rebel fighter. The goon smashes head-first into a very expensive vase. 

Scrambling to his feet, Keith sprints out of the room and down one of the many hallways in the castle in hopes of shaking off the merc. It seems to work. He quickly checks his phone and sees he has a single bar of service. 

Ducking away through an open door, he ends up in another parlor room away from Acxa. Its walls are hung with fine, grey canvas with silvery grey carpet, and furniture covered with a dark green silky material. Given it’s full of bookcases and plush seating, it must be some kind of library. Like the garden the day before, the ceiling is entirely a glass skylight, rain pinging off the surface. 

Keith’s mask deactivates as he hides behind one of the shelves. Typing quickly, he hopes there’s enough of a signal to send a text to Lance. He knows better than to send a text with too much information that can be easily intercepted by Dromaku’s men. 

**Keith** : Got away for a sec and need to talk. Call me. 

He chews at his thumbnail as the send icon spins. Every second feels like an hour until the message eventually sends. Keith waits impatiently for Lance to call him so he can trigger the trace blocker on his phone for a secure connection while he sends his location. He doesn’t have much time before he’s discovered, but all he needs is a minute to tell Lance that he’s okay and to send backup.

The message remains with the same “unread” label for another minute before Keith breaks.

“Fuck it,” he hisses, tearing at a hangnail viciously with his teeth while he dials Lance’s number. It rings twice before the call is sent to voicemail. He can't even leave a message before the signal is lost and it disconnects. “Damn it, Lance!”

Two rebels burst through the doorway as the library windows shatter around them.

The noise from the storm is many magnitudes louder than a thunderstorm on Earth. The roar is at an intensity Keith has never experienced before. He flips his hood back up to shield himself from the falling glass as rancid floodwater pours into the room. The soldiers barely avoid the books falling off the shelves and some kind of mosaic that drops off the wall behind them

Keith uses this as a distraction, scaling the shelves for height before pulling out his knife. It transforms in a bright, purple light before he leaps, slashing through both of the rebels easily. They fall back into the water as more pours in from the broken windows. He raises his blade, now dripping with blood— it’s ugly and vicious.

But they’re running out of time.

Wading through the water around the bodies, Keith kicks the wooden door outwards and the water drains from the room into the corridor. Splashing through, he sprints down the labyrinth of hallways, following the familiar sound of metal clashing against armor.

Keith makes it to the ballroom where he finds Acxa finishing off one of the last of Dromaku’s men. Pulling her blade out of her victim’s back, she turns as if to say something to Keith but there’s a crash as the windows implode around them.

“Where is Dromaku?” Keith's voice cracks as he speaks to Acxa through his earpiece. “We’re running out of time!” 

“If the palace hasn’t killed him, he’s probably already escaped. We should find the others before we’re buried alive.”

Keith's head feels fuzzy. He tries to blink the haziness from his eyes, but it stays, stubbornly. He can barely see through the dusty mist even with his mask on. His hand grazes his right side and a hot pain shoots through him. His fingers are left warm and wet. He sways on his feet and Acxa notices instantly.

“You’re hurt,” she says, stating the obvious as she rushes to his side. He tries to pull away from her, but she holds him still by his shoulders. “Shit, Keith...you’re not shot, but it looks like a shard of glass stabbed you.”

“Which would be better?”

“Neither, you idiot. You’re losing too much blood.”

She pulls a medical patch from her belt, slapping it hard against his side and Keith nearly bites his tongue off at the pain radiating up his side.

“Sorry, I know it sucks, but this is all I can do until we’re out of here,” Acxa mumbles, ensuring the patch is secure before tapping into the shared comms. “Shiro? You there?”

“Yes,” Shiro pants, clearly running. “Did you two get the target?” It sounds like a ceiling is falling in on his end, which Keith sincerely hopes isn’t the case. 

“Negative. We lost eyes on Dromaku and the castle is falling apart. Plus Keith’s injured.”

“Get out of there now!” Shiro orders, grunting. “The way to the shelter is south of the ballroom.”

“We’ll be there so— _UGH!_ ”

“Acxa? Keith? Come in!”

Their transmission is interrupted when another explosion sends more debris and shards of metal blowing over them. This time it isn’t from the storm. When the dust settles, the space where the door used to be is a jagged, gaping hole in the wall, leading out into the hallway where small fires burn. It’s blocked by three men walking towards them, two holding what look like laser guns.

There’s another quake and the lights above them burst, broken glass raining down around them, leaving them in darkness. 

Luckily, close combat in the dark is conducive to his specific skill set.

His eyes focus, bright gold in the dark, and he can feel the fangs filling out in his mouth as he snarls. Keith moves impossibly quick, ducking shots from the other soldier while swinging his sword to cut him at the knees, but the other manages to parry. He kicks Keith back until he stumbles against a table. 

"Keith!" interrupts his counterattack right before something—a staff—slams into his stomach, pain lancing through his entire body. He collapses to his hands and knees, choking for air. Another hit comes, and this time it’s a kick right to his injury. He hears crackles of electricity and Acxa’s cries, but he’s unable to focus through the pain. 

Another blow lands right to his side, the wet sound of his blood seeping into the glove of his assailant echoing in the room. Keith screams and crumples to the ground, sword falling from his hand. His blade is kicked out of reach and it retracts into its original form—a small knife with the glowing insignia.

Thick fingers grab his hair, yanking his head up. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees another rebel with their arm locked around Acxa’s neck, gun to her head. Acxa struggles weakly, still convulsing from an electrical shock. 

Beside her, a tall figure with the staff leans back and the hood of his cloak falls from his head. Even in the dark, Keith can see the thin, scarred face of the former Galra warrior — Dromaku. Keith recognizes the marks from the other Druids in Honerva’s court, signs of their quintessence poisoning from her experiments.

The one holding Acxa up keeps the gun pressed against her temple. Between them, the end of Dromaku’s staff pulses with electricity. Smoke fills the room as the palace shakes. 

“Let her go!” Keith shouts, yanking his head out of the rebel’s grip, oblivious to the pain as he thrashes in their hold. He’s weak from his injury, a fire burning in his side even with the medical patch.

The grunt holding the gun to Acxa’s head turns it on Keith and shoots. A white-hot, pain sears through Keith’s left shoulder and down his arm. He can’t even hear his own screaming. 

“Or what, you disgusting hybrid?” Dromaku sneers, sharp fangs jutting from thin lips. “You have nothing. You have lost. Soon you’ll pay for your crime of murdering supreme leader Sendak, and the Galra will rise again — _Vrepit Sa!_ ”

Everything explodes into chaos. 

A silver arm zips through the air, punching Dromaku in the face and sending him flying into the wall. The hand tilts, blasting the rebel who holds Acxa and freeing her. She twists to take his gun and shoots him twice in the back of the head before he can get up. 

She turns on Dromaku, firing a head-shot with expert precision. He goes down without a cry, staff clattering away. Behind him, Shiro scrambles to his knees as he tries to shoot the rebel who holds Keith by the hair, but his brother is met with a punch in the face.

“Shiro!” Keith gasps before he feels the grip of his captor ease.

From the corner of his eye, a crackle of blue light appears and he hears the wet chomp of Kosmo’s jaw as he rips into the rebel’s throat. The wolf drags the rebel, crawling and biting until the screams ease into a gurgling silence. Acxa runs over and shoots the goon between the eyes for good measure.

Shiro’s arm zooms back to his side, locking in place when he makes his way toward them. Acxa calls as her mask dissolves, “Thanks for the backup, Shiro.”

Everyone’s voice sounds far away, even when Keith’s own mask is removed.

“Good boy,” Keith praises Kosmo, slumping as he gives the wolf an affectionate pet. The wolf whines, nuzzling at his side. The blood that covers his nose is not from the rebel, Shiro swivels around. He crouches down next to Keith to inspect his shoulder.

“They shot you,” Shiro says grimly, glancing at Acxa. “Do you know if the bullet went through?

“It looked like a clean shot,” Acxa informs as if it’s a silver lining to this mess. Another quake rocks the floor beneath them, and the edges of Keith’s vision darken. His head rolls to the side, but Shiro slaps his face.

“You need to stay with me, okay?” Shiro instructs him, propping him up a little higher. Keith hums in acknowledgment and starts to slump in Shiro’s arms again. Acxa frets above them but he can't make out much other than Acxa’s saying words like _blood_ , _shot_ , and _dying_. 

Wait, dying?

No. No, he cannot die here. He can’t do that to Azure. He wills himself to stay awake, fearing he wouldn’t wake back up if his eyes close.

“You’re _not_ dying,” Shiro growls, and Keith realizes he must’ve said that out loud. He’s practically vibrating with pain, or that could be Shiro’s hold. Is he crying? 

“Shiro,” Keith whines, unable to say much else. He feels like he’s a pre-teen at the Garrison all over again needing his brother’s help. Shiro looks panicked, teeth clenched as he puts more pressure on his side.

“This is shitty payback for all the times I almost died on you,” Shiro’s voice breaks at the end like he’s swallowing back fear. Watching him fall apart is strange and unsettling. 

In the back of his mind, Keith’s thoughts land on his dad. Did he think of Keith when he was trapped in that burning building like how Keith is thinking of Azure as he bleeds out on this tacky, palace floor on some backwater planet?

“Keith, eyes open!” Shiro orders him. He didn’t even realize his eyes were close. Another sharp pain shoots through his body when another medical patch is slapped on his shoulder. Shiro turns to Acxa. “We need to get him to the shelter, there are medical supplies there.”

Shiro taps into his earpiece. “Kuunia, we’re heading back—”

“Can you confirm the targets have been eliminated?” King Kuunia interrupts, his voice a static shrill over the comms.

“Confirmed,” Acxa says and the planet lurches again. “But Keith’s injured. It’s critical.”

“Get to the shelter beneath the castle!” Krolia commands, and Keith can hear the panic underscoring her voice. It makes him feel guilty.

Shiro maneuvers Keith into his arms, carrying him as they sprint through the wreckage.

“Where’s Ezor and Zethrid?” Shiro barks at Acxa.

“I don’t know, my comms are already jammed so I can’t reach them!”

Shit, Keith needs to call Lance.

Shiro holds him tightly as they dive under a table to avoid broken glass raining down from the stained glass windows in the ceiling. Acxa follows them, curling under the table as another shake rocks the palace. 

With a pale, shaky hand, Keith pulls his phone from his pocket and taps Lance’s contact. Pressing his phone to his ear, he somehow manages to catch a signal, and the phone rings. After a tick, the automated voice comes through the receiver,

_“The person you are trying to reach is unavailable right now. Please leave a message after the beep.”_

“Lance!” he stutters, clinging to Shiro’s arm for purchase. “I don’t know if this will reach you but Luxuria is —”

He’s cut off by another automated message. _“Sorry, the message cannot be saved—”_

The line goes dead, the electromagnetic storm already clouding the signal.

 _“_ Keith! _”_ Shiro yells looking at him shocked. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Need to call Lance…for Azure…” Keith slurs, fighting against his own mouth to speak. Shiro doesn’t even have time to scold him as another crackle of blue light appears between them and Acxa as Kosmo reappears. 

Fearful the palace might come crashing down on them before they make it to safety, Shiro calls to Acxa over the roar of the rains blowing in through the broken windows. “Hang on!”

Catching Acxa’s eye, the three of them hold onto Kosmo as the wolf teleports them out of the crumbling corridor to the wet grass in front of a shelter hatch behind the castle. Rain pours down as Shiro screams for the guards to come to help him with Keith as Acxa sprints for medical supplies.

Thunder roars above them and Kosmo whines, not leaving Keith’s side.

“Hey,” Keith says softly to Kosmo, not wanting Shiro’s attention, too. He reaches out, dropping a shaky hand to Kosmo’s fluffy mane. Kosmo's eyes are locked on Keith's face like he already senses what Keith's about to ask. “I need you to go to Azure and Lance, okay?”

In his arms, Kosmo whimpers, small pathetic whines of protest. He paws the front of Keith’s uniform gently, not wanting to be separated while Keith’s hurt during the storm. 

“Keep them safe until I’m back,” Keith whispers, letting the massive animal drape itself across his chest. “I promise I’ll be fine.”

Kosmo pulls back enough to lick Keith’s face once before hopping off to disappear with another crackle.

“Acxa! Come on!” Shiro yells, sounding like he’s standing at the other end of a very long tunnel. He feels himself jolt and several hands on him as his uniform is ripped open. A sharp line of pain burns at his side as they work to stop the bleeding but he refuses to let himself slip away.

He’ll claw his way back from whatever he has to because he refuses to leave his daughter, and he’s too stubborn to leave things left unsaid with the love of his life.

Even as his vision darkens when Shiro (and maybe Kolivan) carry him into the shelter, Keith refuses to give up and mentally repeats, _I’m not going to die. I’m not going to die. I’m not going to die._

He doesn’t even feel it when he’s roughly placed the operating table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's been A LOT of awesome fan art for HOMC that I've been collecting over at my twitter [and you find them here!](https://twitter.com/i/events/1272209204317749248)
> 
> Just like last time, you can leave comments yelling at me for hurting your feelings. We're heading into the final act, so get pumped.
> 
> Next chapter - Azure learns Spanish!
> 
> Thank you, everyone!


	10. Hearts Drawn In The Sand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Call it a sixth sense or a remnant quintessence connection from piloting Voltron, but Lance knows what he feels is real. It’s the connection not just between him and his friends, but between him and Keith. Together they are Voltron's wings. There isn’t anyone more connected to his soul than Keith. He’s weaved around Lance’s heart like embroidery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. How mean was that of me to leave you with that cliffhanger for two weeks, huh? I'm a jerk.
> 
> Special thanks to Purple_Softspot for help with the Spanish parts! And to the best beta in the universe, VioletFoxTales for always pulling out even more angst.

Lance wakes up from the buzzing of his phone alarm, eyes wide staring at the ceiling of his apartment. He's lying on the floor still holding Azure's tiny hand as she sleeps soundly on the couch above him. The light of the television casts a blue hue in the living room, the show long since over. 

The alarms stop whirring when he mindlessly reaches out to tap the screen, and Lance's thoughts are left in still silence for the first time since he’s gotten clean. It’s the silence he chased when getting high or drunk.

Slowly, Lance sits up and reaches over to turn off the television. Glancing across the room, he sees Kosmo's yellow eyes staring at him. It should freak him out more than it does, but in reality, it just irritates him. 

"What are you doing here?" Lance asks softly and even waits for the unlikely event the wolf will answer. Of course he can't, Kosmo is a freaking wolf. Only Keith is dumb enough to think Kosmo is capable of verbal communication.

He glances at Azure, guilt seeping into his heart. Somehow she managed to push him past his breaking point last night, and he has no one to blame but himself. He’s ashamed and embarrassed that a box of old pictures led to his breakdown. Still, as disappointed in himself as Lance is, he's annoyed with Keith for leaving him hanging during his time of crisis. Lance hadn’t even waited _that_ long to call him back.

Lance picks up his phone and one look at his notifications proves that Keith still hasn’t called him back. His annoyance shifts to anger. Is Keith seriously giving him the cold shoulder? Even after their heart-to-heart? 

Leave it to Keith to see the tiniest instance of inconvenience as an excuse to throw his walls back up. It’s such dickish behavior, but so typical. To be surprised by Keith’s emotional unavailability would be like being surprised by the tide pulling away from the shore.

He’s pissed enough to bury his shame underneath his righteous anger. He’ll show Keith, he won’t bug him for the rest of the week. Wouldn’t want to badger the busy Captain of the Marmorites.

There's a knock on the door, and Lance squints at the clock on his phone. It's a quarter past six—too early for him to be late for anything. Another knock follows, this time more urgent. When he stands up, Lance’s back pops as he stretches. He's getting too old to sleep on the floor. Lance turns to Kosmo.

"If you're not gonna answer me, then keep an eye on her," he orders, and the wolf sits up and in a few graceful trots, climbs up on the other side of the sofa. Kosmo rests his head by Azure's feet, eyes still trained on the door. 

There's a third knock and Lance grunts, slipping on his sneakers. "Relax, I'm coming!"

When he opens the door, he's not expecting to see Veronica and Curtis standing there in full Garrison uniform. He takes one look at his sister's face and knows something awful has happened. 

Quietly, he closes the door behind him motioning for them to stand with him on the front steps.

"What’s going on?" Lance demands, wanting to cut to the chase and rip the band-aid off. Veronica worries her lip and Curtis lets out a long exhale.

"It's Tak," Curtis finally says, exhaustion evident across his features. It's clear he's been up all night and is too tired to even notice he's used the affectionate nickname he has for Shiro. "Last night, there was an incident on Luxuria. During the banquet being held for the Alliance, an armed rebel insurgence group stormed the castle."

"Okay, and Shiro is the former Black Paladin of Voltron and the Captain of the ATLAS," Lance insists, crossing his arms across his chest and over the t-shirt that's way too thin for the morning chill. "I've seen that guy punch Sendak off a Galra cruiser. A few rebels at a party are nothing."

Veronica shakes her head. "They were attacked during another electromagnetic storm, and there was an intense seismic event so the Alliance lost all communication from the planet. The Blade of Marmora had a ship in the orbit too, but —"

"But what?" Lance demands, panic bubbling up from his gut. 

"Only Ezor and Zethrid were on the ship," she finishes, biting her lip and looking ready to cry. He's never seen his sister like this before. "They had evacuated the castle before the attack and were able to steer the ship away from the electromagnetic storm. According to them, the others stayed back to protect King Kuunia. There’s been no contact since. Acxa and Keith are unaccounted for along with Shiro, Krolia, Kolivan, Hunk, and Shay. They’re all missing in action."

The news hits Lance like a brick to the back of the head. Three former paladins of Voltron are _gone,_ just like that.

Lance knows for a fact the Alliance sent Shiro specifically to carry out a diplomatic meeting with Luxuria. If there was any risk of hostels on the planet, Iverson would never have sent him without backup. During their call, Keith had made the banquet sound like a typical diplomatic mission, consisting of dinner and arguing over funding for supplies. The most dangerous thing being a headache and exhaustion.

Wordlessly, he stares at Curtis for some sort of indication that this is a joke. That it isn't as bad as it sounds. Curtis doesn't budge.

"That's three paladins, two Blade leaders, a former assassin and Shay," Lance urges, trying to clarify the situation for himself. "Those aren't people who just go _missing._ They fight back."

"You're right, they did." Curtis pulls out his holopad. Veronica takes a step back when he spins the holopad around to show Lance his screen. 

It plays a fuzzy security camera video of what looks like a castle under siege with a timestamp in the corner added by the Garrison. Gunshots ring out followed by screaming. From the camera's angle, he sees at least two guests shot at point-blank range and it makes Lance jump. 

"The rebels are from the Fires of Purification, Sendak's sympathizers,” Curtis continues. “They were working with the Luxurian King’s senior advisor, Dromaku, to carry out an assassination plot against the Galaxy Alliance."

The video cuts off before changing to a view of a gaudy ballroom. The walls appear to shake as smoke fills the room. Through the smoke, Lance recognizes Keith and Acxa even though both of their faces are hidden behind their Blade of Marmora masks. In the video, Keith and Acxa are overpowered by the attackers. Acxa is held by a soldier while being electrocuted by a tall, cloaked man who must be Dromaku. Another soldier has Keith on the ground and yanks Keith’s head up by his hair before he’s shot. The video ends and sends dread into the pit of Lance’s stomach.

Curtis is still talking, but Lance can’t hear him over the sound of his own breathing and the pounding of his heartbeat. The echoes of the gunshot that struck Keith rattle his mind, pulling memories from the depths of his psyche. 

In Lance’s darkest nightmares, the ones he doesn’t even tell his therapist about, he dreams of fire and crumbling buildings and dead bodies. Their faces change, sometimes they’re the Olkarion they couldn’t save or flashes of families from the realities Honerva destroyed. Allura is always there at the forefront. The worst are the ones with only her, and in her lap she cradles a bloodied Keith. It leaves him in sleep paralysis, unable to move but screaming until the tears break free and run down his face. 

Now his worst nightmare has sunk its claws into his reality and is tearing it to pieces in front of him. How could this be possible? Keith, who’s survived drops from cliffs and the destruction of reality itself, cannot be something as mundane and static as dead. Allura didn’t mend reality for his life to be cut short by a faceless rebel on a no-name planet.

“Lance? _Lance!_ ” Veronica shouts for his attention and he turns back to her with a jolt. She's steely-eyed and dead-serious, no trace of her normal smile and humor. “Did you hear what we just said?”

“No,” he replies mindlessly, pulling out his phone from his pocket. His contact log opens on the screen and he scrolls through seeing all the times Keith had called and texted him the night before.

Curtis closes the tablet. "In the limited window between the attack and the electromagnetic storm, the Alliance ship was able to scan the castle and found no signs of life inside." 

“Lance,” Veronica says, squeezing her eyes closed before taking a deep breath. "The only reason Iverson won't call it _presumed dead_ is that there was interference in the reading due to the lingering electromagnetic effects from the storm.”

Lance shakes his head, his phone trembling in his hand. "This can't be possible, Keith called me last night. He couldn't call me if he was…" Lance can't even finish the sentence, his stomach’s tying itself into knots.

"May I see your phone log?" Curtis asks. Lance hastily hands him his phone, the call log already open. When Curtis scrolls through, Lance sees the way his chest falls in disappointment. "Looking at the timestamp, these calls were made before the attack in the video. What happened when you called Keith back?"

"It went to voicemail, but the message didn’t save," Lance replies, voice trailing off. "Wouldn't they have destroyed his phone if he was captured?"

"Not if they didn't care if we found him," Curtis offers, before shaking his head. "This is all the information we have, Lance. But the reason we're here isn't just about Tak. I understand you're currently watching Keith's daughter?"

Lance's heart plunges right past his stomach and splats somewhere near the soles of his feet.

Azure.

How the hell is he supposed to tell her that Keith is...

" _Our_ daughter," Lance corrects, unable to finish the thought. Curtis gives him a baffled look and opens his mouth to question him, but Lance cuts him off. “Look, I’m Azure’s other parent. If you don’t believe me, check her birth certificate for proof. It’s in her medical records.” 

Curtis and Veronica exchange a shocked look. It probably sounds insane to them as humans, but Lance doesn’t have the mental capacity at the moment to explain the intricacies of Galra procreation. He barely understands it himself.

“Just...I’m her father, okay? She’s safe with me,” he says with finality. He stares at Curtis, who gives a single shaky nod in understanding. Lance turns to his sister. “Yeah, heads up — Galra fertility? It’s _way_ different.”

“I know that, Lance!” Veronica hisses. She doesn’t even try to muster a smile. Instead, she shakes her head, rubbing the bridge of her nose. “Acxa and I had—”

Her voice breaks before she can finish her sentence. Grief flits across Veronica’s face, and she opens her mouth to continue speaking before giving a tiny, aborted shake of her head and closing her eyes as if to gather herself.

“Papá always said you’d be the one to bring home kids out of wedlock,” she mumbles, bitterly.

Curtis turns back to Lance and really studies him, gaze burning right down to his bones. He’s a soldier whose armor is broken, trying to do his duty while keeping his emotions at bay. If he has any fight left in him to debate the issue, he’s too tired, too shattered to summon it. "In that case, I can inform the Alliance that Azure is with a parent." 

Lance’s brows furrow. "What would've happened to her if she wasn't?"

"Asides from Krolia, Keith had listed Tak as Azure’s emergency guardian in the event something happened to him,” Curtis explains. “But, with all of them missing if she didn't have any next of kin then the Alliance would've enrolled her in temporary foster care."

Lance’s blood goes cold. He remembers the stories Keith had told him about being bounced around foster families after his father died. The creeping tendrils of guilt and shock grip him at the thought Azure could have suffered the same fate, and he feels slightly sick.

Steeling himself, Lance swallows down his queasiness. There’s no way Keith would leave their daughter alone like that. Keith is the most stubborn man Lance has met in his entire life, not even death itself would keep him from Azure. He wouldn’t _allow_ himself to be killed. 

Besides, he knows what it feels like when a paladin dies. When Allura left them to heal the broken universe, Lance remembers the feeling of their connection breaking. It was as if one of the six lines tethering them to Voltron had been severed. He hadn’t felt that when Shiro went missing or when Keith had first been unaccounted for on the Space Whale with Krolia, and he doesn’t feel it now.

"I know you two are going to think I'm nuts, but Hunk, Keith, and Shiro aren’t gone,” Lance assures, placing a hand over his heart. “I can still feel them.”

"Lancey," Veronica sighs, staring sadly at him. "Please don't do that."

“You don’t understand—it’s a Voltron thing. We have a paladin bond.” Lance knows he sounds pleading, desperate. “If you told Pidge what happened, I bet you she'd say the same thing!"

“Pidge already knows and has been up all night trying to validate the video showing the attack,” Curtis explains, his tone too even and calm to be believable. 

"That doesn’t mean she believes it!" Lance argues. Curtis sighs and gives him a sympathetic smile 

Lance understands where Curtis and Veronica are coming from, they’re each worried about the people they love. But Lance can’t give in that quickly. There’s a part of him, a stubborn part, that won’t give up. Not on his friends, and especially not on Keith.

Before he knows it, Curtis is leaning forward and they’re hugging. His face is stuffed in the crook of his neck, and Curtis’ arms are tight around him, warm and reassuring. Behind him, he feels Veronica’s arms wrap around his waist. He refuses to break, though. Lance doesn’t fight them off, simply gives a resigned sigh, and lets himself be suffocated with love. 

"I'm not leaving your side today, baby bro," Veronica says from between his shoulder blades. Lance groans, suddenly feeling way younger. Veronica always manages to get under his skin in the way only older siblings can manage.

"I don't need a chaperone.”

"You don't, but _I_ don't want to be alone right now," she confesses, pulling back from the embrace with a small smile. "Plus I wanna meet the niece I didn’t know about."

Lance turns back to Curtis. “I can’t give up on them. I just can’t. Hunk and Shiro are my best friends and Keith’s...”

“I know,” Curtis says, saving Lance from floundering. “And you’re right, we shouldn’t. It wouldn’t be the first time Tak got himself into trouble, and I owe him not to give up on him.”

Veronica glances away from Curtis, arms crossed tightly across her chest again. It seems she isn’t as hopeful as they are.

“We’re all trying to figure out what happened, so we can help them if we can. Okay?” Curtis pats Lance on the back with a strong hand. “I'll keep you posted if the status changes.”

He turns to walk up the pathway, leaving Lance and Veronica in front of Lance’s apartment. Lance lets out a long sigh, patting his pockets for a pack of gum to no avail. There must be another pack inside. Veronica doesn’t say anything when Lance opens the door slowly, and the soft sounds of childish giggling greet them from the living room.

Azure is sitting up on the sofa, her hair a moppy mess, hugging Kosmo as the giant wolf slobbers all over her. 

“What’re you doing here, you silly wolf?” she asks Kosmo, grinning as he licks her face. She notices Lance in the entryway. “Papa, look! Kosmo’s here!”

“He came last night while you were sleeping,” he says, trying to keep his voice light. He can’t let her know something is wrong. He needs to be strong not just for himself, but for Keith. Until he comes back, he’s all their daughter has and he owes it to her to bottle his own anxieties. “Azure, we have a visitor.”

Azure looks up from the blue fluff of fur when Veronica enters the living room. Lance darts toward the kitchenette to pull a pack of gum from the drawer, unwrapping the plastic as he watches his sister approach the sofa. She crouches down so she’s eye-level with Azure. 

“Hi, my name is Veronica. I’m your _Tía_ — your auntie,” she explains in a friendly tone before pointing to Lance where he’s standing by the counter. “Your Papa is my little brother. It’s nice to meet you, Azure.”

Lance can hear the way Veronica is trying to hide her grief in her cheery tone, burying her own emotions about Acxa’s whereabouts. Her features settle into a mask somewhere between friendly and calm.

Azure nods and sees the hand that Veronica extends towards her and gasps. Grabbing it tightly, she looks up at the woman. “You’re like me?”

It takes Lance a moment to realize she means Veronica’s skin color, and another wave of guilt hits him. 

Even though it’s never come up before, it seems that Azure didn’t see herself in many of the people around the Blade of Marmora ship. That’s expected considering most of Keith’s crew are from Daibazaal, but that doesn't mean it doesn’t hurt. Azure definitely knows more Galran than Spanish. 

Then Azure looks between Veronica and Lance, a little confused. “What’s _Tía?_ ”

“It means aunt in Spanish,” Lance explains, pointing to himself and Veronica. “We grew up in Cuba and that’s the language we spoke.”

Azure’s nose scrunches and she points to herself. “Am I from Cuba?”

“Uh,” Lance rubs the back of his neck, looking to Veronica for assistance. She doesn’t catch his gaze. “Well, I’m Cuban so you’re part Cuban, too.”

“Like how Daddy’s only part Galra?”

“I guess it’s kinda like that, yeah,” Lance says, figuring it’s the closest he’s going to get to explaining his daughter’s very bizarre genealogy. This seems to appease Azure as she goes back to holding Veronica’s hand, transfixed at finding her match. 

He makes his way over to where Azure’s still sitting on the couch. Picking up his pillow and blanket from the floor, he tosses them on top of the empty cushion before leaning against the edge to feel her forehead with the back of his hand. “Your fever broke and you sound better. How are you feeling?”

“Better.” She grins, letting go of Veronica’s hand to lean up against the arm of the sofa and look up at him. “Can I go outside and play with Kosmo?”

Lance is about to say no purely on principle, especially given the way she acted out the night before. Then considers the fresh air may be good for her and can keep her preoccupied while Lance and Veronica try to figure out what happened to the others on Luxuria. If she stays in the front area, he can watch her from the stoop.

“Get dressed first and we’ll see how you’re doing,” Lance says, and before he can finish the sentence, Azure is scurrying off the couch and running towards the bedroom, Kosmo on her heels. “Don’t slam the door!”

The door slams loudly and Lance groans, rubbing the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. At least now if the door gets stuck, he has the screwdriver Shiro left behind. Across from him, Veronica looks on in amazement. 

“Wow, you really are a _dad_. You sound just like Luis,” she says, eyes wide with shock, then they narrow into something confused and thoughtful. “She’s never been on Earth before has she?”

“Nope.” Lance snaps his strawberry gum between his teeth. He makes his way back to the kitchenette to pull out ingredients for a simple breakfast. “This is her first week on Earth, then I’m bringing her back to Keith. We still haven’t figured out custody yet.”

“Lance,” Veronica pleads. Emotions flicker across her face, and finally, she looks at Lance, a trace of vulnerability in her gaze. “You need to be prepared for the possibility that Keith...may not be coming back.”

“He _is_ ,” he snaps, attention flying to the hallway then back to his sister. “And if you say that kind of shit in front of her, I swear to god I’ll kick you out of here.” 

Veronica’s eyes flash with fury as she storms around the counter. Lance is two heads taller than her, but that doesn't make his sister any less intimidating. 

“Don’t be an asshole about this, Lance,” she hisses, eyes welling up with angry tears as she pokes him hard in the chest. “That little girl needs you to be honest about what’s happening. You saw the video. Do you think I’d be here trying to hold my shit together if I didn’t think there was a chance Acxa was still alive? You don’t think I’d be on the next shuttle to Luxuria fighting through any rebel asshole to get her back?”

Reaching a hand to his chest, he feels his heart beat. The ties that bind him and the other former paladins are unexplainable to other people. He barely believed it when Allura first broke it down for them. 

Call it a sixth sense or a remnant quintessence connection from piloting Voltron, but Lance _knows_ what he feels is real. It’s the connection not just between him and his friends, but between him and _Keith_. Together they are Voltron's wings. There isn’t anyone more connected to his soul than Keith. He’s weaved around Lance’s heart like embroidery

Lance closes his eyes, taking a deep breath in through his nose and then out through his mouth. Just like Shiro taught him. It helps keep him centered and grounded in this moment that he feels shifting through his fingers like sand. 

If this was a year ago, Lance would’ve gone off the deep end, maybe retaliated against his sister. He’s never struck a woman who wasn’t actively trying to kill him, but at his darkest, Lance was capable of a lot of cruelty. He would’ve assumed the worst and drank himself into a hole or taken his self-hatred out on himself by shoving a needle under his skin.

There’s a sinking feeling as his heart plummets down to his stomach, it burns his insides like acid. The temptation to lash out, to become cold and distant, callous in the lengths he’d go to protect himself. Aside from dope and alcohol, doubt has been his other drug of choice. The gateway drug that opened the door to all the rest of his demons.

But this time, he has hope. It’s a leap of faith, and he’s jumping in with both feet. Lance is sober now, and it’s easier for him to hold onto his faith. He cannot lose hope, and that’s what he can offer not only Azure but also Veronica.

Lance wraps Veronica in his arms, pulling her into his chest tightly. She collapses into his embrace, clawing his t-shirt in her fists as she breaks into a snotty mess of tears. 

“This was supposed to be _it._ The last mission," she sobs incoherently. “She was supposed to come back.”

“I know,” Lance says.

“She promised me we’d settle down.”

“I’m sorry, Vero. I’m _so_ sorry if this seems like useless hope, but I need you to trust me.” Lance pulls back, holding Veronica by the shoulders. “They’re alive.”

Veronica sniffles, and nods. He can tell she’s still humoring him, but if he can offer any kind of solace, that’s good enough for him. He pulls her back in for another hug.

“You should bring Azure to Mima’s. She can meet her family,” Veronica says once she’s collected herself. Her voice is hoarse and congested from the crying. “I’m heading out there later today. I already told Iverson I'm taking my personal days, and he didn’t question it. You’re still on break too, yeah?”

“I am, but I don’t want to sit around doing nothing while everyone else is working,” he argues back, leaning across the counter and ripping free a paper towel to offer Veronica. “I don’t want to be useless.”

“Things are going to get intense until they figure out what’s going on with Luxuria. I can already tell Azure's a smart kid. If you stay here, she’s going to pick up on it,” she explains, dabbing her face and blowing her nose. “You know Nadia and Sylvio will adore their new baby cousin.”

He thinks about his mother’s home cooking, about Varadero Beach, about tomato plants and red soil, and the feel of the sun warming his back. It’s been months since he last visited the farm where his family now lives full-time. 

At first, after the war, the farm had felt like a place of healing, where he could live a quiet life surrounded by things he loved. He planted Allura’s juniberry flowers and managed their stand at the farmer’s market. 

But it was also the place where he had fallen into the depths of his addiction. A long string of nights spent drunk in bars draped in intimate shadows, shooting up in the yawning darkness of alleys lit by the glowing cherries of blunts and his cell phone screen full of messages from a worried Rachel. 

Lance sighs, crossing his arms over his chest. In the past year, Lance has avoided the bar scene along with Varadero — because as the old saying goes, if you sit in a barbershop long enough, you’re bound to get a haircut. He also doesn’t want to be alone, knowing full well isolation always leads to disaster. The truth is Veronica is right, his parents’ farm is probably the best place to protect Azure and himself. 

He glances down at Veronica, meeting her eyes. “Promise you’ll come with me?”

“Of course, Lancey.” She smiles, reaching up to pat his cheek affectionately. “I’ll be your rock if you’ll be mine.” 

“Okay,” Lance agrees with a loud exhale, nodding his head with a determination that seems to be quickly fading. As he reaches to pull his phone from his pocket, Azure rushes back into the living room, fully dressed in a blue romper jumpsuit that she’s managed to put on correctly, unlike some of her previous attempts. She's holding a brush and handful of hair ties.

“Papa, can you do my hair pretty?” she asks before noticing Veronica’s teary face. “Why are you crying, _Tía?_ ”

Veronica shakes her head, wiping the stray tears from her face. “Your Papa made me cry because he was being a bad little brother.”

Lance shoots his sister a look. 

“Papa!” Azure gasps, outraged by the behavior. She wags her tiny finger at him in disapproval. “Don’t be bad or you’re gonna go to jail!”

“Yeah, go to jail, Lance!” Veronica snorts and Lance can’t even defend himself without explaining what their fight was about. His sister pushes herself away from the counter and makes her way to where Azure is standing. “Let’s have a girls-only party on the couch. I can do your hair _way_ prettier than your Papa can.”

Azure seems very excited by this prospect, taking Veronica’s hand and curling up next to her on the sofa. Kosmo lays down next to her because apparently boy wolves are fine for a girls-only party. 

After it’s confirmed that Azure has recovered from her atmosphere sickness, Lance calls his mother and explains the situation as best he can. His parents have always taken the unconventional aspects of his life in stride — from piloting giant robots to bringing an alien princess home for dinner — so he’s not surprised when they don’t react poorly to him having a child with Keith, but rather more that it was out of wedlock. 

They may be open-minded, but they’re _still_ Catholic. Regardless, his mother is more than happy to see him and Veronica for a visit.

“ _Mijo_ ,” she sighs into the receiver. “Why do you even bother asking? You know you’re always welcome home.”

“Thank you, Mama.”

“Even though you’ve kept my grandchild from me for _years_ ,” his mother huffs as if he’s done this purposely just to wound her. Lance groans into the phone, as his mother continues. “At least Luis told me when he and Lisa were expecting. What am I going to do with you?”

It’s Veronica’s idea to take the train from the Galaxy Garrison to the outskirts of the town where their family’s farm is located. It’s one of the few ground-based teleduv transports, allowing train cars to travel across rocky terrain, oceans, and even mountains. The tech has been pioneered by the Holts and is still slowly being introduced nationally, but it means they can get to Cuba in less than an hour. The other bonus is they can avoid the middle of the campus where Iverson’s team is on 24-hour surveillance of the Luxuria situation. 

Once they’ve boarded the train, Azure’s excitement is palpable. More than once he feels her grab onto his hand tightly, eyes wide with wonder as they pass humans and all different types of aliens as the three of them go to their assigned seats. 

When they finally find their row and sit, Azure clamors over toward the window standing on the seat to get a better view. The curls at the end of her braided ponytail bounce as her head turns back and forth like she’s watching a tennis match. Veronica drops Azure’s bags on the empty seat next to her before reaching over and tapping her leg.

“Gotta sit on the train, kiddo,” she informs, and Azure nods, flopping on her bottom. Then she finds a seatbelt and holds both sides curiously. Lance is so lost in thought that he doesn’t realize she needs help until he hears Veronica reassure her. “Don’t worry, I got you.”

Lance watches distantly as Veronica leans over to strap Azure into the seat, tightening the belt until she’s secure. When Veronica leans back in her seat, she glares at Lance.

“ _Presta atención_ ,” she scolds in a whisper, kicking him lightly in the shin. He leans back, letting it roll off him like water.

Before leaving for the station, against his better judgment, he called Keith’s number and was met with the same few rings before going to voicemail. Hunk and Shiro’s phones didn’t even ring. It’s not as if he assumed three missing people would suddenly answer their phones just because he called, but it's allowed the doubt to creep in. Maybe Curtis and Veronica were right.

Not wanting to give in to doubt, he had called Pidge. She answered on the second ring, most likely expecting his call. When he asked her about the paladin bond, she sighed into the receiver.

“You feel it too, don’t you?” he urged, slightly desperate for any validation of his feelings. “We would know if the three of them were…”

“I do feel it, but that video was convincing.” Her voice sounded so small on the phone like she was trying to hide. “I can’t tell if it’s real, or if I’m just in denial.”

“It’s not denial. I refuse to believe this is denial.”

“That’s literally what denial is, Lance,” Pidge groaned. “We’ve seen enough batshit crazy things before, and it’s too suspicious that three paladins of Voltron could be taken out by some bargain bin backwater goons. It doesn’t add up.”

“Thank you! I knew you’d agree with me.”

“ _But_ this could be an Occam’s razor situation, where the most obvious answer is the correct one. Based on that footage the most obvious answer would be— ”

“Pidge,” Lance interrupted in an angry hiss. “Don’t even say it.”

“We just need to be prepared for the possibility, even if we don’t want it to be true.”

Lance’s anxieties were starting to get the better of him. He was defensive and irritable. “Really? Because you don’t seem that upset if it is, Pidge!”

Instantly, he knew he’d taken it too far, but he was too hurt to take it back. Maybe he wanted Pidge to hurt a little too.

“Oh, fuck you!” Pidge yelled, the volume spiking on his phone. “I hate it when you get like this.”

Lance knew he shouldn’t push her, but he couldn’t help it. He was hurting and it felt good to take the swipe, like scratching an inch. “You mean caring about our friends? Sorry, they’re not robots you can just rebuild if they get dented.”

“You’re such an asshole when you want to be!” Pidge shouted at him, her voice sharp and broken. Most likely from crying. “Call me back when you’re ready to stop being a dick!”

The anger bubbled up to the surface, and it was an easier emotion for him to deal with than the panicked fear he was avoiding.

“Fuck you too, then!” he snarled, but all he heard in response was static. Pidge had already hung up.

Now, his phone sits in his jacket pocket like a lead weight. Lance leans his face in his hand pushing his sunglasses up onto his forehead. Closing his eyes, he tries to picture the connection to his friends in his mind. Hunk’s infectious laughter, Shiro’s knowing glance, Keith’s....everything.

His eyes burn at the thought, already overwhelmed just thinking about Keith. It makes his chest clench tight like it’s choking his own heart out.

The missed call in his phone log is a cruel reminder of his failure. If he had answered, maybe Keith would’ve left the party to take the call outside. Shiro, Hunk, and the other’s would’ve followed. They wouldn’t have been there. They would’ve been safe.

Lance should have answered the call.

He notices the phrasing of his thoughts and doesn’t even care to correct them. He wants to feel bad as if it’s a penance. The train starts inching forward at an excruciatingly slow pace. Azure gasps, holding Blue in her arms as she presses up against the window. The train rocks back and forth, picking up speed as it pulls away from the Garrison grounds. 

Once they’ve been moving for a few minutes, Kosmo appears between their seats in a crackle of light. Azure smiles, reaching out for the wolf to lick off the sticky remnants of the melon she’s been snacking on. Veronica looks concerned that there’s now a large wolf sitting with them, but Lance still can’t be bothered.

They lurch forward through the teleduv, the destination sign blinking _Havana_.

* * *

It doesn’t take long for Lance and Veronica to spot Luis’ pickup truck in the train station parking lot. Although, they’re probably more conspicuous given they’re two adults, a child and a cosmic space wolf standing in the middle of the spaceport. When they walk out towards the parking lot, Lance is met with the thick, wet heat of Cuba.

Both of Azure’s bags are slung over his shoulder. It's hot already, the sun burning bright high in the sky, reflecting off the lens of Lance’s aviators. Lance feels Azure grab onto his hand tightly and glances down. In her other arm, she has Blue in a chokehold. Captain Taki is packed securely in her backpack.

“What’s up?” he asks, and instead of replying Azure turns away, staring down at her feet as they walk. 

Veronica waves Luis over when the truck pulls up to the curb. His brother rolls down the window revealing Nadia and Sylvio.

“ _Tío_ Lance!” they cheer, kicking open the truck's door to charge towards where they’re standing. 

Lance braces himself for the hugs. Sylvio has all the bony mass of an eleven-year-old boy, and while his sister is only nine-years-old, she still packs a punch when she throws herself into the hug. Lance staggers back, having to let go of Azure’s hand to keep from falling down.

“Woah, you guys get bigger every time I see you,” Lance says, ruffling Sylvio’s hair and pinching Nadia’s cheeks. Beside him, Veronica huffs.

“How come you two never greet me like that?” she demands, and quickly the children switch their attention to her and hug her tightly.

“Because we see you all the time, _Tía_ _!_ ” Nadia giggles, before she notices Azure standing between Lance and Veronica. Her brother is too distracted by the cosmic space wolf to notice. She turns back to Veronica, pointing to Azure. “Who’s the baby?”

Azure pouts, her face scrunching. “I’m not a baby!”

Nadia blinks, glancing down at the toddler. “You’re little like a baby.”

“You’re mean!” Azure snaps, holding Blue tighter and turning her head away in a huff. Lance groans, placing a hand on her head.

“This is my daughter, Azure. She’s your cousin,” he explains. The word cousin is enough to rip Sylvio’s attention away from Kosmo to study Azure.

“Ah! _Abuela_ said you were bringing a guest,” he says, grinning. “I didn’t know it was your baby.”

“I’m _not_ a baby!” Azure argues, voice raising as she stomps her foot.

“Nah, you’re little, so you’re the baby,” he says with finality, before giving Azure a hug. “Nadia was the baby until just now, so it’s alright, _prima_.”

Nadia joins her brother in hugging Azure. “We never had a cousin before! It's always just been me and Sylvio.” 

Azure stands still as the children squeeze her, looking up at Lance with a questioning look. Lance pinches her cheeks with his knuckles.

“They’re your family, birdie,” he says simply. “ _Tu familia.”_

Nadia and Sylvio pull back, pointing between themselves and Azure. “ _Mi familia.”_

“ _Familia_ ,” Azure repeats. She glances between the two older children for confirmation, and they nod their heads.

“ _¡Basta!_ Stop smothering the poor girl,” Luis scolds, swatting his children away so he can get to Lance and Veronica. His arms wrap them both in a comforting embrace. “Always good to see you guys. You know Ma never stops complaining how you both never visit.”

“She just wants extra help in the fields,” Veronica jokes, and Luis chuckles.

“Nothing gets by you, Roni.”

He takes their bags and tosses them unceremoniously in the back of his pickup truck. Kosmo hops in the bed, getting comfortable curled around a spare tire. 

Nadia takes Azure's hand and leads her to the backseat. Sylvio and Nadia climb up like spider-monkeys, but Azure is too small to follow. Lance lifts her up and places her gently beside her cousins, and turns to Luis. “You got a booster seat?”

“Not anymore,” he replies. “Just have her sit on your lap, she’ll be fine. Lisa used to do that with Nadia all the time.”

Not left with any other choice, Lance hikes himself up and gets himself situated in the backseat. Azure sits comfortably in his lap, and he holds onto her tightly. Veronica climbs into the passenger seat, and Luis turns around to check on everyone. “ _¿Estás bien?_ ”

“ _Sí, Papá_ ,” Nadia and Sylvio reply in unison.

The engine of the truck turns over, and soon they’re pulling out of the parking lot and onto the road. Lance can already tell that the language is throwing Azure off. A few more phrases pass around them, and she’s squinting up at Lance for some explanation. Brushing her bangs back, he glances down at her. “Luis is my older brother and your uncle _. Tío_ means uncle, so he’s _Tío Luis._ ”

Sylvio leans across his sister to gain Azure’s attention. “Lance is _Papá’s_ baby brother, so we call him _Tío Lance._ ”

“ _Papá_ means Dad,” Nadia informs Azure, shoving her brother out of her personal space. “ _Mamá_ means Mom.”

Azure’s nose scrunches, and she holds up two tiny fingers. “But I have two daddies.”

“Huh.” Nadia taps her chin in thought, glancing at her brother who shrugs. “Then I guess they’re both your _Papá.”_

“No, this is Papa,” Azure corrects, tapping Lance on the chest and then pointing upwards toward the sky. “My _Daddy_ lives in space.” 

“Oh, our _Papá_ and _Mamá_ live with us in the same house,” Sylvio informs simply, and Azure looks shocked.

“Sylvio!” Luis admonishes, glaring at his son through the rearview mirror. “ _¡Eso no es educado!_ ”

 _“¿Qué hice mal, Papá?”_ Sylvio huffs before he spots a pink Volkswagen Beetle and proceeds to hit his younger sister in the arm when they pass it. Nadia howls, punching him back when they pass a yellow one, and Luis gives up trying to wrangle the two of them. 

“Is that right? Should Papa and Daddy live in the same house, too?” Azure asks Lance in a quiet voice. He ignores her question and the hurt look on her face by pretending to be distracted by the signs outside the window.

Eventually, he’s going to have to have a conversation with his daughter about her parents sharing her across the universe, or Keith’s disappearance. He’s desperately hoping for the former. 

In his arms, Azure eventually drops the question and leans sideways to rest her ear against Lance’s chest. She’s been quiet for most of the trip, and he worries she's still not completely over the atmosphere sickness. When he checks her temperature though, she doesn’t have a fever.

“Are you still feeling dizzy?” he asks her, and Azure shakes her head, still staring at the window. Not knowing what else to do, he lets her be. Gently, he rubs her forehead with the back of his thumb until she drifts off against him, clutching Blue tightly.

The ride to Varadero is two hours from the station but feels shorter than Lance remembers. It could be because his mind is floating between his worries and the hypnotic sound of the ocean right outside the truck. He remembers the way he would retreat to the beach on a bad day as a child and would stay there until his father came to find him.

Lance fights the urge to wake up Azure to show her the view, his own eagerness getting the better of him. His first week in rehab, he’d missed the ocean so much that he could barely sleep. Meanwhile, Azure has never seen the blues of Earth’s seas.

Turning onto the dirt road leading up to the McClain Ranch, they pass one of the juniberry fields and Lance’s stomach sours at the sight of them. He feels a tug on his arm. Glancing down, he sees Azure is awake and pointing out the window.

“What’re those?”

“They’re a flower called juniberries,” Lance explains. “They’re from Altea and were Auntie Allura’s favorite flower.”

“Why’re they here and not on Altea?”

“Because I brought them here to grow for her.”

“Why?”

“Because I missed her after she di—” he stops himself, his wild emotions throwing him off to the point that he almost forgot the story Keith had told her. He quickly corrects, “ _Became stars_. It made me very sad.”

Azure grows quiet, glancing down at Blue with her brows furrowed. She seems lost in thought before she turns back to Lance and asks, “Are you still sad, Papa?”

Gazing out at the garden of pink flowers, it does make him sad to think about them. They represent a time in his life when he was so aimless that he almost gave up on himself entirely. He was so sure he was useless and empty that he was unsure of what to do with himself. He had spent so much time trying to _find_ his purpose that he had missed it. 

“Sometimes,” Lance says honestly. For too long, he was afraid of his own feelings and did everything in his power to suppress them. He’s since learned that bravery doesn’t come from avoiding, but from facing emotions head-on. Emotions can be extraordinary teachers.

Azure goes back to resting her head on his chest, watching the field of pink flowers past them through the window. “Papa, can you pet my head again?”

“Sure, birdie,” he whispers and tenderly rubs his fingers over her forehead.

“Daddy pets my head when I’m sad,” she says quietly, and Lance feels his heart ache in his chest. 

Luis pulls up to the house, quickly parking in front of their parents’ large family farmhouse. When they exit the car, Lance sees his mother waiting for them on the front porch. She turns to yell something through the house, and his father, Marco, and Rachel come down to meet them. 

Kosmo bounds out of the bed of the trunk, and Lance holds Azure on his hip. Azure fists her hand in the front of his shirt, eyes wide as they bounce between the members of his family— _her_ family. It's odd since she hasn’t had any issues with people in the past. If anything, she was overly friendly. 

Still, he introduces Azure to everyone, and of course, his mother is the first to come up to them. She smiles at Azure, glancing between the two of them. “Ah, _mijo_. She is a mix of the two of you.”

Lance feels his face warm, but before he can say anything his mother has taken Azure from his arms, holding her tightly. 

“I’m your _Abuela_ , your grandma,” she says softly, and Azure’s eyes almost sparkle when she looks up at Lance’s mother. The shyness quickly melts, and the smiling little girl from the lion conservation is back in full force. He’s not surprised, his mother was always the baby whisperer in their house. “Anything you want, you come to _me_ , _comprendes?”_

“Okay, _Ah-bella,_ ” Azure tries to say, struggling with the syllables. When she can’t pronounce it, she pouts and holds onto the front of Lance’s mother’s apron tightly. “ _Ah-brew-ella?”_

“Don’t worry, we’ll work on it,” Lance’s mother laughs, kissing the top of Azure’s head before whisking her off inside. “ _Corazoncita_ , you must be hungry. Let’s get some food in you, yeah?”

“Hey! We’re hungry too, _Abuela!”_ Sylvio and Nadia call, running over to follow their grandmother inside to secure some food, too. 

As much as his family’s home fills him with the dread of old memories, it does feel nice to be supported by them. Veronica and Rachel lead him inside and upstairs to the guest bedroom. One of the first things his sisters did when he moved out was remodeling his childhood bedroom.

“I took over your old room, Lancey,” Rachel announces, as they pass the newly painted and decorated bedroom. It didn’t even look like the space that he considered a dungeon during his darkest moments. Instead, it’s spacious and airy, filled with tasteful throw pillows and an easel for Rachel’s painting. “Figured it’s best if you didn’t recognize the old place."

“It looks nice,” Lance says before his twin hooks her arm around his elbow and drags him down the hallway, heading for the spare bedroom. He sees Veronica turning into what used to be Rachel's old room, and Lance can tell she most likely won't be leaving anytime soon.

“Mama set you up in the piano room,” Rachel explains, eager to show him. Lance follows her down the hallway. “She put extra beds there for guests.”

Swinging open the door, the room comes into view. It’s not that different from what he remembers, only now along with the piano, there is an old mahogany desk and two twin beds 

He drops their bags on the bed closest to the door, and Rachel lingers in the entryway.

“What?” Lance asks when she doesn’t move. “You’re not saying anything, and it’s freaking me out.”

“I mean, I have at least ten questions about this whole situation, but I don’t even know where to begin,” Rachel says, dismissively waving her hand through the air and leaning against the doorframe. Luis comes up from behind her and pinches the skin of her arm. “Ow! _Cabrón!_ ”

“You’re being a pest,” he scolds, giving her an exasperated look.

“No, I’m not. Lance and Veronica are banging aliens, sue me for being curious!”

“You’re not curious, you’re nosey. Anyway, Ma wants you in the kitchen,” Luis hisses, shooing Rachel away from the doorway. “ _Dale, vamos!_ ”

“ _Ay, eres toda una reina del drama!_ So dramatic. I’ll just have Roni explain to me how alien biology junk works.”

“I wouldn’t do that— ” Lance tries, but she’s already out of the bedroom door and pounding down the hall to find Veronica. He turns to Luis. “She’s about to get an earful or a smack across the face.”

“Eh.” Luis shrugs as Lance collapses on the bed, stretching out his long limbs and feeling the cracks and pops of his joints. Traveling by train and car always leaves him so stiff. 

Lance takes a deep breath and holds it, letting his body sink into the old mattress. 

“¿ _Qué bolá?”_ Luis asks, crossing the room to sit next to him on the bed, leaning back on his hands. “What’s the matter, _hermanito?_ ” 

Lance shrugs in response. He doesn’t have words for him. He’s not okay. He doesn’t know what he’s feeling other than like a failure in every department of his life.

“I’m not good with the space travel stuff, but I know what it’s like to be a new dad,” Luis admits, rubbing the back of his neck. 

Lance sighs and sits up. “Azure got atmosphere sickness yesterday.”

“Is that some kind of space thing?”

“Yes, and it's something all parents should know about so they can prepare their kids when traveling between teleduvs.”

“Says who?”

“Says this website I read,” he replies, suddenly embarrassed now that he hears it out loud. “There was a whole message board about kids who got atmosphere sickness, and it was the parent’s fault for letting it happen. Basically saying you’re a terrible parent, which I obviously am.”

“Woah, let me get this straight. You think you’re a bad parent because some strangers on the internet were mean, even though you’ve both only been on Earth for like,” Luis checks the watch on his wrist. Lance knows for a fact the batteries are dead and he just wears it as an accessory and to sell the joke. “Three days.”

Lance’s face pulls into a frown. “You make it sound stupid when you say it like that.”

“It sounds stupid, ’cause it is stupid,” Luis confirms, and Lance doesn’t know what to say. They sit quietly for a few moments until his brother continues. “Do you know how many times Sylvio and Nadia have gotten sick or hurt? Hell, remember how many times Ma lost one of us at the supermarket? She had to do a headcount every trip to make sure she didn’t lose any of us.”

“I mean, there were five of us.”

“But you wouldn’t think she was a bad mother, would you?”

“No, of course not,” Lance says with full certainty. He loves his Mama with all his heart. “But you know mom, she like... _knows_.”

Luis laughs, and it’s loud and hearty. “What the hell are you talking about? Nobody just _knows_. It’s not as if we have children and suddenly all the answers in the universe are downloaded into our minds. Although that would be pretty cool. You think your Garrison people could build something like that?”

“They’re too busy building war machines.”

“Eh, their loss.” He shrugs, leaning over to balance his elbows on his knees and glancing over at Lance. “Seriously, Lancey, no one knows what they're really doing — if anyone tells you differently, they're full of it.”

He scoffs at Luis in his head, cause that’s easy for him to say. Luis is a great dad, and Lance can’t even explain a box of old pictures to Azure.

“I’ve missed so much of her life,” Lance confesses, trying not to cry when he thinks about it. “The only way I can make up for that is to be a parent worth waiting for.”

“Don’t put crazy expectations on yourself, because the reality is you’re going to have good days and bad days."

Lance sighs deeply, knowing his brother is right. He's always placed so much pressure on himself, setting up unrealistic expectations that even when he reaches them he finds a way to doubt his achievement. He knows he's done this with his career, but now it's rearing its ugly head in how he views his parenting. The insecurity popping up again like a game of whack-a-mole.

“I don’t know anything about her,” he says and bows into himself as he starts to cry in earnest. “When we were at the doctor for her atmosphere sickness, he asked me about her pediatricians, and I didn’t know. Then when her file was up, I learned her middle name. Keith named her Azure Allura, and I just...I just…”

Luis puts an arm around him, pulling him close until Lance curls into his brother’s shoulder and cries. “I just wish I _knew_.”

“I know.”

“I’m a bad dad.”

“You’re not a bad dad, you’re a new dad,” Luis comforts. “Yeah, you weren’t around for three years of her life, those are facts. But what are you going to do now? How are you going to make sure she always knows how much you love her? Start from where you are, Lancey. Don't let your guilt about the past hold you back from the future.” 

Lance sits up sniffling, leaving a damp spot on Luis's shirt. The piano room doesn’t have any tissues, so he’s stuck using the ends of his sleeves. “I had no idea how much goes into raising a kid. It’s been less than a week with one kid. How did mom deal with five?”

“No clue. Parenting is the hardest thing I’ve done, and I used to hand seed the fields until _Papá_ cracked and finally bought a planter. I’ve done this twice...well,” Luis says, shoving Lance gently in the shoulder. “Soon to be three times.”

Lance’s face lights up with surprise, fading into gleeful excitement that has him squealing, “Oh my _god_ , Lisa’s pregnant again?” 

“Oy! _¡Cierra la boca!”_ Luis hushes him, pressing a finger to his lips. “Don’t be so loud, Ma doesn’t know yet. We just got the results last week, and Lisa wants to hold off on telling everyone for a bit.”

“ _Oh my god,_ am I the first person you told?” Lance’s voice cracks with excited anticipation, fanning his face with his hands. “Is it because I’m your favorite brother?”

“You’re a pain in the ass.”

“Still haven’t denied that I’m your _favorite_ brother,” Lance preens, snapping his gum and wiggling his eyebrows. “It’s okay, I won’t tell Marco.”

Even if he claims otherwise or gives his siblings shit for it, he never truly hates it when Luis pulls him aside to give him heart-to-heart advice.

Sure, Lance was mercilessly teased for being the baby growing up, but it always meant he had four other people he could go to with his worries or questions. There were always options too, so if Lance was annoyed at Rachel he could hang out and watch movies with Veronica, or if Luis cheated at soccer then Lance could pull Marco onto his team. They're all grown up now, but the same kind of support comes with their grown-up issues. 

“Veronica told us what’s going on with Acxa and Keith’s mission,” Luis says. “It’s okay to be nervous about Keith. Not only for yourself, but for Azure, too. As her dad, you gotta be strong for her.”

“How can I do that if I don’t even know how to be strong for myself?” Lance asks desperately. “Everyone else thinks I’m crazy when I tell them Keith’s still alive. What if I am crazy?”

“You know Keith better than anyone. If you feel that he’s still out there, then that’s your compass.”

Luis pulls Lance into a tight hug, and Lance goes boneless in his biggest brother’s embrace. Unlike Lance and Marco, Luis has always been sturdy and solid. It’s why growing up, Lance would go to him when he needed help around the farm or chasing off neighborhood bullies who bothered Rachel.

“I love him, Luis,” Lance confesses in a quiet voice. “And he doesn’t know how much I love him.”

“I think he does,” his brother replies, pulling back to meet his eyes and punch him lightly in the shoulder. “You don’t have a kid like Azure without it coming from a place of love, man.”

“Papa?” Azure calls, interrupting their conversation. They must’ve lost track of time in all this deep, emotional bonding.

“In here!” Lance hollers back, and quickly Azure scampers into the bedroom, running so fast she lands face-first beside him in a full belly-flop on the bed. She giggles, and Lance can’t help but smile at her silly antics. If she can move on from the night before, then he can too.

"What’s up, birdie?”

Her head flies up, big blue eyes staring up at him, and it’s like staring into the ocean. “My braid fell out!”

“I can help with that.”

Azure jumps into his lap and waves to Luis as he leaves the room. Lance undoes her hair, shaking it out between his fingers, before gathering it back to the top of her head. The repetitive motion of braiding is a welcomed distraction given everything that has happened the last few days, especially Keith's whereabouts

“I wanna call Daddy.” 

Lance freezes, holding locks of hair away from Azure’s face. He doesn’t want to lie to her, but he knows the truth is too complicated and frightening. Truthfully, he has no idea what he could say — there’s still so much unknown about what transpired on Luxuria.

“I wanna tell Daddy about my _familia_ ,” Azure continues, not waiting for Lance’s response. Her legs swing over his knees like they’re dangling off the edge of a cliff. Lance’s chest tightens with an icy fear, and he can’t remember a time in the past year when he’s been so afraid. He suddenly can’t meet her eyes, Azure’s expression is too open and honest to bear. He's terrified of telling her about Keith in fear of possibly willing his death into existence.

If his internal crisis isn’t enough, Kosmo turns the corner into the room, his big paws thumping as he makes his way to where Azure is sitting. When he sits in front of her, she rests her tiny feet on the wolf’s back like a furry footrest. It makes her giggle again, static crackling from her socks.

Azure tilts her head up toward Lance when he still doesn’t reply. “Can we call Daddy?”

Swallowing down the swell of emotion in his throat, he goes back to weaving her hair between his fingers into a french braid. “Daddy’s on a mission.”

He figures the lie is better than the truth, and it’s not a complete lie. Keith is definitely on a mission because Lance refuses to believe that something awful has happened to him.

“When will Daddy be done?” she asks, glancing down at the wolf under her feet. “Daddy goes on missions with Kosmo, but Kosmo is here. Daddy might be scared without him.”

Lance knows he should just keep braiding, but he can’t help himself and asks, “Why’s that?”

“Kosmo keeps Daddy calm,” she replies simply. When the wolf lays down, her feet go back to dangling mid-air. “He makes Daddy feel better.”

Glancing down at the wolf at their feet, Lance is reminded of the days when their team was traveling back to Earth on their lions. The eerie glow of the wolf’s golden eyes had never given Lance the sense that he was some kind of emotional support animal. But Keith found knives relaxing, so who was he to argue? Sometimes the wolf would appear in Red’s hull next to where Lance had created a makeshift bed, and he always knew it was on behalf of Keith.

The first time it had happened, Lance figured the wolf was just looking to break into his snack stash, but once he’d scooted over to make room, the wolf had teleported him into the hull of the Black Lion. Black had been the biggest of their lions, and where Shiro, Krolia, and Keith had been predominantly riding. The hull had been empty except for a cot that had been pressed against the wall with Keith’s sleeping form curled tightly in a ball. It had only taken a moment for Lance to recognize that Keith was suffering from a nightmare, a breakdown so bad he probably didn’t even want his dog to see. Kosmo had nudged Lance over with his cold nose, and he took the hint. 

It wasn’t the first time they’d shared a bed to keep the other calm. Ironically, while their friendship had always been a rollercoaster, it hadn’t been that weird for them to ask the other to share a bed. It was the best way to chase away the nightmares. Even if Keith drove Lance crazy with his stubbornness, he always wanted to be there for him no matter what. No judgment whatsoever. He still remembers how warm Keith always was when Lance would wiggle down under the blanket with him, how touching him was like being burnt by wildfire.

All these years later, Kosmo is still playing the role of Keith’s protector.

So then why is the wolf here?

“You can ask Daddy yourself when he’s back from his mission,” Lance says, tying the end of her braid. Azure turns in his lap, huffs and crosses her arms with a pout. Fortunately, he’s spared the tantrum he knows is coming when Nadia and Sylvio stampede toward the guest room, shoving each other as they fight over who gets through the door first.

“Hey, Azure! Wanna meet Kaltenecker?” Sylvio asks after pushing his younger sister aside so he can enter first. “She’s a cow!”

Azure is adquently distracted by the question, her face lighting up with a bright smile at being included by the older children. “Yeah!”

She wiggles out of Lance’s lap, crawling across the bed to grab her backpack before hopping off the mattress so Nadia can take her hand.

“Keep an eye on her,” Lance instructs. “No funny business.”

“‘Kay!” Sylvio says, pulling his sister and Azure out of the room before Lance can change his mind. Lance trusts Kaltenecker, though. For a cow from space, she’s surprisingly good around kids. “Bye, _Tío_ _!_ ” 

Kosmo stands and stretches, yawning before disappearing in another blue sparkle to find a new napping spot. Probably somewhere out in the fields. 

Lance leans forward to rest his forehead in his hands. He makes sure to follow the breathing exercises Shiro taught him: breathing in quietly through the nose for four seconds, holding it for seven seconds, and then exhaling out of his mouth, pursing the lips and making a _whoosh_ sound, for eight seconds.

He folds over until his head hits the pillow, legs still dangling over the side of the bed, and lets out a fresh round of confused, hot tears until he drifts off into something approximating sleep.

There’s a figure running ahead of him through the mist. It's Keith. The current pushes Lance back slowly widening the space between them

Lance should follow him. He always has before. Why wouldn’t he follow Keith now?

He calls out to him and can’t hear the words leaving his own mouth. It’s enough to make Keith stop, but he doesn’t turn around. He stays still when Lance extends his hands, mere inches out of reach. 

Lance tries to call out to Keith again, but no sound comes out of his mouth. He tries again to speak, to scream — his voice bottles up in his throat, and he can’t force it out. He reaches, desperate, but Keith is still just out of reach. 

Crying tears that threaten to drown him, Lance tries to take a step, but his feet are sealed to the ground. Though nothing visible holds them there. Keith eventually starts walking again, leaving Lance behind, until he’s nothing but a speck on the horizon.

Two arms grab Lance from behind, wrapping themselves around his waist. Lance spots a flash of pink paladin armor before he’s tugged backwards into the ocean. He’s sucked beneath the waves, drowning, mouth open in another silent scream as water fills his lungs. 

Lance wakes up gasping, tangled in his bedsheets, his cheeks wet. He chokes on his own spit, breath wheezing out as he tries to calm himself down.

The nightmare lingers in his mind’s eye, but a familiar pull tugs at his heartstrings. The same mind-meld that allowed them to form Voltron now reaches for Keith like an open wound. Their bond is stretching to its limits, but it isn’t severed. Not yet. 

The fire in Lance’s chest burns, never going out. He yanks his laptop from his bag and takes a seat at the old desk.

If Pidge didn't want to believe him and offer her help that didn't mean Lance was completely useless. Keith’s up there somewhere, lost or captured, but not dead. He’s not allowed to die, not on Lance’s watch.

Lance looks out the window at the clear sky of Cuba’s coastline full of stars. 

“You’re not getting off that easy, mullet. We’re not done,” he vows once his computer has booted up and opened every piece of documentation Keith had sent to his holopad before they’d left for Earth.

He only rips himself away from the monitor long enough to tuck Azure into bed, leaving a kiss on her forehead before returning to pour over the files, the computer's light reflecting off his face. He falls asleep at the desk while tracking ship movements in and out of Luxuria’s galaxy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ask me if I can go ONE fic without reminding everyone that Lance and Keith formed Voltron's wings - go on, I dare you.
> 
> There's been even more fan art for HOMC, if you can believe it! Head over to my twitter [and you find them!](https://twitter.com/i/events/1272209204317749248)
> 
> As always, leave comments yelling at me for hurting your feelings. Your tears give me strength.
> 
> Next chapter - Lance's birthday! Woop!
> 
> Spanish translations:
> 
> Presta atención! - Pay attention!  
> ¡Basta! - Enough!  
> ¿Estás bien? - You good?  
> ¡Eso no es educado! - That’s not polite!  
> ¿Qué hice mal, Papá? - What did I do wrong, dad?  
> Cabrón! - Asshole/Dumbass!  
> Dale, vamos! - Let’s go!  
> Ay, eres toda una reina del drama! - Oh, you’re such a drama queen!  
> ¿Qué bolá? - What’s up?  
> ¡Cierra la Boca! - Shut up!


	11. Birthday Sweet Hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Azure is vibrating with excitement as she glances at Rachel and Lance’s mother as if looking for permission. When his mother nods for her to go ahead, Azure leans forward to wrap her tiny arms around Lance’s neck tightly and cheers, “Feliz cumpleaños!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Julance! 
> 
> This chapter is all about the birthday of our best boy. VioletFoxTales powered through this chapter with me so we could get it up in time for Lance's birthday month. Once again, she's the real MVP of HOMC!
> 
> Hope you enjoy soft dad Lance because that's this entire chapter.

Lance relives every white-hot spark of pleasure he's ever had in his fantasies.

Below him, Keith’s face lights up into a pleased smile under the familiar glow of the Red Lion’s cockpit. He wordlessly leans back into the pilot seat as Lance’s thighs settle on either side of his hips in a way that seems to instantly up the temperature in the lion by ten degrees. Lance mouths words against Keith's skin, lips trembling as he kisses the curve of his jaw and presses slower kisses against the spot under his ear. 

_"Please,"_ he whispers in a plea that is for so much more than what words can express. _Please forgive me._ _Please stay with me. Please love me._ His arms wrap tighter around Keith’s neck. 

Keith seems to understand the language Lance is speaking, one of too little words and too much pain. He cups Lance’s jaw with his hands and kisses him in a way that makes everything else fall away until Lance's thoughts are left in still silence.

Everything is alright now because Keith is with him. They’re together.

Lance rests his forehead against Keith’s. “There’s something I need to tell you, Keith. I love –”

Keith presses two fingers over his lips and his mouth opens, but Lance can’t hear the words.

A bullet rips through Keith’s shoulder from behind, and he looks down at himself in the ringing silence. Marveling, Keith watches blood spill over his fingers as another bullet tears through him and more blood pours from his chest in a crimson rush. Lance frantically thrusts his hands forward against the wound in an attempt to stop the bleeding. Blood oozes past his fingers, and Keith pitches forward, sprawling over Lance, and the hot rush of his blood drenches Lance’s body, seeping into his pores.

Before Lance can react, Keith is violently ripped from him entirely and he’s left alone in his lion.

“ _Keith!_ ” Lance screams, extending his still bloodied hands out for him, but his fingers thread through empty air. The ringing grows louder, the ghosts of the dream slowly releasing their grip on his mind.

Lance jerks awake, his body full of adrenaline. He’s so disorientated that when his hand twists to grab his phone, he loses his balance on the desk chair and falls to the ground with a bang. The phone continues to ring.

Groaning, sprawled across the floor, he answers, “Hello?”

“Before you say anything, I’m not calling because I forgive you,” Pidge’s voice echoes through the receiver. Groaning again, Lance sits up to rub the bridge of his nose and glance around the room. Azure’s bed is empty, and he can hear his family downstairs presumably eating breakfast. “And turn your screen around, I’m looking at your ear!”

Groggily, Lance does as he’s told and stares at the video call on his phone. Pidge is sitting crossed legged in her lab, calling him through one of her computer’s many extended monitors. Three ROVER units float around her like birds as if she is some kind of technical fairytale princess. 

“Then what _are_ you calling for?” Lance relents.

Behind her, he spots piles of parts for one of the unfinished robots the Garrison seems dangerously excited about, and Pidge has informed Lance he’s strictly forbidden from talking about. It looks as if it hasn’t been touched since he brought Azure to visit the workshop earlier in the week.

Typically, Pidge wore exhaustion like some women wore perfume, but this time her tiredness has a manic edge. She’s been up all night looking for answers just like Lance

“To check in on you, dummy,” Pidge says, and he can see the eye roll behind the tinted lenses of her glasses. “Do you even know what today is?”

“Uh...Wednesday?”

“Oh my god. Lance, it’s your birthday.”

Holy crap. Was it July 28th already? He taps the calendar app on his phone and sees that it is. How did he lose track of time and forget his own birthday? Pidge glares at him but it doesn’t amount to any more arguing. 

Lance’s shoulders rise, half shrug, half sheepishness. “Thanks for remembering, Pidge.”

“Because you obviously didn’t,” Pidge supplies unhelpfully. She fiddles with the sleeve of her lab coat, nervously. “Curtis said you and Veronica took Azure to Cuba. I know your parents' place can be triggering so...um...how is it?”

Pidge is so earnestly awkward that it dampens the irritation he has with her over their fight yesterday. Lance climbs up to sit on the edge of his unslept in twin-bed. His neck is stiff from sleeping hunched over the desk. 

“My mom’s done a lot of redecorating since I left.” He sighs into the video call. “It’s kinda weird how nothing looks the way it did before.”

“A good weird or a bad weird?”

“Jury’s still out.” He laughs softly, and Pidge giggles too. 

There’s still a lingering awkwardness from their argument. He knows Pidge well enough to sense that the call is an olive branch. As upset as he is about Keith's disappearance, lashing out at her isn't the best way to handle the situation. Pidge always cares about her friends, and if they're going to bring the others home he needs her help.

Lance takes a deep breath, exhaling all the air from his lungs. “I owe you an apology, Pidge. I shouldn’t have said you didn’t care about Hunk, Shiro, and…”

“Your baby daddy?” Pidge offers, and Lance chokes indignantly, shoulders hiked up toward his ears. 

"Don't call Keith that!"

"What? Is he _not_ the daddy to your baby?" Pidge asks in mock confusion. Lance is blushing, he can feel it. “Wow, you still got it bad, huh?”

Lance desperately tries to think of ways to defend himself, but it’s a losing battle.

“Is this my punishment for being a dick yesterday?” he relents, trying to hide his face in his hand. 

“You’re a dick every day even if yesterday you were particularly dickish. But I know by now when you’re being an asshole because you’re nervous versus when you’re just being an ass, so you’re forgiven.” She shrugs. “Consider that my birthday gift to you. Next time I'm getting the death ray.”

“Thanks, Pidge.”

“I also called because I saw your lame attempt to hack into my tracking app.”

He sighs, again. Lance should know by now Pidge isn’t the type to let him get away with anything. One time at the Garrison, when she was still going by Pidge Gunderson, Lance had tried and failed abysmally to jailbreak his Garrison-issued phone. Even though she actively worked to avoid him at the time, the effort was so pathetic she ended up helping Lance out of pure frustration.

“I’m not giving up on them,” Lance declares, flopping back onto the bed, holding the phone above his face. “So, _that_ I’m not apologizing about.”

“Didn’t think you would, but using my tech isn’t gonna get you very far since everything is encrypted."

"So? I managed to hack into the traffic monitor all by myself," Lance preens, proud of his own resourcefulness. "Take that!"

"Yeah, so you actually didn't," Pidge reveals, leering over the rims of her glasses smugly. "I obviously caught your mediocre hacking attempts and swapped that feed with a loop of traffic around Luxuria’s star system from last month.”

Lance sits up.

“Are you serious?” Lance says, outraged. “I spent all night watching that!”

“Don’t mess with my shit, Lance.” Pidge glares at him, and it’s oddly terrifying. “Try it again and I'll send you a virus that sets your laptop on fire."

"You can't do that!" he argues before reconsidering. "...can you?"

Pidge dodges the question. "And I told you that the tracking won’t work with the electromagnetic storms going on. Even if you were using a live feed, all you’d be listening to is static.”

“How’d you know?”

“Because I’ve been trying to trace the team the second I got wind about their disappearance, duh,” she confesses, sounding more irritated than caught. “I didn’t think about the paladin bond until you brought it up, but I feel them too. Like a string or a tether — right here.”

She touches her chest, and Lance mirrors her on the call. Unlike Veronica or Curtis, Pidge understands that a paladin bond can’t be explained by science or alchemy. It’s ingrained in them and woven into their very core. 

“I told you so,” Lance says, his lips upturned into the plainest of smug smirks. “Never underestimate the paladin bond.”

Kosmo pads into the bedroom lazily, resting his giant, fluffy blue head in Lance’s lap. The old farmhouse still doesn’t have central air so is too muggy for the cuddles to be anything other than sticky and smothering.

“Is that Kosmo?” Pidge asks suddenly, sitting up and leaning closer to the screen. Lance groans, trying to push the wolf away, but he’s now begun licking his cheek and leaving behind a slime trail. Gross.

“Yeah, he popped up in my apartment the other night. Azure told me Keith doesn’t go on missions without him, so I don’t know why he’s here,” Lance replies, and Pidge looks skeptical like she figures this is one of Lance’s pranks. “He typically hasn’t left Azure’s side, though. She’s probably feeding him table scraps when we’re not looking.”

“Interesting,” Pidge says, leaning back in her chair. “If Keith was in serious danger, Kosmo would be with him. Instead, he’s hanging around with you and Azure, looking like he’s on vacation.”

Lance looks down at the wolf in his lap and is met with glowing yellow eyes. “I didn’t think of it like that.”

“This gives me an idea of how to track the others.” Pidge leans outside of the view of her camera, tapping away at her computer off-screen. “Every time Kosmo teleports, he creates a temporal anomaly within our singular reality. With Voltron gone, he’s the only creature I’ve seen that can still do that.”

“And how does this connect us to everyone?”

“There's an antimatter particle trace in the nanowave frequency shift,” she replies with a shrug. Lance blinks, understanding less than half of that sentence, and Pidge groans in annoyance. “I can follow where Kosmo has been teleporting from and use that to track Keith.”

“Oh!” Lance grins, his spirit-lifting for the first time in days. “And where you find Keith, you find Shiro and Hunk?”

“Exactly. This happened over 24-hours ago, so it’s not a strong signal, but it may be enough to point me in the right direction.” Pidge spins in her office chair. “I’ll run a tracer algorithm that can automate this, and I'll let you know when I find something.”

“Woah, you really are a genius, Pidge!”

“Duh,” she says again, rolling her eyes before hovering her finger to sign off the call. “Enjoy your birthday now that I’ve reminded you, and tell Azure I say hi!”

Lance waves goodbye as the call ends. He’s hopeful despite also feeling like this is just a blind guess. 

Glancing down at his cellphone to check the time, Lance sees his call logs and feels the same longing in his chest when he spots Keith’s name. It’s only been two days, but it feels like a lifetime since they’ve spoken. 

Unexpected tears pool in his eyes. He swallows around the lump in his throat.

Lance doesn’t want to cry—he doesn’t want this to be another pathetic addition to the list of times Keith has sent him reeling. Usually, he would call Shiro or Hunk to talk it out, but they’re gone too. Curtis is just as grief-stricken, and his therapist at the Garrison doesn’t do on-call hours during the summer. 

Clutching his phone to his chest, Lance’s eyes wander around the room and land on the bed across from him, still messy from Azure the night before. Captain Taki and Blue sit on the pillow and are half-covered by the crumpled blankets. Through the door, he can hear the sounds of plates scraping and his family talking downstairs

Mindlessly, he tidies up her bed and makes sure the stuffed yalmor and lion are placed gently on her pillow. It isn’t that he is avoiding Azure, it’s that he won’t be able to hide Keith’s disappearance from her forever. And besides, she’s having a ball with her cousins and his family. The last thing he wants to do is worry her.

Lance’s stomach grumbles, but he fights off his hunger and makes his way toward the window overlooking the ranch. Shimming it open, he climbs out the window and lifts himself up over the ledge of the roof. He huffs from exertion — this was a lot easier to do when he was a teenager.

He secures his feet against the shingles so he won’t slide off, and pulls out a stick of strawberry gum. Chewing it, Lance flicks the wrapping over the side of the roof, watching it land somewhere in the backyard. Luckily, nobody else is outside to ask Lance why he’s sitting on the roof at nine in the morning.

After the war and before he was caught in the downward spiral of his addiction, Lance would try to find comfort in the familiar patterns of being on Earth. He'd imagine sinking into a bubble bath with a big cup of hot chocolate. After his bath, he would wrap up in a fluffy robe and hide from the world in a bed with silk sheets and a mountain of pillows.

He even dared to imagine a body slipping into that sprawling bed with him. A familiar form with dark-hair, strong hands, and soft lips. Lance did a lot of things with the boy inside his head, but he was always ripped back to reality and left with the same lingering shame that the boy wasn’t the person he was supposed to be mourning.

Nagging shame ate away at him and after the lions left, it consumed him whole. The only way he could numb the pain was through alcohol and eventually heroin. 

From his perch, Lance can see the stretch of beach closest to the farm and the end of the boardwalk that leads to the farmers market his brothers run every morning. Closer are the rolls of fields where he used to tend to the juniberries before he was too strung out and dopesick to get up before late afternoon. He hasn’t worked in the fields since getting clean, but he can see the sea of pink over the hill where most of the junniberry fields still reside.

Dark storm clouds roll above the water off the shoreline, signs of an oncoming storm. There’s intense anxiety permeating the air as if between the tumbling clouds and the earth, there’s a fear of the storm ravaging the shore. Still, Lance welcomes a break in the summer heat, wanting nothing more than the thunder and lightning to shatter the tension like glass.

His cell phone vibrates in the front pocket of his shirt. It’s a notification with the latest weather update as if the universe was reading his mind—mostly cloudy with a chance of scattered thunderstorms. Lance flicks the screen away and goes back to his calls log. He tries calling Hunk and Shiro but is again met with the disconnected dial-tone. Both messages he texts them bounce back as unable to send.

Lance’s eyes rest on Keith’s name in his message history, and he opens their latest text exchange. The final message to come through is the one he ignored from Keith.

**Keith** : Got away for a sec and need to talk. Call me. 

Reading the message makes his stomach sour all over again. Lance is familiar enough with the Alliance’s security protocol now to realize that Keith wanted Lance to call him so he could secure their lines to avoid wiretapping. He even risked calling him twice from an unsecured connection just to get a hold of him.

Lance takes a deep breath. He’s fighting against the _should_ statements buzzing in his head like bees. He _should_ have been less stressed about Azure getting sick. He _should_ have been able to handle a few rude comments on a parenting blog. He _should_ have answered Keith’s call because then he would know where he was right now.

What or who did Keith get away from? If he had answered his call, maybe he’d know. 

Lance shakes his head. No! He is tired of beating himself up. Keith wouldn’t want these doubts to be an anchor wrapped around his ankle, drowning him. It’s difficult, but Lance wills himself to let it go — just as he learned in therapy. This isn’t the time for self-criticism. Compassionate self-forgiveness is still something Lance is working on. 

Therapy has been forcing him to unlearn harmful habits like quickly moving on from painful situations and repressing trauma— something Team Voltron was notorious for much to Romelle’s chagrin. Forgiveness isn’t quick, and expecting it to be is unreasonable

His thumb taps the screen to make the call before he can think better of it.

Unlike Shiro and Hunk, Keith’s call still goes through. It’s a false sense of security as if Keith will just pick up like he’s done all week.

“ _It’s Keith. Leave a message._ ”

Keith’s pre-recorded message echoes through the receiver, making Lance’s heart clench. He misses the sound of Keith’s voice. The way it’s always an octave higher than he remembers it. How even though Keith’s grown into a highly-respected leader, Lance can still pick up the timbre of boyish self-consciousness underneath each word.

The harsh beep of the voicemail blares in his ear. It doesn’t disconnect this time, and Lance clears his throat.

“Hey Keith, it’s Lance,” he says, swallowing hard as he closes his eyes. “I have absolutely no idea if you’ll get this because according to the Garrison, you were taken out by a bunch of racist, space furries. And if that sounds insane, then good, it means I’m right, and you’re not dead.”

Silence. 

“Veronica and I took Azure to my parent’s place in Varadero. It’s only day two, but so far, when she isn’t being coddled by my mother, she’s playing with Nadia and Sylvio learning how to get into all sorts of mischief. We’re probably in for some trouble knowing what they’ll teach her.” He laughs humorlessly.

“Kosmo’s here, too, and...I…” Lance tries to continue like this is just a normal check-in, but his voice breaks around the words. “ _God_ , Keith. I really hope I’m right. There were so many things I had planned to tell you when I went to Daibazaal with Shiro. Of course, I wanted to apologize for everything I put you through. I should never have left you alone on Altea. Even if I was terrified, I should’ve trusted that we could’ve figured it out together. That being scared didn’t mean I couldn’t try. I’ve always felt my strongest when I am with you.”

Lance grabs the hem of his jeans, tugging on the fabric.

“That’s all I got so just...call me back, okay?”

The voicemail saves, and he stares at his phone with a strange sense of loss. Deep inside him, Lance knows that this yearning is never going to go away. Worrying about Keith is going to be a battle he will fight for the rest of his life, and it is never going to get easier. 

Lance climbs back into the guest room where Kosmo is waiting for him, lounging across the floor like a shag rug. 

“If you can talk like Keith thinks you can, now would be a great time to reveal that,” Lance says, gaining the wolf’s attention. His dark ears flick to the side. “Would love to know why you’re here and if you know if Keith’s alright.”

He quickly looks at Kosmo for confirmation, because at this point, he’s not totally sure the wolf can’t read his mind. Kosmo just blinks slowly at him and yawns as if to say, _I don’t feel like being helpful._ Figures.

Since it’s his birthday, Lance figures he’ll take his time showering and getting ready for the day. The warm water is refreshing after sleeping in his clothes on the desk, his neck twisted in a weird position that has left him stiff and sore. After he takes his medicine and raises the razor to start shaving, he notices his reflection and stops himself.

Even with space-time taken into account, today he turns twenty-eight. Apparently, the year you turn the same age as your birthday is what people call a “golden birthday,” and it’s supposed to bring extra luck. Considering everything, he’ll take any luck he can get. Lance rubs a hand down his face, where his eyes are still aching from exhaustion and stubble scratches his palm.

Usually, he’d shave, but he decides to try something different today and skip it. Who knows, maybe this will be the year where he can grow a beard that isn’t totally patchy. 

When he leaves the bathroom refreshed, Lance makes his way down the stairs and stops when he’s able to see the scene in the kitchen. Rachel is at the table with Azure as his mother cuts up pieces of waffle with a knife so they’re small enough for Azure to chew. His father is cooking bacon in the skillet, shooing away Kosmo who is trying to guilt the man into giving him a slice.

Lance’s eyes land on an empty chair at the table and thinks of Keith. He used to frequent his family's farm after the war. It wasn't uncommon for Keith to drop by unannounced before Lance woke up, only to find him lingering at breakfast chatting with Lance's parents. Those days, Lance took his visits for granted. Now, he'd give anything to have Keith there with them, laughing at his father's bad jokes and helping Azure with her food.

“Mornin’,” he greets as he enters the kitchen, and Azure stands on her chair, leaning against his mother’s shoulder. She’s in a pair of dungarees with a pink shirt underneath, her moppy hair is tied back in low, braided pigtails. His sister definitely helped her get ready this morning.

“Papa!”

Azure is always so excited to see him, and it never fails to make his heart swell, fit to burst. Lance tries and fails to hide a smile. “Good morning, birdie.”

“Papa, c’mere! I gotta tell you something,” Azure announces, making grabby hands at Lance as he strides across the kitchen to lean against the back of the chair so he’s facing her. She holds onto his shoulders to keep steady.

“Oh yeah?” he says, voice animated as he wiggles his eyebrows. “What's up?”

Azure is vibrating with excitement as she glances at Rachel and Lance’s mother as if looking for permission. When his mother nods for her to go ahead, Azure leans forward to wrap her tiny arms around Lance’s neck tightly and cheers, “ _Feliz cumpleaños!”_

Lance grins wide and unabashed, squeezing her tight in a warm embrace. All the love in his being, the very warmth of his blood, it’s all for Azure. He picks her up from the chair so he can prop her on his hip and give her a loud kiss on the cheek. “ _Mwah!_ ” 

“Papa!” Azure giggles, touching his stubble. “Your face is itchy!”

“Is it?” he teases before rubbing the stubble that peppers his cheeks against her face until she squeals with laughter, kicking her legs and trying to push him away. 

“No, Papa!”

“What's the magic word?”

“ _Please,_ Papa?” she snorts with nervous giggles, and he stops at her command. 

Chuckling, he takes her hand in his and kisses the top of it. “ _Gracias_ , Azure.” 

“That means thank you!” Azure announces, looking over her shoulder at Lance’s mother. “Right?”

“It does, _mi_ _corazoncita_.” His mother nods, before looking up at Lance. “Happy Birthday, _mijo_.”

While he wishes the circumstances were different, Lance is happy to be home for his birthday. In the past, his birthdays were rowdy affairs full of bar hopping and free drinks being passed his way. These days, a quiet celebration with his family is far more preferable.

“ _Gracias, mama,”_ he replies, leaning down to give his mother a kiss on the forehead before turning to Rachel. “Happy birthday, older twin.”

“Happy birthday, baby twin,” Rachel says with mock authority. “I was going to tackle you awake at dawn to help us pack the truck for the farmer’s market, but it was your first night back, so you got a freebie. Don’t get used to it.”

Azure’s head tilts to the side, and she turns to Lance. He’s beginning to catch onto her expressions and can tell a question is incoming. “What’s a twin?”

“It means your Papa and I were born at the same time,” Rachel explains motioning between them. “But I was born four minutes earlier, so I’m older.”

“Then it’s your birthday too, _Tiá_ Rachel!” Azure gasps and bounces in Lance’s arms in excitement like she’s made a massive discovery. “ _Feliz cumpleaños, Tiá!”_

Lance’s chest swells with pride at how quickly she's picking up Spanish. Every parent thinks their kid is a genius, but Azure is smart as a whip. 

Rachel laughs, tapping Azure on the nose before Lance takes a seat. He motions for Azure to go back to sitting with his mother and Rachel, but she doesn’t move from the spot on his lap. He nibbles at the food his father puts on his plate and tries to ignore the concerned looks of his family. 

“Veronica is still sleeping,” his father explains, a forced smile pulling at his cheeks. “You know how tired she gets after traveling.”

“Uh-huh,” Lance replies, taking a sip of coffee. He doesn’t need to be told the elephant in the room is his sister’s absence. She’ll come down when she’s done sleeping, or crying or a mix of both. He understands how she feels, but is thankful that his parents are covering around Azure.

“Tonight we can have dinner together since everyone is home,” his mother announces as she gets up from her seat to pick up Rachel and Azure’s finished plates. “I’ll make your favorite cakes.”

Before Lance can offer to help his mother with the dishes, Azure grabs at his hand. She hops off his lap and pulls on his arm, urging him to stand up.

“Papa, c’mere! I gotta show you something now, okay?”

“Uh, okay?” Lance says, allowing her to tug on his arm as she leads him into the living room. Similar to when they were at the zoo, Azure has a strong grip when she’s full of determination. “What is it?”

She stops short of the floral sofa in the living room. On it sits her backpack shaped like a cutesy alien creature. It’s still a mystery to Lance what she keeps in there besides Blue and Captain Taki when they’re out, but she treats it like a sacred treasure. 

He watches her unzip the bag to pull something out before turning around and hiding it behind her back. Azure points to the rug and instructs Lance to sit on the floor. He obeys, because he’s whipped, and his child is strangely stead-fast in her instructions.

“Close your eyes, okay?” she commands and Lance obeys. He hears her come up to him and whisper, “Papa can’t see anything?”

“Nope.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.” He nods.

“Okay, hands out!”

He opens his hands, and suddenly he feels something square land in his palms. He grabs it on instinct — it feels like a book.

“Eyes open!” 

Lance does, and it _is_ a book. There’s a miniature photo album in his hands, pink with white flowers across the front. He opens it slowly and finds there are only four pictures in the whole album. Azure kneels next to him, looking impatiently between his face and the photo album.

“This is mine, but you can have it ‘cause it’s your birthday,” she explains. “We can share.”

Lance softens slightly, fully taking in his daughter. For an only-child, sharing comes surprisingly easy to Azure. Her care for others is an obvious result of Keith’s parenting and her own thoughtful nature.

The first is a photo of him and Keith on the castle ship from before Keith left to work with Kolivan and the Blade of Marmora. There’s a hint of a metal thumb in the corner, meaning Shiro had taken the picture before his disappearance.

They’re sitting on the common room sofa and sharing the earbuds connected to Lance’s phone. Keith looks so much younger in his red jacket with his arms crossed. He’s frowning at Lance who is mid-sentence, probably explaining the song. He can’t remember the time exactly, but there were definitely moments in those early days where the two of them would bicker about everything from music, to movies, to who could eat food goo the fastest (Lance won that round, but it made them both throw up so there weren’t any real winners). As much as Lance insisted they were “rivals,” Keith and him were attached at the hip most of the time and kept one another company.

Flipping the clear, plastic page, the next photo is from one of the few stops they made on their trip back to Earth in their lions. It was dusk and the team was sitting around a bonfire. Keith had fallen asleep, his head resting on Lance’s head as Lance slept on Keith’s shoulder. There was definitely drool trailing from the side of his mouth, which was probably why someone took this photo. Definitely could’ve been used as blackmail. Behind them, Hunk and Pidge made goofy faces, and Allura gave Keith bunny ears.

Bashfulness bubbles in his gut at how unguarded he seems at Keith's side. If it weren't for their armor, it would look like a picture from any other camping trip with a group of friends. Even Allura seems at ease, playfully enjoying their antics like the fate of the entire universe didn't rest on her shoulders. In all the eulogies written about Allura since the war, none of them ever capture the mischievousness she only shared with the five of them.

The next picture is from the months between Sendak’s invasion and when they left to find Honerva. Lance remembers this one — it was when James Griffin had dumbly challenged Team Voltron to a soccer match. They were all still building up their strength after being in the hospital for so long, but they still beat the MFE fighters 2 to 3. Hunk was the real MVP of that game and was a surprisingly good goalie. The photo is them celebrating obnoxiously, Lance had jumped on Keith’s back while Allura and Pidge tackled Hunk. Keith was smiling so wide, his whole face looked scrunched. 

The final picture is one that Lance remembers perfectly — it’s from the first Allura Day on Altea. It’s the only one he’s attended. Coran, Shiro, Hunk, Pidge, Lance, and Keith squeezed together for a selfie in front of Allura’s massive statue. It’s startling to see the Altean marks on his face compared to the other pictures. It’s not obvious in the picture, but Lance remembers the way that Keith had pressed himself up against Lance’s side and how his heart raced at mere contact. It feels silly to get flustered over that now, considering what ended up happening later that night.

These photographs were how Azure knew who he was when he came to their ship with Shiro. It was the only reference she had for him, the proof that he existed. Lance feels suddenly guilty that he hadn’t taken more pictures of their adventures. It reminds him that despite the horrors and pain of the war, there were good times too. It makes Lance miss that easy camaraderie of the castleship, the simplicity of their early missions. Defeat the Galra. Defend the universe. None of this messy diplomacy and dangerous clean-up work in the new reality Allura left for them.

The photo album also includes a shocking revelation that has Lance’s heart sinking right past his stomach. “You’ve been keeping these in your backpack this whole time?” 

Azure nods. “Daddy made the book so I can always have these with me.”

“Why?”

“Cause then Papa’s with me too,” she says in a small, quiet voice. She seems a little bashful, which is so unlike the fierce determination he usually recognizes from Keith’s face. It’s softer, a bit unsure. It’s Lance’s own face. “Daddy says it’s important to have pictures with the person you love. Now you have pictures of Daddy, too!”

Lance grips the book tightly, and it’s like he’s looking into the depths of the box of Voltron memorabilia Azure found the other night. It’s memories of a life he used to live, the person he used to be before he gave into his worst vices, and was swallowed up by his own despair. 

It’s hard to see himself in these photographs and not wonder what choices he’d make differently if he could go back in time. What he wouldn’t give to pull the pod from Keith’s ear and kiss him when he spun around, to wake up from sleeping on his shoulder to the sensation of Keith’s lips whispering sweet nothings against the shell of his ear, to dip Keith in a kiss after winning that silly soccer match...to stay the morning after Allura day and head back to Earth together to figure out their next steps. 

To be the Lance that would have been there the day Azure was born, who would’ve known her middle name and blood type, and what her favorite food was or her favorite color. The Lance who would’ve taught her Spanish from the moment she could babble sentences. The Lance who she wouldn't have had to idolize from four pictures and bedtime stories from Keith, but the Lance who was in her life from the start. Keith wouldn’t be off on dangerous humanitarian trips alone, Lance would be at his side, watching Keith’s back, because they both had a little girl waiting for her daddies to come home.

They’d have _so_ many pictures — they’d have too many albums together. All of them filled with pictures, always smiling. Always together.

“Papa?” Azure asks, and Lance turns to see how she’s peering up at him. His eyes are staring back at him, and he can read that she’s anxious. A return of that quiet panic. “Do you like it?”

“Yeah,” he says in a hoarse voice, pulling her towards him in a one-armed hug and kissing her forehead. “Thank you, Azure.”

She doesn’t say anything but leans her ear against his chest. He wonders if she can hear how quickly his heart is racing as he tries to keep himself from crying.

They’re interrupted by his father turning into the room. “Ah, _mijo._ I know it’s your birthday, but could you help me clear out the fields before the storm hits? Marco is still at the market.”

“Sure,” Lance nods, standing and handing Azure the album. “Can you hold onto this for me in the meantime?”

Azure nods and takes back the photo album gently. He ruffles her pigtails before calling to Rachel to watch her while they’re out before following his father out of the house. 

Hopefully, the fresh air will help settle his ragged nerves.

* * *

The rain hits right as Lance locks up the barn. His father has long since gone inside, the bad weather triggering his arthritis. Still, the heavy sound of the drops as they hit the barn roof orchestrate a soothing melody. He’ll always be relieved to see water falling from the sky rather than flaming rocks, or acid or god knows what else is going on across the universe. 

He walks back to the house unhurried, digging his boots into the red mud, and turns his face up to the sky. The drops slide down his face, into his mouth, cool and slightly metallic. It tastes like Earth.

When he walks into the mudroom, his mother fusses over him, throwing a towel at his face and demanding he strips his clothes to keep from tracking mud all over the house. After arguing, they compromise on her taking his socks and shirt while Lance keeps his pants on so he can at least get to the guest room to change. She still waits outside the door, her foot tapping until he exits in fresh clothes and hands her the wet pants. 

“Mama, I’m 28 years-old! You can trust me.”

“All I trust you to do is leave your clothes everywhere like you always have,” she tuts, as he follows her down the hallway. Thunder roars outside as the rain platters harder against the window. “At least you got inside before it got too bad.”

He parts ways with his mother downstairs to meet up with Rachel in the living room. She’s lounging on the sofa scrolling through her cell phone. On the floor, an abandoned pile of Azure’s coloring book and crayons are strewn across the rug. He glances around the room, but there’s no sign of Azure.

“Rach, where’s Azure?” he asks, and Rachel doesn’t even look up from her phone.

“She’s coloring on the floor.”

“No, she’s not.”

She barely glances over her phone, sees the scene, and shrugs. “Huh. Guess she got bored.”

Lance jerks back, agitated and afraid. “Where did she go?”

Rachel shrugs, eyes locked on the screen as her nails tap loudly on her keypad. Her aloofness sends him spiraling into a fit of rage. He dives on the sofa cushion in fury and attempts to manually pry Rachel’s phone away from her face. It doesn’t go well for him, as Rachel resorts to kicking, biting, and cursing him out with every cuss word she knows to keep him from grabbing it.

“Get off of me!” 

“You were supposed to be watching her!” Lance roars and his sister lands a solid kick to his chest that knocks him off the edge of the sofa. He tumbles to the floor with a hard thump.

Rachel holds her phone out of reach, keeping him pinned down with her legs and takes in his heated expression from the floor. “Azure is smart — surprisingly so considering she’s your kid! She’s fine!”

“She’s _three_!”

“Stop yelling at me! It’s my birthday!”

“It’s my birthday, too, and you lost my kid!”

“I didn’t lose her!” Rachel spits out. Literally. She purposely spits on Lance’s outstretched hand to keep him away from her phone. She ignores his shrieks, used to their squabbles after a lifetime together. “She’s probably playing with Kosmo somewhere in the house!” 

That’s enough for Lance’s dad-brain to kick in. Fearless adventurous toddler plus a teleporting space wolf equals her being literally anywhere. He wipes the spit from his hand on his sister’s leg and stomps off. He nearly trips over Azure’s shoes, which is annoying but a good sign that she hasn’t left the house the old fashioned way.

“Azure?” he calls down the hallway. He opens the doors to every room on the first floor, but all are empty. Groaning, he reaches into his pocket for a piece of gum only to find he doesn’t have a pack in these pants. It’s probably in the pair he gave his mother.

Outside, he can hear thunder rumbling and wild panic bubbles in his gut. The crashing sound makes him jumpy as he frantically searches for Azure.

When he rounds the corner, he’s about to yell her name again when he spots Veronica at the kitchen table with a mug of tea in front of her. She’s still in her Garrison sweats, legs curled up to her chest as she stares blankly out the window. On the table rests her glasses.

Veronica’s eyes are rimmed in red and undershot by deep, dark circles. She looks like she hasn’t slept in days, and she probably hasn’t. She’s definitely been crying. 

Lance hates the feeling of helplessness that washes over him. He’s too worried about Azure to get pulled into his sister’s grief tornado, even as it threatens to suck him in too. He spins around and nearly falls out of the kitchen entryway in his haste, but Veronica catches a glimpse of him.

“Lance?” Her voice is hoarse, and she doesn’t even try to muster a smile for him. “What’s wrong?”

He winces, hands flexing at his side. Lance doesn’t have the guts to fully face her. “Um...I’m looking for Azure. Have you seen her?”

Veronica sighs. “No, I haven’t.” She bows her head and rests her forehead on her knees. “Sorry.”

“Right. Well, if you see her can you let her know I’m looking for her?”

Veronica doesn’t answer, and Lance just stands there, unable to decide what to do. Her breakdown is an unpleasant reminder about Keith and Acxa, but he can’t get sidetracked. Instead, he takes her silence as concurrence and backs out of the kitchen to storm up the stairs.

Thunder roars against the windows and has Lance floundering through the hallway, heart beating in his ears. He nearly knocks over his mother who’s passing by with a basket of fresh laundry. 

“ _Cálmate, mijo!”_ She scolds, catching hold of his arm. Lance flinches away from her touch and she lets him go, stepping out of his space. “What is going on?”

“Have you seen Azure?” he asks, breathlessly. “Rachel was supposed to watch her, but she’s nose deep in her phone, and Veronica is going full Sally Field from Steel Magnolias in the kitchen, and I have no idea where Azure ran off to with Kosmo —” 

“Kosmo?” his mother interrupts, breaking his panicked rant. “You mean Keith’s blue wolf?”

“Yeah, that one.”

“The same one that’s right there on your left?”

Lance looks down and spots Kosmo staring up at him, tongue lolling out of his mouth. The wolf’s big tail wags, nearly knocking over the plant in the hallway.

“Uh...okay, so that’s half of ‘em.” He glares at the wolf, pointing an accusatory finger at him. “Where’s Azure, huh? Did you teleport her outside? She better not be on the moon!”

“Lance, _please_ ,” his mother sighs, exasperated. “There’s no way Azure has left the house. Keith’s wolf wouldn’t put her in danger, and she’s so tiny, she can’t even reach the door handle.”

Okay, that is a good point. 

“I saw Azure pass by when I went to drop off Rachel’s clothes in her room,” his mother says pointing down the hallway. “She looked like she was headed into the piano room.”

Lance exhales, his shoulders falling. “ _Gracias, mama.”_

 _“De nada, mijo,_ ” she replies but stops him before he can run off. “Hey, I found this in your pocket.”

She tosses his missing pack of strawberry gum, and he catches it with one hand. Taking a piece, he sticks it in his mouth. He marches to the bedroom he’s been staying in with Azure, Kosmo isn’t far behind him. Once inside, the wolf stretches out in the middle of the bedroom, following Lance with those eerie yellow eyes.

Another roar of thunder rolls across the malevolent sky as rain continues to strike the bedroom window. The untamed power reverberates and echoes across the farm. Luckily, he remembered to close the window this morning.

“Azure?” Lance calls, looking around for the toddler. He’s starting to properly panic now, eyes flitting around the room in an anxious dance. “Are you in here?”

There’s no response, so he checks under the beds and around the piano for any signs of her. When he stands up, Lance sees that Kosmo is leaning up against the closed door to the closet, pressed as close as he can get to it. The wolf pushes his nose against the door, pawing at it in an effort to get inside. 

The closet door opens with a creak, and small, brown hands grab at Kosmo’s mane to yank him inside. The wolf looks hopefully back at Lance, tail wagging excitedly before hopping into the closet.

“Shh, you silly wolf!” comes a tiny whisper, and Kosmo is so big, Lance is baffled how he could even fit in the closet. There’s another crash of thunder, and a small shriek echoes from the closet as the door is slammed shut.

A wave of relief washes over Lance, and he sits down on the floor in front of the door. He’s about to rap against the wood with his knuckles when he hears the sound of Azure’s whispers.

“Okay, Captain Taki you protect the front,” she says presumably to the stuffed animal before mimicking the meowing of a cat. “It’s okay, Blue. We don’t need to be scared. Daddy says thunder is just really angry clouds.”

More meowing.

“Daddy is on a mission, but it’s okay. I’m brave,” Azure whispers. “Kosmo’s brave too.”

Another boom of thunder has Azure whimpering, and as much as Lance wants to rip the door open, he doesn’t want to embarrass her. Azure may not like to show others when she’s afraid, but maybe she can let him inside to help her.

Lance knocks on the door lightly.

The door is thin enough for him to hear a gasp as Azure shushes her stuffed animals and the cosmic space wolf who cannot communicate verbally. Weird that he needs to keep reminding Azure and Keith of that detail. 

When she doesn’t respond, Lance tries again. “Azure, are you in there?”

There’s a pause before Azure answers in a high-pitched voice like she’s mimicking a strange old woman. “ _No! Azure’s not here!_ ”

Lance slowly massages tiny circles into his temples with his fingers. If he’s going to get Azure to trust him, he’s going to have to meet her where she is. 

“She’s not, huh? I’m her Papa, and I’m looking for her,” Lance says, playing along. The pattering of the rain against the window grips his attention. “There’s a storm outside, and I don’t like it very much.”

Another pause before the fake voice replies with, “ _Why_?”

“I don’t like the thunder; it’s too loud,” he confesses, and it’s the truth. 

As much as Lance loves the summer rains that fall across the farm and the fresh scent after, since the war, the loud rumble of thunder has bothered him. It reminds him of the roar of the airlock when Keith saved him from getting ejected out into space and the crackle of Red when he was electrocuted after protecting Allura. He’s talked to his therapist about it as he untangles all the triggers for his PTSD. It doesn’t mean the noise is any less jarring. 

Lance clears his throat, asking, “Can I come in, too?”

“...okay,” Azure replies, dropping the phony voice. 

The closet door slowly cracks open, and Azure is sitting with her knees bent up to her chest, Blue in her arms and Kosmo curled behind her. The wolf’s eyes land on Lance, and in a crackle, it teleports away. Left alone with her stuffed animals, Azure extends her hand for Lance to take. 

Lance smiles, holding her hand and being led into the crawl space. Even without the wolf, it'd have been a tight squeeze, but Lance is flexible enough to make it work. The door shuts behind him and Azure holds onto Blue and Captain Taki, staring up at Lance in the dark.

“That was me, Papa,” she clarifies just incase Lance actually believed the fake voice and glances down at her dolls. “I’m by myself.”

“Why are you by yourself?”

She shrugs, not looking up at him. Lance thinks back to Keith's cruiser and how a ship of that size must have tons of small spaces for Azure to fit into and hide.

“Are you scared?” he asks sincerely, and that's enough to get her attention. 

Azure’s tiny face scrunches up in the familiar Keith-face. “I’m _not_ scared!”

“Okay, okay,” Lance relents, his brows furrowing sympathetically. “But it’s alright to be scared sometimes. Everyone gets scared. Even Daddy, Uncle Taki, and Lala.”

Azure looks up at him and their gazes locking for a long moment. He stares into the ocean blue of her irises willing her to say something with all his might. She stays silent for a moment, long enough for Lance to think she’s not going to reply.

“Does Papa get scared?” she finally asks, and Lance’s heart rabbits in his chest.

“Sure, I got scared when I couldn’t find you just now.”

Azure looks down at Blue, picking the fuzz off the stuffed animal thoughtfully. “Do you get scared when Daddy goes on missions?”

“Yeah, I do,” Lance admits, his chest constricting with the admission. Especially now that Keith is missing, he’s terrified. “But I know he'll be okay.”

“How’d you know?”

Lance swallows, trying to put the feeling into words in a way she will understand. The feelings he’s held for Keith since he spotted him across the desert when they saved Shiro have always been charged. 

Constantly, throughout their friendship, he’s missed Keith when he’s left and worried about him when they were together. His obsession with Allura at the time was something he thought could cover his real feeling, and it worked until Keith walked back into his life. Whether it was six months of radio silence while working with the Blade or a year after the war when he was dodging positions of power on Daibazaal. 

“I can feel Daddy right here, in my heart,” Lance finally says, putting his hand over his chest. “And I get scared that there may be a day when I don’t feel that anymore.”

Azure glances up at him before extending her tiny hand out to touch his heart, too. He covers her hand with his, holding tightly as pride swells up in his chest. 

“Don’t be scared, Papa. I’m here,” she assures him as if he’d have any doubt.

Lance can’t hide the smile that spreads across his face, and he takes her hand from his chest and kisses her tiny fingers. “Thank you, birdie. I feel better.”

Azure pulls her hand away to go back to fidgeting with the fabric of the toys in her lap, and Lance recognizes it as a nervous habit she picked up from Keith. He always fidgets when he's not sure what to say, and the words seem too much. Azure isn’t nearly as reserved as Keith, but Lance can tell she doesn’t like to be vulnerable. He wonders if she’s gotten that from being around so many Galra.

“I don’t like thunder ‘cause it means rain is coming,” she confesses, curling in on herself. “I don’t like the rain.”

Lance sits up even straighter, shocked at what Azure is admitting. He remembers when they first came back to Earth and what a relief it was to see water falling from the sky. It brought happy tears to his eyes like a release valve. 

“Wait, you don’t like rain?” Lance asks, and Azure shakes her head stubbornly. “But there’s a lot of fun stuff we can do in the rain.”

“Like what?”

“Well, to start you can play in puddles and make mud pies.”

“Daddy says playing in mud is for worms, and I don’t wanna be a worm.”

Ugh, Keith. He’s driving Lance crazy, and he’s not even here.

“Okay, no mud pies,” he relents, but isn’t discouraged. “But you can catch raindrops on your tongue.”

“Lala says sticking your tongue out in the rain will make it burn and fall off!”

“Not Earth rain! Your tongue is totally safe.”

Azure touches her mouth gently, her face scrunching as she deliberates the risk of losing her tongue. Lance definitely needs to have a talk with Krolia about what’s appropriate to share with a toddler. It sounds like her idea of bedtime stories are the Brothers Grimm-level terrifying.

“I can show you if you want, but we gotta get out of here,” Lance offers, leaning forward with his pinky out. He remembers seeing Keith do this with Azure when she was struggling with saying goodbye. He hopes it's familiar enough for her. “Brave together?”

Azure smiles, her face lighting up when she wraps her tiny pinky around his. “Brave together.”

They exit the closet together, and Lance takes her into his arms. They leave Blue and Captain Taki behind on the bed and hurry through the hallway. He wants to avoid the rest of his family, knowing that his mother would have a fit if she knew what he was planning. When he instructs Azure to be quiet, she covers her mouth with both hands.

Luckily, they’re able to avoid everyone, and he grabs his rubber boots before sneaking out the side door. Dewy humidity hits him instantly. With the thunder now gone, the storm has eased, and the steady rain drums lightly on the tin roof of the porch. Above the sky is dominated by tumbling greys, smokey, and silver.

“On the count of three, we’re gonna jump into the rain, okay?” he instructs, and Azure nods, tiny hands still gripping the edges of his t-shirt. “One…two...three!”

He leaps off the porch and over the three stairs, his boots sloshing into the red mud with a wet splat. Azure gasps when a splash of mud hits her bare feet. She hugs Lance’s neck, giggling as they spin while the drops plaster her hair to her face. They probably should’ve grabbed an umbrella, but that meant Lance wouldn’t be able to hold Azure in his arms, and he’s just selfish enough to want to keep her close. 

While the thunder has become triggering, the rain has always been a calming sound for Lance. When he first moved in with Shiro, he would play rain sounds on his phone to lull himself to sleep. There wasn’t much rain out in the desert, but it was close enough.

Azure pauses and looks up at the sky, raindrops falling onto her face, slowly sliding down her nose and off her chin. She holds out her tiny hands and watches with that childish look of love and awe as rainwater pools inside her cupped palm. She inspects it with wide-eyed curiosity. “The sky cries on Earth?”

Lance has never had a chance to visit Daibazaal when it rained so he has no clue how storms are different there. Azure obviously isn’t used to water falling from the sky, meaning the storms she’s used to may be as violent as the ones on Altea. Lance can’t do much about those storms, but he can share Earth with her.

“It rains water on Earth to keep the planet healthy,” he explains, sweeping a hand at the land around them. “When I was a paladin, I was the guardian spirit of water. So rain is kind of my thing?”

“It’s so wet!” Azure exclaims, throwing her head back and giggling as only a young child can. It's that infectious kind of laughter that lights up adults like an echo of the children they once were. When she turns back to face him, she gasps, “Papa you’re glowing!”

Lance hisses a breath between his teeth, and with his free hand touches one of his cheekbones and watches the light reflect off his fingertips. He’s known that his marks sometimes light up when he is upset, but he’s never noticed them light up when he was happy. 

Curiously, Azure reaches up to cup his cheeks in her hands, thumbs on his marks. She bumps her forehead against Lance’s, face glowing in a pale blue hue.

“They’re beautiful,” Azure says over the sound of the rain that whites out the rest of the world. 

Never in all the years of having these marks has Lance felt this kind of warmth. He’s spent so much time wishing he didn’t have to look at them in the mirror every day; they’re a constant reminder of the most traumatic moment of his life stamped right on his face. 

But his sweet Azure doesn’t see them that way — to her they’re magic. It’s all she’s ever known from the stories Keith’s woven about him for their daughter. 

Azure holds out her arms for a hug and latches herself tightly around Lance’s neck, her face pressed into his shoulder. Lance's heart is so full, he starts to cry, and his tears are washed away by the rain. He twirls them in the storm, his boots sloshing against the earthy, red mud. A waltz to music only they can hear. It’s just the two of them pressed close together in their own private little universe.

Eventually, Lance's mother catches them outside and makes just as huge a fuss as he thought. He brings Azure inside, and even though they’re soaked, Lance's mother allows him to trail water around the house only because she's more concerned about her granddaughter than her clean floors. Still, he warms Azure up in a bath before wrapping her up in a big fluffy towel and changing her into dry clothes. 

This doesn’t stop his mother from scolding him for bringing a small river inside the house, and Azure grins. "Papa's going to jail!"

He gathers her up in a tickling contest and plays with her in the living room until dinner. Marco even manages to pull Veronica down from her room, albeit she still looks devastated. Lance thinks Azure notices since she keeps looking between the two of them. He pulls a brave face, refusing to worry Azure. 

Since Lance's recovery, there's plenty of water, juice, and soda but not a lick of alcohol to be found. Lance has told his parents several times they didn't need to become a dry house for his sake, but it always makes his father roll his eyes.

"I wouldn't bring you to a beehive if you were allergic to bees, right? You work hard, so let us make it a little easier. We do this 'cause we're proud of you."

While the analogy isn't the best, the sentiment is still sweet. The thing about being in recovery is that the first year everyone in your life is hypervigilant about having drugs or alcohol around you. Five months clean, there was a beer commercial on the television, and Veronica lunged over Shiro's sofa like a Blade of Marmora ninja to change the channel. Lance wasn't even watching the show.

Now, people are more lax. Something about hitting that one year mark gives people the impression it's figured out, even though Lance will always be an alcoholic. He's lucky enough to have a life that's worth being sober for and a family that supports him unconditionally.

Luis and Lisa bring the kids for dessert, which ends up being the same as it is every birthday: two small cakes, one chocolate for Lance, and vanilla for Rachel. Each cake has its own candles, and Lance balances Azure on his hip so she can blow out the candles in the numbers 2 and 8 with him.

There's a lot of pictures taken, and Lance makes a mental note to get some of them printed to add to Azure's photo album.

The entire night he misses Keith so much his heart hurts. Little things like when Azure tries her first piece of cake and proclaims that chocolate is better than vanilla, or when Rachel swipes icing on Azure’s nose and she laughs so loud it echoes around the kitchen. Those small moments that don’t always make their way into stories, but line the affection in his heart like a cornice. It’s not just the big events he wants to share with Keith, but the whole spectrum of raising their daughter together.

After Luis and the kids go home and Marco helps their parents with the dishes, Lance goes upstairs to get Azure ready for bed.

"Do you think the stars are up, Papa?" she asks once she’s in her nightgown, looking up at him with those big blue eyes.

Lance smiles. "Wanna find out?"

Azure grins, nodding excitedly. Lance grabs an old blue quilt his mother made and carries Azure down the stairs and out to the front porch. The storm has passed, and the low clouds have parted to show the dark night sky. 

Taking a seat on the rocking chair, he adjusts Azure so she's resting up against his chest before covering her with the blanket. Kosmo appears in a sparkle of blue, stretching and resting his big, drooly head by Lance's feet.

They lay under the night sky with the stars sparkling like a beautiful, surreal blanket above their heads. Lance can feel Azure’s heartbeat from where he holds her against him and can hear her soft breaths begin to even as she fights against sleep. He hugs Azure tightly and recalls in Keith’s parting words he called Azure his whole heart. She’s Lance’s whole heart too, beating outside his chest. 

Unlike Keith, love came easy to Lance. While Keith was hesitant, Lance’s heart was always open for his family, his friends, and even strangers on far-flung planets. It’s why it wasn’t hard for him to pick up being a paladin, defending a universe he loved was a no-brainer. Yet the love he has for his daughter is unlike anything he’s ever experienced.

He understands now why Keith had kept them separated for all these years. It wasn’t out of malice or anger, but protection. Keith wanted to protect Azure from getting hurt by Lance’s selfishness, just as Lance is now trying to protect her from being worried by Keith’s recklessness. It’s not Azure’s fault her fathers are the most thick-headed, impulsive, and stubborn men to ever pilot a giant robot.

Brushing back a strand of hair that’s fallen into her eyes, Lance lets out a sigh from deep within himself. He wants so desperately to keep her safe, and he wants Keith to be safe too. Even if Keith never returns Lance’s feelings or takes another chance on them, it won’t change how he feels about the three of them. Together they’re his family. He’d do anything to protect them. 

The summer night is a bit chilly, and the stars burn with the brilliant sapphire pallor of electric lights. The moonlight reflects off Azure’s face. 

“Daddy will come home soon, right?” she asks softly. The question is muffled in the fabric of the toy lion as Lance continues to rock her back and forth.

He thinks of all the heroic stories Keith told Azure about Lance while he was on Earth fighting for sobriety. How he believed in Lance’s capacity for love even when they were separated for years. Keith never gave up on Lance, and he’s not going to give up on Keith.

“Yeah, he will,” Lance assures her, and he means it.

"I miss him,” Azure whispers, her eyelids growing heavy. Lance runs his hands through her hair, untangling a few knots from her damp strands. 

“I know you do,” he replies, and even though he has no business promising such things he adds, “But he’ll be back soon. Then you’ll head home to the ship with Auntie Acxa and the others.”

"But then I'll miss Papa," Azure says, already falling asleep in his arms. "Always missing...someone."

The confession is so raw and honest, Lance grits his teeth to keep himself from crying.

Instead, Lance sits and reflects on every single choice that led him to this moment — the loss, his battle with depression and addiction, his recovery, and now forgiveness. It's all led him here, to this moment where he has his little girl in his arms, a cosmic space wolf at his feet and for the first time since finding the Blue Lion, he knows exactly what he wants. He wants this family, and he wants it with Keith.

Azure is out like a light, but Lance manages to pull his cellphone out of his pocket. Dialing a number from his call logs, it rings before hitting a now-familiar voice mail.

_“It’s Keith. Leave a message.”_

The beep signaling the start of the voicemail recording pings in Lance’s ear. "Keith, it's me. For probably the umpteenth time. I'm sure you're rolling your eyes at how obnoxious I am for leaving you so many messages. In my defense, we have a life depending on us so I get first dibs on your inbox."

Even now, it’s impossible for Lance to disentangle his friendship with Keith from their romance. An intermingling of the rowdy rhythm of their banter, the teasing jabs sticking to their skin like glitter, and the thrill of someone so bright and powerful pulling you into their orbit. 

“I’ve never told anyone this, but when I was in rehab, one of the exercises was to picture what we wanted most. Something that wasn’t drugs or alcohol. We would meditate, and for that entire first week, I couldn’t focus. I was so sick from withdrawal, and my confidence was shot,” he says, wincing at the painful memory. “But then, I let go. I stopped trying to force a picture to appear, and when I did, what I saw was you, Keith. It was you sitting on top of this hill, overlooking the Caribbean Sea. Always there waiting for me to catch up.” 

Lance stares out across the farm from their spot on the porch. It’s late, but he can hear the distant waves over the chirping of the summer crickets. Palms sway in the breeze, dark against the night sky. The rainy season will be over soon, but for now, the air remains heavy and wet, and dark clouds gather to the south, moving quickly. There was a time when this plot of land represented the darkest days of Lance’s life. His feet rooted to the soil, unable to climb out of the sunken place where he’d trapped himself.

“It ignited a fire that burned in my soul, the same feeling I thought was a rivalry when we were at the Garrison, but then I figured it was only admiration when we were paladins. Both of those were wrong,” he continues, voice softening. “It was love, Keith. It’s always been love. You shine so brightly, that falling for you is like falling in love with the sun itself.”

Lance reflects on every decision in his life, good and bad, that brought them together. To think of it as destiny is frivolous. He’s witnessed magic, been revived by it, and yet his love for Keith feels so much bigger than all that. Allura's lasting proof of her love was blessing him with a second chance at happiness. The world she left for them was meant to be a new beginning.

“Now I see Azure and she’s the best of both of us. We did that, can you believe it?” Lance laughs, the breath being pulled out of his chest. “I’m ready to climb that hill, Keith. I want to do this, to be with you. Not only for you or for Azure, but for all of us. I want to be a family. I’m ready.”

Lance doesn’t know how much more time he has left before the voicemail ends.

“Azure needs both of us, and I need you too.” He glances down lovingly at where Azure has fallen asleep on his chest. “I love you, Keith. Now come back to us ”

He saves the message and leans back in the rocking chair, holding Azure tight as she snores lightly into his shirt. Staring up at the moon and the stars, seeing the vast skies, he knows that somewhere out there, Keith is alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, imagine having Lance McClain tell you he loves you and to come back to him. I'd shoot myself across the galaxy for THAT boy. Technically this was Lance's Golden Birthday, and he needs all the luck he can get.
> 
> As always, make sure to kudos and leave comments about how much you love this family. I, too, love this family and want to talk about them non-stop. 
> 
> Next chapter - Hey everybody, Keith's back!


	12. Heart On A Wire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The closest thing Keith has ever had to a tether was Lance as his right hand as Voltron and Azure holding his left as her father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! A bit of a delay there between chapters, eh? We lost power for a while and it's a pandemic out there. We're here though, and we are thriving (as much as one can in 2020). This chapter is a bit long and emotional, but does Keith deserve any less considering what I put him through? Didn't think so. 
> 
> Biggest thanks to my beta VioletFoxTales, who also fought against both technology and power outages to get this chapter to look this good. 
> 
> Enjoy!

They're basking in the light of Altea's dual moons in a spare bedroom, and it’s radiant. Keith tries to shove Lance into the mattress, but they're both giddy and boneless so it ends with him pawing at his nightshirt. Lance smiles in that deep way that crinkles the corners of his eyes, and Keith suddenly needs to kiss him again, so he does. Keith feels drunk, but Lance tastes sober with only the lingering sweetness of strawberries left on his tongue.

Keith doesn't know how he ends up straddling Lance's thighs. Still, he's got immense gratitude for however it went down because being held in Lance's lap while he's kissing him with so much devotion makes Keith's toes curl. He can't even comprehend that he can feel this good. He's coherent enough to kiss back and knows what he wants — but he doesn't know how to ask for it. 

Lance seems to understand the language Keith is speaking; one of too little words and too much pain. Their mouths find each other in the dark, flushed lips trembling together in a needy kiss, their hearts pounding in tandem.

Their kisses deepen until it nearly devours them both. Keith wants to be the only one to make Lance unravel like this because Keith’s that special to him. Lance tells him that over and over against his ear, his neck, his mouth. Keith can't speak, but he wants so desperately to tell Lance that he loves him.

He wants Lance to know the love he's held for him since he was seventeen. The most alone he's ever felt were the moments until Lance came up and took his place at his side. Even when he left, that spot was never filled by anyone else. 

Lance whispers against his hair, lips brushing his forehead and lingering. _“_ _Are you ready, Keith?”_

Keith wakes up with a gasp, sweat clinging to his hot body. He pants, momentarily confused as water drops from the ceiling of a cave in spurts. 

Luxuria.

King Kuunia. 

Dromaku. 

Shot.

Laying flat on the ground, Keith is splayed out, bruised, bandaged, but alive. He's still lightheaded from blood loss, and even with the painkillers King Kuunia provided, the swelling on his upper arm and shoulder is deeply painful.

The humid cave that's acting as a shelter is dark with the exception of a few oil lamps lining the circle of their campsite. Further down the path, the tunnel curls away into infinite darkness, the light shows the rough walls dwindling as it snakes away.

Still groggy, he listens to the conversation between Kolivan and Kuunia near the makeshift campsite.

“How long have these storms been affecting the planet?” Kolivan asks, and King Kuunia makes a distressed noise in the back of his throat.

“Since the war ended. Our top scientists were researching the cause for their intensity, but then Dromaku had me execute them and destroyed their research.”

Keith rolls his eyes to himself. It's convenient that Kuunia can blame a dead man for his failures as a leader. If Keith wasn't so injured, he'd have no problem telling the king off for being such a spineless coward. 

Luxuria isn't the only planet experiencing extreme weather patterns since Allura consolidated reality. The Blade of Marmora has been sent to support several planets adjusting to this new normal.

“The reset of the singular realities has been a mixed bag across the universe,” comes Shiro's voice as he explains the situation in the calm way he always does. “Right now, the rebels and remaining Empire loyalists are spread out and disorganized. The most they’ve managed are small guerrilla-style attacks."

Kolivan grunts. "Those rebels search for pockets of unrest like Luxuria. Taking advantage of your unstable environment allows them to have the most impact.”

After a minute of pretending to care about the latest Alliance diplomacy, Keith twists himself just enough so he can grab his phone from where it rests at his side with his good hand. The screen lights indicate that he’s managed to get another bar of signal. Keith taps a familiar number and shifts himself slowly to balance the receiver by his ear. The call rings three times before going to voicemail. Keith knows the script by heart by now.

_“The person you are trying to reach is unavailable right now. Please leave a message after the tone.”_

Beep.

“You know, it’s super weird that you don’t have a personalized voicemail, Lance," Keith says, not bothering to waste time with greetings. He's left enough of these by now that if Lance gets them all, it'll be obvious who left them. "I would’ve thought you'd have one of those obnoxious ones where it sounds like you’re actually answering.”

Keith leaves the phone pressed against his ear, leaning his back against one of the boulders along the cave’s damp walls. It’s not a comfortable position, but the only way he’s managed to get any service while staying still enough to avoid re-opening any of his injuries. He can’t even be sure that his messages are being received by Lance’s voicemail, but leaving them has kept him sane for the past two quintets.

After his narrow brush with death, Keith was lucky enough to make it through with the help of the field blood transfusion kit and Krolia being a match. With the amount of blood loss, it was a Russian roulette if the transfusion would work. Fortunately, Krolia was majorly compatible, and the worst was avoided. It was touch-and-go for Keith the first day, but given the medical supplies within the shelter, Kolivan and Krolia managed to clean his wounds and bandage him up as best they could until they could contact the Alliance for proper care. Keith feels like shit, and his left arm is literally shot, but he’s alive, and that's good enough for now.

Since then, they've been bunkered inside the shelter beneath the castle as the electromagnetic storm rages above. Through some of the small openings between the rocks, he can see the inky darkness from above. Shiro, Krolia, and Kolivan have been watching a monitor by King Kuunia’s campsite displaying the situation on the surface while interrogating the leader. The sound of the wind raised to the level of a thousand howling hounds.

The earthquake was followed by strikes of lightning bursting on the streets that steadily made its way from one end of the city to the other. Eventually, Keith could count between the roars of thunder — count one, count two, count three, then, came explosions of thunder in great waves of discordant sounds. The noise level became so intense, it rattled the rocky walls, threatening to collapse the cavity of their cave

It was few and far between, but sometimes there were breaks between the thunder and lightning when the rain poured, and Keith was able to squeeze out a moment like now, where he’s able to sit his body in such a way to pick up a signal on his communicator to leave Lance a voicemail. 

He isn’t sure if it’s actually saving, and he knows that there’s no way any return calls could make it to his phone, but it was still soothing none-the-less. Like he’s writing a letter or recording a captain’s log that could be left with the ones he loves most.

“I hope Kosmo made it to you and is keeping watch over Azure. He’s always been close to her, ever since she was a baby,” Keith explains to the recording. “She was a preemie, came two and a half weeks early. It doesn’t seem like much, but Galra gestation is only 24 weeks so it was a lot. They had her hooked up to all these tubes and wires, and she was so tiny. I didn't even know they could make equipment that small. It was the most terrified I’ve ever been in my entire life — more than when we were fighting Zarkon or lost in space. But she was stubborn and strong-willed even then, so she pulled through. When they told me she was ready to go home, she was still so little that I was scared I’d mess up. I’m still scared.”

Keith takes a shaky inhale; breathing is still difficult with his gashed side and broken ribs. He thinks back to those early days with Azure. Fatherhood wasn’t something Keith had ever seen for himself, but he fell into it naturally. 

Aside from the moments of terror in those first few sleepless months, Keith’s heart is full when he relives memories of Azure’s first steps across the carpeted living room of Krolia’s apartment on Daibazaal, and her first words being _Daddy_ as she reached out for Keith's hand and held tight. The time she tried to surprise him with breakfast while Shiro was visiting and finding the two of them in the crew kitchen covered in flour with nothing to show for it but a plate full of burnt pancakes. 

But by far, his favorite memories will always be stargazing with Azure on the observatory deck before she fell asleep in his arms. Tuckered out from a day of finding her own adventures around the ship, filling the cold metal halls with sounds of laughter and impromptu song lyrics. 

Keith knows now that Lance was right to be furious at him for taking away the opportunity to share those memories. He was never given a chance to be there for many of Azure’s firsts, and it makes guilt churn heavy in his stomach. If Shiro hadn’t brought Lance to see him, then Keith could’ve died on this mission and never had time to reunite Lance and Azure. His excuse for needing time was always that, an excuse. He’s survived enough of these close-calls to know that eventually, his luck may run out. In the end, all he did was hurt the two people he loved most because he was too scared to let himself be vulnerable. 

“Sometimes she sounds like you, y’know. The way you’d get all huffy and overdramatic when things were difficult. I always have to bite back a grin cause obviously I don’t want to encourage that kind of behavior. The world can barely endure one of you.” Keith tries to keep his tone light, but the honesty around his words feel like they’re being choked out of him. “You should’ve been there to see it sooner.”

Six months after the war ended, Keith found himself falling into nightmares. They were dark and sinister, with him always reaching out for Lance as he ran farther and farther away. Sometimes he was falling, and other times it felt like when he’d be floating in space before Red would come to save him. When he’d wake up, he’d be drenched in his own sweat and his voice hoarse from screaming. He lived alone at the time so the only one who heard him was Kosmo, often whining in his face.

Every night he’d have those dreams, he'd open his phone to send Lance a text and Lance always replied. Lance was a victim of his own insomnia, and it wasn't like he had anything better to do at two o'clock in the morning, but it was still a small reminder that Lance was there. A little worse for wear, but still there. Keith missed those texts these past three years like the ocean misses the moon.

“Anyway, for some reason, my communicator is still synced to Earth time, and I saw it hit midnight a few minutes ago,” Keith says quietly into the receiver. “So, I just wanted to say...happy birthday, Lance.”

A simple click and the line goes dead again. Keith sighs, long and tired. He slowly pulls his communicator away from his ear and reads the screen. There’s enough power left to last another few vargas at the very least.

He drops his hand to the side onto the ratty mat below and tries to quell his fears and worries. Azure is in the safest place she can be right now. She's on Earth with Lance and far away from this planet’s environmental nightmare. 

The sound of boots crunching against gravel gains his attention, and he glances up to spot Acxa. She's usually quieter, though she's probably as exhausted as everyone else. She takes a seat next to him on the ground, blade in hand as she meticulously polishes its gleaming surface. 

“You look like you’ve been crying,” she tells him before he can say anything.

Damn it, she can always read him. “I'm not crying!”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” Keith replies between gritted teeth, the last thing he needs is to be called out for being so easily affected. He wishes he could cross his arms over his chest, but he’s bandaged up too tightly. “What are you doing down here anyway?”

“I need to sharpen my blade as there isn’t much else to do here,” she says with a shrug, sparks flying as her blade hits the whetstone. “Kuunia won’t shut up about joining the Alliance now. It’s like he became everyone’s best friend once we killed Dromaku.”

“It better be worth it.”

She tilts her head to the side. “How’re you feeling?”

“Like shit.”

“Huh, yesterday was like _dog_ shit, so maybe you’re making progress.”

“You’re not funny.”

“Veronica says my sense of humor is one of my best assets,” she corrects, and Keith rolls his eyes even if it's not visible in the darkened cave. “Regardless, once the storm passes we can get the hell off this planet and manage it remotely. There have been no other signs of Sendak’s supporters or the Fire of Purification anywhere else on Luxuria.” 

Keith sighs. “Unless they’re planning something.”

“They’re _always_ planning something.”

To anyone else, the removal of the rebels from Luxuria would have been good news. He’s sure once Shiro goes back to the Garrison, Iverson will be ecstatic to have another member of the Alliance and a foothold in the new sector. But to him, it reads very differently, and it seems Acxa is getting the same message too. 

It’s not a sign of expanding peace, but a never-ending war. It brings the same unease as a receding ocean current – like water disappearing out to sea before a devastating tidal wave. They had lucked out this time by negotiating an allegiance with Kuunia, but it could’ve easily gone the other way. His goal as Captain of the Blade of Marmora was to take less physically demanding or dangerous missions so he could be there for Azure.

But what if fieldwork, even in this capacity, is still too dangerous? It used to seem manageable, but now it’s hard to remember why being separated from his daughter for sometimes weeks on end is a decent trade-off for peace in far off sectors. What was the point of all the sacrifices they made during the war if they can't enjoy a peaceful life after it ended?

When he was younger, his own life felt like a fair bargaining chip if it was for the greater good of the universe. Joining the ranks of the Blade of Marmora, he learned the importance of sacrifice for the sake of intelligence. Knowledge or death. During the battle of Naxzela, he was ready to crash his ship to save his friends from the bomb planet, and then again on Earth, he was willing to give up his life to destroy Honerva’s robeast. The value of his life was worth nothing more than a means to an end. 

But that was before Allura died.

It’s been nearly four years and still her death reverberates across their lives. Restoring reality was her choice, and Keith knows there were no regrets in her decision. Allura saw her role as part of her duty, and she was definitely too stubborn and strong-willed to just let all realities crumble. But when she died, she didn’t just lose her life, she lost her future, too.

She lost the chance to see Pidge revolutionize Altean alchemy and Earth technology, or Hunk becoming a culinary diplomat, or Shiro leading the Garrison. She even lost the shot at having a serious relationship with Lance that wasn't marred by war. Maybe it would’ve lasted, or not. Keith doesn’t know — but he does know that Allura isn’t here and never got to meet Azure. Although there was no other way to mend realities, losing her taught him that every life is priceless. It’s worth living not just to be in service of others, but to find your own happiness, too.

He wants to stay alive to see Azure grow up because his little girl is going to change the world one day. He wants to spend more time with Shiro and tease his brother as he babbles on about that Curtis guy he likes so much. He wants to visit his mother on Daibazaal to celebrate the weird Galra holidays that all seem overly violent. He also wants to live to finally take the jump and make it work with Lance without excuses. He wants his life because it’s his and it’s full of people who need him and will miss him, just like he misses Allura.

He's torn from his thoughts when he catches Acxa mumbling under her breath, talking to herself as she sharpens her blade. She doesn't do it a lot, but Keith's known her long enough to know that she only does this when she's nervous.

“It sounds like there’s more on your mind than Luxuria,” Keith says to Acxa, leaning the back of his head against the wall of the cave. 

Acxa’s head jerks up and she makes eye contact with him before pursing her lips. Her blade stops moving, and she looks like she's been caught doing something unseemly. He's never seen Acxa this skittish.

"What's going on?" Keith asks, fearing the worst. Not that their situation could get much more dire, but he won't test fate.

“This is probably not the best time to talk about this," she replies, glancing away. "I shouldn't burden you right now. You should rest.”

“We literally have nothing but time.” Keith motions to the cave around them with a tilt of his head, raising his brow skeptically. “Look, if you don't tell me I'm just going to assume the worst thing imaginable anyway.”

Something sparks in her eyes, leaving Keith less than surprised when she follows it up with, “Permission to be blunt?”

As if she needs to ask. She usually doesn’t. He huffs, “Go.”

“I want to step back from my role with the Blade.”

Oh.

Well, that's unexpected.

Keith fights against his own face to keep his expression neutral at the announcement. Unfortunately, his voice always cracks when he's stressed so he croaks, “You’re quitting?”

“Not entirely, just the groundwork and relief missions. All this _stuff_.” And now it’s her turn to motion widely around them. "I'll stay a senior officer, but with more diplomatic duties within the Alliance."

"They're stationed on Earth, though. That means you'd have to leave the ship."

"I know that," Acxa says with a thoughtful nod. “My plan was to speak to you about it after the banquet tonight, but obviously there’s been a change of plans.”

“But...why? I thought you enjoyed this. Isn’t the ship your home?” he presses and Acxa exhales in a long sigh. It’s what she always does when he’s asked a question she finds to be bothersome. 

“Keith, I’m _tired_. I'll always be thankful for what you and Krolia have offered me with the Blades, truly. But I've been fighting my whole life. I'm not like Ezor and Zethrid who are happy to planet hop and take down tyrants, I want more," Acxa explains, tucking her hair behind her ear bashfully. "And Veronica does, too. I’ve put her through enough waiting at this point. I promised her this was going to be my last extended mission, and then we could settle down on Earth.”

“Settle down?" Keith gasps, the pieces coming together finally. "Does that mean you and Veronica are…?” 

“Yes,” she confirms and is unable to stop herself from giggling, her flush creeping over the tips of her tapered ears. Keith can count on one hand how many times he’s heard Acxa laugh, and he wouldn't even use all five fingers. It's almost scary how happy she seems, and he can't help but be happy for her, too. “Dr. Kor did the examination and confirmed that we are compatible. Veronica wants to start a family and frankly, I do too.”

Keith lets the news settle like a bucket of cold water dumped over his head. For years, Acxa has been his deputy as they worked to pivot the Blade of Marmora into a force of peace instead of a tool for war. It was fitting that his partner in the venture was someone who, like him, found herself with a second chance and a desire to push the universe to be better. How long has she been looking for the off-ramp?

“I hope you can understand my decision,” Acxa says, and her voice is so gentle. So unlike her, but then again, maybe not. Acxa always had a gentle side, shining through when she’d taken care of Azure or spoke about Veronica. “We’ve worked so hard to bring peace to the universe that I’d like to take some time to appreciate it.”

“Of course, I understand,” Keith assures. He reaches out his good hand to hold Acxa’s, squeezing slightly. “I’m proud of you. You two deserve to be happy together.”

“You do too, you know.” She smiles in the small way she does when she’s being sincere. “Someone once taught me that the biggest risk we can take is to allow ourselves to be happy.”

“Who said that? Sounds like an asshole.” Keith snorts and Acxa nudges him softly, but he can see in the dark tunnel she’s trying to keep from smiling. 

He leans back against the damp wall and lets a long exhale out through his nose, letting it all sink in. “You know, when you and Veronica have kids they’re going to be Azure’s cousins.”

"Huh." Acxa blinks in realization. “I suppose you’re right.”

“We’re really doing a number on that family tree."

“It’s probably best not to think too much about it,” Acxa admits, and he can’t help but agree. “I’m going to see if Krolia needs help avoiding any more small talk with Kuunia. Do you need anything?”

Keith shakes his head. “No, I’m alright.”

“Then rest.”

Acxa climbs up to her feet and makes her way over to where the others are huddled. Keith tries his best to relax, but now his mind is racing. For years he’s been focused on building up the Blade of Marmora as a force for good, a humanitarian group that can help heal the wounds left behind by a 10,000-year war. 

Talking to Hunk and reconnecting with Lance is forcing him to reassess his choices. It’s becoming ever more obvious that he’s been poorly coping with the end of the war in his own way. He isn't smoking or in rehab, but he has been isolating himself and becoming a workaholic, diving into the humanitarian missions with the same brazen, single-minded intensity that he used to fight with as a paladin.

With the end of the war and the new singular reality, it wasn’t clear what role the Blade of Marmora would have in a universe that wasn’t ruled by a dictator. Kolivan and Krolia were the only senior leaders left, and there were few who hadn’t been killed in the three years Voltron was missing. The formation of the Galaxy Alliance provided a new path and allowed them to pick up the work Allura had left in building a coalition across the universe as they worked together for peace. 

In this new universe without Voltron, the citizens of this reality needed to look for a new means of maintaining peace without the aid of a giant war machine.

Keith had rejected the invitation to be Daibazaal’s new emperor, and in the months that followed had been lucky enough to be too busy with raising an infant to be bothered. When Azure was six months old, the planet decided to hold its first democratic election for leadership elected by its people, which included senate representation for the Galaxy Alliance. Kolivan and Krolia won in a landslide.

That put the future of the Blades in question. In a meeting held for way too long, with his daughter strapped to his chest in a sling, Keith pushed for them to turn to humanitarian work, instead of disbanding after the war. It was the one thing that was missing as the planet reimagined itself. 

It didn’t hurt that Keith was still highly respected and the most recognized paladin outside of Shiro. The Alliance approved the motion, and Keith found himself with a new rank and the ability to determine which planet needed the most help, talking to their leaders and working with civilians to gain their trust. In those early days, he had two babies to take care of, Azure and the reformed Blade. 

From the start, Acxa had been his partner through it all. While Keith was giving interviews about the Blade's work, she was making sure that Azure was fed. When he had to share updates with the Alliance while rocking Azure to sleep, Acxa was the one who would tap in so Keith could put her in her crib. It was Acxa who brought in most of the new full-time crew, including Ezor and Zethrid who had grown bored of their lives of taking over warships and becoming interstellar space pirates.

“Eh, you tackle one head of an intergalactic crime organization, you’ve done it all.” Zethrid had shrugged.

At first, Keith was not going to accept the employment of former generals within Zarkon’s empire, but it was Acxa who pushed for their skill.

“Not every planet we go to will be peaceful, and there may be instances where their experience will be helpful,” she had advised.

In the end, any argument was lost once Azure reached out for the two over his shoulder, and Ezor took her from his hold with ease. Azure was smitten, and the two became her new “Aunties” on the ship. 

The cruiser had become his home, and the crew his life. Krolia would always babysit Azure from their ship when Keith was on extended assignments as he tried to create some sense of normalcy. It’s true that being so close to the action kept him busy, he didn’t even see Shiro that often. He saw his own brother more often on broadcasts and video chats during meetings than anything else.

“Keith?” 

His attention turns to Shiro, who’s come over to check on him. Keith must look terrible because alarm registers across Shiro’s face. “What’s wrong? 

“Nothing,” he says automatically. By habit he tries to shrug but he’s unable to lift his arms. Instead, his hands flop lamely, and Shiro crouches down next to him.

“Are you in pain?” Shiro asks, batting Keith’s hands away in the fussy way that usually pisses him off. “I can see if there are more painkillers left in the medical supplies.”

“I’m _fine_ , Shiro.”

Shiro knows better than to listen to it and instead grabs an extra blanket and throws it across Keith’s legs and sits next to him. He can always tell when Keith is not fine. That he feels so much more than that flimsy, four-letter word can ever convey. 

He misses Azure, he’s upset about Acxa leaving, and he wants to let Lance know how he feels. He’s been shot and stabbed, another example of his body taking too much of a beating. Keith’s not fine, he’s tired. He wants to go home, but he doesn’t even know what home looks like anymore.

He’s taking his frustrations out on Shiro, but as usual, he’s taking it all in stride. Shiro stood by Keith as he grew from a troubled kid into a slightly-less-troubled adult. Hell, he played a big factor in that being possible at all. 

“Acxa just gave me her resignation as co-lead of the Blade," Keith confesses. "She's going to settle down with Veronica, and this was going to be her last mission.”

Shiro's expression doesn't waver. “And how does that make you feel?”

“Shitty? Annoyed?” Keith huffs, before looking to the side and letting his gaze focus on some fallen rubble. “She’s giving up on this.”

“Wanting to take a step back isn’t giving up, Keith,” Shiro says, motioning to Keith’s shoulder. The worry crease between his eyebrows hasn't lifted since he saw Keith was shot. It's making Keith feel a sour mix of guilt and fear. “We don’t know how many more close-calls any of us have left. And this time was _close_.”

“It wasn’t _that_ close,” Keith argues, but he knows it's a half-hearted defense. 

“How can you say that?” Shiro asks, aghast.

“I’m still here aren’t I?”

“Because Krolia was here, too. If she wasn’t, you would’ve bled out on that operating table, and not only would I have lost my brother, but Azure would’ve lost her father. Do you realize how terrifying that is?” his voice shakes with fury. "How scared I was trying to keep you from dying in the ballroom?”

“Shiro, I—”

“I don’t want to hear it!” he argues, and even in the poor lighting of the cave, Keith can see the tears forming at the corners of Shiro’s eyes. His brother isn't a cryer, and it's making him feel even worse. “Don’t talk to me like this doesn’t mean anything. That your _life_ doesn’t mean anything.”

Shiro bows his head, cradles his forehead in his hands, his shoulders give a little shudder, and then he’s crying. Keith feels numb and helpless in front of his brother’s tears.

Keith has only seen Shiro cry three times in his life. The first was when they returned to Earth and learned Adam had died, the second was when they said their final goodbyes to Allura, and the last was when Azure was born and Keith showed him her tiny incubator at the NICU. 

“I’m sorry I said that. It’s not—that wasn’t really what I meant,” Keith grits his teeth, willing himself not to cry, too. “This was supposed to be over. We weren’t supposed to have to think about losing anyone else. That’s why Allura sacrificed herself.”

“Her death didn’t create a shield for us, it just gave us the chance at peace.”

“Is that _not_ what I’m doing with the Blade?”

Shiro looks up at him, tears still falling. “No, Keith. You've been running around the universe with a massive target on your back ever since the war ended. On those riskier assignments, you'd leave Azure with Krolia or me as if we weren’t aware of the stunts you were pulling. I don’t know if it’s an adrenaline thing or if you just cope by overworking yourself, but you're pushing your luck. Are you surprised Acxa wants to stop leading such dangerous missions, especially after what just happened?” 

Guilt twists in his stomach and a haunting notion bubbles up to the surface. How many nights had his mother and Shiro spent worrying that Keith wasn’t going to come back while they were watching Azure? Is that what Lance is feeling now back on Earth? Is he just waiting for the Garrison to confirm the worst? 

Keith squeezes his eyes closed. “It’s not like that. It has to be me, otherwise who else would do it?”

“It doesn’t have to be you!” Shiro nearly shouts, and it’s surprising that nobody has come over to check on them. They’re all probably trying to avoid getting involved, it’s not often that Keith and Shiro argue like this. “For someone who hates being in charge, you sure have a compulsive need to make everything your problem to solve.”

"Well, guess I learned from the best!" Keith doesn’t notice he’s crying too until he tastes the salty tears on his lips. "Damn it, Shiro."

A thick silence sticks to them like the humid air of the cave. Keith tries to wipe away his own tears with his injured arm, his ribs on fire. All he manages to do is nearly smack himself in the face.

He thinks back to how nice it felt to see Hunk again at Kuunia’s palace, and the friends Azure was able to meet once she was on Earth. There was so much he missed by being out in space, could there ever be a future where he found a place to stand still?

Maybe that's what Lance found these last three years. He had the sunshine and water he needed to plant roots, and those roots made him sturdy. Keith hasn't felt steady since he was ten-years-old and lost his dad in a fire. That's the thing about space, there's no gravity. You can float aimlessly forever without something to hold onto. Or in his case, someone.

The closest thing he's ever had to a tether was Lance as his right hand as Voltron and Azure holding his left as her father.

He thought he was moving forward, but he's just been floating in one place. Aimlessly waiting for someone to push him into a direction so he could rebel against it out of stubborn principle. Allura didn't leave just to save the future, she left to give them one, too.

“Shiro?” 

“Hm?”

“I’m really sorry,” he says, and Shiro looks at him for a long moment. His eyes are still sad, but his lips tug at a half-smile.

"Okay," he settles and reaches over to wipe the dirty tears off Keith’s face. Keith lets his brother fuss, too proud to admit that he’s been crying at all. 

That’s all it takes for them to make up.

They sit together and watch the fading daylight reflecting from the radiating black ripples of the cavern. A soft wind streams through the tunnel causing the gas lights to flicker, casting an ominous glow across the walls. 

“Acxa isn’t the only one who’s looking at doing something different,” Shiro finally says, jolting Keith out of his thoughts. “Iverson’s retiring at the end of the year. He’s looking for his replacement and asked if I was interested.”

“Holy shit, Shiro, that would make you Admiral of the entire Galaxy Garrison! You would be the head of the whole Alliance!"

"It would."

“You’re going to take it, right?” Keith asks, and Shiro looks conflicted. “ _Right?_ ”

“It’s not that I don’t want the job.”

“But?”

“ _But_ since the Kerebrous mission, my life has been non-stop between escaping Zarkon, to being a paladin, to saving the universe. I never got a moment to feel any type of way about the things that happened to me until the war was over. I’ve been trying to build a new life for myself,” Shiro admits, looking down at the ground. “It isn’t like I had Adam to go back to anymore.”

“Shiro…” Keith tries to comfort but he doesn’t really know what he wants to say. They didn’t talk about Adam a lot, which is probably part of the problem. He was Shiro’s fiancé, and it wasn’t as if Keith could erase the man who made Shiro so happy. 

“Sometimes I still expect to see him around the Garrison,” Shiro confesses, his eyes getting misty again. “That’s why when Veronica told me about Lance needing a place to go after rehab, I volunteered to let him stay with me. I was close with Allura too, and I knew what it was like to lose the person you loved and needing to heal from that.”

“I always thought I’d see you and Adam get married.”

Shiro swallows and nods. “Me too.” 

“And I’m sure Lance thought he’d see himself getting married to Allura,” Keith says, trying to keep the venom out of his voice. He hates how much the memory of his friend is still clouded by his own jealousy. Allura deserves better than that. “He would’ve become the royal consort to Altea’s long lost princess.”

"That’s actually not true at all.”

Keith feels like someone’s poured ice down his shirt. “What?” he asks slowly because he can’t quite believe Shiro would say something like that if he didn’t mean it. He knows how much Lance means to him and wouldn’t give him the false hope.

"I shouldn’t be telling you this, but it sounds like you need a reality check," Shiro sighs and leans forward. “Lance told me himself he could have never been a part of the royal court on Altea. He’d miss Earth too much, and he hates meetings because he can't sit still to save his life.” 

“But...but Allura?”

“Lance isn’t stupid—he saw what we all did in that relationship. Allura did too.” 

“Then why did they stay together for so long?”

“Could you blame Allura for being a little selfish and wanting Lance’s affection when she felt the most devastated?” Shiro asks, but the question is rhetorical. “You can love someone without being _in_ love with them. They were never given the opportunity to end their relationship cleanly. Part of the massive amount of guilt Lance felt after we lost Allura wasn’t because he wanted to be with _her_ forever, it’s because he knew his heart resided with _someone else._ That’s a hard thing to grapple with while grieving. Obviously, the means in which he coped with that grief were self-destructive.”

“When did he tell you this?”

“When he moved in with me,” Shiro admits, looking more than a little guilty. “But he’d mentioned it before the first Allura Day, too.”

Keith lets out a gust of air, a shocking _whoosh_ , and stays silent for a moment. If Lance was holding on to all that guilt, no wonder he ran away after their night together. They were at the New Castle of Lions on his ex-girlfriend’s planet celebrating her heroism. They’d just lost the lions, too. 

Lance was right, Keith never did give him a chance. For so many years, Keith had twisted the story that it was Lance who had run away from him, but that wasn’t entirely true.

Living on the cruiser with no dock, running the Blade across the galaxy with no end in sight, keeping Lance away from their daughter with no true endgame planned — it was always more about running away, right from the start. If he had stopped, he would have had to make a decision about Lance, about stepping back, and about deciding where to call home.

“Shiro—Shiro, I—I—" _love him._ He can’t choke the words past his lips, but Shiro could always read him.

“I know,” Shiro says, so softly Keith almost can’t hear it.

Keith sits up straighter and tries to will the last of his tears away. He should probably be more shocked, or embarrassed, that he just confessed to still holding onto these feelings for nearly a decade, and Shiro acting like it is the most obvious thing in the world, but all he feels is an empty sort of relief. 

At least Shiro understands. God, he must be so tired after watching Keith and Lance dance around each other for years. No wonder his hair stays white.

“And that’s all I’m going to say about _that_ ,” Shiro says with finality, and Keith tries not to laugh because it makes his side hurt. “In regards to leading the Garrison, I haven’t given Iverson my answer yet. I can still have the title or decline.”

“Shiro, there’s so much good you can bring to leading the Garrison. Think of all the lives you’ve made better by just running the piloting program, and you’re doing more than any of us to promote the Alliance,” Keith says, voice full of genuine honesty. “And would you really be able to deal if Iverson picked someone else to take over? I know you, Shiro. You’d nit-pick every single thing that person did until you ran them off the campus, and you’d be right back here with this same decision all over again.”

“If I took it, I’d be on Earth more. A lot more.” Shiro turns to Keith with a conflicted, hesitant expression. “I wouldn’t be able to visit you and Azzy as much.”

Keith thinks for a moment, fingers fidgeting with the blanket nervously. “Maybe I could give Earth another chance.”

Shiro looks back at him over his shoulder, his eyebrows raised in surprise. “Earth?”

“I know it sounds— ”

“Like it’s coming out of nowhere because you always said how much you hated Earth and never wanted to go back?” Shiro interrupts him. 

Keith sighs, leaning back against the wall and closing his eyes. “I felt that Earth never gave me anything. Besides you, every good thing in my life has come from space. The lions, my mom, Kosmo...it felt like I belonged here. It’s why I took up the BOM Cruiser. My hope was that I could give Azure the things Earth never let me have.”

“But?”

“ _But_ the people I care about love Earth,” he admits, opening his eyes to meet Shiro’s gaze. “So maybe I shouldn’t write it off completely yet.”

“Azure seemed to really like it,” Shiro confesses. “I forgot she never saw how blue the sky can be or experienced a thunderstorm where water rains from the sky and not molten rocks.”

“On Daibazzaal it’s acid,” Keith adds. “Probably why she’s scared of them.”

“Take it from me, when the universe gives you a sign, it’s best you listen to it. You never know what’s coming around the corner, so you might as well take your chances while you have them,” Shiro advises with a knowing look. “Just tell Lance how you feel and go for it. Love’s a leap of faith, and you’ve both been waiting long enough to make that jump.”

Shiro stands, wiping off the dirt and dust from his uniform and helps Keith adjust to a more comfortable position on the ground. There’s only so much he can do given it’s still just a mat and blanket on a dirt floor. 

“Get some rest,” Shiro says, but it’s more like an order. Keith knows he’ll have to be woken up soon enough to change his bandages and force down more painkillers.

He leaves only after confirming with Keith no less than ten times that he’s alright. If he was in better shape, Keith would’ve thrown his boot at him to send him off. 

Everyone else sets up for another night of sleeping in the shelter. Krolia changes Keith’s bandages because she’s the only one he won’t get fussy with about it. After he takes the painkillers and a swig of water from her canteen, she catches sight of his communicator.

“Make sure to watch the power,” she says. “We’ll need it after the storm clears.”

Keith tries to relax, but he can’t sleep. There are too many thoughts in his head and feelings in his heart. It keeps him lying awake, blinking at the damp ceiling of the shelter. 

He thinks of Lance and the red dirt of the canyons where his father’s shack once stood. A fantasy bursts to life of them living together in a rustic farmhouse with Azure and Kosmo playing in the front yard. Shiro, Pidge and Hunk will visit whenever they want. They’ll drink lemonade on a wrap-around porch. He’ll sneak kisses to Lance as they wash dishes together after dinner. Azure will have her own room with those glow in the dark stars that Lance used to stick everywhere on the castleship and a bay window revealing the night sky in the beautiful way that’s only clear in the Sonoran Desert. They’ll both tuck Azure in at night, before retiring to their own bedroom with a bed more comfortable than anything he’s ever had on the ship. 

Keith cracks and is able to reach for his communicator with his good hand. He redials the same number he’s been calling for days. It hits his voicemail.

“Lance,” he says, keeping his voice soft so he doesn’t wake the others. “There’s a lot that I need to tell you, but the most important thing is that I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for everything. You were right, I didn’t give you a chance.”

A sudden wave of guilt washes over him, even though it’s stupid—too late, now.

“I’ve missed you so much it hurt sometimes. When I first brought Azure home, there’d be a knock at the door, and I’d think it was you. But of course, it wasn’t. How could it be? I never told you about her. About us.”

The voicemail is going to cut him off soon, and given the state of his battery and the storm, he doesn’t know if he’ll have enough power left for any more calls. 

“God, I wish I’d told you. I wish I’d gone back to Earth and slapped that shit out of your hand. I wish I would have been there when you got clean and had made a home with you that was worth staying sober for. I wish I’d given you a chance instead of running away. Even after I’d promised you I wouldn’t, I did anyway.” His voice breaks at the end, and Keith is definitely crying now. “I wish I’d told you that I love you too, Lance. I always have. I’ve never stopped, and you’re right, it’s impossible for me to stop —”

_“The maximum length for your voicemail has been reached. Your message has been saved. Goodbye.”_

The call ends, and Keith sees his communicator is on its last bar of power. He lets his hand fall to his side and stares up at the damp rocky ceiling, listening to water drip somewhere inside the shelter. When he feels the track of tears flowing down his face, he doesn’t fight it.

His communicator vibrates. At first, he thinks it's because it's out of power, but then there's a sound of cartoonish laughter. He glances down at the screen and sees the familiar green character that appears when Pidge is hacking tech. It spins like a loading screen, a fuzzy image coming through as Pidge’s voice echoes through his speakers.

_"....is….Katie….olt...Garrison...Keith, can you hear me?"_

He’s finally got a signal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah! The power of pining truly comes through for our boys! Love that for them.
> 
> So we have two more chapters left and then the epilogue! Can you believe it? Unsure about the schedule, but it will most likely be what I've done in the past where I'll post the final chapter with the epilogue. I got some cool stuff cooking for THAT which I think you'll all enjoy. Follow me on Twitter for updates or just to be pals. 
> 
> As always, make sure to kudos and leave comments that I can screenshot and badger my beta with cause some of you leave us in stitches. 
> 
> Next chapter - Lance and Azure go on a field trip!


	13. Shattered Hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I wanna make my wish now,” Azure finally says and pulls Lance’s full attention to her. Her voice is the softest he’s ever heard it, but confident. “Please, Papa?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good luck.

The sun beats through the thin fabric of Lance’s threadbare t-shirt. His low back and shoulders ache, muscles knotted and tight from his hunched position planting seeds along the acres of land. Usually, Luis would be the one doing this work, but one of the side-effects of being the only brother who knows Lisa is pregnant is taking up his brother’s shifts while he takes her to the doctor. 

He didn’t even bother to tell Lance where to find the seeding equipment for the tractor. When he asked their father all he replied with was, “Hand seeding builds character!”

It also builds a sore back.

Lance is elbows deep in the dirt when his phone rings. Squinting through the sweat rolling off his brow, he blindly reaches to fish it out of his back pocket. The morning sun has made him so hazy that he doesn’t realize the call he’s answered is video until Hunk’s face lights up the whole screen.

Hunk, his best friend.

The former yellow paladin of Voltron.

The guy the Garrison told him was probably dead.

“Hunk?” Lance shrieks as he falls back in the dirt in shock. “Hunk...is that really you?”

“Of course it is, man! Who else would call his best friend on his birthday?” Hunk laughs, leaning back in the pilot chair of his ship without a care in the world. Reading Lance's face, his brows crease in concern. “Lance...are you crying? Oh no, I totally got the date wrong, didn’t I? Did I miss it?”

Lance is so stunned at seeing Hunk he doesn’t know what to say, just dumbly stares at him on the screen, tears streaming down his face. “This isn’t a trick? No magic? You’re real? Really real?”

“Uh, yeah I’m real. What the heck, Lance? You’re really freaking me out right now.” Hunk frowns. “You look like you've seen a ghost.”

There’s a beeping noise when someone patches into their call. Before Lance even accepts the request, Pidge breaks through all the firewalls he has on his comms and their call is cut three ways. Pidge still looks exhausted, but her eyes are as wide as saucers.

“Holy crap, my reading was right! Hunk!” she gasps, and now it’s her turn for tears. Quickly, her face twists sternly. “But how do we know you’re the real Hunk and not his evil clone?”

“What is the matter with you two? _I’m_ the real Hunk,” he shouts, looking equally freaked out and furious. Then a thought occurs to him. “Wait, maybe I could be a clone. I signed a lot of paperwork when we joined the Alliance.”

Hunk taps his chin thoughtfully, and Lance is too busy sobbing like a baby to provide much insight. He’s missed Hunk so much, it felt like someone had stuck a red-hot brand into the depths of his chest, and now he’s _alive_.

“Alright, so are we talking clones that have my memory like Shiro’s did or more of an Orphan Black situation where all my clones have distinct personalities and haircuts due to our own individual character arcs?" Hunk asks after some legitimate consideration.

Pidge snorts, her tears now freely flowing down her face. "Never mind, you're the real Hunk."

Hunk looks more relieved than he probably should. "Okay good, cause I was getting a little worried myself there, not gonna lie. Did we accidentally teleduv into the future or something? Shay said we shouldn't jump during an electromagnetic storm, but I figured it's fine cause the crystal in the ship was just mined, and we were only wormholing to the next quadrant. We did lose comms for a few days, though." Hunk is mostly talking to himself now. "Dang, if this is the future, do you think I can go back into the present with a Sports Almanac like in _Back to the Future 2?_ Not because I care about betting on sports, but to live out the fantasy, y’know?"

"Oh my god, Hunk I love you so much," Lance wails, somehow even more tearful. "I would do the same thing if I was time traveling! This is why we're best friends!” 

“You’re both so fucking stupid,” Pidge whispers without the barest amount of heat, rubbing her eyes with the sleeve of her lab coat.

"Aw, Lance." Hunk is crying now, too. "I love you more, buddy."

"No, I love you more!" 

"Okay, enough crying," Pidge scolds before Hunk and Lance devolve into one of their never-ending cycles of affection. "Hunk, you're not in the future."

"Boo!"

"But the Garrison thinks you're dead."

"Oh, super boo!” Hunk groans, throwing his head back in exasperation. “It is so annoying when they think one of us is dead. Is this gonna mess up my credit score?" 

“Iverson didn’t call it yet, so you’re still technically just missing in action,” Lance offers. “Should be fine.”

“Well, that’s a relief,” Hunk says, running his hand through his hair. "What happened this time?"

"Luxuria was attacked by rebels led by a Sendak loyalist in their king’s court,” Pidge explains, tapping something on her keyboard that patches in a video feed. “There's a video of Keith and Shiro getting overpowered at some fancy looking party. Check it out."

Pidge shares her screen, and Hunk watches in horror at the scene that plays out. Lance’s stomach does somersaults, and he adjusts his gaze to stare at the soil. He doesn’t need to watch Keith get shot again. The sound of the gunshot alone is enough to tie his stomach into knots.

Then Hunk’s eyebrows perk up. "Okay, so this definitely happened after I left, but that timestamp is wrong. It doesn't match the second one in the corner. "

“What second timestamp?” Pidge asks, and Lance squints to look at the corner of the video where Hunk is pointing.

“That tiny thing on the edge?” Lance asks and Hunk nods. “I didn’t even recognize that as time. I thought it was a label."

"It's standard procedure for the Garrison to add an adjusted timestamp when we get video evidence," Pidge explains. "Hunk, how do you know that's a timestamp, too?"

“I’m used to reading time from that quadrant because their ovens are set up with that numerical system. Makes pre-heating a pain,” he explains, scratching his scruffy stubble. "The banquet was running late, so I expected to stay the entire time in case they needed anything. But then King Kuunia burst into the kitchen and told Shay and me to leave because some crazy strong storm was coming.” 

“The electromagnetic storm,” Pidge clarifies. “It’s why we can’t contact anyone on the surface of Luxuria.”

“Right, but the timestamp the Garrison put on this video can't be the correct time of the attack, because we would’ve still been there. The time in the bottom corner is _actually_ the correct time."

"How could the Garrison get the time wrong?" Pidge asks, looking at both of them. "That would shift their entire timeline for when the attack took place."

Hunk’s eyebrows furrow and Lance can see his own skeptical face in the tiny view on the screen. It wasn’t like the Garrison to get sloppy. Considering most of their representatives spent time on Daibazaal, they should be used to having to deal with time dilation. 

Wait. 

Daibazaal had a different time than Luxuria.

Lance gasps. "Guys, it's because Luxuria has a different time dilation! Keith and I kept messing it up with Daibazaal time when we called each other this week!"

"Aw, you two have been calling each other?" Hunk coos and Lance sees his own blush in the front-facing camera. “I had a feeling when I saw Keith that you two were gonna start talking again. He seemed so smitten when he told me about you and Azure. I’m so mad you never told me you guys hooked up!”

Pidge gags and Lance groans. Only Hunk could catch up on this much space gossip during an electromagnetic storm. 

"Our calls were because I'm watching Azure!" Lance argues, glancing away awkwardly. He’s grateful for the glare of sunlight and his deep tan. Both are hopefully enough to disguise the blush rising on his cheeks. "We were talking about her and catching up on other things."

"What kind of other things, _loverboy_?" Hunk's eyebrows wiggle suggestively. 

“Hunk!” Pidge warns, and Hunk holds his hands up in surrender. Lance is still flustered but is able to continue now that the teasing has stopped. 

"It was casual. Typical short conversations about the banquet. Then he told me to call him, but we couldn't get a hold of each other. I still keep getting sent to his voicemail."

"You _what_ ?" Pidge screeches slamming her hands on the table, eyes bulging. "You've been making _contact_ with Keith's _phone_ and didn't _tell me_?"

She looks ready to spit blood, and Lance is honest to god terrified.

"Not his phone, his voicemail!” Lance defends trying to hide his own fearful panic. “It's not as if we've been having a secret rendezvous while he's been declared missing!”

Hunk snorts. "Says you."

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

Pidge growls and shuts them both up.

"Lance, if you reach his voicemail that means your call is connected to a transmission tower and there’s a GPS ping that signals their location more precisely than Kosmo’s trail. As long as it's still functioning, I could use that to hack into Keith's communicator," she explains slowly, rubbing her temples. "I can't believe you almost didn't tell us because you still think nobody knows about your obvious feelings for each other. Ugh, I hate you both so much. I'd leave Keith on Luxuria if you didn't have such a cute kid."

Lance feels the heat rising on his face. "There's no obvious feelings!"

"Huh, I smell something," Hunk sniffs the air. "Kind of like evergreen or pine? Yup, definitely pine. Cause there's a lot of _pining_ going on in this conversation."

"And there’s no pining!" Lance argues, but Hunk is on a roll. Not that Lance should be surprised, he loves playing matchmaker and has been rooting for Lance to make a move with Keith since the war ended.

"Hunk, you riling Lance up is not helping!" Pidge declares, and Lance nods.

“Yeah, Hunk! Not helping!" He pouts and his phone vibrates as the screen flashes green. The cartoonish icon of Pidge’s face grins back at him before spinning as she taps into his phone's operating system. "Woah! Hey, how are you able to do that? The Garrison secured this phone!"

"Who do you think built the security tech?" She doesn't look away from where she's typing, and Lance feels stupid for even asking. "Alright, I'm in the network and see your logs with Keith...wow, you _have_ been talking a lot. Lots of missed voicemails between you guys, too."

Hunk squeals. "Like love letters!"

" _Pidge_ ," Lance warns, and she rolls her eyes, but backs off.

"Whatever, Romeo. I'll patch them through to the two of you. Should take a few hours, but you'll know when they hit by the number of notifications." Pidge relents, and Hunk sends him a sympathetic smile. Still flustered, Lance shoves a piece of gum in his mouth and mumbles his thanks.

Their teasing isn't like the old mean-spirited kind that excluded Lance or made him feel inferior back when they were paladins. It's the kind that shows just how much Hunk and Pidge are rooting for Lance to go after what he wants — they're Team Lance.

The thought of Keith trying to leave voicemails for him makes his heart flutter nonetheless. It's nice to know that Keith’s been trying just as hard to contact Lance as he's been trying to reach Keith. It's not often that he's experienced someone putting in that much effort for him. He's used to always being the one who has cared more.

Pidge continues quickly typing and staring at one of her many monitors, the light from the screen reflecting off her non-prescription lens. "Now we'll convert the time log data from the last 72-hours from Daibazaal standard time to Luxuria’s time and… _voila!_ " 

She turns the screen so Hunk and Lance can read the new timeline. Not only did the second call from Keith happen _after_ the attack, but there have also been several call attempts made since to Lance's phone from the same IP address.

"Looks like there's a snippet of voicemail that Keith tried to send right after the attack. It didn't fully save, but I can make out parts of it. Do you want to hear it?" Pidge asks, glancing at Lance for permission. He knows she doesn't want to embarrass him, but he needs to hear Keith’s voice again, so he nods.

An audio scrubber appears on Lance’s phone screen, and Keith’s voice crackles through: “ _Lance...I don’t...know if this will reach you...Luxuria —"_

The recording cuts out, but it's still enough to reignite the flame of hope in his chest. Right there is the proof that he's known all along.

"Holy crow...they're still alive," Lance's voice breaks, and he covers his mouth to keep from ugly crying all over his phone again. The relief he feels washes over him like a wave, swirling around his heart. 

"Lance was right," Pidge gasps, and before Lance can ask, "And no I'm not going to record myself saying that."

Hunk's brows furrow with concern, his earlier teasing dropped. "He sounded hurt. If that video is any indication, Keith and Shiro definitely need our help."

"I'm with Hunk. Even if there's an electromagnetic storm, we gotta help them now that we have their location mapped," Lance says, and Pidge is already furiously typing. “I’m gonna grab Veronica and head back to the Garrison.”

“In the meantime, I’ll let the Garrison know I’m not dead before they suspend my social security number,” Hunk adds as Pidge stands up to eject a disk from her oversized computer.

"I'm going to send this timeline to Iverson and work with Matt to secure a connection with Keith's communicator." She turns to both of them with a look of determination. "Let’s bring 'em home."

* * *

Lance nearly skids into the living room as he rushes to find Veronica. She's sitting with Azure on the floor, coloring in a book of cartoon lions. It's still so early that Azure hasn't been changed out of her nightgown yet. 

Veronica doesn’t even try to muster a smile for Lance when he darts inside, just stares at him like he brought a tornado into the house. 

"Papa, why are you so sweaty?" Azure asks, nose scrunching. “And dirty?”

"Lance, what's going on?" Veronica demands, and Lance's eyes flick to Azure before meeting his sister’s gaze.

"I got a call from Hunk," he says breathlessly, and Veronica's face falls. "They're A-L-I-V-E, and Pidge is telling the G-A-R-R-I-S-O-N."

"Holy sh —" Veronica's eyes land on Azure and she stops herself. "...ugar."

"What happened?" Azure asks, looking between them for an answer. Lance doesn’t reply, too busy following Veronica out of the living room and barreling up the stairs. “Papa!”

In the frenetic pace of activity, he nearly knocks over their mother in the hallway after his mad dash to grab his bag from the piano room and sprint back down the stairs. Veronica races past, grabbing car keys from the key bowl by the front door and bolting to one of the trucks.

"Lance!" His mother scolds, holding onto him to steady herself. " _¿Qué pasa?_ What's going on? Why are you and Veronica stampeding around my house like cattle?"

“It’s Keith and Acxa,” Lance says breathlessly, unable to hide the manic grin that splits his face. “He’s alive! They’re alive, Mama! They found them!”

"Who did?”

“The Garrison! _Dios_ , I knew they were alive. We need to go and help them rescue—"

"No, you don't."

Lance is shocked. "What? Of course, we do!"

"Veronica, yes. But _you_ have other responsibilities," she tilts her head down the hall towards the living room where he can see Azure sitting with Kosmo curled up at her side. She's gone back to coloring, but her tiny brow looks pinched with worry. 

Outside, Veronica beeps her horn for Lance to hurry up. Pidge has probably already given Iverson the updated timeline. There’s no time to waste if they’re going to make it back to the Garrison in time for the mission. 

“ _Mamá estas loca?_ There’s no way I'm taking her on a search and rescue mission!” Lance hisses and looks at his mother like she’s grown another head. "Azure can stay here with you until I bring Keith back."

"You're talking and not listening, _mijo_ ," his mother scolds, tapping his mouth with her index and middle finger. "Keith needs you to take care of your daughter more than he needs you to fly across the galaxy for him. The Garrison has enough people, but Azure only has one you. She needs you right now."

Lance swallows, his eyes resting on Azure as he lets his mother's words sink in. He still can’t shake the image of Keith alone and trapped somewhere on Luxuria waiting for someone to rescue him. What if he sees that Veronica came and Lance didn’t? It’ll be another instance of Lance staying behind on Earth when Keith needs him.

But then he remembers the last thing Keith asked of him. 

_Take care of her. She’s my whole heart._

Keith has trusted Lance with his heart before, but this time it’s different. Azure’s both of their hearts, and the most precious cargo he could protect.

"You know I'm right, which is why you're so quiet," she settles. Lance nods slowly, and his mother takes his rucksack off his shoulder. "Bring Azure to see the juniberry fields. The big one over in Viñales Valley. You can take the train over and spend the day together. It'll be nice and keep you busy."

"I don't want to be kept busy. I want Keith to know I helped bring him home,” Lance says softly. He knows how whiney he sounds, but he can't help it. “I want to be important."

His mother reaches up to cup his face in her hand, gently rubbing the edge of his cheek where his mark ends. 

"You're doing the most important thing you can do right now, _mijo,_ " she assures, a sympathetic but knowing look flashes across her eyes. "You're keeping your little girl safe until Keith comes home."

* * *

Lance stands at the above-ground train station, holding Azure's hand. The platform has a handful of people waiting, mostly backpackers, reading over maps as they plot their next destination. While Veronica rushed back to the Garrison, Lance took his mother's advice to take Azure to the juniberry fields in Viñales Valley. Typically, it’s a four-hour car drive from his parent’s farm, but with the teleduv train, it’s only two. 

After Lance had left to live at the Garrison full-time, his parents had been offered a handsome stipend by Altean representatives for providing juniberry seedlings to develop a community field at the end of the island. As Coran had explained it, having there be a dedicated place for the flowers provided an opportunity for an Altean and Earth cultural exchange while also not isolating the flowers to one location. 

The grounds had officially opened a year ago in Viñales Valley and were named _Allura’s Field._ The Garrison and Coran’s Altean parliament had held a joint opening ceremony. The whole thing had felt too much like a red flag during his early days of sobriety, so Lance had stayed behind at the Garrison to catch up on work while Shiro and the others had attended. To the surprise of no one, Keith had missed it as well.

It’s Lance’s first time seeing the meadow, and maybe it’ll be enough of a distraction to keep him from checking his phone for the thousandth time that day. He’s waiting for word from Pidge, Curtis, Veronica, or anyone at the Garrison on the status of the search and rescue operation at Luxuria. Not that it is common for them to share mission updates, but Lance figures he’s an exception to the rule.

The sun is bright in Cuba, and Azure is dressed in a simple blue sundress and white sandals. Captain Taki is inside the backpack on her shoulders, and in her hand, she holds Blue by the paw. On her head, sits a tiny, lace bowknot straw hat protecting her from the sun. It was a gift from Luis and Lisa, who had dropped off Nadia’s old clothes the day before.

"Kids grow fast. It feels like yesterday that I was buying these for Nadia," Lisa said, watching as Nadia excitedly went through her old clothes and tried to dress Azure up like her own personal mannequin. Unsurprisingly, his daughter threw a fuss and whined constantly as Nadia wrapped her in too many layers of her old jackets. "If you don't pay attention, you'll miss it."

Beside them, Kosmo stretches and yawns before circling around them like a strange, blue landshark. Lance is shocked the wolf hasn't zapped out of there to go find Keith. If anything, he seems very lax considering his master is still MIA.

After checking his phone to be met with zero new messages or calls, Lance reaches back into his pocket and pulls out a stick of strawberry gum. Peering over the rim of his aviators, Lance sees that the next train to Viñales Valley is scheduled to arrive in four minutes.

Lance glances down at Azure, squeezing her hand. “Are you excited to see the meadow, birdie?”

Azure nods but doesn’t look up to meet Lance’s eyes. She’s been like this since they left the house, quiet and reserved, unlike her usual bubbly and friendly self. At first, Lance thought it could be another flare-up of atmosphere sickness, but when he checked her temperature she was normal and she ate breakfast with no issues. 

He’s about to ask her another question when the horn of the train sounds, and he looks down the tracks to see the teleduv train arriving. 

“Hold onto your hat,” Lance instructs, and Azure obeys, letting go of his hand to hold her hat with one hand while holding Blue tightly in her other. He presses his hand on top of hers to secure the hat, and when the train passes, a gust of wind flows over them.

When the cars stop, the sleek, chrome doors ease open with a graceful ping. A tall, thin alien woman with greenish skin, thick tail, and a perfectly pressed uniform greets them. 

“Tickets for scanning, please,” she smiles, sharp teeth aligning in a blinding grin. Her hair is blonde, wrapped in a tight bun underneath her hat. Lance holds out his phone, and the woman scans it with ease. It dings, and the screen flashes green. “Thank you!”

Her face twists into a sinister scowl when she sees Kosmo at Lance’s side. She clears her throat. “No animals on the train, sir.”

Lance glances down at the wolf and then back up to the woman. “He’s been allowed before?”

“Then you were given the wrong information.”

Azure looks at Kosmo, wrapping her tiny arms around the wolf’s neck and glances back up at Lance. “Papa?”

He feels helpless, looking between Kosmo and the attendant. “He’s technically a service—” 

“I will not repeat myself again, sir.”

Lance feels caught, but the ticket collector will not budge on the rules. He can’t even meet Azure’s eyes, afraid of the disappointment he’ll see reflected back at him from his own irises.

Kosmo whines and nuzzles Azure’s cheeks, making her let go of him. He then growls low at the woman, and with a sharp bark, he disappears in a blue crackle of light. The train attendant shrieks and jumps backwards, nearly losing her balance in her high-heeled shoes.

“C’mon, birdie,” Lance says, picking up Azure to shoulder his way through the aisles and past the ticket collector. “Let’s find our seats.”

It doesn’t take long for them to find their row with two seats right next to each other with ample legroom and a window. He sits Azure down and motions for her to scoot over so she’s up against the glass. She obeys and waits patiently as he buckles her seat belt.

She looks down at Blue in her hands, and Lance pushes the brim of her hat back to meet her eyes. “Kosmo will probably meet us there, yeah?”

Azure nods quietly, still not much for words. Lance removes her hat for her, holding it in his lap as she adjusts against the window to watch the train leave the station.

The announcer over the speakers reads the stops in both English and Spanish. However, every time he announces a new stop he reminds the passengers, “This is a train to Viñales Valley, _Allura’s Field._ ”

Azure’s eyes remain focused on the passing scenery. The train passes the ocean, farmland, mountains, and trees. All of which steals her complete attention.

She doesn’t turn to speak to Lance the entire trip.

* * *

The path from the train station leads right to the entrance of the meadow. There's a large wooden sign painted with juniberries, and Azure tilts her head to the side trying to read it. 

"What's that say?" she asks, pointing to the sign. It's the first thing she's said in two hours, and Lance nearly jumps at the opportunity to answer.

"It says _Allura's Field,_ " Lance explains, pointing at the sign. "It's named after Auntie Allura."

Azure eyes fall to her shoes. "Oh."

"It's a field of juniberries, since they were her favorite flower. The meadow was planted in her memory after she became stars."

"Papa planted the june-berries?" Azure asks, glancing at him through her bangs. Lance nods.

"Yeah, I planted them for her, but these are planted by other people. It’s one of the biggest meadows on Earth. There’s no way I could’ve planted all these myself. I’d be here for 10,000 years,” he jokes, but Azure doesn’t smile. She simply nods as that seems to be a good enough explanation. 

An anxious pit shifts in Lance’s stomach at how quiet Azure has been on this trip. Lance takes her hand and leads her towards the entryway. They’ve just passed the gates when there's a blue cackle, and Kosmo bounces out of nowhere and nearly tackles Azure, covering her in wet kisses.

"Kosmo!" Azure cheers, pushing the wolf's big head away from her face. "You found us!"

Lance feels a sense of relief, even with the curious stares they’re getting from passerbys at the giant wolf slobbering over a toddler. Once Kosmo is back with them, Azure’s mood seems to lighten. The field is open to the public and animals so there's nobody here who can kick him out. 

Holding on to Azure's hand again, Lance leads them along the wooden path surrounding the field. There are signs displaying arrows pointing in the direction to walk along to see all the flowers. 

Even though the summer months are usually filled with tourists, today is mostly empty aside from an elderly human couple enjoying the stroll, a few Alteans, and a young Olkarian man in glasses inspecting the juniberries and sketching in a notebook. It's still early in the blooming season, most of the traffic will pick up come August.

Azure takes her time climbing up the steps, her sandals digging into the dirt. Lance helps her up as Kosmo bounds up ahead of them, bouncing around excitedly. Lance wonders if he can set the wolf out to run through one of the fields just to burn off the extra energy.

"Lance?"

He hears his name and, over his sunglasses, squints to see Romelle at the other end of the path. The last he heard, she was living on New Altea full-time as one of the founding members of a historical academy located in the planet's capital. When working as an admin at the Garrison, Lance referred a few cadets interested in diplomacy to her program.

"Romelle?" Lance laughs when she jogs over to give him a hug. "What the heck are you doing here?"

He takes a moment to take in her appearance. She's wearing a blue jumpsuit with yellow sneakers. Her hair is cut short, a shaggy pixie-cut and her tapered ears are poking out from underneath her denim cap. 

"I’m supervising the summer horticultural study this year. We immerse young Alteans in learning about Altea's culture as it assimilates with other planets in the Alliance," she explains, thumbing at the meadow. "You'll find a lot of students volunteering around the juniberry fields until the end of the summer."

“Is this a Garrison thing or a Coran thing?”

“Oh, totally a Coran thing. You know how nosey he is about these flowers.” Romelle laughs, leaning back with her hands on her hips. She notices Azure at Lance’s side. “And who might this be?”

“Ah, this is Azure.” Lance jumps, voice breaking embarrassingly. He crouches down so he’s eye-level with the toddler. "Romelle is friends with me and Daddy."

Azure tilts her head to the side, looking up at Romelle with curiosity. Lance wonders if she’s ever met an Altean before. 

"Huh, Coran told me that Keith has a daughter named Azure, too," Romelle says, tapping her chin before the realization dawns. Her eyes widen comically. " _Oh_."

Lance stands up and rubs the back of his neck, bashfully. "Yeah, she is _our_ daughter."

Romelle is visibly shocked that he put it so bluntly, but it had to be said. Even if Keith and him never get back together, Azure is completely theirs in every sense of the word. Lance needs to get used to saying it out loud. 

He watches Romelle’s face shift from surprise to a gentle understanding. Lance is not surprised that Romelle seems genuinely happy for them. She was one of the few people who had visited Lance on Altea where he’d spent those first few months after the war helping Coran with Altea’s reconstruction. His hope back then was the work would help him figure out what exactly Allura had wanted from him by leaving him with Altean marks.

“Maybe she didn’t want anything,” Romelle had offered one afternoon from the bench they’d sat on together while watching Coran bark orders at some poor aide as they planned Allura’s memorial statue. “Haven’t we all given enough?”

The answer surrounding the marks never came and soon Lance had returned to his family’s farm full-time with a crate full of juniberry seeds, none the wiser about his marks.

While Romelle had always been kind and supportive of Lance dating Allura, he couldn’t help but notice the small layer of tension that had arisen in their friendship afterward. It had been nothing significant, but just enough of a strain of jealousy that had tipped him off that she’d probably been carrying a torch for Allura since their trip to Earth. He’s never asked about it.

"Well, then that certainly explains Kosmo!" Romelle laughs, squatting down to extend her hand towards Azure. "Hello little one, my name is Romelle! It's a pleasure to meet you."

Azure looks at her hand before taking it with a shake and bright smile. "I'm Azure!"

"Such a very lovely name, Azure! Where I come from, one of our most beautiful oceans is called the Azure Sea where colorful fish and reefs reside.” Romelle smiles, the corners of her marks crinkle, and it catches Azure’s attention.

“You have marks,” Azure says, tapping her own cheeks to signal to Romelle what she means.

Romelle nods. “I do.”

“My Papa has marks too,” she announces, pointing to Lance just in case Romelle needs a visual aid. “How did you get yours?”

“Azure, maybe we shouldn’t ask Romelle about her marks,” Lance offers gently, and Romelle tuts him with her finger.

“It’s alright, Lance. Children are allowed to ask questions,” Romelle assures before turning back to Azure. “I was born with them. I’m Altean.”

“Oh,” Azure says, sounding a little bit disappointed. “My Papa’s not Altean. He’s Cuban. I’m Cuban too. _And_ Galra. _And_ Human. But I’m not Altean.”

“Your father has his marks because he’s very special, Azure. He’s the only human in the whole galaxy with Altean marks like those because they were a gift left by Princess Allura. Do you know who she is?”

At the mention of Allura, Azure’s face sours like she’s bit into a lemon. Her brows crease and face tenses. Lance doesn’t know where it’s coming from, she usually loves hearing stories about Allura and the paladins. Fortunately, Romelle doesn’t pick up on Azure’s mood change.

“Princess Allura was my best friend, you see,” Romelle explains, motioning to the meadow in front of them. “She had to go away one day, so now I help take care of her flowers.”

“She became stars,” Azure mumbles, glancing down at her sandals with a distant look on her face, hugging her lion doll tightly. “Daddy told me she was brave and saved the whole universe.”

“She was very brave,” Romelle replies, and her expression softens. She glances up at Lance and meets his eyes. “We were sad when she became stars, and I still miss her dearly. But we celebrate her with a field of her favorite flowers.”

“June-berries,” Azure interrupts, sharply. “Papa grew them because he was sad.”

Romelle looks a bit taken aback but keeps her smile. “Well, you certainly know a lot about this, don’t you?”

Lance leans forward and puts his hands on Azure’s shoulders. “That’s because Allura is Azure’s favorite paladin. Right, birdie?”

“No, she’s not,” Azure grumbles, turning her head away and crossing her arms over her chest. “I _hate_ Auntie Allura.”

Romelle gasps at the outburst and Lance falters a moment, not sure he heard her correctly.

“Azure!” he hisses, lowering down to one knee and turning her around to face him. “Who taught you that word?”

“I dunno,” she answers quietly, her brows still furrowed. She’s not meeting his eyes, so she knows she’s in trouble. After another moment of silence, she confesses. “Nadia told me it’s what you say when you really, _really_ don’t like something.”

Lance groans. Typical older cousins.

“That’s an awful thing to say about someone, especially somebody’s friend,” he scolds, tilting her chin to meet his eyes. “You _will_ apologize to Romelle right now. Understood?”

He spins Azure around so she’s facing Romelle. Azure’s brows crease as her eyes squint at the summer sun. Her sunhat obscures her face when she looks down at her feet and mumbles. “...sorry.”

Azure extracts herself from Lance’s grasp and runs to the other side of the path to sit at the edge near the fence, watching the meadow. Flopping down, she hunches over to make herself smaller. Kosmo stands up and slowly pads his way over to sit beside her.

“Sorry Rom, I don’t know where that came from,” Lance admits, scratching the back of his head. He watches as Azure tucks her legs under her sundress, pulling her knees up to her chest. “She’s usually so friendly and easy-going, but today she’s being a little difficult.”

“It’s alright, Lance. It’s how toddlers are sometimes, no harm done. She’s a cutie-pie, though,” Romelle says, waving it off with ease. “Is Keith with you today, too?”

Ah, it figures she would think they were all a unit. Lance doesn’t have the emotional energy to explain their complicated dynamic. 

“Um, no he’s not,” he replies uncomfortably, turning back to her and shoving his hands in his pockets. “He’s on a mission with the Blade.”

Her eyes widened. “Oh, _that_ I do know about. I saw the search and rescue call come through the Alliance channels for Altea this morning. I didn’t realize that was Keith they were extracting.” 

“And Shiro, Krolia, Kolivan and Acxa.”

“Quick-nack, that’s a list.” Romelle bites her thumbnail, the same nervous tick he remembers from the ATLAS. “Are you worried?”

“He’s Keith.” Lance gives a half-shrug, knowing there’s not much more he can offer. “Have you ever seen anything that could take him out?”

“Fair enough.” She nods, glancing over to where Azure is still sitting on the ground. “Well, it could be that she senses something is going on and is frightened. I don’t have children of my own, but they're usually more attuned than we give them credit for. If she’s anything like Keith, it may be difficult for her to express her fear.”

Lance studies Azure holding Blue in her hands as Kosmo nudges the side of her face with the affection only the over-sized wolf can accomplish. 

This is _exactly_ why he wanted to leave her with his mother. At least there they could have shielded Azure from the situation with Keith. If he was on the mission with Veronica, Azure would be none the wiser. All Lance is probably doing is stressing her out and making her more anxious. 

One of the Altean students calls out for Romelle from the meadow, and she throws him an apologetic half-smile. “I should make sure the students don’t get themselves into trouble. Feel free to find me if you need any help navigating the field, alright?”

“Sure, I'll see you later.” Lance waves goodbye and reaches a shaky hand into his pocket to pull out a stick of gum. He turns to where Azure and Kosmo are sitting. 

Azure is naturally intuitive, so Romelle is probably right. Still, he's not letting his daughter sulk alone all day. A quick snap of his gum between his teeth and he slowly makes his way to the edge of the path.

His looming shadow is enough to signal to Azure he’s there. She burrows herself deeper into her knees, her hat covering her face. In her hands, she pets Blue’s fur in an anxious fidget. Not knowing what else to do, Lance drops down to take a seat next to her. He groans, his sore joints not adjusting well to the hard ground of the path. 

One of Kosmo’s large paws dangles off the edge of the wooden path, the blue fur drowning in the sea of pink. As usual, the cosmic wolf still doesn't have anything insightful to share.

“Birdie?” Lance finally asks, and Azure ignores him. She's staring out at the meadow as if it’s hypnotized her. 

Lance snaps his gum, giving her another tick to respond. When she still doesn't answer him, he reaches behind her head to gently tug the end of the fishtail braid he tied for her this morning. It’s not enough to hurt, but he can tell it’s annoying. Eventually, she huffs overdramatically.

“Papa, _stop!_ ” Azure whines, shaking her head to free herself from his teasing.

“Oh, so her majesty can speak?” Lance remarks, poking at her arm to get her attention. At least if he’s bugging her, she’s talking to him. “What’s going on? This isn’t like you.”

She doesn’t even look up, continuing to curl around Blue and lean her forehead against her knees like she didn’t even hear him. Lance knows when he’s being ignored versus when he hasn’t been heard. But nonetheless, his voice is just as gentle as he asks, “Are you all right?”

Azure's hand stops moving across the toy’s soft fur, and she stills. Then her fingers curl into a fist around where the lion bandages still cover her palms. Kosmo gives Azure a lazy headbutt before disappearing with a crackle. Lance doesn’t know why he’s surprised, Kosmo always seems to leave when things get rough.

They sit together in silence, and it makes Lance more worried. What if it’s not Keith, but Lance she’s upset about? He thought they’d made progress in their estranged relationship these last few days, but maybe he was wrong. He doesn’t push but instead waits with the type of patience that is gained only through a lifetime of living with younger children until Azure caves and turns towards him.

“I wanna make my wish now,” Azure finally says and pulls Lance’s full attention to her. Her voice is the softest he’s ever heard it, but confident. “Please, Papa?”

Azure leans up to look at him, her bright blue eyes meeting his, and it’s the same fierce expression he’s seen a thousand times on Keith. It’s not the one he wore into battle, but the one he’d made when he was leading Voltron. When he had to keep them all together while floating through space, and the one that would show up in Lance’s monitor screen when he needed support. Lance isn’t sure he’ll ever get over seeing parts of each of them reflected through Azure like an echo in a canyon. 

“Sure,” Lance nods, his voice just as gentle. “What’s your wish?”

Maybe it’s his dad-brain or some sort of parental six-sense, but Lance somehow _knows_ what she’s about to ask before the words leave her lips. He still lets Azure say it. 

“I wish for you to live with me and Daddy, so we can be together all the time," she says with such certainty.

Lance’s mouth parts in shock but he remains silent. An anxious pain jolts through his chest, turning his blood to ice, reducing his lungs to dust storms, spinning, spiraling, throwing his heart into a dizzying percussion that he can barely keep up with. He feels like he’s dying.

“Okay?” Azure urges when Lance doesn’t answer her right away. She's still looking up at Lance, but her confidence has melted into a hopeful sort of hesitancy as she waits for her wish to be granted. As if Lance will pull pixie dust from his pockets and summon Keith, and the three of them would be reunited right then and there in the juniberry field. Happily ever after.

There is nothing that Lance longs for more than to be able to tell his little girl it’s possible. That Keith will come home from his mission unbroken and still be as in love with Lance as he was three years ago. That he won’t just hand her off to Keith, but join her. It’d be unfair for him to put that kind of pressure on Keith, and he’d never use their daughter as a bargaining chip for their relationship.

How he longs to go back and take a different path to make her request a reality she would never have to wish for, but that’s impossible. The remorse will eat at him every day of his life as penance. For abandoning Keith. For not being there for Azure. For breaking their family before it even got a chance to start.

Lance watches the pink petals of the juniberries floating in the summer breeze. He envies the petals, soft and lifeless, unable to feel the pain that brought them to Earth in the first place.

His heart nearly launches out of his chest when he finally speaks. “I can’t promise you that, birdie.”

Her face shutters, and regret instantly washes over Lance like the long, slow waves of a tide. Each wave is icy cold and sends shivers down his spine. 

Azure’s voice is shaky. “Why not?

He reaches out for her, resting his hand heavily on her shoulder. “Because I just can’t, okay?”

“But you promised!” Azure argues, her blue eyes lose their harshness, becoming rounder, more glossy. It’s no longer the fierce Keith-face, but the face of someone who’s been hurt. It’s Lance’s face, staring back at him, shattered like glass. Then all at once, her face buckles, her breathing stops momentarily before her lips quiver. “You said I got a wish! You crossed your heart! You promised, Papa! _You_ _promised!_ ”

“Azure, honey, calm down—”

“ _No!_ ” she screams and pulls away from him before climbing to her feet. “I _hate_ you!”

Lance freezes. He swears he feels his own heart break. His eyes jerk to Azure in time to see her eyes sparkle with unshed tears, but he’s left utterly speechless as those three words manage to shatter him. 

Then Azure turns and makes a run for it, and the shards of Lance’s heart rocket up his throat.

“Azure!” he shouts, probably louder than necessary, but he’s in full fight-or-flight mode. He reaches out to grab her, but she’s so fast his fingers barely brush the back of her dress. “Azure, stop!”

She ignores him, propelling herself as fast as her tiny legs can take her, her hat lost to the wind. In a surprising feat of dexterity, Lance catches the hat in mid-air as he sprints after her. He zigzags around guests and Altean students as Azure weaves between their legs.

_“AZURE!”_

Lance can hear his voice grow hoarse as he races down the path watching her duck underneath the wooden fence, clutching her stuffed blue lion to her chest as she leaps into the meadow of juniberries. With speed and athleticism he hasn’t tapped into since being a paladin, Lance vaults himself over the fence and lands heavily on the dirt of the field. He loses his sunglasses in the jump, falling off his face and landing somewhere beneath the pink abyss.

They’re surrounded by nearly 30-acres of juniberries that come up to his waist. The nutrients in Earth's soil allow the flowers to grow taller than on Altea, so the only hint to Azure’s location is the rustling of stems and petals. The flowers are so massive that it'd be virtually impossible to spot her over the pink petals if it weren't for his eagle eye. 

“Azure, get over here right now!” Lance calls when he sees the shift of flowers around her tiny frame.

“No!” she screams, and he follows her voice into the field. 

Lance pursues her through the maze of flowers for what feels like half an hour. Of course her boundless toddler energy means she doesn’t grow tired, and Lance becomes out of breath after chasing her around. Azure is so stubborn, she refuses to allow Lance to catch her, even though Lance is pretty sure she doesn’t have a plan outside of running away.

“Fine, stay in here then!” Lance shouts, and he sees the messy mop of Azure’s hair stop running a few yards off where the flowers are shorter. “You live in the meadow now!”

Azure pops her head up over a shorter bunch of flowers. She throws her Keith Face at him and yells, "I don’t wanna live in the mud-dow!”

“Bad girls live in the meadow!”

With another scream, she rips up a handful of flower bulbs and tries to throw them at Lance. Instead, they get caught in the crosswind and fly back in her face. It’d be funny if he wasn’t so furious at her. 

“I don’t like june-berries!” Azure yells as she rips another handful of pink flowers from the soil and throws them at Lance with both hands. She stomps her feet and kicks the dirt up, getting it all over her dress and white sandals. “I _hate_ june-berries!”

Her battle with the flowers is enough of a distraction for Lance to sneak behind her and grab her by the torso, lifting her over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry out of the flower patch.

“No!” Azure screams at the top of her lungs. She thrashes in his hold like a wild animal, but Lance is not backing down.

In four long steps, he wades through the flowers to a small clearing in the middle of the field. It’s one of the few spaces where there is grass and no flowers. There's nobody else around, and Lance isn’t sure if they’ve lucked out or if Azure’s meltdown scared the other guests away. 

“Papa! _Papa!_ ” Azure howls, pounding his back with balled-up fists. “Let me go!”

“I am not letting you go until you relax,” Lance says sternly. She’s so riled up that he can feel her start to hiccup. “Azure, you gotta calm down.”

Her thrashing stops, but she’s still hiccuping. Then it dawns on him that there could be another reason as to why she can’t calm down. 

Lance adjusts Azure so she’s no longer over his shoulder but in his arms, balanced on his hip. As he expects, her face is flushed and she’s coughing between shaky hiccups. Her quiet panic is turning into an anxiety attack. He begins to rub her back in soothing circles, shushing her softly.

“I’m m-mad,” Azure manages between her hiccups.

“You can be mad, that’s fine,” Lance assures, and she holds onto him tighter. “But you’re breathing too fast for your body to keep up. I need you to slow down. Just follow Papa, okay?”

She nods against his shoulder, and he keeps rocking her softly. Azure squeezes him like a vise. She’s trying so hard but she still can’t calm down, and it’s scary.

“In and out, okay? Just try, it’s okay,” he whispers, and he feels her breathing start to even out under his hands, her body relaxing under his touch as she starts to catch her breath. “That’s my good girl. Papa’s not going to let anything happen to you, you’re safe.”

Lance paces back and forth across the clearing as Azure hiccups into his shoulder, and he assures her that she’s doing great, wonderful, amazing. Even though she’s small, her weight is still a strain on his body, but he doesn’t care, just keeps walking back and forth even though it feels like there are knives lodged in all his joints.

Her breathing gradually slows, and Lance is relieved but so drained that he feels like he could sleep for a year. He takes a seat on the grass and lets Azure rest in his lap. Her breathing has finally evened out.

"There you go," Lance soothes, petting her forehead tenderly. "Big breaths."

Azure inhales deeply and exhales loudly, making a _pbbts_ noise with her lips. Lance smiles, coaching her through the breathwork. Growing up, Lance was the only one of his siblings who struggled with anxiety and his parents never knew what to do when he would succumb to an attack. A silver lining of his recovery is that now he can be there for Azure in a way he wished his family had been when he was young.

They sit together in silence, and it's difficult for Lance to tell if it's comfortable or if Azure is giving him the silent treatment again. Dropping her sunhat to the side, he keeps rubbing her back and easing her into a steady calmness.

He watches her face as she looks up and sees the birds arc above them. A beautiful, blue sky in contrast to the pinks that surround them in the meadow. 

“Is Daddy not coming back?” Azure finally asks in a tiny voice. Lance covers his mouth with a trembling hand in disbelief. Does she think Keith abandoned her? That Keith left her alone with her absentee father on a planet that isn’t her home?

“Of course he's coming back, birdie,” Lance replies, trying to mask his shock with an exaggerated smile. “Why would you think something like that?”

“I heard Papa and _Ah-bella_ talking about Daddy and Auntie Acxa,” Azure says, still struggling with the Spanish word. 

Damn it. He should've known better and kept that conversation in Spanish. In his eagerness, Lance had gone and spilled everything going on to his mother in English while Azure was still within earshot. 

Azure balls her fists into the skirt of her dress uncomfortably. “Is Daddy okay?”

“Azure, Daddy will be home after his mission,” Lance reiterates, trying to hide his own heartbreak from his voice. He keeps rubbing her back in soothing circles to keep his hands from fidgeting and his own anxiety from showing. “He’s going to come to pick you up, and then you won’t have to see me anymore. 'Cause you hate Papa, right?”

“I don’t hate Papa,” Azure says, jutting out her bottom lip and shaking her head. Her voice is as sad as her expression. “I didn’t mean it.”

“But you hurt Papa so much when you said that and ran away,” Lance whispers, brushing her hair out of her eyes. “I could go away if that’s what you— _OOF!_ ”

The breath rushes out of him as Azure lunges forward and hugs him so tightly it’s like she’s trying to squeeze the sadness right out of him. He freezes in place with wide eyes and raised eyebrows.

“Please don't go!" Azure begs. “I'll be a good girl for now on, I promise! I won't go to jail, or hide, or make Papa sad anymore! I don’t want Papa to leave ever again!"

She looks up at him with those big blue eyes, pleading with a quivering lip and shaking while she grabs his shirt like an anchor.

Lance is reminded of something Curtis once shared in their support group. That sometimes, a response to trauma is falling into it and continuing the vicious cycle. Others learn from it. They see the worst that life has to offer and realize what they should not be doing with their time alive.

Lance knows what it’s like to be left behind by the people he loves and to feel that he isn’t enough to make them stay. That he’s expendable, the seventh wheel. He never wants Azure to feel that she’s not important enough to stay for or come back to. If anything, she’s the most important person in the universe. Lance doesn’t even need to ask to know Keith feels the same way. She’s their bridge.

Azure buries her head in his chest, her face concealed against his shirt. “It’s okay that Papa loves Auntie Allura more than Daddy. I promise to still be good."

Her words hit him like a punch in the face. It’s the final piece of the puzzle that strikes clarity to this moment. Everything from the box of his old Voltron stuff, giving him her photo album, Azure’s moodiness, to her absolute freak out at the juniberry fields. It wasn’t just about Lance and Keith, but _everything_ to do with Lance and Allura.

“Is that what this is all about?” Lance asks, and the question is so heavy that his voice trembles with the weight of each word.

“Papa has pictures of Auntie Allura and grew june-berries for her. Papa didn’t have pictures with Daddy. Papa never came to visit.” Azure replies and slowly pushes herself from his chest, tiny fists still holding his shirt. She bows her head and glances away, unable to meet his gaze. “Daddy said Papa would come see us because he loves us but Papa never came.”

A sympathetic twang hits his heart, understanding first-hand how hard it must've been for Keith to promise something like that without any signs of life from Lance but believing in him anyway. He always saw the best in Lance and knew just how much he'd love their daughter when they reunited. Once again, a wave of affection for Keith nearly overtakes him. God, he loves that man.

“Oh Azure,” Lance sighs, his pain so genuine it burns his throat raw. “Honey, I wasn’t gone because I don’t love you.”

“Then what happened?” 

“Papa was sick for a very long time,” he says, looking down at his arms. There isn't a clear way he can explain his addiction to her, but there may be another way.

Quietly, he rolls up the left sleeve of his shirt revealing the old track marks that litter the soft skin of his inner elbow. Azure reaches out, her long fingers carefully caressing the raised skin of his scars. These are different marks than the ones that rest on his cheeks. They're self-inflicted and dark, proof of the depths that Lance had to claw his way out of and continues to live with daily through his sobriety.

Still, Azure's touch is as gentle as it was with his Altean marks. She treats these scars with reverence as if he's a precious heirloom made of glass. She rests her tiny hand over his arm, keeping him safe.

Lance catches her attention so Azure can meet his eyes. “I wish I could’ve seen you sooner, but I couldn’t until I got better.” 

“Did you need to take medicine?”

“Yeah, I take lots of medicine and go to doctors,” Lance replies, and Azure frowns, not a fan of medicine in any context. “Uncle Taki took care of me, too.”

“Like how Papa took care of me?” she asks, and Lance nods, letting her go and rolling his sleeve back down. Azure tilts her head back, looking at the sky thoughtfully. “That’s good. I’m happy Papa’s better even if you gotta take medicine.”

It's enough to almost make him laugh. Azure’s compassion shining through from him needing to take his meds every morning is truly the sympathy of a toddler. In her universe, there is no greater punishment.

“I loved Auntie Allura. She was my friend and taught me how to be selfless," Lance explains, hoping his honesty is evident in his voice. "I miss her a lot, and she’ll always be important to me, but it’s nothing like how I feel for Daddy.” 

“Do you love Daddy?” Azure asks, her bluntness painfully familiar. 

This isn't the first time someone has asked Lance if his complicated feelings surrounding Keith could be considered love, but something about the way Azure asks him makes it clear. What is the use of denying something everyone can see as plain as day? 

“I do. I love him very much,” Lance muses softly as if it's the simplest thing in the world to admit. "Daddy is the strongest person I've ever met and his heart is so big. He cares about everyone and doesn't give up on a single person. Daddy definitely never gave up on me, even when he could've. Seeing him always inspired me to be a better person. I don't think I've ever loved anyone as much as I love him because aside from being amazing, he also gave me you."

"Then why can't Papa come home with me?" Azure demands, eyes narrowing. She’s perceptive, Lance realizes. She hears what people aren’t saying. To her it must seem so frustratingly simple. People who love each other should be together. 

Lance knows he’s hurt Keith in a way that no one else has. Three years ago on the farm when he had come to say goodbye, he’d held Lance’s exhausted, strung-out body while he carried their daughter. Lance knew that was the last chance he'd be given. Even though he's ready to be with Keith, it'd be unfair for Lance to expect that Keith would give him his heart again, and he can't let Azure get her hopes up on something like that. 

"Because sometimes loving someone isn't enough," Lance admits, running a hand through her hair where her braid has fallen out. 

There isn't a better answer to her question. 

Suddenly, Azure jerks up in his arms and looks down at her hands before looking around them. “Papa, where’d Blue go?”

Lance’s eyes flicker back and forth searching around them for any sign of the blue lion in the sea of pink, but the toy is nowhere to be seen. Azure jumps from his hold, and she scurries back into the field looking around in the flowers. Lance follows, grabbing her hat and trying to retrace her steps.

"Did you find it?" Lance calls, and Azure's moppy hair pops up from the flowers, and she shakes her head before going back under the sea of pink to keep looking.

He scours the ground, pushing aside the flowers to make a path for them as Azure continues her search. 

Forty-five minutes later, Blue is still nowhere to be found, and Lance sighs in defeat. It's getting late and he doesn't want to be stuck in this field all night looking for a stuffed animal. Today has been long enough already.

“I think we need to accept that we might not be able to find Blue,” Lance finally says, feeling tired when they find a patch of shorter flowers to rest.

Azure’s eyes turn down and she shakes her head in frustration. “Blue’s gotta be here.”

She clenches her tiny fists at her sides and stares at her sandals. They're covered in a mix of dirt and pink stains from the juniberry petals. Lance makes a mental note to wash them when they get back to his parent's house.

Lance kneels so he faces her, trying to sympathize. “We can get another one before you go.”

Azure shakes her head again. “Blue’s special. There’s only one.”

Those lion plushies have been a mainstay all across Earth ever since the end of the Galra invasion. They aren’t hard to come by at all. While he understands why Azure’s upset, she’s only had the toy for a few days. It's not as if she lost Captain Taki.

“There were lots of them at the fair,” Lance corrects gently. “Maybe we can get you a Red lion.”

"But Papa won Blue for me.” Azure tugs at her dress, balling her hands into the fabric. She adds in a soft whisper, “First gift from Papa.” 

The words strike Lance where he stands. All this time he's been selfishly thinking about what it meant to him that he never got to meet Azure, that he completely ignored her feelings. 

Everything over the course of this past week has been a first for her, and for a little girl who has never met her Papa, even the chicken nuggets he made for her were special.

He figured her joyful exterior and constant smiles were how she felt all the time, and the few times she's been sad or scared were unusual. But she may have been sad her whole life missing him and only knowing about him through bedtime stories and four old photographs. It’s why Keith is so protective of her, he knows better than anyone what it’s like to have a missing piece like that after being separated from Krolia nearly his entire life.

The size of Keith's cruiser suddenly comes to mind, and Lance instantly thinks about what it must be like to grow up in such a place with no other kids. He remembers how excited Azure was to meet the other children at the lion exhibit and tag along with Nadia and Sylvio as they got into mischief around the farm. As doting a parent as Keith is, there's no way he could keep Azure company all the time.

“Azure, when Daddy would go on missions before, were you lonely?” Lance asks softly.

She curls in on herself a bit and glances down at her shoes, hugging her arms tight. Then she nods solemnly.

“Was it fun to come to Earth with Papa?”

Azure’s head shoots up and she nods again, eagerly. Her eyes sparkle with hope, and her lips quiver slightly. Lance wonders if she's holding back her tears again.

All Lance has ever wanted to be in his life was a hero. It’s why he joined the Garrison and became a paladin. It’s why he shielded Coran from an explosion, piloted the Red Lion when Keith needed him to, and gave his life to protect Allura. 

During the battle to liberate Earth, when Red wouldn’t connect with his thoughts, Lance wondered if he’d been found out. That all of it was a cosmic mistake and he was finally going to get his comeuppance. While he had covered Veronica in the dirt and hopelessly shot at Sendak’s fighter jets, he’d closed his eyes and was ready to be proven right — that he was never meant to be a hero.

At that moment, Red had appeared and roared for him in the same way it did when he was first summoned to it. Lance had been called on to defend the universe then, and right now, with Azure in front of him, he’s being called on again. 

After they lost the lions, Lance hadn’t recognized himself without the title Defender of the Universe. But that isn’t who he is anymore; he’s been handed a new mission. He’s not a paladin, he’s a father to a little girl who loves lions, blueberry pancakes and adventures. He’s Azure’s Papa and it’s the most important title he’s ever held.

It’s time for him to own it.

“Azure, would it be all right if I keep taking care of you? I’ve been a bad Papa for a long time, but I’ll do my best from now on,” Lance’s voice trembles through the words. He doesn't need to be with Keith to parent Azure. They could rebuild a relationship and co-parent. They will figure it out, they always do. “So, would that be alright if Daddy and I both took care of you for now on? Even if we’re not together?”

He tries to inhale but chokes, throat swelling from the panic of ever losing Azure. There's so much more he wants to be for her than a picture in a photo album.

Azure nods. “I want Papa to be with me. I want Daddy to be with me, too.”

Lance’s breath leaves him in a sob of relief. “Then we will,” he vows, taking hold of her hands. “I’ll never leave you again, Azure. I swear it."

“That makes me happy,” Azure replies, but pulls her hands away and looks down at her sandals. “But I lost Blue, so I’m sad, too."

"It's okay to be sad."

“Daddy said if I won’t cry for Daddy, then I can cry for Papa.”

Lance tries to stifle himself, but he can feel the pain crack his chest apart like an open wound. He’s bleeding out in the middle of the field. Still, he nods with determination. “You can always cry for Papa.”

“Okay.” Azure is shaking, hugging herself, and asks, “Papa, is it okay not to be brave anymore?”

He thinks of the pinky-swear she made with Keith before they left for Earth. She promised him she'd be brave and she doesn't want to break her promise. Right now, she needs permission. Reassurance. Stability.

She needs her Papa.

“Yeah. Yeah, it’s okay, c’mere.” Lance's voice cracks, and he opens his arms to their full wing-span allowing Azure to stumble into his embrace. He holds her close, burying his nose in her hair as she lets it all out and bursts into tears. Her tiny body shakes, finally letting go after holding back for so long.

When Azure cries, there’s a rawness to it. Tears stream down her face like water flowing through the drains. Her nose runs with snot, staining his shirt. She shakes with it, wailing loudly in a cathartic release.

“Don’t be scared, Azure. I’m here," Lance promises between his own tearful hiccups. 

Lance can't stop crying either, his body wracking with sobs as they hold onto each other like one of them may float away if either let go. Neither will, but Azure’s embrace tightens.

“I love you, Papa,” Azure sniffles, looking up. The tears are still flowing down her face. She says it like it's a prayer, a desperate plea, and a demand all in one. 

“I love you too, Azure. I'll never stop," Lance vows, gently holding her chubby cheeks between his hands and wiping her tears with his thumbs. They leave a streak against her cheekbones like his Altean marks. “No matter where we are, never forget how much Papa loves you.”

Azure nods, and he pulls her tightly against his chest. She rests her ear against his chest where she can hear his heartbeat.

Lance didn't turn to drugs and alcohol because he was a veteran in a violent war or lost his girlfriend at the end of it. It was to numb his feelings, his trauma encouraging him to stay locked in those self-destructive patterns. 

And like a boulder tossed in a stream, Keith changed the pattern of Lance's life. It started with him dropping out and opening up a fighter class position at the Garrison, then leading them to the Blue Lion in the desert, and finally leaving the Red Lion in his hands. Now, Azure is here to shake him from his struggle. In her eyes, he sees that he is worthy of loving and being loved. He sees in her that he's someone who deserves a shot at the family he wants and Keith's heart. 

In fact, if he had the choice between saving his relationship with Keith and having a family or saving the world, he knows that Azure is the world worth saving. She's the best of both of them, and their happiness, hope, and heart. She's worth fighting for, and Keith is worth taking the leap with. He loves them both, and they both deserve to know that every day for the rest of their lives.

A strong gust of wind flows around them, and he feels the gentle pressure of a sturdy hand on his shoulder. 

Logically, it could be Romelle or one of the students, but instinctively he knows it's not. Lance knows, just like he knew how to fly Blue when she whispered through his mind or when Red first called for him to take care of Keith and the same sturdy hand told him, " _Go_."

It's the same hand that held his shoulder when he broke down in tears after he couldn't help Shiro and the same hand that let his go when she walked into the light to give the universe a second chance.

"Allura," he whispers to himself.

She doesn't have a physical form anymore, but he _feels_ her through their paladin bond. As if she's picked up the other end of the telephone attached to his heart. It's the same link Blue had used to say goodbye.

_"You've brought a new light into this world I left for you."_

The breeze circles Azure, tickling her cheeks and drying her tears. She rubs her eyes, sniffling against Lance's shirt. He holds her close, the petals of the juniberries surrounding them like a whirlwind.

_"Oh Little Starlight, you're as stubborn as Keith with a heart as sensitive as Lance. I'm so sorry to make you cry."_

When the petals dance around them in the breeze, Azure extends her hand out to reach for them. Her shaky sniffles shift into giggles. Lance can only watch in awe, feeling how much Allura adores Azure — just like he knew she would.

_"I do hope I can change your mind on juniberries, though."_

The field rises in the breeze in a way that pulls Lance's attention. It looks like a dawn-tinted duvet that is rumpled in all the right ways, so carefree rather than pulled straight. The petals tuft and wave like an ocean on a sunny, windswept day. 

_"Now, let Auntie Allura help."_

He watches the pink hues as they deepen and lighten in the sun-rays. 

"Papa, look!" Azure gasps, pointing at the meadow. The wind blows through, effortlessly parting the flowers like a path. It reveals the land in a steep decline, and at the bottom sits a blue stuffed lion. "It’s Blue!"

Azure jumps from Lance's hold, and dashes through the clearing to cradle the plushie gently in her arms. The toy's lower right paw has a pink stain from the juniberries, but otherwise doesn't seem any worse-for-wear.

The breeze returns, weaker than before to curl around Azure in a warm embrace.

_"Take care of them."_

And like that, the line hangs up and the bond fades once again. The wind eases allowing the flowers to flow back together. Lance wades through to where Azure is still standing in the meadow holding Blue.

"Was that Auntie Allura?" Azure asks as if she has just seen Allura stroll through the flowers. 

Lance’s heart skips a beat, unsure of how to explain the complex mental bonds between the paladins and their lions. That's not the sort of thing they cover in parenting books. 

"It was," he confirms honestly, crouching down so they're eye-level. "When Auntie Allura became stars, she became a little bit of everything."

"I dunno if I like june-berries, but I like Auntie Allura," Azure hums, petting the soft fur of her plushie. She looks up at Lance with a toothy grin. "I promised her I'll take care of my Daddies, cause you always got into trouble."

Lance shakes his head with a chuckle. "Classic, Allura."

Azure laughs and latches onto Lance's neck and he lifts her up from the flowers. He hears their names being called by Romelle at the gate, most likely worried about them being out in the middle of the field for so long. He waves to her, signaling that they're fine.

"Y'know what? I'm over these flowers," Lance announces, tilting his head to the side and placing Azure's sunhat back on her head. "Wanna get some ice cream?"

"Yeah!" Azure cheers.

There's a blue crackle and Kosmo jumps through his teleport. He sits politely at Lance's side, like the most well-behaved cosmic space wolf to ever grace the lands.

"And where were you when we were trying to find a lost toy, huh?" Lance scolds, wagging a finger in disappointment. "Could've really used that nose of yours!"

Kosmo yawns, stretching out before standing up to walk alongside them. Obviously, he is impartial to the bonding moment that just occurred.

Lance huffs, puffing his cheeks out in frustration. "Kosmo probably just heard ice cream and came back looking for food.”

Azure laughs again, and as he walks he feels a shift occur, like a piece inside his heart has clicked into place. Quiet confidence flares up in his chest, warming him from the inside and fueling him. It reminds him of flying.

"Hey, birdie — did Daddy ever tell you about the time Uncle Hunk and I saved a whole planet of mermaids?"

"Papa met _mermaids_?" Azure gasps, truly stunned by this revelation, and bounces in his arms with excitement. "Tell me! Tell me!"

Lance laughs heartily as they make their way to the ice cream stand alongside the field. 

"Alright, so it all started when Daddy was being a dummy and tried to fight Zarkon all by himself and had to get his butt saved by Uncle Taki, but then we were all thrown through a wormhole Auntie Allura made…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, you made it! How's it going? Are you feeling a lot? I'd apologize, but I'm not THAT sorry. ;)
> 
> A whole bunch of Clannad fans just got a reference they did NOT ask for, but nonetheless will suffer through again. If you haven't watched that anime, it's great if you like to be sad for a decade afterwards.
> 
> This chapter is ultra special to me as it's the scene that made me want to write this entire story. It basically started as a late-night joke text after I came up with the concept and was like, "Remember that sunflower scene in Clannad? What if that but an entire post canon kl fic..." and it snowballed from there.
> 
> Massive kudos to my superstar beta VioletFoxTales! I really couldn't have made it this far without her steady guidance. 
> 
> The next update will be the FINAL one and will include the last chapter and the epilogue. I don't have the words to express how much I appreciate everyone for sticking along for the ride. This fic has been a highlight of my fandom career, and I owe it all to you! 
> 
> Now, you get your happy ending. Prepare for the fluff!
> 
> Next chapter - Lance and Keith reunite!


	14. Hearts Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Against the shell of his ear, a voice he hasn’t heard in years whispers, “Are you ready, Keith?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big shout out to VioletFoxTales - together we broke Google Docs. Can you believe our power? 
> 
> Enjoy the fluffy sap I promised!

Keith only half remembers how they got off Luxuria. After making contact with Pidge, the wind outside died down as the electromagnetic storm waned to the point that the Alliance could track them and get to their location. 

All they had to do was stay put a few vargas until they were rescued but that’s also when Keith’s health decided to nosedive. It started with dizziness, and then something hot seared through his shoulder. Keith went down with a yelp, and Krolia and Shiro were quickly at his side. His consciousness flickered like a dim light bulb, barely making out the words spoken around him. 

He was unsure if it was a tick or vargas later, but there was an explosion that shook the shelter. Keith tried to reach for the blade that was no longer on his person, but a hand stopped him.

“Keith, don’t move. You’ve re-opened your wound,” his mother ordered in her collected voice of authority, and he fell back into her lap. There was so much commotion that he started to become overwhelmed.

His mother ran a shaky hand through his hair, and it occurred to him that she'd been more worried about him than she let on. It was surprisingly tender, another one of the ways her hard edges had softened over time. 

"Boss!" Ezor had cried in a surprising amount of emotion when she saw the shoddy shape he was in on the floor. She turned to someone Keith couldn't see in all the commotion. "Hey, Glasses! We need help!"

The sound of boots and a familiar orange uniform came into view. The soldier wore a mask covering their face, but Keith recognized the insignia on their uniform as a Garrison medic.

Once it was confirmed that Keith wasn't concussed or suffering any other head trauma, they took an oxygen mask from their pack and pressed it against his face. He'd been through enough training to know the laughing gas was meant to knock him out while they transported him to the ship to keep him from thrashing around.

Keith was just about to go under when another Garrison soldier rushed to his side. He caught a glimpse of the blue eyes through the shield of their mask.

“Lance?” Keith grunted, but the person didn't reply, too busy calling in his condition to someone on the other end of their comms. 

There was too much stimulation around him that he couldn't keep up. Keith’s eyes lulled shut as his need to pass out swept through him. His brain muddled over the words spoken around him before his mind slipped into unconsciousness.

* * *

Bright, white light pierces through his eyelids. This is what wakes him up, more than the whooshing sounds of the ocean waves. Keith blinks, bringing one hand up to shield his eyes from the sunlight directly above him. Even when he sits up to try to shield his face, he can’t appreciate the sky from where the sun is blinding him. It’s much too bright.

Around him, Keith sees Pidge, Hunk, and Shiro. They’re all going about their day at the beach, not reacting to Keith’s presence. Next to his brother sits a man he doesn't recognize, but Keith knows it’s not Adam. Pidge and Hunk are shoulder-to-shoulder, stacking the warm sand into an elaborate castle.

Down by the water’s edge, there’s splashing and childish laughter. Keith can’t see where it’s coming from but he _knows_ the voices in an intensely familiar way, and Keith is overcome with primal intuition. He’ll always recognize his daughter’s voice. 

He can’t see Azure from his location on the beach, but knowing she’s nearby is enough to ease his panic. Instinctively, he also knows she’s not alone. 

Keith glances up to see seagulls bob across the ocean waves, trying to make sense of who Azure is playing with. A glint of gold catches his eye as he lowers his hand back to his lap, a gold band glistens on his ring finger. Instead of panic, it brings him a wave of calm security.

Stability.

Then there’s a warm pressure as someone pushes their back against his. The sensation is comfortable. He knows this person, even though he can’t see them. They tilt their head back, to rest against his neck and shoulder. Long strands of soft, silver hair flow over his shoulder like the tail of a comet. The curls tickle his skin.

Against the shell of his ear, a voice he hasn’t heard in years whispers, “Are you ready, Keith?”

Her voice is soft but bounces around his soul like an echo, and Keith fights the urge to turn around. Keith knows if he sees her face and falls into the impossible depth to her irises, the tidal wave of grief will overwhelm him. 

He remembers how her eyes used to sparkle when she would explain the unexplainable or scold him for fighting with Lance. The way her brows would arch with skepticism when Shiro or Pidge would explain an Earth custom that had no Altean translation. The snicker she’d hide behind her hand when she’d found one of Hunk’s stories particularly amusing. 

After so many years of living with the envy he felt towards her relationship with Lance, Keith sometimes forgets how much he still grieves the loss of one of his dearest friends. He misses her so much.

One glance at his side and he spots a dainty, dark hand with flecks of pink freckles around her knuckles. Nails perfectly manicured, as would be expected of a princess. 

Tentatively, Keith pulls his right hand gingerly away from his side and rests it on top of hers. She slowly spreads his fingers threading their fingers together tightly. It takes Keith back to when they were floating in space together after their escape pod exploded. 

There’s a frantic buzzing underneath his skin now like his body is trying to escape from itself but it doesn’t have anywhere to go. If he’s with her, does that mean he's...

“Allura...am I...” Keith tries to ask, willing his voice not to break. 

An adrenaline rush forces him frantically away from the realization he can’t have because leaving Azure is unfathomable. Allura must feel his trembling as she tightens her grip on his hand. 

To his relief, she shakes her head. Keith takes a deep, shuddering breath to soothe the burn in his chest, but a pained, helpless sob still escapes. Even if he's not dead, the risk of leaving Azure alone is enough to destroy him.

Allura repeats, “Are you ready, Keith?”

He doesn’t know how to answer her, and Allura hums distantly.

* * *

Keith wakes slowly—uncomfortably. It smells like antiseptic wipes, and harsh fluorescent lights burn his eyelids. Pulsing beeps rings from several machines he’s tethered to, and it doesn’t take long for him to recognize he’s in a hospital.

Something touches his thigh softly. “Keith?”

He blinks his eyes open. The first sights are the smooth purple walls with pink accents, no windows like a typical hospital, and very different from that of Earth. He’s in the medbay on his ship.

Keith slides his gaze over. Shiro leans over him, concern etched across his features although his brows ease when he meets Keith’s eyes. He turns to call out to someone outside of Keith’s line of sight. “He’s up. Can you get Krolia?”

“You got it, Tak,” Keith hears the man say and the swish of the door closing behind him.

The world around him warps like he’s looking at it from inside a fishbowl. Keith’s head still aches dully, the fuzziness leftover from the blood loss he was dealing with after the battle. He feels disoriented, a bit loopy, and exhausted beyond reason.

Keith doesn’t have a second to ask Shiro who he was speaking to before Shiro is asking, “How do you feel?”

He blinks, trying to take stock of his own body. The pain in his shoulder, his leg, his neck, his ribs still lingers, so he hasn’t been in a healing pod. 

“Like I just cheated death,” Keith croaks, alarmed at the gravel of his voice. He pushes himself into what passes for a sitting position as Shiro pushes a water pouch into his right hand, his left overly wrapped. He savors the cool wash of it down his throat. “Where are we?”

“On your cruiser heading to Earth,” Shiro replies. “The ships the Alliance sent were more for speed to get to us, so none of them have healing pods and neither does your ship. Earth is closer than Altea or Daibazaal, and once we’re there, we can get you into a pod for the rest of your injuries.”

“Do I really need a healing pod?”

There’s a knock on the door and it slides open to reveal Dr. Kor. As expected, the Galra woman is all business. She has worked with his team for years, and never once has she shown a reaction other than sanitized professionalism, regardless of how gruesome the injury. 

“Looks like you made it, Captain. Welcome back to the world of the living,” she greets in her familiar dry-tone. Her lab coat flows behind her as she grabs Keith’s digital chart from the foot of his bed.

“Was I...not living?” Keith manages to ask, his voice so hoarse he barely recognizes it.

“It wasn't a certainty, I won't lie,” she replies in the eerily collected tone, her stylus tapping on the screen. “You lost a lot of blood and we were able to treat some of your injuries. You should be able to move your right arm.”

"What about my left?"

Dr. Kor glances up at him from behind the rim of her glasses. She lowers the tablet with a heavy sigh. 

“The blaster shot to your left shoulder did far more damage than we originally thought," she explains. "None of the shots pierced vital organs or major blood vessels, but you did sustain substantial damage to your brachial plexus. We must get you to a healing pod to avoid any further loss of motor function.”

He looks down at his arm and tries to flex his hand, but can’t even make a fist. When he looks up, he sees the panic settling in Shiro’s eyes. “Keith, you’re going to be alright, okay? We’re almost to Earth.”

Keith shakes his head, grimacing. “Why does my head feel heavy?”

“You’re on painkillers,” Dr. Kor says, reviewing his chart again and her eyebrows shoot over her glasses. “A _lot_ of painkillers. They’re probably wearing off, but I’ll have them adjust the dosage. The staff always seems to forget that you and Azure aren’t fully Galra.”

“Thanks.”

She nods and places the tablet with his chart back at the foot of his bed, both hands in her pockets. “You’re lucky, all things considered. The shot just missed your subclavian artery. If that got hit, you would’ve lost your arm entirely. That is if you didn't bleed out first.”

"Is that supposed to be good news?"

"Better than the alternative." She shrugs. That’s the closest thing he gets to a goodbye as Dr. Kor turns to leave the room, the door sliding closed behind her. 

Keith rolls his head to look at Shiro. “How long was I out?”

“About five hours,” Shiro says, sitting back slightly. “But when the rescue team came, you were barely conscious. You passed out just as Veronica and the medic got to you.”

Keith remembers the eyes of the person before he blacked out. “Veronica? Does that mean Lance…”

“He’s still on Earth with Azure,” Shiro says softly. 

Panic flashes through Keith. “Does she know—”

“No, no, no,” Shiro assures him, shaking his head. “Veronica says they kept the situation quiet not wanting to scare her. It’s why Lance stayed behind. Kosmo’s there too.”

“Right. Makes sense,” Keith says, more relieved than he thought.

He doesn’t know why he’s jealous that Shiro and Acxa were rescued by their partners. If it came down to it, staying with Azure was more important than joining the dangerous mission. Even if Keith’s feelings are hurt, the last thing he’d want is for Azure to lose both of them on a mission. Still, it would’ve been nice to see him.

“You look like crap, by the way,” Keith says turning back to Shiro. “Gonna get wrinkles soon, old man.”

Shiro chokes on a laugh. “You say that as if you aren’t the cause of most of them.”

“Wait ‘til you have kids. It gets worse,” Keith says. “Have you slept at all?”

“Not much,” he admits.

“Get some rest in the guest quarters,” Keith orders, voice cracking a little from disuse. “And go spend time with your boyfriend who flew himself all the way out here just to save your dumb ass.”

Shiro sits up from his slump looking prickly. “Curtis is not my boyfriend!”

“Sure, _Tak_.” He chuckles only to cough and wince around the sharp pain that pierces his side. “Guess my ribs are still broken.”

Shiro stands up with a sigh. “Krolia is on her way here, but I wanted to drop off your comm. It blew up with messages when you got a full signal. Most are from the Garrison and your ship, but a few...well.”

He drops the phone on Keith’s lap, and instantly he sees the name that blinks across the screen: **Lance**.

“Give them a listen if you’re feeling up to it.”

Keith watches Shiro leave the room, and looks down at his phone. He thumbs through the messages until he hits the ones left by Lance and adjusts the receiver so it’s squeezed between his ear and the pillow.

A beep and the message starts.

_“Hey Keith, it’s Lance. I have absolutely no idea if you’ll get this because according to the Garrison, you were taken out by a bunch of racist, space furries, and if that sounds insane, then good, it means I’m right, and you’re not dead.”_

Keith's heart sinks at the desperate tone of Lance’s voice. There is some more babbling as Lance tells him how he’s brought Azure to his parents' house in Cuba. It’s nice to hear about Azure finally meeting more of her family.

He remembers the times he would visit Lance at his parent’s farm between his early Blade missions and how there were always so many people stampeding in and out of the old farmhouse.

One time he came right after a particularly rough mission and collapsed on the floral sofa in the living room. He didn’t realize how beat up he was until he woke up hours later with an old quilt tucked around his legs and Lance asleep on his shoulder. He wonders if Azure used that same blanket with its hundreds of patches stitched together, marveling at all the different shades of blue in a quilt that was made with an incredible amount of love.

Allowing himself to think about it brings him a wistful sort of comfort.

He can hear the way Lance’s voice trembles around his words. _“God, Keith. I really hope I’m right. There were so many things I had planned to tell you when I went to Daibazzal with Shiro. Of course, I wanted to apologize for everything I put you through. I should never have left you alone on Altea. Even if I was terrified, I should’ve trusted that we could’ve figured it out together. That being scared didn’t mean I couldn’t try. I’ve always felt my strongest when I am with you.”_

“I did too,” Keith whispers to no one and to Lance at the same time.

_“That’s all I got so just...call me back, okay?”_

The voicemail ends with a click, and the automated voice replies. “ _Message saved. Next message_.”

Other messages are from Pidge, Ezor, and Zethrid. A few are from the Garrison and there’s a spam call informing him that the insurance is expired on a car he doesn't own.

Another ding and Keith already recognizes the number as Lance’s before the voice-message even starts. “ _Keith, it's me. For probably the umpteenth time._ ” 

Keith rolls his eyes. Lance left at least seven missed calls on his log and several texts. He always was persistent.

_“I'm sure you're rolling your eyes at how obnoxious I am for leaving you so many messages.”_

“Damn it, Lance,” he smiles, unable to hide his affection at being known so well.

“ _I’ve never told anyone this, but when I was in rehab, one of the exercises was to picture what we wanted most. Something that wasn’t drugs or alcohol. We would meditate, and for that entire first week, I couldn’t focus. I was so sick from withdrawal, and my confidence was shot.”_

Keith pictures Lance's face as he listens, his emotions always clear and expressive. The power of his eyes. Those eyes soften and with just one look, he tears down walls Keith has spent his entire life building through a vicious cycle of abandonment and nightmares, and lonely memories. The blueness of those eyes is vibrant like a summer sky in warmth, love, and that essential thing about sunshine that will make people wither away and die if they do not get enough of it. The same eyes their daughter inherited.

They both survived a war and Lance fought a second one on Earth as he battled addiction. That’s the very reason why they shine with so much passion and love; it is from feeling so much, too much, that he had to make the choice whether to die out like a flame in a dark room or burn bright enough to consume his cage with light.

“ _But then, I let go. I stopped trying to force a picture to appear, and when I did, what I saw was you, Keith. It was you sitting on top of this hill, overlooking the Caribbean Sea. Always there waiting for me to catch up. It ignited a fire that burned in my soul, the same feeling I thought was a rivalry when we were at the Garrison, but then I figured it was only admiration when we were paladins. Both of those were wrong.”_ he continues, voice softening _. “It was love, Keith. It’s always been love_. _You shine so brightly, that falling for you is like falling in love with the sun itself._ ” 

The air is ripped right from Keith’s lungs, physically shocked that Lance was able to confess his love so bluntly and with such ease. Even through a voicemail, tension is hanging in the air between them, pushing up against a wall that he knows Lance will tear down with his bare hands the second Keith lets him. 

It’s clear that Lance was a man adrift three years ago, but now he's opening the door to something Keith has only been dreaming of. Even if Lance is in over his head, Keith knows that without the shadow of a doubt that Azure has both of them wrapped around her finger and holds their entire hearts in her hands. 

Something else Keith knows without the shadow of a doubt? He’s in possession of the world’s greatest treasure, and that is every last ounce of love that Lance’s bruised and bloody heart has left to give. After years of dreaming of the possible what-ifs, he has a raging aspiration to finally make those daydreams a reality.

Keith isn't sure exactly when, in all of their history, he fell in love with Lance. Can someone really pin down something as intangible as love?

He thinks back to that fateful night on Arus, what may have been the moment that changed Lance in his eyes. There's the fact that he almost died in Keith's arms. There was the heat in his eyes as he met Keith's gaze and the tired twitch in his hand muscles as he clasped Keith's hand in his own, and the way he still held it tight even as he began to faint, collapsed into Keith’s embrace and at that moment he transcended everything he thought he understood about Lance.

The way Lance continued to hang on to him for as long as he was conscious. As if he was asking Keith not to let him go — and Keith never did. Not on Arus, and not on Thayserix when Lance kept him in check as a leader, or even on Earth when Keith stepped back for Lance to pursue Allura, or on Altea when Lance left Keith alone. A part of Keith still feels like he's sitting there with Lance's hand in his every time he thinks of him. 

“ _Now I see Azure and she’s the best of both of us.”_ Keith hears a rueful laugh bubbles up in Lance’s throat and then fades again _. “We did that, can you believe it?_ ” 

Sleep starts to pull him under and his breathing slows to the tide of Lance’s voice as he gifts him a few more parting words that he doesn’t quite hear.

“ _I want to be a family. I’m ready. Azure needs both of us, and I need you too._ ”

For the life of him, Keith can't seem to understand why he’s been so scared when Lance sounds so filled with hope. Over the last three years, in moments of sentimental weakness, he’s imagined what it’d be like to fall in love and luck out with some kind of storybook happy ending. That can be a reality.

“ _I love you, Keith.”_

"I love you, Lance..."

 _“Now come back to us_ ”

* * *

Keith opens his eyes and sees palm trees swaying in the wind above him. He’s sprawled on his back on warm sand as familiar voices echo around him. Sitting up, he gazes across the expanse of the sand and finds that it’s the same beach from his earlier dream. 

He climbs to his feet, standing in the sand with bare feet and treks down the shore, hair flying wild with his chin tucked against the wind. He checks his wrists for a hair-tie but comes up short.

“Daddy!”

Keith turns and sees Azure barreling toward him. He picks her up easily, resting her on his hip. She's wearing a pink bathing suit and has orange, plastic floaties on both arms. Peak beach apparel.

He presses a kiss to her forehead, and it leaves the taste of sunscreen on his lips. She giggles, pressing her lips against his cheek to blow a raspberry against his skin. He loves the feeling of holding Azure in his arms. It’s been just the two of them for so long, he doesn’t ever want to know a world without her.

"I wanna swim in the ocean!" Azure announces, pointing to the sea before pouting. "But Papa says I can't go alone."

“Papa?” Keith's voice cracks and a laugh like a wind chime gets his attention. 

Lance makes his way over to them, sloshing through the waves as he wades through the water. Keith wants to commit this moment to memory, never forgetting the gentle arch of Lance’s grin, the sparkle in his eyes. 

"That's cause you'll get pulled away, birdie," Lance teases when he reaches them. He taps Azure's nose playfully with his finger before turning his smile on Keith. He’s vaguely aware of the fact his entire body feels as hot as molten lava but ignores it. It’s the sun’s fault. Probably. "But if Daddy comes too, we can both keep you safe."

Azure beams and turns to Keith. "Come with us, Daddy!"

"Yeah, come with us," Lance laughs, and extends his free hand for Keith to take. A flash of gold shimmers on his ring finger. His smile is lopsided, and oh so cute, and Keith’s heart pounds away in his chest.

Keith hears the phantom voice calling to them again from the shore. He turns around and finds Allura standing at the shoreline. Dressed in her own beach attire, her sheer blue skirt flows in the wind. Her hair is longer than he remembers, tied back but still falling over her shoulders in silvery curls. On her forehead sits the crown she had lost when she saved Shiro, and her face looks youthful but also older than she was when she had left them behind to mend reality.

She looks serene as she asks him one more time, “Are you ready, Keith?”

On his hip, Azure reaches up and places a small hand on the scar on his cheek to gain his attention. “Can we go, Daddy?”

The waves wash between them, and Lance's hand and his own finally touch, fingers lacing together, twin golden rings glittering in the sunlight. Lance’s smile widens, crinkling his marks. “Brave together?”

Keith squeezes his hand and nods. He grins impossibly wider until his cheeks ache from the strain of it. “Brave together.”

Azure squeals with excitement, hugging Keith’s neck tightly as he allows Lance to lead them into the ocean together.

* * *

The next time Keith wakes up, it hurts less, and his head feels a lot clearer, free of the uncomfortable haze of painkillers. Keith blinks his eyes open. The illusion of the beach melts away at the first sight of smooth white walls and orange accents. A window opens and the unmistakable smell of Earth hits his senses.

“Can you sense people’s eyes on you even when you’re asleep?” 

Keith sits up with a start at the voice and then groans when the room starts spinning. The pain in his side is gone, and while his head still aches dully, it's more the fuzziness of a long time spent sleeping. He feels the way he’s become accustomed to after coming out of a healing pod.

He fully opens his eyes again to see Lance sitting in the chair next to his bed. Patchy scruff covers his jaw, and his long legs are shaking as his hands fidget. Still, tired amusement dances its way across Lance's face, like he’s been sitting there for far longer than he’d admit. “Sorry, didn’t mean to spook ya.”

“I’m a really light sleeper,” Keith tells him and slowly lowers himself back into the comfort of the bed, relaxing slightly. “Years of looking out for yourself will do that to a person.”

“Right,” Lance replies awkwardly, eyes shifting to the end table where a pitcher and glass sit. “Are you thirsty? Do you want some water?”

Keith nods and pushes himself back up into what passes for a more comfortable sitting position as Lance leans forward. Instead of handing the glass to Keith, he presses it up against his lips for him to drink. It’s a bit embarrassing, but the angle allows him to take in Lance’s appearance without fully staring at him.

Lance looks like he’s barely keeping himself together. His skin is pale where it is supposed to be tan, eyes wet and red where they should be dry and white. There are cracks in his foundation where he has always carried an air of steadiness. Something is threatening to break Lance again, ready to snap cleanly along the thin fractures left behind by Allura. It’s left him as fragile as shards of glass that Keith can crush in his palm. 

When he’s done drinking, Lance pulls the glass away, and Keith takes a deep breath. “Where’s Azure?”

“Outside waiting with Shiro, Veronica, and Acxa,” he replies. “Krolia and Kolivan went to Iverson’s office with Ezor and Zethrid to report what happened on Luxuria and the rescue.”

From the corner of his eye, Keith spies the shine of a gum wrapper that Lance rolls between his fingers. Lance’s anxious habits could always be caught in the way his hands were always fidgeting and his legs were always jittery because he could never sit still. Keith doesn’t need his hands to be busy nor does he have to find someone to talk to before he explodes with too much energy, but Lance still does. The familiarity is comforting in a strange way.

“Is she having a total meltdown cause she hates doctors?” Keith arches a brow with a smirk before he lets out a chuckle. “She’s a terrible patient.”

Lance laughs as well, a hand rubbing the back of his neck accompanied by a bashful smile. “Yeah, I learned that the hard way after she got atmosphere sickness. She threw up all over the doctor, and it _definitely_ seemed premeditated.”

“Ah, I should’ve warned you. It doesn’t happen to her a lot, but when it does, it’s usually a few days after landing.” Keith winces guiltily, and Lance shakes his head. “Sorry.”

“No, it’s on me. I didn’t even know that atmosphere sickness was a thing. It’s been so long since I’ve traveled myself.” Lance clenches his fist. “I should’ve called you the second it happened.”

Keith shrugs. “I’m sure you handled it.”

“I fumbled through it, but yeah. I guess I did.” Lance sighs, looking back up at Keith with tired eyes. 

“Did it happen during the banquet?” Keith slowly asks, even though he knows the answer.

Wordlessly, Lance nods and leans forward in the chair to balance his elbows on his knees as he buries his face in his hands. “I ignored your calls because I was scared to tell you how sick she got. I didn’t realize you were probably calling about the attack until Curtis told me what happened. By the time I tried to call back, your phone was already out of service.”

Lance's breath hitches and the sound halts everything inside Keith. It sounds like he’s crying. Too many people have been crying around Keith lately, and it makes him feel awkward in his own skin.

Keith leans forward, eyes more awake now. “Lance —”

He never realized just how much of Lance’s heart he still holds in his hands until Lance jerks up and pulls him against his chest. The impact knocks the air right from his lungs.

Lance’s proximity is even more overwhelming than the urge Keith has to draw air back into his lungs. He can’t tell who is shaking harder or squeezing the other tighter. Lance rests his cheek against Keith’s, speaking against his ear with honesty so raw that it’s painful to hear. “Keith, you have no idea how scared I’ve been.”

Burying his face in Lance's neck, he squeezes his eyes shut. Keith claws him closer, nails digging in because he’s waiting for something to take him away like the tide or his dreams. Lance is just as desperate to keep Keith against him, his muscles shaking under the weight of relief that comes from just hearing him breathe and knowing he’s there.

Lance’s voice is a bit raspy, probably from crying, and his words are tight like he is balancing on the edge of a breakdown. “They said you were all dead, and then they showed me this video of you getting shot on Luxuria and I told them you were alive but nobody believed me —” Stress pitches his voice higher, making it quiver. “I knew it, but also thought I could just be going crazy with denial.”

“You’ve always had good instincts,” Keith says against his shoulder, pulling back to meet his gaze. “I got all your voicemails.”

“I got yours too,” Lance grins bashfully, his eyes full of fresh tears. “I was a mess, Keith. I still am.” 

Keith realizes he’s not just talking about the last few days. 

“You’re not a mess. You’re a recovering addict and alcoholic, but at your core, you're the same Lance. Sensitive, spontaneous, _stupid_ Lance,” Keith assures, reaching out to hold his hand. “I didn’t know then, but I know now that you didn’t just go silent on me because you were over me.”

“God Keith, I couldn’t be over you if I wanted to,” Lance snorts and his crying clashes with his laughter. “Do you know how many times in rehab I went to a counselor and tried to no-homo our very homo-erotic friendship? I spent three hours trying to defend why I picked you instead of Allura in that stupid game show.”

Keith drops his hand and leans back into the pillows, eyebrow arched in curiosity. “Why _did_ you pick me?”

Lance flusters, shifting in his seat with his hands fumbling in his lap. “Uh, I don’t remember.”

“Can’t use that excuse on me twice,” Keith deadpans, and Lance starts to sweat under the attention. Keith doesn’t care, he’s waited years to learn the answer to this question. “It’s always bothered me because Allura was right there and —”

“Because I was in love with you, okay?” Lance blurts, arms flailing in the air. “And you didn’t love me back!”

Keith opens his mouth, the shout of _what_ catches on his tongue as he stares, leaving him open-mouthed and silent. Instead, he gapes at Lance like a fish floundering out of the water, and Lance stares down at him.

“How could you say that?” he finally demands.

“Because it's the truth,” Lance answers with blind certainty. “Every time we would get close, you’d push me away.”

“Name one —”

“When I took over Red and we were co-leads, you left to join the Blades,” Lance argues, holding up his index finger.

“Because there were too many pilots, and I didn’t want to be the leader!”

Lance tuts, raising a second finger. “ _And_ when you came back to the team and literally shoved me aside when I went to greet you!”

“Because we’d just found an entire colony of Alteans!” Keith tries to justify because he _needs_ Lance to know the very idea that Keith didn’t love Lance back is preposterous. 

“Okay, but what about that time we were captured and you ditched me for Acxa?” Lance holds his third finger up like he's pinned Keith with some sort of damning evidence.

“We’re both gay!” Keith roars, pointing to the door. “She’s literally dating your sister!”

“Well, sure I know that _now_ but I didn’t know that _then_ ,” Lance pouts, his cheeks blushing as the tension and embarrassment rise between them. “Whatever! It still hurt my feelings!”

“Oh my _god_ , Lance.” Keith rubs his temples. This is really the person he’d gone and fallen in love with, out of all the options he’d had?

For years, he’s worked tirelessly to cover his tracks and guard his heart to the point that it felt painfully obvious. The number of times Shiro had sent Keith a look of exasperation on the trip back to Earth alone was enough to signal to Keith that his obvious pining was maybe a little too obvious. Still, he thinks back to the bet between his generals, and how Hunk had been surprised by Azure’s paternity. Keith had really made so many assumptions, hadn’t he?

“Hey.”

He turns to see Lance staring at him again, his face serious. “If we’re going to talk about that game, then I got a question for you, too. Why did you say you didn’t want to spend eternity with me?”

Keith takes a deep breath, preparing himself to rip open an old wound. He's never told anyone this before, not even Shiro.

“Because you hate games, and I didn't want you to keep getting hurt. I thought Allura was going to pick you too, and if the both of us chose you, then you'd be able to leave,” Keith explains with a vulnerability that is painful to hear in his own ears. He remembers the quiet disappointment he felt the moment Allura's choice was revealed to be Pidge and not Lance. "When she didn’t, I was prepared to be singled out for picking you. I thought you were gonna pick Allura, so when you said me, I got defensive."

While they all were able to escape in the end, it was another example of Allura not recognizing she held Lance’s heart in the palm of her hand. Thinking back to her spirit in his memory, Keith wonders if she had done so on purpose.

“It's obviously stupid looking back. I shouldn't have said those things," Keith admits. "I'm sorry for hurting your feelings, but you literally have no idea how long I’ve loved you.”

“Keith—”

He whips his head back up, glaring at Lance through his bangs. “No, you don’t get it. I have been in-fucking-love with you since you shot Sendak and passed out in my arms and you pretended to _forget_.”

“I was in a coma!” Lance yells, enunciating every syllable of the word and making a pulling motion with his fingers. “We were together for years after that. Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“I almost did but —”

“But what?”

“But _you_ didn’t feel the same!” Keith admits finally, letting the last exhale leave his chest like an ancient breath. He's been holding it in for years and it tastes stale as it leaves. “It only would have made things more complicated. I didn’t want to make you feel like you had to choose between me or Allura, and I’d always be there for you even if it meant just as your best friend. I was okay with that, I made peace with—”

Lance’s mouth hits Keith’s like an electric shock, the bodily jolt of a defibrillator, the screaming realization that he is truly alive and this isn’t one of his dreams. He flares to life, fists twisting in Lance’s shirt to yank him closer until he’s kneeling on the bed hovering over Keith, and he licks the taste of salty tears from Lance’s lips.

The kiss builds a fire inside Keith, smothering the cold horror still heavy in his bones. Lance kisses Keith in a way that lets him feel not only the grief Lance has endured, but also an outpouring of emotions that he has not yet voiced, and Keith matches those unspoken feelings with reverence. Keith’s hands frame Lance's face, and Lance’s fingers move through his hair as their mouths meet again and again. 

Only after Lance has kissed his lips swollen does Keith allow him to pull away, just enough for Lance to stare at him with eyes that are as dazed as his voice. “I waited three years to do that.”

“I’ve waited for almost eight,” Keith counters with a wily smirk.

“Always a competition with you.” Lance catches his lips again to let him taste an aching sigh. It hazes over Keith’s thoughts, burns his blood, sinks into the depths of his chest where he thought he was empty. They part when they eventually need to breathe. “God, we’re so fucking stupid. Let’s hope shitty communication skills skip a generation for Azure’s sake.”

Lance lowers himself enough to pull Keith against his chest where it’s beating hot and hard, all for Keith.

“I’m so sorry,” Keith whispers against the skin of Lance’s neck, clinging to the sensation of his heartbeat thrumming against his mouth. He kisses Lance’s pulse point, breath leaving him in a rush. “I should have told you about Azure. I hurt you more than anyone ever could. I don’t blame you if you never truly forgive me for it, but I’ll spend the rest of my life making it right. I promise.”

“I know you will, and I will too,” Lance vows, pressing a kiss to Keith’s temple and leaning back against the pillow to smile down at him. “I’m sorry I was too afraid to face you. I wish I’d gotten to you both sooner on my own.”

"You’re here now.” Keith reaches up to frame Lance’s face, thumbing his marks with enough adoration to make him shake. “It took a while, but we did it, and it gave us Azure.”

Lance leans over to push Keith’s hair back from his face. Keith expects him to stop there, but instead, Lance continues to run his fingers through the thick black trusses of Keith’s locks, scratching at his scalp. Keith hums, eyes fluttering shut as he basks in the attention feeling safe and warm in his arms. 

“Looking back, I needed to handle my past first,” Lance admits softly. “I held a lot of trauma. Until I began that healing process, I never would have been able to recognize that I was good enough. I would have all of this and still never feel worthy of happiness.”

Keith hums, knowing all too well the feelings Lance is describing.

“I always took pride in knowing exactly who I was, but having Azure exposed so many flaws I didn’t know about myself,” Keith says. He intertwines their fingers, admiring how well they fit together. It’s not the first time he’s held Lance’s hand, but it feels like it. “All my insecurities manifested in needing to protect her in case something happened to me because I lost my Pops. I got tripped up by my own past, I guess.”

"When I see her, I see the best parts of us. The parts that got me sober and the parts that kept you alive. She’s everything I love about us in this tiny person who gets to experience the world we made." Lance swallows, his grip tightening as he gets choked up again. “I know we’ve saved the universe once, but I think Azure is our most remarkable accomplishment.” 

“Sometimes I think we saved the universe just so she could be born into it.”

Lance brushes his lips against Keith's hair, confessing so quietly Keith almost misses it. “I love you so much.”

Keith turns to gaze at him and cups Lance’s cheek. He smiles when Lance leans into the touch, the soft pastel blue of his marks glowing softly. “You said that in your voicemail, but hearing it still doesn’t feel real.”

“I’ve fallen in love with you before," Lance reminds him with a playful glint in his eyes. "I’ve been falling in love with you ever since the Garrison. I’ve done it over and over and each time I love you more.”

"I first fell in love with you on Arus," Keith admits quietly, eyes still glassy. "When you took over Red, I fell in love again, but it scared me how much someone could make me feel. Then when I came back, the wheels were in motion with you and Allura so I thought letting you go was the only way. If you were happy, I figured that would be enough. I convinced myself that I wasn't who you'd choose."

He chews his lip as he blushes, and Lance smiles helplessly as he adjusts their position so he can kiss his forehead, before pressing them together.

"I never had to choose, it was always you," Lance confesses, frustration pitching his voice as it thickens with tears. “I loved Allura, and she’s always going to mean a lot to me. But that doesn’t mean it was comparable. I've loved you for so long, it's in my bones. I couldn't tell you where it starts or where it ends. It's a part of me, too. I’ve stupidly let that feeling go because I wasn’t ready for you. But I'm never letting this feeling go again. I’m never letting _you_ go again, Keith.”

“That’s good because I’m a runner,” Keith says with a shaky laugh.

"Apparently so am I," Lance pulls back to level their gazes. "And I _am_ sorry for all the times I've made you feel like you weren't my first choice. You're more than that; you're my only choice. You made me realize how pointless it is to be stuck in the past when the future's right in front of us. We deserve to be happy, and I'll make you happy for the rest of our lives. That’s my promise to you, so now we’re even."

Keith's eyes shine with tears. "Lance…"

Lance smiles, looking so hopelessly in love. Keith has seen this face thrown in the direction of so many others, that Keith had reckoned he'd never be at the receiving end. But Keith is the only person who Lance wants, and hearing that out loud is like someone telling him that gravity doesn’t exist. It seems impossible after so many years of convincing himself otherwise. He always thought he knew better, but that wasn’t the case at all.

"I want the soft, sleepy days with you, but also annoying fights and petty bickering like this," he whispers, folding a hand over Keith's heart. "I want to teach Azure how to play the piano and ride a bike and swim in the ocean. I want you to tell her no, and then her to go to me to say yes. I want to have her back when she succeeds, but also when she fails. I want it all, the whole mess, and I want it with you, Keith. It's always been you because I love you."

"I love you, too." Keith seals their devotion with another kiss. Lance kisses him back just as eagerly, hands running lightly over Keith’s sides to try and steady him, so he doesn’t fall off the edge of the hospital bed. He holds Keith close, strong arms wrapped around him as he takes the lead in the kiss. Comfort and warmth, reassurance that Lance is right here — so impossibly close — and not going anywhere. Keith feels Lance giggle and smiles into the kiss, seeming so impossibly happy that Keith never wants to stop.

Then a loud crackle echoes in the room and Keith breaks the kiss so fast, he nearly reopens his wounds and they freeze like two deer in the path of an 80-ton semi-truck. There’s a spark of blue light, and Kosmo appears, skidding into the hospital room with Azure mounted on his back like he's a warhorse, and she’s ready to lead the cavalry.

“Azure?” Keith gasps when the wolf stops. His daughter turns when she hears her name, her face splitting into the biggest smile he’s ever seen.

“Daddy!” Azure squeals in delight and leaps off of Kosmo. Her sneakers squeak against the linoleum flooring as she dashes across the room. She’s too tiny to climb onto the bed, so she climbs up Lance’s legs like a tree. Lance helps her up onto Keith’s bed, so she can crawl forward and hug him tightly. 

“Hi, baby,” he greets, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head. “Did you break through the hospital security with Kosmo?”

“Mhm,” Azure nods, holding onto Keith’s mid-section even tighter. He can feel her tears against his hospital gown. Keith is taken aback by the sudden outburst as Azure never cries. But he allows her to let go, tears racing down her cheeks. Soothingly, he rubs small circles on her back as the guilt festers deep inside him. "I got scared."

"I'm sorry, Azure. I didn't mean to scare you," Keith assures, pulling her up so he can hold her tighter against his chest. He presses another kiss to her forehead and feels her relax in his embrace. “I got you, though. It’s okay, I’m right here.”

"And Dr. Jamie saw me so I ran away," Azure announces, turning an accusatory finger at Lance as tears drip down her chin. "No more medicine!"

Lance teasingly sticks his tongue out at her. "Not unless you get sick again."

Azure’s eyes narrow before her attention is captured by Keith's still braced shoulder. She wipes her nose on her sleeve, sniffling. "Did Daddy get hurt?"

"Yeah, but I'm okay now," Keith comforts, softly running his fingers over her forehead. It's what he’s done whenever she's gotten overwhelmed in the past. 

Azure’s still crying, but being held in his arms after being separated is calming her down. He knows better than anyone how Azure falls into the habit of comforting those around her. It’s part of her nature, and unfortunately something she’s most likely learned from watching Keith all these years.

“Geez, I can't believe you just busted in here like that.” Lance chuckles and reaches over to give Azure's leg an affectionate squeeze. “You really are a jailbird, huh?"

Even through her tears, Azure can't hide her giggles and that makes Lance laugh louder. Keith throws him a look. 

“ _Lance_.” Keith hisses with an obvious warning hidden somewhere there. They should not be encouraging their daughter to be teleporting through doors willy-nilly or confronting hospital security. 

He ignores it and takes hold of Keith's hand, kissing the tops of his knuckles. "She gets it from you, y’know."

"I doubt it." Keith sighs but knows the truth. "Something tells me you're gonna be a bad influence on us."

“Rest of your life, right here,” Lance promises, eyes sparkling from his marks. Azure pulls back enough to hold onto both of their hands, sniffling back the last of her tears.

"Papa's gotta stay with us, okay Daddy?" she instructs with her adorable seriousness. "Auntie Allura said I gots to take care of both of you." 

"She did?" Keith asks, looking between Lance and Azure slightly skeptical. Though it certainly sounds like something she would order, Azure has never met Allura. 

Suddenly, he remembers the dreams while he was slipping between consciousness.

Looking out the window of his room, he sees the summer wind kiss the tips of flowers lining the small garden outside the Garrison's hospital. It's a small addition to the memorial of those lost in the invasion, but there's a plaque recognizing Allura's heroism stuck in the ground. 

A gentle breeze flows through the open window, and a spark of emotion rushes through him. It's the lingering sensation of their paladin bond, but more of a direct line straight to Keith's heart. After all this time, Keith feels that he can finally let go of his bitter jealousy and searing guilt. So he does, and the affection that bursts through his chest is the lightest he's ever felt. Through the cracked opening of the window, pours an overwhelming feeling of forgiveness, love, and pride, seeping into his own consciousness. 

When the breeze fades, and the connection closes once again, Keith's attention is brought back to Azure. She's still holding both their hands, a bridge that reconnects them.

"What do you say, Keith?" Lance asks, blue eyes glimmering with hope. On his cheeks, his marks glow, and Keith wonders if he felt Allura too. He winks at Keith playfully and full of affection. "Looks like Azure's gonna need both her Daddies for this mission." 

Keith smiles. "Sounds like one for a lifetime."

“And we’ll _all_ take care of each other,” Lance corrects, meeting Azure’s eyes and squeezing her tiny hand. “Together.” 

“We stay together,” Azure demands, squeezing both their hands as tight as her grip will allow. “Promise?”

“Promise,” Keith and Lance say in unison. Keith tries and fails to fight back a laugh, ending up grinning like an idiot. Lance follows suit, leaning in to hug them both, and soon Azure’s crying dissolves into hesitant giggles. 

Keith can’t help it, can’t possibly fight against the strongest and most overwhelming emotion he’s ever encountered — love for his family. 

They’re finally together, and Keith isn’t letting either of them go ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it bad that I'm going to miss the notes between these chapters? It's like we all had a little club here together. All good things must come to an end, I guess!
> 
> Next chapter - the epilogue!
> 
> I love you all.


	15. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You should have another baby,” Azure said casually, looking out the window in the back booster-seat as if she were telling them something that happened at daycare that morning. “Our new house has a lot of rooms so we can fit a baby inside if they’re that little. Or it can stay with me in my room. I can move my toys.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy this happy ending!

**One Year Later**

  
  


Lance wakes up slowly to the bright rays of the morning sun and the bedroom door creaking open to reveal a drooly, blue cosmic wolf. Kosmo crawls up the bed to nose at his bare chest before curling up against it, causing him to breathe a laugh as he pets the wolf’s fur down where it’s sticking up. 

Given how much room is left in the bed, Keith must’ve gotten up and decided to let Lance sleep-in. Still, the wolf tenderly licks at Lance’s forearm, most likely sent on a mission to wake him up. His bruises have long since healed, but he will always wear the faintest scars from his drug abuse; however, it takes a sharp eye to really know what kind of markings they are.

“Five more minutes, okay?” Lance yawns, mindlessly scratching the wolf’s soft ears. Usually, on lazy mornings like this, Keith would watch with fond annoyance as Lance pretended to doze off a few times before finally giving in and letting his head drop abruptly to Keith’s shoulder. Lance can never really tell if Keith is aware of the fact he is usually still awake, but maybe that is for the best. 

Kosmo sniffs before nosing at his hands and dragging the covers off him, leaving Lance exposed to the chill morning air.

“Ugh, Kosmo!” Lance grunts, sitting up to see the wolf leaping off the mattress and prancing around with the comforter still firmly locked in its mouth. “You traitor!”

Kosmo growls quietly in response, sitting happily on the floor as the blanket rests at his feet. Lance climbs out of bed, stretching his arms high above his head with another yawn. By the sound of chatter and the warm smell wafting in from the kitchen, he figures it’s best to get up for breakfast finally. 

Maneuvering around Kosmo, who has created his own personal lair of blankets on the floor, Lance makes his way to their en suite bathroom for his usual routine. As always, he shaves quickly in the mirror before changing and taking his morning medication. A dollop of facial moisturizer, a quick brush of his teeth, and Lance checks his phone and grins at the time.

“Did that in under ten minutes,” he brags to Kosmo. Lance quickly looks at the wolf for confirmation because, at this point, he’s been around his family long enough to buy into the theory that he can read his mind. Kosmo just blinks slowly at him and yawns completely unimpressed.

Lance shakes his head, making his way across the bedroom in three long strides to pick up his gold wedding band from the ring dish on their dresser, slipping it on like a second skin. When he leaves the bedroom, he makes sure to be light on his feet, enjoying the sound of laughter coming from the kitchen downstairs.

Their two-story house still has the smell of fresh paint, and there are cardboard boxes scattered around the hallway and a few stacked in Azure’s bedroom. The walls painted a deep purple, Lance bought a pack of glow-in-the-dark stars to stick on her ceiling once they're fully unpacked. Azure’s bed is already made, most likely with the help of Keith, and covered with her ever-growing collection of stuffed animals. Captain Taki and Blue are probably in the kitchen with her and Keith, still never far from Azure. 

The wall of the hallway leading to the stairs is already covered with framed photos, and there’s more where they came from in the remaining boxes. Lance is making good on his promise to capture as many moments on film as possible, sometimes to Keith’s fond exasperation. His old box of memorabilia has been donated to the Voltron museum that Romelle's historical academy is curating in New Altea. The once hidden photo of Lance and Allura now happily hangs next to the new picture of Lance, Keith and Azure from last year's Allura Day.

Shortly after Luxuria, Keith had confessed to Lance his concerns about raising Azure on his cruiser. Being the only kid around a bunch of Blade members was lonely, no matter how friendly they were. It was also apparent that Keith’s arm injury meant he couldn’t be nearly as involved in ground missions anymore. 

In those first few weeks after they reunited at the Garrison, Keith and Azure had stayed with Lance while Keith underwent physical therapy. Shiro managed to pull some strings and secured a spot for Azure at the day camp on the Garrison grounds for the rest of the summer. Azure was overjoyed, having taken a shine to Earth and enjoying being able to spend time with both her fathers in the same place. Still, Lance could tell that Keith was uneasy about their next steps and what his life would look like if he were to take a step back from the Blade of Marmora.

A few nights, Shiro would agree to let Azure stay overnight at his apartment with Kosmo. Luckily, she was too excited to have a sleepover with her uncle to question why her daddies wanted _alone_ time. 

“So, I’ve been thinking,” Lance had confided softly. Keith had leaned his head on his chest while Lance ran blunt nails across Keith’s scalp, the edges of his hair still damp with sweat from their previous activities. The arm brace was secured around his swelling muscle.

“That’s never good.” Keith had snorted, and Lance tugged a little too hard on a strand of his hair. “Ow! Lance!”

“Haha, you’re so funny, Keith,” he’d mocked. Keith had chuckled and looked up at Lance with a dreamy smile. The fond teasing and banter a constant comfort, even as they became reacquainted after so much time apart. Some things never change. “I’m serious, but it might sound like one of my crazy ideas.”

“I love your crazy ideas. Try me.”

“Do you and Azure want to get a house on Earth with me?” he’d asked, hurriedly and under his breath like he was suggesting something utterly shameful. Keith had stared blankly back at him, and Lance stopped scratching. “See, I told you it was crazy!” 

Lance had turned to look down at Keith through his eyelashes. When Keith didn’t reply right away, he felt a boiling of panic in his gut.

“I mean if you wanted a home on Earth,” he’d stammered, tapping the tips of his fingers together in a nervous dance as he unloaded all his thoughts from the past few days. “We can get a bigger apartment, or a house in one of the suburbs out here like the Holts, or maybe even build a new house where your Pop’s place was before the invasion? I was talking with Krolia, and she mentioned there’s probably a deed you’ve inherited that's still with the Garrison. My brothers and I can start work rebuilding the house while your shoulder is recovering so you and Azure can stay with me until — ”

Keith had propelled himself forward to capture Lance's lips. 

“That’s not crazy, that's brilliant,” Keith had gasped the moment they pulled apart, hands cupping Lance’s face and drawing him back in again. Lance had struggled to keep himself from losing balance on the small bed; it wasn’t meant to accommodate two grown men. “That’s what I want, too. I know I haven’t given Earth much of a chance, but you and Azure make me want to give it another shot. I don’t care where we live, Lance. Hell, it could be in an RV for all I care. As long as it’s the three of us, I'm happy."

“Really?” Lance had whispered urgently against his lips, a sob he would very much deny ever happening slipping out. He wanted this so badly. The very thought of Keith and Azure leaving right when they’d just started figuring everything out felt unbearable. “We can stay together?”

“Yes,” Keith had nodded, and that’s when Lance noticed tears were sparkling in his eyes. It had filled Lance’s heart with so much affection that he hadn’t know what else to do other than hold Keith close and kiss him. 

After that, it was a whirlwind of activity with Shiro somehow approving the transfer of the deed to Keith in only a matter of days. 

“I’m pretty sure the average time to transfer a title on a property that size is at least a month. Are you pulling some strings here, Shirogane?” Lance had accused him while Keith signed the paperwork in his office with Krolia, Azure sitting comfortably in his lap. She was practicing writing her name on scrap paper, mimicking signing her own paperwork.

“Me? Use my influence over the Garrison still badgering me to become Admiral to ensure your new home brings me closer to my goddaughter?” he’d said, feigning offense before taking a long sip from his coffee mug. “I’d _never_ do anything like that.”

Lance wasn’t at all convinced.

“There’s a line here about the title going to a spouse in the event of...D-E-A-T-H," Krolia had noted, pointing to the line in the paperwork over Keith’s shoulder before looking up at Shiro. “This was why I couldn’t get the land as I was never properly married to Keith’s father. At least according to Earth customs.”

“It shouldn’t be a problem as long as Keith is around for Azure to inherit it when she turns eighteen,” Shiro replied, but Lance caught the way that Keith’s hold on Azure tightened. He knew since Luxuria Keith had worried about taking care of Azure in his absence. Especially given how close she had come to being sent to temporary foster care if not for Lance. 

That’s why it shouldn’t have surprised him when Keith turned to him and blurted, “Let’s get married.”

Lance had screeched, “ _What_?” and at the same time, Azure had cheered, “ _Yay_!”

Shock registered across Shiro's face, like his brain's cogs couldn't turn fast enough to understand what Keith just announced. Then a grin crept onto his face, and it soon stretched from one side to the other, showing every tooth. Lance even caught a small smile pulled across Krolia's lips.

“I—uh. Think we should get married,” Keith had repeated, his face blushing down to his neck. “If that’s...uh...something that you want to do. I've been thinking about it, anyway.”

Keith had been thinking about marrying him. It's something that's been _on his mind_. Lance's heart threatened to beat out of his chest.

“Can you get married right now?” Azure had asked, looking between them eagerly. “Can Uncle Taki marry people?”

“Sure,” Shiro had answered with a shrug, and Lance threw him a warning look over Azure’s head that read _stop talking_.

If possible, Keith had blushed even harder. “I mean, we also don’t have to. It was just an idea.”

“No, get married! Please? _Pretty_ please?” Azure had whined, turning around to wrap her arms around Keith’s neck and turning to send an adorable pout at Lance, her big blue eyes shining. “Does Papa not want to marry Daddy?”

“No, no, no! That’s not it at all,” Lance had stumbled over himself, taking Keith’s hands as he dropped into the seat next to them. “Marrying you would be great. Really great, actually! Amazing, even!” 

“Then Papa is marrying Daddy!” Azure had cheered again, climbing from Keith’s lap to Lance’s to bounce and sing, “Daddies are getting married! Daddies are getting married!”

“But, um, do you want to talk about it more when we’re not, like, in the middle of signing important paperwork?” Lance had offered quietly, so Azure couldn’t hear, tilting his head to acknowledge their situation. Shiro’s office was nice and all, but it didn’t exactly scream wedding bells. 

Keith had stared at him, and for a minute, everything stilled, and all he could see was Keith’s eyes, the trust in his expression, and suddenly Lance’s concerns seemed downright foolish. 

“Do you have plans to marry anyone else?”

“No! Of course not!”

Keith had given him a short, tight nod. “Me neither. I love you, and there’s nobody else for me.”

“Same. I love you too, Keith," Lance had exhaled, a dopey smile spread across his face as he squeezed his hands. "It’s always been you.”

“Okay,” Keith had said, kissing the tops of Lance’s knuckles so gently, like butterfly kisses. “Then what else is there to talk about?” 

Lance couldn’t have loved him more if he had tried. For his bluntness, for his surety, for his steadiness. It was so reckless, spontaneous, but he wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. “Alrighty then. Let’s get married.”

The paperwork had been simple enough, and Krolia had acted as their witness while Shiro officiated. Azure had ripped up printer paper as last-second confetti and had thrown it at them once Shiro had confirmed they were officially spouses for life. It made a mess of Shiro’s office but captured the spirit of the day.

They had even updated Azure’s paperwork as well to reflect her new full name: _Azure Allura Kogane-McClain._ Their daughter was ecstatic, noting that the only downside was that she had a lot more letters to learn to spell her name, but she promised to practice.

Leave it to them to do everything out of order.

Their location worked out well in the end as Keith shifted his role with the Blade of Marmora from tactical missions on the ground to broader strategy within the ranks of Alliance leadership. He promoted Ezor and Zethrid to run the groundwork, and results have been largely positive. Who would've thought being space pirates and providing relief to far-flung disaster areas required similar skill sets?

Keith's promotion keeps him mostly on Garrison property aside from a few weeks when he goes on diplomatic missions. Lance always joins him, knowing better than anyone how irritated his husband can get when dealing with particularly prickly leaders. By now, admin knows to schedule a sub for Lance's courses those days, and Pidge prepares her spare room to babysit Azure. Their good-cop, bad-cop approach always seems to get the job done in the end.

Another perk is that Acxa has moved into Veronica’s townhouse twenty minutes away. It makes visits easier, especially after having their son a few weeks ago. During their visit to the hospital, Azure had been mesmerized by how small her cousin was from behind the glass.

“Are _all_ babies that little?” she had asked Keith as he held her up against the glass. “Was _I_ that little?”

“You were even smaller,” Keith had informed her, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “When they put you in my arms, you barely fit.”

Azure’s brows had furrowed, and Lance reached over to pinch her cheek playfully. “You’re still a peanut, birdie.” 

It hadn’t been until the ride back home that Azure dropped the bomb on them.

“You should have another baby,” she’d said casually, looking out the window in the back booster-seat as if she were telling them something that happened at daycare that morning. 

Lance had nearly choked to death on his gum and Keith might've swerved their car off the road if not for his white-knuckled grip on the wheel. Still, their reactions hadn’t phased Azure one bit. 

“Our new house has a lot of rooms so we can fit a baby inside if they’re that little,” she’d reasoned. As if the only thing keeping them from having another child was space. “Or it can stay with me in my room. I can move my toys.”

A tense silence had followed, and Lance pretended to busy himself on his phone, trying to hide his anxious blush. 

“We’ll think about it,” Keith had finally replied, and that was the end of the conversation. 

At least they thought.

Lance makes his way downstairs and stumbles into the kitchen, where Azure is sitting at the island, legs swinging as she scribbles with crayons on a piece of paper next to her breakfast. In front of her, Keith flips pancakes as the fragrance of coffee and syrup waft through the room.

“Daddy, I have a knock-knock joke,” Azure announces between a mouthful of pancakes. “Ready?”

“Go for it,” Keith urges, still looking at the pan.

“Knock knock?”

“Who’s there?”

“A gorilla!” Azure announces, before looking down at her plate with a frown. “Wait...no, that’s too scary. Nevermind, I have another joke. Okay?”

“Hit me.”

“Daddy, are you from Alabama?” 

“Uh, no?” Keith raises his eyebrow at their daughter over his shoulder. “Why?”

Azure grins widely. “Because you’re the only _Ala_ I _bama_ _!_ ”

Keith is completely baffled, and Lance can’t hide his snort as he comes up from behind to smoothly wrap his arms around his husband’s waist. He turns to their daughter in delight. “I thought it was funny, birdie.”

“Thanks, Papa!”

“Well, look who decided to wake up,” Keith hums and moves the pancakes from the skillet to a clean plate. 

Lance turns his head slightly, nuzzling into the curve of Keith’s neck and inhaling deeply. “You sent the wolf after me.”

“Better than getting an earful about your beauty sleep,” Keith says, turning to peck Lance on the lips. He can tell Keith’s been tasting the pancakes, his lips taste like honey. “Take a seat. I’m almost done cooking and then we gotta finish packing for tonight.”

Lance obeys, taking a seat next to Azure and helping her cut the rest of her blueberry pancakes. Azure turns and opens her mouth and lets Lance feed her. It’s their little inside joke that Lance will swoop in as if to steal a piece of her food, and she’ll open her mouth for him to redirect the fork to her mouth instead. It’s silly, but it makes his daughter laugh every time, so it’s one of his favorite things even though it makes breakfast take that much longer.

Azure’s four-years-old, and there isn’t much Lance doesn’t know about his daughter. Her favorite animals are still lions, but sharks are second best. Her favorite color is purple because it’s the perfect balance between pink and blue. She wants a pizza party for her birthday this year, but also a cupcake party. It changes from week to week. 

Her Spanish has improved ten-fold, and Lance’s mother has started teaching her piano during their visits. Of course, Azure is picking it up like a pro. Lance desperately wants to get a piano for the living room, but Keith refused because they’re a pain to move. Although one look at Keith’s search history on piano movers tells Lance he’s about to get his way like always.

Every morning they drop Azure off at daycare together, and while she was hesitant the first day, by the second day she was so excited, she ditched the two of them in the hallway after a quick goodbye. Having dropped Sylvio and Nadia off over the years, Lance was more emotionally prepared than Keith who looked downright _abandoned._ All Lance could do was cradle his husband and flash strained smiles at the surrounding mothers giving them sympathetic looks as they each handed Keith tissues as he croaked, “Is this normal? Is this supposed to happen? Why didn’t you warn me about this, Lance?”

Azure fills Lance in on the latest playground drama while he braids her hair in the morning and not to sound like a stereotype, but it is _riveting_. Lance knows that Azure’s best friend at daycare is a girl named Daisy, but a boy named Manuel keeps trying to steal their spot on the jungle gym. It’s the big drama of the week; before that, it was who was going to get to play with the kitchen playset. Lance shares these stories with Keith at the end of the day with the same seriousness as a status report to the ATLAS, and his husband stares at him like he’s nuts. 

These are the things Lance shares during his therapy appointments and support groups now. Not every day is perfect, Azure still throws her occasional tantrum, and Lance and Keith still bicker over forgetting to do the dishes before leaving on a mission or not putting the laundry away. But now Keith drives Lance to his AA meetings, and Keith has Lance to lean on as they support Azure with her anxiety disorder. Allowing herself to cry is still hard for her, but they've been working on helping her name her feelings to express her fears so she can cope in safe and healthier ways. It’s helping her learn to let go of her instinct to comfort those around her and let her Daddies take on those burdens instead.

Lance has found the love of his life and is happier than he’s ever thought possible. He’s married to his best friend and gets to be the dad of the universe’s most amazing little girl. Sometimes he tells his therapist that he still feels like he’s getting away with something. Like it can all be taken away as a cruel cosmic joke, but he kindly reminds Lance of all the work it took to get there. It didn’t happen overnight, but now he gets to wake up to mornings like these and remember it’s real. 

Keith places the plate of pancakes in front of Lance and pulls himself up to sit on a high stool at the breakfast bar on the other side of Azure. “I told Shiro we’ll meet him and Coran at the station on New Altea. Should be the easiest way to get through the crowd since it’s Allura Day.”

Lance gasps with a conspiring whisper, “Is he bringing Curtis?”

"I didn't ask." Keith’s glare is both affectionate and stern. “Are you meddling again?”

“Rude!” Lance answers immediately, waving his fork in Keith’s direction. “I’ll have you know that I’ve been on the Shurtis ship for _years_. It’s not meddling if I had to listen to Shiro pine about the guy for months when I lived with him. If anything, I’m more invested than anyone!”

“You’re ridiculous,” Keith sighs, taking one of Azure’s crayons and mindlessly making a tic-tac-toe board in a free spot on the paper. Azure takes the corner with her O and Keith doesn’t cut her any slack and puts his X right in the middle. Ruthless. 

“Ridiculous enough that you married me,” Lance preens, throwing him a flirty wink. "Rest of your life right here."

It flusters Keith enough that he’s caught off-guard, and Azure manages to overtake him on the board, getting three in a row.

"I win! Good game, Daddy." Azure grins, and Keith grumbles, honestly put out by the loss because even now he's adorably competitive. She looks over her shoulder to smile up at Lance. “Papa, can you make my hair pretty for Auntie Allura Day?”

Azure learned the hard way which parent to go to when it comes to her hair. Keith tried to up his hairstyle game a few months ago when Azure said some of the girls were wearing their hair in fishtail braids. Lance had been away on an ATLAS mission with Shiro, and instead of just calling him for help, in an act of pure stubbornness Keith had stayed up until one in the morning, on the verge of tears, watching video tutorials on how to weave them.

By the time Lance had come home the next day, he was impressed by how decent Keith's braiding had come out. Until that night when it took two hours of Azure crying and Keith crying and Lance ready to go drown himself in the bathtub for them to pull out all the bobby pins and untangle that nightmare. So now Keith is forbidden from doing anything other than ponytails without Lance's direct supervision.

"Yup. Go get ready and I'll meet you upstairs to glam you up," Lance says, and Azure hops off the stool to hurry upstairs. She's just out of sight when Lance calls, "Don't slam the—"

_SLAM!_

"...door because the paint is still drying," he groans, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Well, there goes that coat."

"Told you to wait until she's at my mom's next weekend, but _someone’s_ impatient," Keith hums, picking up Lance’s finished plate to load into the dishwasher on the other side of the kitchen island. 

"I wanted to test the palettes cause we have four rooms upstairs and they all can't have the same color. That's boring," Lance defends, before dropping his chin in his hand. "By the way, what are we doing with that extra room?"

Keith shrugs, loading the dishwasher with the dirty skillet. "I dunno. Guest room?"

"We already have a guest room-slash-office," Lance points out, rapping his fingers against the granite counter. "Seems a little redundant unless there's...something else we'd want to use it for?"

"Like what?"

"I dunno...maybe something like a…"

Lance looks Keith dead in the eye, arching a brow and daring his husband to finish the sentence. He wonders if he can tap into the old Voltron mind-meld and plant the thought into Keith's brian without needing to say it out loud.

Keith blinks, and Lance thinks at him harder. 

Come on, it rhymes with _cursory_ …

Another door slam breaks his concentration, and Azure yells from the top of the stairs, "Daddies! There's sticky stuff on the doors!"

Lance sighs, knowing not only was the moment broken but that Azure definitely ruined the paint coat.

"It's paint," Keith corrects her, pushing off the counter with Lance to make their way to the staircase. "Did you touch it?"

Azure looks down at her hand, before hiding it behind her back. "No?"

Lance and Keith exchange a look of parental exasperation. 

That's a yes.

* * *

Entering the orbit of New Altea in a small, personal ship, Lance leans back in his seat. He catches Keith's glance before he sees the hand unfurl from where it's resting on the controls. He takes his hand, threading their fingers together until he can play with Lance’s wedding ring with his thumb. Its match sits on a chain around Keith’s neck.

"Azure fell asleep on you the second we left the teleduv proving my theory that you’re the universe’s most comfortable pillow," he notes, smiling through his teasing. "It's cute."

Lance sputters indignantly. "Who are you calling cute? I'm a grizzled war hero."

"You can be a grizzled war hero _and_ cute," Keith reasons, eyes glancing back to where they're waiting for admission through the checkpoint for New Altea. The ship moves ever so slowly closer to the planet.

"Well, you make it look easy," Lance flings back. He can't stop the grin spreading across his face when Keith's cheeks tint pink. As always, he can dish it but never take it.

Though technically still newlyweds, they’d settled into their domestic life with relative ease. Lance wasn’t sure if Keith was ready to fully walk away from fieldwork, only to remember that the only thing his husband loves more than hacking at things with knives, is arguing. It’s not a coincidence that the Blade of Marmora never seems to have an issue accessing planets with Keith behind the Alliance negotiations. 

Their marriage is full of love, but also mutual respect and occasional inside jokes. They don’t hide their feelings and nothing is too scary or ugly to share with the other. They still bicker, but it’s something playful from their old dynamic that they just couldn’t drop. It comes easily to them, the back and forth bantering as their own flirty dance. 

Between his sobriety and Keith’s recovery, there isn’t much these days Lance feels they can’t talk about or a topic they can’t broach. The hesitance he feels is on him, Lance knows this, but he doesn’t know how to bring up the possibility of trying for another baby to Keith. 

Seeing Veronica and Acxa with their newborn, lit something inside Lance that’s felt dormant for years. It is yearning for something that isn’t drugs or alcohol, but a baby. It’s no secret that Lance always wanted a big family having come from one himself, but Keith was an only child with the closest thing to a sibling he’s ever had is Shiro. 

_“We’ll think about it.”_

It could be that Azure is enough for Keith, and Lance wouldn’t feel an ounce of resentment for it. Whether their family was of three or three thousand, Lance would be happy. He hates feeling so selfish for wanting more even as he pretends not to and just wishes he knew where they stood on it.

Lance sighs, dropping the thought from his mind to give Keith’s hand another squeeze. “How’s your shoulder holding up?”

“A little sore and I’m starting to get pins-and-needles, but I’ll be fine once we land,” Keith says honestly, as Lance lets go of his hand to trace the outline of the shoulder brace under Keith’s shirt. His new brace is supposed to be easing the discomfort, but there’s always an adjustment period between fittings.

Keith’s arm never fully recovered from being shot on Luxuria. Even with months of physical therapy, there’s only so much that can be done with that much tendon and nerve damage. Keith’s not supposed to overexert his shoulder because if it’s inflamed when he’s getting fit for a new brace, it won’t fit right when the swelling goes down and they’d need to go through the whole hassle all over again.

In the beginning, Keith would skip his physical therapy appointments or go days without the brace, until the pain got to be so unbearable that Lance stayed up all night soothing Keith’s shoulder, rotating between an ice pack and hot compress, whispering how stupid he was for being so stubborn. Now Lance makes sure to go with Keith to every appointment. He always makes sure afterward to include an exceeding amount of pampering that Keith claims is entirely unnecessary, but Lance loves doing it. Keith always ends up melting under the treatment, so they both enjoy the arrangement. 

“I can fly home tomorrow,” Lance promises, and in his arms, Lance feels Azure stir from her nap. Not that Lance can blame her — the trip was particularly brutal with everyone using the teleduvs. Allura Day has quickly become one of the biggest travel holidays of the year. 

Even when he's just being used as a place to nap on, Lance still can't believe how being a father is better than he ever thought possible. The days of fanatically searching parenting blogs for confirmation of his own shortcomings have long passed. He's since learned for himself those articles lean into a mix of fear-mongering and cutesy clichés that rarely share what it's like to actually be a dad.

Those articles never mention that life with a child will suddenly feel very short, and that brings a kind of delicious urgency to everything. They also don’t tell you that you will be slower and more present and also more ambitious than you ever thought possible. His arm is going numb with pins and needles as he holds Azure, but he's never felt as relaxed as this in his entire life.

Sure, sometimes there's disappointment. The universe is a scary place, and he's a volatile, imperfect human who sometimes fails to rise above the shitstorm. Azure loves to test her limits, and it drives Lance crazy because he _knows_ her instinctively because he sees himself. She'll question everything, especially rules that don't seem fair or logical. It's not uncommon for them to hear from her daycare teachers that Azure is a kind, smart, compassionate child who doesn't always listen. She's daring to the point that Lance is sure this is some sort of cosmic punishment for all the stunts Keith and Lance pulled in their lives. Still, they're always there to spot her and pick her up when she falls.

Lance is doing his best. He can be whatever parent he needs to be and it’s okay. He doesn't recognize himself from the man he was five years ago, but Azure does. Keith does. And it’s beyond worth it.

It's clear from the ease in Keith's face as he waits in this traffic that even in these mundane moments they're both really, deeply happy. That’s what those articles don’t explain. When you're a family, even in the trenches, it feels damn good as long as you have each other. Even during Azure's most difficult days, Lance and Keith can laugh about it, and he knows that _this_ is what he's always wanted. He wanted to be cast into this circus together. He understands the gift of the insanity and how his parents managed to raise five rambunctious kids on a farm along the Cuban coastline.

When she sits up, Azure is groggy and squinty as the ship lights reflect off her face. During her nap, Blue and Captain Taki had been squished somewhere between Lance’s thighs and the seat.

"Hey birdie," Lance hums, pushing back a few curls that have stuck to her forehead. He's going to need to redo her braid before they head planetside. "Am I a comfortable bed?"

Azure hums, still too tired to answer him fully. She leans her ear against Lance's chest and tugs Blue free from where it’s pinched and hugs it tightly. “Are we almost there?"

"We still need to get through the checkpoint, sweetheart," Keith explains as their ship nears the checkpoint, and he squeezes Azure's tiny leg with his free hand. "You can go back to sleep for a little bit longer if you want."

Azure shakes her head, snuggling closer to Lance and watching the line of shuttles move slowly ahead through the window. Keith eyes the ship’s navigation to ensure they're still on course to land without smashing into anything. Once confirmed there’s no debris in their line of sight, Keith turns back to Azure, running a gentle hand through her bangs.

“Are you excited to see everyone?” he asks nodding towards the planet with its rings and pastel coloring visible even in orbit. It’s only Azure’s second Allura Day, and this year they’ve learned their lesson about traffic and are staying the night at the castle. “We can say hi to Auntie Allura’s statue.”

Azure perks up at the mention of her favorite paladin, leaning forward to see the planet better over the control panel. She glances down at her lap before holding her lion plushie up towards the window. Lance raises an eyebrow at the display.

“Blue wanted to see Altea too,” Azure explains with her typical adorable seriousness.

There’s a beeping noise, and Keith turns back to the control panel. As the co-pilot, Lance inputs the codes for their ship as they request access. 

“Are they as backed up as last year?” he asks, remembering what a scramble it was to remember all three of their codes. Azure wouldn’t stop triggering the voice assistant with all her questions either, making it more chaotic. Eventually, Coran had waved them through himself before lecturing them on remembering their access codes.

“I hope not. Romelle said they set up a new system this year to help funnel the tourists,” Keith says, locking in coordinates and waiting for a transfer signal to request landing access. Their screen is filled with the face of a smiling Altean man with neat green hair cropped short wearing a headpiece.

“You are in the designated landing zone for New Altea, the second member of the Galaxy Alliance,” he relays in a perky tone, his face cheerful and handsome. The robotic tone of voice and the script he's reading indicates that he’s actually a hologram recording. “If you are a resident of Altea, please input your security code. If you are a citizen of another planet within the Galaxy Alliance, please input your planet ID code. If you are a visitor—” 

Keith doesn’t give the recording a chance to continue, already inputting their code and hitting enter. The tape skips to the end of its script. “Thank you. Please wait while we verify your ID codes.”

“You’d think with all the technological advancement we’ve made, we’d be able to get better at automated tellers,” Lance notes, resting his cheek on his fist as Azure plays with Captain Taki and Blue in his lap. “I should make a special request to Pidge.”

“She’d just put it on the back burner until she wraps up that creepy project C.H.I.P. thing with Matt,” Keith replies, face twisting in a sour expression as he glances at Lance. “Did she make the robot sentient yet?”

“I dunno and I don’t wanna find out.”

There’s a delightful ding, and they change their attention back to the recording. The Altean man has returned; his expression is pleasant. 

“Thank you for your patience, Captain Kogane-McClain,” he says, voice even as the list of names appears on the screen. “Please confirm if the following passengers are also with you: Commander Lance Kogane-McClain and Azure Kogane-McClain.”

“Yes, that’s my family.” Keith beams, radiating pride at reading all three of their names together. Lance can’t help but feel pride swell inside his own chest.

Lance reaches over to cover Keith’s hand with his own over the controls. Seeing their names together strikes a soft sentiment in his heart. It’s proof the three of them are family, finally reunited.

* * *

Coran and Shiro meet them at the teleduv station and embrace the three of them in a tight hug. Azure is scooped from Lance’s hold by Coran, who’s very interested in hearing about Captain Taki’s yalmor adventures on Earth. 

New Altea’s pink hues and bright blue sky reflect off Azure’s hair like a prism. Coran carries her through the New Castle of Lions, prattling off historical “fun facts” about the castle where they’ll be staying. Lance finds it dreadfully boring and he can tell from the pained expression Azure is sending him over Coran’s shoulder that she does too.

Luckily, Romelle graciously rescues their daughter from Coran’s clutches and cuts the tour short. She chases Azure through the halls and out toward the royal juniberry fields, ignoring Coran’s scolding.

"Oh, never mind," Coran sighs, shaking his head fondly. "Allura would've done the same thing. She always hated these tours."

Lance puts a comforting hand on Coran’s shoulder, the wistfullness evident in his voice. It's no secret that Azure reminded him of Allura and Lance remembers the way Coran had broke into tears when Keith and Lance told him that Azure carried Allura’s name. Even with the time that's passed, her loss never got easier for Coran. To him, losing her was like losing a daughter of his own.

Coran leads them through another set of corridors, and Lance and Keith drop their bags in their guest quarters. After Coran rushes off to finish preparing for the dinner, Lance and Keith head outside to find a bench to sit on. They relax with a decent sightline of where Romelle and Azure build flower crowns in the royal meadow. Keith’s hand is warm in Lance’s, rubbing a thumb over his knuckles tenderly. Lance closes his eyes and feels the wind gently caress them both.

Keith asks, “You think Allura watches us?” 

He whispers the question so softly, but Lance still picks it up over the wind and sound of Azure's giggles from the meadow.

“Oh, I know she does,” Lance replies instantly, turning to look at where Romelle and Azure are playing. He remembers just how nosey Allura had been when they were paladins. "There’s no way she’s missing out on watching over her niece."

It’s times like these when Lance feels most connected to Allura’s spirit. Maybe it’s his marks, but somehow he can tell she’s with them today, sensing her around them. Every time a flower petal flies around Azure, tickling her nose and making her laugh, he knows it’s her.

“I think she’s really happy for us,” Lance continues, the corners of his eyes crinkling when he laughs. Keith joins in with a few chuckles too.

“I think so, too.”

Hunk serves dinner, ensuring there’s a special plate of chicken nuggets and ketchup for Azure. She’s so excited that Keith needs to cut her food to keep her from stuffing them all in her mouth. There’s no alcohol on the table, only sparkling water, and other bubbly drinks. When Pidge joins them, she brings Curtis. The whole table cat calls teasingly when he pulls Shiro in for a kiss.

“You guys don’t do that to Keith and Lance,” Shiro argues, and Pidge shrugs.

“Team Klance is old news. Now we’re all in on team _Shurtis_.”

Curtis’ face twists in confusion. “I feel like there could be a better portmanteau here.”

“ _Shurtis_ or bust, man.” Hunk laughs, passing him a serving plate of fish good-naturedly. 

As they do every year, the team toasts Allura. This year the goblets are all filled with non-alcoholic sparkling ciders. Sniffing Keith’s glass, the bubbles tickle Azure’s nose and make her sneeze. 

Night falls, and Coran leads them down to the shore, pink sand kissing the coast of the Royal Azure Sea. Hunk lights a bonfire to show Azure how to make smores, which becomes a sticky mess, but Keith watches the scene with endearment. A band plays on one of the royal balconies – Curtis sweeps Shiro up to dance, barefoot in the sand, and dipping him to let him laugh up at the stars.

Coran gets pulled into a row when Romelle and Pidge swear to fight to the death in a one-on-one volleyball match. Neither of the Alteans knows what the game entails, but Coran is already running to the shed for a fishing net and two poles. Meanwhile, Lance starts a competition with their daughter to see who can build the tallest smore, and it doesn’t take much to goad Keith into joining the match. It ends in a draw after Azure gets marshmallows stuck on her nose, and Hunk calls the challenge a crime against chocolate. Azure shoves a melted chocolate bar in Keith's face, and Lance laughs so hard his stomach hurts.

The stars spill across the ocean and moonlight pours into the water as sea spray cools on Lance’s face. He feels the tingling of his marks, no doubt twinkling in happiness. 

Lance rests his head on Keith’s shoulder with a deep breath, and Azure is nodding off where she sits in Keith’s lap. Obviously noting that his entire family is using him as a pillow, Keith calls it a night.

“Alright, time to put someone to bed,” he announces, and Azure whines when he picks her up. Lance stands up with a stretch.

"Looks like _you’re_ the universe’s most comfortable pillow, babe," he jokes and Keith rolls his eye as he adjusts Azure in his hold.

“But I’m not sleepy, Daddy,” she insists, but given that she can barely keep her eyes open, Lance begs to differ.

“Say goodnight to everyone, birdie.” Lance leans over to brush her bangs out of her eyes. “You’ll see them all at breakfast tomorrow.”

Azure mumbles an incoherent good night and waves before wrapping her arms around Keith’s neck and snuggling into his shoulder, already asleep again. 

Lance and Keith bring her back to their suite in the castle. They pass her between each other with expert precision as they change Azure into pajamas, brush her teeth, and settle her in bed with both Blue and Captain Taki. Azure goes off without much struggle, still half-asleep for the most part after a long day traveling and celebrating.

They both tuck her in and kiss her goodnight, before leaving the small room through the suite’s common area and then head to their separate bedroom and en suite. It’s amenities like this that remind Lance that this is actually a castle and not a fancy hotel.

When the swish of the automated door closes behind them, a king-sized bed comes into view. Just seeing it makes Lance’s body feel exhausted, his now chronic aches in his back and shoulders begging him to dive into the sheets like an Olympic swimmer.

A pair of strong arms wrap around his midsection and fingertips trace across Lance’s chest in tantalizing little movements. 

“I feel like we’re back at a scene of the crime,” Keith drawls, pulling Lance out of the trance of wanting to sleep to a new trance of needing Keith closer.

It takes Lance a few moments to catch on to what he’s referencing, but when it clicks in his mind, he feels his ear pinken. It makes Keith laugh as he turns him around to push him down gently, so he’s sitting at the end of the bed so Keith can climb gracefully into his lap. 

Lance could sit like this for hours, just gazing up at Keith mesmerized by his affection. Seeing his love reflected is a better high than any drug and sweeter than any wine. Keith cups Lance’s jaw and pulls him in for a kiss. Despite it being brief, there’s a hint of sexual urgency, and he begins unbuttoning Lance’s shirt with skilled fingers.

“Being here makes me wonder if it was just luck,” Keith continues, placing soft kisses up Lance’s neck before nibbling softly on his earlobe. Somehow Lance groans, even though he’s never thought of himself as an ear-play guy. “Or if you really are a _sharpshooter_ ”

He grips Lance’s hair and tries to pull him in for a kiss again, but Lance leans away. That gorgeous smile now replaced by something smug and self-satisfied. “Keith, are you insinuating something here?”

Lance gasps when his shirt unbuttons, and the fresh night air hits his skin. Keith’s warm hands are on him instantly, feeling up the planes of his chest and flicking his nipples teasingly. He lets out a satisfied hum as Keith nuzzles into his neck. It’s yet to get old having Keith touch him so casually, so adoringly. He doubts it ever will. They can be old, saggy and arthritis-ridden and Lance's heart will still race whenever Keith's calloused hands caress his skin.

“It could’ve been a fluke the last time, but we can try again,” Keith whispers, sucking marks down Lance’s neck. “And again...and again.”

Keith’s hands slowly make their way down towards the v of Lance’s hips, popping the fly of his pants and dragging the zipper down. Lance is wearing boxers, but his _excitement_ is apparent against the fabric. 

“Until it sticks.”

Lance’s brain finally catches up with his dick, breaking out of Keith’s spell. This sounds too specific to be their standard dirty talk. This sounds a lot like... 

“Hold up, time out,” Lance says, raising his hands in a T-formation. Keith quickly pulls back but wraps his arms around Lance’s neck for security. It takes everything in Lance’s power not to be distracted by the bedroom eyes his husband is giving him. “Keith, are you saying that...you want to _try_ again?”

All of Keith’s sexual confidence melts like an ice cube on a hot sidewalk. A sweet flush blossoms across his face, and when he pushes back his hair, the tips of his ears are red too. He’s bashful, but there’s also desire beneath it all and it's throwing Lance for a bit of a loop.

“I don’t _not_ want to try,” Keith says, the blush darkening as the conversation’s topic becomes more apparent. “I know we may not want to put all our eggs in the basket — 

“Ha. Pun.”

“ _Lance_.”

“Sorry, reflex. Keep going,” Lance urges, pulling Keith’s arms off his shoulder so he can hold both his hands. He squeezes, hoping it’s enough to show his husband that he’s on board. The idea of possibly growing their family is enough to make him almost faint with happiness and relief after worrying.

“We don’t have to be intentional about it, but if it happens.” Keith shrugs, eyes shifting to the side as he bites his bottom lip to keep from grinning. “I’d be happy.”

“Me too,” Lance breathes, pulling Keith close to whisper against his lips. “I’d be _so_ happy. God, I’ve been wanting to bring it up for days now, but didn’t know how to ask.”

They rest their foreheads together, each with a sigh. “Same, but I didn’t want to jinx it,” Keith confesses. “If it’s not as easy the second time around, I was scared you’d be disappointed.” He chews at his bottom lip. “I know it’s stupid, but I didn’t want to get our hopes up for something that was an accident the first time.”

“First of all, it takes two to tango, babe. Don’t put all the pressure on yourself. Emotionally, spiritually, _biologically_ we gotta do this together,” Lance assures him softly and smiles when he makes Keith laugh. It’s a soft, happy noise. “Second, there’s nothing that makes me happier than being a family with you. No matter the size. I’m not going anywhere, I love you.”

“I know.” Keith pecks his lips, a sneaky kiss with a promise of more to come. “I love you more.”

Lance grins against his lips. “ _Impossible_.”

They land in a mess of tangled limbs on the bed, the frame creaking at the impact. Keith climbs on top of Lance, leaving a trail of kisses from his mouth, his neck, his chest, all the way to the prize below his— 

“Daddies?”

They both sit up, Keith freezing in Lance’s lap the second they hear Azure’s voice outside the door. Lance zips up his pants so quickly he nearly gets it caught, and Keith tries to leap off him like a man on fire. Instead, he fumbles and knees Lance right in the balls.

“ _Fuck_.”

“ _Sorry_!”

By the time the mechanical door swishes open and Azure steps through it, Lance has dumped Keith off his lap in one rough movement, bouncing him into the mattress. Keith lifts his head from where it’s ended up buried in the pillows, blinking dazedly up at Azure. Her arms filled with both Blue and Captain Taki, she squints at them suspiciously in the darkness.

“Azure! Hey!” Lance greets her, legs crossed tightly in front of him as he tries to keep from tearing up over the painful ache in his crouch. He gives an awkward wave to their toddler. “What’s up?”

“What’re you doing?” she asks, nose scrunched in confusion. Lance feels all the blood that was once pooling southward, now climbing up to his cheeks. 

“Wrestling!” Lance yelps and he can feel Keith’s glare burning holes in the back of his head. Yeah, that is totally not normal pre-bedtime behavior. 

Azure rolls her eyes with a huff. “Papa, you shouldn’t wrestle. You’ll get hurt!”

“Ah...right. Good to know.”

“And now we’re getting ready for bed,” Keith says, saving Lance from his obvious floundering to lean over the edge of the mattress. “Which is where _you_ should be, missy.”

“But I’m lonely.” She pouts, hugging her stuffed animals tight. “Can I sleep with Daddies tonight?”

Lance’s heart hurts, and even though Keith is still glaring at him with his _don’t you dare let her win_ look, Lance can’t say no to her. He’s the softie of the two of them, and Keith knows this.

“Sure, birdie,” Lance says, and Keith looks ready to commit mariticide. He ignores his husband’s empty threat and pats the bedding. “You climb in with Blue and Captain Taki and get comfy while Daddies finish getting ready for bed, okay?”

Azure beams, scurrying over, and Lance helps her up. She finds a spot and adjusts herself, Blue and Captain Taki beneath the blankets. Lance grabs his and Keith’s pajamas from their suitcase and tugs, Keith by the hand towards the room’s en suite bathroom.

When Lance locks the door behind them, he flicks the switch for the overhead fan. The fan rumbles, making a loud, whirring noise. 

“Can’t believe we just got cockblocked by our own kid,” Keith grumbles, and Lance smirks and takes stock of how gorgeous his husband looks, even in the harsh fluorescent light of the bathroom. Lance pulls Keith close to him, inspecting the curve of his jaw and the scar that still lingers there. He loves this man so much.

Those thick eyebrows. The permanent pouty turn of his lips. The length of his lashes fanning against his cheekbones. His hair, still unruly even years later. Because he can, he leans over and kisses him. Taking Keith in his arms, showing him how much he loves him. How relieved he is that they’re both still here to be in love.

“Darling, if there’s one thing living with three generations of my family has taught me — ” he pulls back the shower curtain and twists the faucet, letting the powerful spray of the water echo with the fan. It’s enough noise that he can barely hear his own words, but he wiggles his eyebrows for emphasis. “It’s how to improvise.”

“Lance, are you serious —” Keith squeaks when Lance goes back to undressing them, doing his best to be gentle around Keith’s brace.

It doesn't take long for Keith to get with the program and soon he's marking up Lance's neck with fresh love-bites. In an act of dexterity typical of Keith, he manages to leave hickies across Lance’s collarbone while keeping up with the movements of his hands as their clothes pool at their feet.

Keith pulls back, breathless and already looking a little wrecked. “What if Azure gets mad that we're taking so long?”

“She’ll thank us when she gets a sibling,” Lance jokes, capturing Keith's lips passionately and tugging him under the warm spray of water, pushing him up against the shower wall. It doesn’t take much more convincing from there.

They leave the bathroom twenty minutes later with damp hair, fresh pajamas, and dewy skin from the shower. Azure is already asleep in the middle of the mattress. Lance and Keith climb into bed on either side of her and slip under the comforter as quietly as they can to avoid waking her.

Lance feels his body relax the moment his head hits the pillow. Azure’s light snores are barely audible from where she snuggles against her stuffed animals. On her other side, Keith runs his fingers through her hair, sweeping her bangs back affectionately. 

The fluttering in Lance’s chest feels like his heart is threatening to burst from his ribcage. Keith extends his arm across Azure to take Lance’s hand, fingers locking together like found puzzle pieces. Emotion sinks into his features as he whispers, “My whole heart.”

“Always,” Lance promises, squeezing back with a smile. 

Because the three of them together are his heart, too. 

**The End**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW! WE DID IT!
> 
> Alright, there are so many people to thank for this fic. Big thanks to artist BKBS, PussycatScribbles, and Allexche for the illustrations for this fic, ESPECIALLY for the Epilogue. Also, thanks to Purple_softspot for translating my Spanish.
> 
> My deepest thank you to VioletFoxTales for holding my hand through all 15 of these chapters and pushing me to bleed more emotions and, in some cases rewriting entire chapters. You've been my partner through it all, and there's nobody else I'd want to break Google Docs with than you! This fic would not exist without her.
> 
> And last but certainly not least, thank you to every person who has read, commented, tweeted, posted about this story. I wrote this fic to work through my relationship with my mother (a recovering alcoholic) during the isolation in quarantine. I had no idea it would blow up to be one of my most read and kudo'd fics in the fandom. Sitting on this story for so long, I never thought so many of you would get over the mpreg tag, adopt Azure as your own and go on this journey to the very end.
> 
> Writing this fic has been the most fun I've had in the klance universe since my theory days.
> 
> If you want to keep up to date on my next kl fic, subscribe to my Ao3 or follow me over on Twitter/Instagram. I post previews and plot bunnies there, too!
> 
> Thank you everyone! See you next time.

**Author's Note:**

> If you made it to the end! Welcome to the next multi-chapter Astrolatte joint. I have no idea how long this fic is gonna be, but hopefully, we can get to the end together. Please leave me kudos and nice comments, as they are the lifeblood that keeps me writing. As always, thanks to my beta VioletFoxTales. She makes this all possible.
> 
> Follow me on Twitter: @Astro_Latte and Tumblr: astrolatte.tumblr.com


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